Elian arrived at the trailer shortly before eight. When I opened the door, he was holding a bouquet of sunflowers. He looked rather dashing in a pale pink button-down with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and a pair of tattered jeans. It was all I could I do not to grab him by the neck and pull him into a kiss.
I scrunched my forehead. "Are those for me?"
"They're for your mom." he said.
"You don't have to suck up to her." I whispered, stepping aside to allow him inside. I closed the door behind him. "She's already in love with you."
He removed his other hand from behind his back, producing a single red rose. "And how about you?"
Was he asking if he needed to suck up to me, or if I was in love with him?
The answer to the first was a definite no. He didn't need to do anything for me to want him.
The second part was more complicated. How did one know if they were in love, if they'd never been in love before? Could someone know a feeling and name it if they never experienced it?
I bit my lip and took the rose. I raised the bloom up to my nose to sniff it. The petals were soft and cool against my skin. "Thank you."
I held the flower out to brush it across his cheek.
He pushed the flower away and leaned in to kiss the side of my mouth.
Mom walked out of her bedroom, on the other side of the kitchen, wearing gray trousers and a blue silk blouse. She'd been trying to cook and get dressed simultaneously for the last half hour.
An hour ago, she ran into the house, her hair a mess. She carried an armload of groceries into the kitchen and frantically started pulling pots and pans from the cabinets. I asked where she'd been, but she just waved me off and said, "I lost track of time." Then she demanded that I clean the living room.
When Elian knocked, she ran into her bedroom to finish getting ready.
"Oh! Elian." She rested a hand on her chest and gasped, feigning shock. "I didn't even know you were here."
Elian walked over and handed her the sunflowers. "I was going to get a bottle of wine, but I didn't know if you drink. I didn't want to be presumptuous."
"That's so sweet." She rubbed his shoulder before going to put the flowers in a vase that she placed in the center of the table. "They're beautiful. And for the record, I adore wine." She winked.
"I'll keep that in mind for the future."
"I like that, by the way." She pointed to him, then tapped her finger against the inside of her left forearm.
Elian looked down at his arm where he had a simple arrow tattooed from his wrist to the bend of his elbow, as if he'd forgotten. Among the crosshatching in the shaft were the words "Always Move Forward." She wouldn't be able to see them, but I'd been close enough to read it.
"Thanks." Elian said.
I grabbed Elian's hand. "I want to show Elian something real quick. We'll be right back."
"Don't be long; dinner is almost ready. I'm just waiting on the rolls to bake."
I nodded, dragging him down the hall to my room. I tossed the rose on my nightstand and shut the door after he entered. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, fast and messy and full of passion. His hands moved up and down my sides, clutching my hips.
After a long, drawn out kiss, he pushed me away. "If this is the thanks I got for one rose, what the hell would you do if I got a whole dozen?"
I rubbed my hands over his chest, narrowing my eyes at him, hoping the look came off as seductive. "Don't ask questions like that when I can't answer them properly."
He flashed a devious grin. "Are you still coming over after dinner?"
"Do you even have to ask?" I leaned in to kiss his neck, letting my hands wander his body.
Elian sucked in air and clutched the back of my shirt in his fists. "I hate to say this, but you really need to stop."
I pulled back to stare into his hazel eyes, placing my hands against the wall on either side of him. "Maybe we can eat really fast."
He laughed and lifted his hands to hold my face. "You really have no chill, Steven."
"It's hard to have chill when every time I'm around you I feel like I'm gonna burst into flames."
Elian moved in to give me a chaste kiss on the lips. "Let's go before your mom thinks we're doing what we want to be doing in here."
I nodded, stepping back.
As we headed back into the living room, he slipped his hand into mine and laced our fingers together.
I tore my eyes from him to look ahead of me. I froze, my jaw dropping when I saw my mom making out with some dude in our kitchen.
"Mom!" My voice cracked worse than when I was going through puberty.
They jumped apart and fussed with their clothes. Mom wiped at her lips. The man checked to make sure his dress shirt remained tucked into his khaki pants. Mom flipped her hair over her shoulder as the man raked his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair where Mom had been holding it.
"Hi, boys." Mom said, her voice tight. "Dinner's ready."
I stared at the man and then looked at my mother with confusion. I'd never seen her with a man before. She had boyfriends over the years; I knew that much. Occasionally, Cathy or a neighbor would come over and babysit me while she went out. But I'd never actually seen one of them with my own eyes. As far as I was concerned, she was basically a nun. A foul-mouthed nun with a penchant for scratch-offs, lurid romance novels, and white wine.
"Who is he?" I asked.
The man stepped forward, raising his hand. He said, "Raymond West. But you can call me Ray."
I turned my gaze to my mother, who was chewing on her nail. "I'm sorry, honey. I really wanted to talk to you before Ray got here, but I was running so late. Trying to do twenty things. I just forgot. I just really wanted you to meet each other."
Ray finally pulled his hand back and stuffed it in his pocket. "Your mom has told me so much about you."
"Well, you've got me beat on that front, Ray." I snapped, staring daggers. "Since I didn't know you even existed until I found you sucking face with my mom."
Mom walked forward to stand beside Ray. She laid a hand on his arm. "You're twenty-years-old, Steven. Don't act like a child."
Elian gave my hand a squeeze before he stepped forward. He held out his free hand and introduced himself to Ray.
Ray shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Stevie?" Mom eyed me, hopefully.
I couldn't bring myself to release Elian's hand, so I reluctantly raised my other hand. Ray switched hands to shake mine properly. He smiled.
I kept up my stony-faced stoicism. I really didn't care if she was dating someone. What upset me was that she sprung this on me with no warning. Tonight of all nights.
"Everyone can take a seat." Mom said. She went to the stove to grab the pan with the roast.
Ray rushed over. "Let me get that, babe."
My eyes jumped to them. Elian squeezed my hand, drawing my attention to him. He puckered his lips at me and scrunched his nose adorably, which made me grin despite my frustration.
"Thanks." She smiled at Ray. The corners of her eyes wrinkled.
After Ray placed the pan on the table, I noticed a theme among the food. No one would see it but me and Mom. "You made all my favorites."
Mom sat down across from me and smiled. "I wanted to put you in a good mood. Maybe make this go easier." She huffed an unamused laugh. "So much for that."
During dinner, I didn't speak much. I left that to the three of them. Elian did most of the talking, with Mom and Ray asking him questions.
After prompting, he explained that he was from Houston, which he'd mentioned at breakfast on our "first date." He had two siblingsâten-year-old twins that his parents adopted a year ago. He gushed about them for a while, an adoring older brother. I actually found myself smiling a couple times until I looked over at Ray.
"Are you in school?" Mom asked Elian.
"I'm premed at the University of Chicago."
"A doctor, huh?" Ray asked.
"Physical therapist." Elian corrected.
"Why physical therapy?" Ray sounded genuinely interested, which made me dislike him about five percent less.
"I had a friend who got into an accident in high school, and I used to go with her to her appointments to keep her company and offer support. I kinda fell in love with the idea of it. Helping people put their lives back together."
I stared at him. He sounded so passionate. I couldn't believe he'd never mentioned it. "I didn't know that."
"You never asked." Elian shrugged.
The school thing wasn't something I really thought about, since it was never something I wanted to do. The only reason I even considered college was as a means of escape from this town, but I didn't think that was good enough, and I didn't want to take a spot from someone who actually wanted to be there.
I felt terrible that I'd never taken an interest in his life like that. Except for his confession on movie night, we never really talked about real issues. Everything we discussed was so surface level.
I pushed my plate away. "I need some air."
Mom stared at my plate, her brows drawn down. "You barely ate half your food."
"I'm full." I lied. I couldn't stomach the thought of taking another bite. Anger had soured my appetite.
To appease her, so I could get out of there faster, I turned to Ray. "It was nice to meet you."
"You, too."
I headed to the door and slipped out into the cool night air. I took a deep breath, gripping the porch railing until the edges dug into my skin.
Am I selfish? I had spent most of my time with Elian, worried about what I could get out of the relationship. What did he get out of it from me?
As if my thoughts had manifested him, Elian stepped up to stand at my side. I didn't even hear the door open. He placed his hand over mine. "You okay?"
I shrugged.
He moved his hand to my shoulder, turning me to face him. Backlit by the dull yellow glow of the front porch light, he looked exquisite. It created a halo-effect around him. "Do you want to go back inside?"
"No!" I shook my head. "I think I made enough of an ass out of myself in front of that guy."
"He's very nice." Elian said. "And he really seems to like your mom."
"Yeah. I just freaked out. She usually tells me everything, then she kept this a secret for who knows how long."
"Did you not hear them say they've been dating for six months?"
"No." I looked past him, to the door, wondering how I missed that. I guess being self-absorbed, feeling sorry for myself, was how.
"So, you don't want to go back inside. What do you want to do?"
My eyes found his again. They seemed almost golden in this light. "Be anywhere but here."
"Do you want to go to my grandpa's house?" he asked. It occurred to me that he always called it that. Even though I always called it his house, he never did. I guess it wasn't. Not really. It was just a place he stayed.
I shook my head. "I'm not in the mood to do stuff right now."
Elian rubbed my cheek. "Just because we do stuff doesn't mean we have to do it every time we're alone together. There's more to a relationship than making out and having sex. We can just hang out. Veg out in front of the TV. Gorge ourselves on frozen pizza and all that candy we never finished from last night. You hardly ate a bite. Unlike your mom, I actually noticed that you just kept pushing it around your plate."
I swiped at my eyes, where tears were forming. I didn't even know why I was crying.
I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Will you go somewhere with me?"
"Of course." he said, taking out his keys.
I grabbed his hand and gestured to the Jeep. "Mine will be better for this."
He nodded. "I don't want you to drive while you're upset, though."
"That's fine. I can tell you the way."
Elian put his hand on my face and kissed me. It was a brief, simple kiss, but it made a difference.
I pulled away and went to the front door. I cracked it open to grab my keys off the hook right inside. I noticed my mom and Ray still sitting at the table. She laughed and caressed his arm. She looked so happy. That made me feel even worse for how I'd acted. I really was an asshole.
The keys jingled when I picked them up. They both turned at the sound.
Mom stood up and walked toward me, pausing where the laminated tile of the kitchen met the living room carpet. "Are you leaving?"
"Elian and I are going somewhere." I said. "I may stay at his house tonight."
"Okay." She hugged her arms around her abdomen. "Be careful."
I stayed there, frozen for an eternity that probably only lasted three seconds. I pushed inside and walked over to give her a hug. "I love you."
She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed with all her strength. "I love you, too, sweetheart."
"I really do want you to be happy."
She patted my back. "I know, Stevie."
When I broke free, I gave a small wave to Ray. "Good night."
"Good night." He sounded pleasantly surprised.
As I closed the door, I looked back to see Mom and Ray hug, both of them smiling.
Elian waited for me on the porch. I tossed him the keys. "Let's go."