Falling: Chapter 31

Deciding to host Friendsmas is probably the best decision I’ve made all year. When we lived with our parents, we always spent Christmas day together. After spending the morning with our family opening presents, we’d all go over to Gigi’s house and eat as much shit as we could.

The holidays have been hard for Ken because her mom and sister still live in South Carolina while we’re here in Utah. It’s too expensive for her to fly out and too far for her to drive, so last Christmas, it was just us three, and it was perfect.

I always call my parents on Christmas Day, but to Mom, it’s seen as a day off work more than anything special. I had a long call with my dad, wishing me and my girls a Merry Christmas, as well as sending me a new pair of skates and some money. My mom’s “Merry Christmas” came in the form of a three-foot bouquet with an impersonal Christmas card.

We decided to do Secret Santa, which wasn’t very secret since there’s only three of us. We sit down on the living room floor in our Christmas pajamas, which we intend on wearing all day, each with a present in front of us. It’s a stupid tradition, but we’re all terrible at giving each other gifts. Scarlett spoils us too much o n our birthdays with the casual fact that she’s a millionaire, and we didn’t think it was fair, so now we give each other one gift each that we know we’ll like. I honestly wouldn’t need anything from them. Being surrounded by their energy is more than enough for me.

“I wonder who had me,” Kennedy mutters with an eye roll, shaking the box in front of her. I look over at Scarlett, who is beaming. She opens the box and pulls out two hardback books. “Oh my god! Shut the fuck up. Who had me?”

“Doesn’t that take away the whole purpose of Secret Santa?” I ask.

“Okay, so it wasn’t you, you grinch,” Kennedy says, giving me an evil side eye before turning to Scarlett. “How did you get these?”

She holds up two special editions, signed copies of her favorite author Jasmine James’s new novel, which she has been obsessed with all year. They’ve been sold out everywhere, but somehow, she managed to snag two.

“I have my sources.” Scarlett shrugs as Kennedy drools over them. “Now me.”

She picks up her present, which is in a small envelope from me.

I try to hide my smile when she opens it. The anticipation surges through me as she takes out the small, handwritten note.

“To Scarlett,” she reads aloud. “‘Here’s a present that you can use for the next year, and you don’t have to lie about sleeping with the hotel owner to get in.’ Wren! You sneaky motherfucker. How did you do this?”

“I have my sources. Plus, if you keep pretending to get access to the hotel without a real ID, you’re going to get thrown in jail, or worse, your family will find out. Now you can stop lying about it. You can use it for a whole year too,” I explain. She jumps into my arms, and I almost topple over as she suffocates me, pr essing kisses to my cheeks. “Okay, get off me, you animal.”

She giggles, and we pull apart. I get back up into a sitting position and pick up the gift bag in front of me. I know it’s Kennedy who got me this from the process of elimination and the terrible wrapping. I take out the hundreds of tissue papers before digging my hand into the bag and I pull out…

“Batteries?” I ask Ken. She nods and gestures toward the bag for me to keep looking through it. Then my hand finally hits a big box. I pull it out and start laughing.

“What is it?” Scarlett asks from across me, her knee bouncing like a child. I turn the box around so she can see the front of it. Scarlett also bursts into hysterical laughter. “This is the most Wren thing I’ve ever seen. Now I wish that Ken had me.”

“I had to do a lot of research for this. And the week when the Wi-Fi was down, I had to go to the library to search up where I could get a good one. You wouldn’t believe how many times my account got blocked for searching, ‘Where can I buy the best vibrator?’” Kennedy explains.

“Thanks, Ken. You always get the best presents,” I say when my laughter dies down.

“Well, I thought if you’re not going to sleep with Miles, you might as well get some action elsewhere.” She shrugs, and I couldn’t agree more. Having Miles’s fingers inside me was more than enough, and I can’t let myself get that out of control again. I’d rather slowly set my body on fire than let him kiss me again for real.

Miles and his friends arrive soon after. Xavier arrives with a bottle of expensive champagne, and Evan, rich boy of the century, arrives in jeans and a button-down .

And Miles looks fucking sexy.

He’s wearing a dark blue button-down, his shirt sleeves rolled up, giving me the most delicious view of his arms, and black pants. This is the most I’ve seen him dressed up since the event, and if I wasn’t so committed to keeping things friendly between us, I would have told him that. So instead, I just eye fuck him until he walks toward me.

He immediately snakes his hands around my waist and presses a kiss into my neck even though the only person who doesn’t know this is fake is Evan.

“I got something for you,” he whispers into my skin as everyone walks into the living room, where Kennedy is setting up board games.

I take a step back. “Why?”

“Because it’s Christmas,” he says.

“But why?”

“Because it’s Christmas and you’re my girlfriend,” he says, but it still doesn’t make any sense. We never agreed on getting each other gifts, and I sure as fuck didn’t get him anything. “Do you need everything explained to you? You’re a lot smarter than that, Wren.”

I cross my arms against my chest. “Tell me why you got me something.”

“Because I wanted to.”

I don’t say anything else, and he rolls his eyes. He drags me by the arm into the corridor to my bedroom, and when we get inside, his woody cologne clouds my senses as he towers over me, my back pressed against my closed door.

“What are you doing?” I laugh, looking up at him.

He smirks. “Close your eyes.”

I raise one eyebrow slowly. “Why?”

He takes a step back, hiding the small bag that I only just noticed behind him. “Do you trust me, Wren?” I nod because I do. Pr obably more than I should. And I’m excited to find out what he got me. “Then close your eyes.”

I do as he says, all my other senses heightened as I feel him move closer to me. The fresh lavender smell of his soap crowds my mind and my senses as I feel his hand come to the top of my chest where my collar is opened slightly.

My breathing picks up as the tips of his fingers skim the exposed skin on my chest. His touch is so soft and light that it drives me crazy, but I keep my eyes closed as he starts to button down my shirt.

When I feel the cold air of my room hit my stomach, I know the shirt is unbuttoned. This whole ordeal feels insanely intimate, like he’s undressing me to lead to something more when I know he isn’t.

He catches my wrist in his hands and pulls at the sleeves of my shirt, dropping it to the floor. I hear the rustling of tissue paper and then I feel a soft fabric stretch around my head and he pulls my arms through it gently, tugging it down on my stomach. “Can I open my eyes now?”

“Yeah.”

He’s grinning at me with that smug face of his when I open my eyes. I look down at the shirt he pulled over my head. It’s a white shirt, the same one that Miles wore at my showcase with a bright-red heart. Instead, it says, “I ♥️ my boyfriend.” He dusts off my shoulders, holding onto them as he looks down at me.

“Now we can match,” he says.

“This is ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

I can’t control the laugh that escapes me as I look up at him. “It’s perfect. Thank you,” I say, and I can tell how hard I’m blushing. I shift from one foot to the other, feeling irritatingly uneasy under his gaze. “I didn’t get you anything.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, smilin g so hard that lines form on his cheeks. “You didn’t need to. I’m spending the next week alone with you. I think I’ll survive.”

After we finish cooking dinner, we set up a mini buffet on the kitchen island. Everybody lines up, taking a paper plate to save washing dishes, and gets the food they like. We probably made enough food to feed a whole football team, but I know the girls will live off this for the next week while I’m in Palm Springs. I stand at the other side of the island, waiting for everyone to get their food first.

“Save some for the rest of us,” Evan mutters to Scarlett, who’s taken one of the last pieces of bacon in the foil tray. She looks over at him, her face plastered into a fake smile.

“You’re right, sorry,” she says sarcastically before picking up her bacon and shoving it into his mouth. He doesn’t fight back. He lets her shove more into his mouth until he can’t take it anymore. “Do you want some syrup with that?” He shakes his head vigorously, but he smiles behind his full mouth. He smiles? Weird. “Yeah, I thought so.”

I tear my eyes away from them because I’ve never seen two people that crazy before. I’m waiting patiently for the day that whatever is going on between them will eventually bubble over and they’ll become… friends? Or something.

We eat mostly in silence until we’re all so stuffed we spread out in the living room. Everything feels so natural here, like we were all made to be friends in some weird way. Evan and Xavier lie out on opposite ends of the couch while Kennedy sits in her beanbag with Scarlett’s head in her lap. Miles and I sit on the smaller couch, my head resting on his shoulder as his fingers draw lines up and down my arm.

I knew that moving into this apartment with my girls would make this place feel like a home, but now, it feels even better. As if the word “home” is screaming off the walls at full volume. I look around at everyone, and it just feels perfect.

Home.

“So, what did you guys get for Christmas?” Xavier asks. Evan sits up with a smug grin on his face. “Not you, Branson. Nobody wants to hear about what car Daddy bought you.”

Evan slouches back down, and I giggle, feeling the champagne running through my body.

“You guys did Secret Santa, right?” Miles asks, and we all hum in agreement.

“I got these books from Scarlett,” Kennedy beams, holding up her new prized possessions. I know she’s not going to shut up about this until Jasmine’s new book comes out.

“I got an all-inclusive access to my favorite hotel from Wren and Daddy Hacks,” Scarlett says proudly, flashing a toothy smile at me. “If you’re lucky, Miles, maybe she’ll sugar momma you too.”

Everyone bursts out laughing at her remark, and I stick my tongue out at her. I keep quiet. Saying what I got in front of these boys might be the stupidest thing I could do, so I keep my mouth shut.

“What about you, Wren?” Xavier asks when the laughter has died down.

“What about me?”

Evan’s eyebrows raise. “What did you get?”

“Uh, nothing,” I reply, cheerfully.

Xavier and Evan look at me confused, and I swallow, looking around the room as I try to find something that I can say to change the subject. It’s too late to rush off and pretend the food’s burning. Miles rubs my shoulder, turning to look at me.

“I know my gift is pretty killer, but I don’t believe that none of your friends got you something,” Miles says, his eyes narrowing at me. I shake my head, bite my lip, and look away.

“I got her a vibrator. The best one in town,” Kennedy says, and I shoot her an evil look along with Scarlett. “What? She was too scared to say it. A woman’s pleasure should not be an embarrassing topic.”

“You two having trouble in the bedroom, Davis?” Evan asks, laughing.

Miles ignores him, and the conversation around us moves on, but Miles’s grip on my arm tightens. It’s better that he didn’t say anything. It’s better that I didn’t say anything.

What would he say?

No, she fucks like a god, or Yeah, finger fucked her once and we’ve not spoken about it because she’s too scared for this to get real.

I feel him bring his mouth closer to my ear, his breath tickling my neck.

“Are you trying to make me jealous, or are you just trying to turn me on even more? Either way, it’s working,” he whispers, and my breath gets caught in my throat, and I end up coughing like a maniac.

Luckily, I’m saved by Evan of all people.

“Let’s play truth or dare,” he suggests.

Scarlett scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Are we in middle school?”

“I never said it was going to be PG,” Evan argues. She raises her eyebrows at him, sitting up out of Kennedy’s lap. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Scarlett responds, holding his stare. The energy between them is lethal, and I’d do just about anything to put out this fire.

“Where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?”

Kennedy and I exchange knowing glances. Kennedy clears her throat, attempting to smother her laugh while Scarlett gives her a wicked grin before turning back to Evan.

“In public or in general? Or both?” Scarlett asks innocently.

“Let’s go with both.”

“Our business class. A few weeks ago.

”

Evan practically chokes on air while Kennedy and I finally burst out laughing. Miles lets out a “Jesus Christ” under his breath while Xavier’s mouth hangs open. Scarlett’s sexual pursuits have always been a topic of conversation between us, and as long as she’s safe, I love this for her.

“I’m afraid to ask, but were there people in there?” Xavier asks, grimacing.

“No. Well, I don’t think so anyway. It was pretty dark,” Scarlett answers with a shrug.

“With who?” Evan asks when he gets his voice back.

His face is unreadable. It’s hard to tell whether he’s angry, dissatisfied, turned on, or all three. You could cut the tension between them with a knife, and I’m this close to whipping one out to see if I could. They’re way more alike than either one of them wants to admit.

“That’s for me to know and you to never find out,” Scarlett says, tapping her nose.

“Okay, moving on,” Evan drags out, turning toward me and Miles. “Wren, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss the hottest guy in the room,” Evan says with an evil smile. I’m beginning to think he just enjoys stirring shit up. Before I can retort, Kennedy butts in again.

“God, if you want someone to kiss you so badly, just say it. You’re starting to sound desperate,” she says with a groan.

“I’m not. I just want her to do what you’ve all been dying to since I got in here,” Evan drawls. I feel Miles shift beneath me, his grip on my shoulder tightening again. “You could at least make it interesting.”

Evan’s a good-looking guy, but there is no way I’m going to kiss him.

“Well, obviously, it’s not you, Evan. And sorry, Xavier, it’s not you either. I love Michelle too much to do that,” I say, and he shrugs happily. I move out of Miles’s grip as I scramble on top of him, s traddling him in my new favorite shirt and Christmas shorts.

“Uh, hi?”

“Hi,” I whisper back, smiling at him before my fingers snake into the back of his head, pushing it gently onto the headrest and my mouth covers his.

It’s the kind of release I’ve needed since he last had his hands on me. It’s slow at first and patient, our mouths getting used to the sensation again. His hands instinctively grip my hips, pushing me further into him until my front is flush against his hard chest.

I let myself drown in him, letting his lips fight over mine. Everything around us blurs when his tongue slips into my mouth, and I whimper.

I’m surprised I don’t explode into oblivion when his hands slip under my shirt, wrapping around my back. His warmth seems to seep into my bones, and I want to feel like this forever. I bite on his lip as I pull away from him, leaving the both of us panting.

I stay straddled on him, his hands still under my shirt when I turn back to the rest of them.

“God, he said kiss, not whatever that was,” Xavier says, retching. This is why we work well together. Xavier is the voice of rationality.

“You get what you wanted, Evan?” Miles asks, his voice breathy from behind me. He bites my collarbone gently; his eyes connect with Evan across the room.

“You guys are so boring. You didn’t have to choose him just because he’s your boyfriend,” Evan whines. I climb off Miles and try to ignore the throbbing I feel between my legs as I sit beside him, nuzzling my face into his shoulder.

“Even if he wasn’t, I still would have,” I whisper, only loud enough for Miles to hear.

They continue to play truth or dare while I slip away into the kitchen, cleaning up some of the plates and dishes that we ended up using.

Today has been another perfect day. Our friendship groups are so different that they make so much sense, and I couldn’t think of anything more special. I might not get to spend the holidays with my family, but having my friends to celebrate it with feels even better.

I’m putting dirty dishes into the sink when Miles comes through from the living room. He doesn’t say anything. He just stands beside me, waiting for me to wash the plates, then he dries them.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asks in the midst of the comfortable silence.

“What?”

“Earlier. About you wanting to kiss me even if we weren’t together.”

I shrug. “You’re not a horrible kisser.” That doesn’t get the reaction I wanted. I thought he’d laugh and say something flirty, but he just groans. “What? Are you annoyed?”

“No,” he says with a slight edge to his voice. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess I’m a little frustrated because you know how badly I want you. How badly I’ve wanted you since the beginning. But whenever I try to make a move, you run away. Like you did the morning after the game.”

“I didn’t run away. I stayed with you.”

“If I wasn’t in pain, would you have stayed?”

I blink at him because the truth is, I don’t know if I would have. If I didn’t know how badly he needed someone to be there for him after we fooled around, I probably would have thought of some excuse to get out of there.

“That’s different,” is what I end up whispering .

“Is it?” I open my mouth to speak, but I’m interrupted by Xavier, Evan, and Scarlett walking into the kitchen. The boys look absolutely fucked. I don’t know when everybody got so drunk, but I was focusing on pacing myself.

“If you’re staying, Miles, I’m going to drive these two home,” Scarlett groans, patting Xavier on the chest. He makes a strange noise from the back of his throat. “You guys gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” I reply. I look up to Miles, but he’s not looking at me. Panic settles in me like a stomachache festering in my abdomen.

“Actually, I’m going to go too,” Miles says, walking away to get his jacket. Scarlett nods as she opens the door. I walk toward him, trying to reach for his hand, but he pulls it away.

“Miles,” I say. He turns around to me, his expression unreadable. “You’re still picking me up tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.” He shuffles closer toward me and kisses me on my forehead. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

I sigh, the nickname running through me like water. “Merry Christmas, Miles.”