Falling: Chapter 45

Although my skating season is over, Miles has his final game against Carlton University in a few days, and his schedule is packed. I know what he’s like before a game, so I do my best to support him the best I can while also giving him enough time to be on his own. It works out perfectly with both of our sc hedules and the end-of-year exams that are coming up. It also means I get to spend more time with my girls.

Without skating every day, I’ve had more time to work on my novel, Stolen Kingdom. I’ve had hundreds of late-night FaceTime calls with Gigi, and we’ve been working together so I can get through the first draft of the book. I know how busy she is with her own stories, so I’m so grateful that she’s taken the time to help me out with mine.

I’ve managed to write another thirty thousand words of Stolen Kingdom over the last month, which is a hell of a lot more than I was doing monthly before. Now, I spend lunches in between classes with Kennedy and Scarlett at Florentino’s, reading over the latest chapter. I don’t know how Kennedy is not sick of being here all the time when she still works here most days. We use half an hour of our one-hour window talking over major plot lines and the other half trying to study. Emphasis on the word trying. We have exams coming up, but our priorities are very clear.

“You can’t end it like that!” Kennedy shouts, almost knocking over her coffee. A few people turn their heads and flash us a dirty look. We should probably be banned from eating here.

“I’m not ending it like that. It’s just a draft of the ending. It could change,” I say, taking a bite of my scone. “I am open to suggestions.”

“The only logical ending is that Carmen runs away and starts a new empire,” Scarlett suggests with a shrug.

“Yes, that sounds better than her dying,” Kennedy says dramatically. “Wait, you’re making a sequel, right? Please tell me you’re making a sequel.”

“I’m thinking about it. I need to focus on real work for class instead of this. It’s not like I’m going to get it published,” I admit.

“You could. I’ll design a cover, and you can self-publish like Gigi, ” Kennedy replies, almost falling out of her chair as her eyes widen. “Thirteen-year-olds would eat that shit up.”

“It’s a possibility, but it’s also a lot of work.”

“Since when are you afraid of hard work?” Scarlett asks, wiggling her eyebrows. “Maybe not now, but I really think you should in the future. With a bit of editing, it would be perfect. I’m sure G would help you.”

“Maybe,” I say, trying to mentally add that onto my thousand-word long to-do list. “Anyway, I’m thinking of making Carmen fake her death and then run away to start a new empire.”

“I hate that idea a little less,” Kennedy says thoughtfully before her face lights up again. “Will she have a sidekick?”

“I’m thinking that Vita will go with her,” I reply.

“Isn’t she, like, a million years old?” Kennedy asks, flicking through the printed sheets of my book in front of her.

“Yeah, but she’s in a middle-aged woman’s body. She’s basically a Cullen,” I say with a waft on my hand.

“Oh, that’s cool,” Kennedy agrees, nodding her head. “I give you permission to end it that way.”

“Why, thank you,” I reply, nodding my head toward her. Scarlett pulls the paper out of Kennedy’s hand and looks over it with a serious expression. They are both my harshest writing critics, but Scarlett looks more at the intricate details than anything. Kennedy just worried about how hot the protagonist is going to be.

“So, talking about boys…” Kennedy drags out with a whistle.

“We weren’t,” I say with a bored tone. She ignores it anyway.

“How are you and Milesy?”

I raise my chin. “How are you and Harry?”

She’s been spending a lot of time with Miles’s teammate, and anytime I bring it up, she denies that anything is going on. Apparently, they’re just really good friends, but I’m finding that hard t o believe. He looks at her like she hung the fucking moon, and she looks at him the same way.

“Fine,” she says, sighing, “Let’s not talk about boys.”

So we don’t. We spend the rest of Kennedy’s lunch break talking about books and the fictional boyfriends we wish we had. I can’t complain much though. I think Miles Davis is even better than all of them.

After my classes are done, instead of going back to the library with them to study, I have to put on my best face and meet up with my sister.

I’ve been putting it off for weeks, but it’s about time. I can only imagine how isolating this experience is for her being pregnant and not really having anyone to talk to. I don’t know what the situation is with her and my mom at the minute, but I know my dad said he’s excited for her. He passed on the news to me that she’s having a boy, and I’ve been secretly buying clothes whenever I see them. She’s due within the next few weeks and I don’t want the first time I see her after what happened to be when she’s had the baby.

We’ve never had any babies in our family, and we’re so disconnected that I might just have not realized. I think kids are adorable and probably the funniest part of our world, and I’ve always wanted a younger sibling. The thought of having a nephew to spoil makes my heart swell. As uptight as Austin can be, I know she and Zion will make great parents. Zion has always been kind to me, and even though we don’t have much of a relationship like we did when he still lived here, I know he’s doing everything he can to make sure she’s comfortable and happy.

I nervously adjust the silverware for the third time, my fingers tracing the patterns on the napkin. The cozy, softly lit bistro feels strangely foreign despite its familiar surroundings. I check my phone again, hoping for a distraction, when I hear the soft chime of the doorbell and see Austin step inside.

She spots me almost immediately and offers a tentative smile as she approaches the table. My heart races, a mix of anticipation and apprehension churning within me. This pregnancy has really done wonders for her. She’s practically glowing as she walks with one hand on her bump, which has gotten impossibly larger since the last time I saw her.

As she takes a seat across from me, I can’t help but notice the exhaustion etched into her features, the way her eyes seem heavier, and I already start to feel bad.

“Hey,” she says softly, her voice tinged with nervousness.

“Hey,” I reply, trying to muster a smile.

For a moment, we sit in an awkward silence, both unsure of how to breach the gap that has grown between us. A server comes to take our orders, and we’re left in another round of silence. It shouldn’t be so hard to talk to her. She’s my sister for God’s sake.

Finally, Austin takes a deep breath, her hands fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth.

“I’m sorry, Wren,” she begins, her voice trembling. Okay. I guess we’re jumping right into this. “I should have stood up for you that day. I was just… so scared. Mom, she has this way of getting into your head, making you doubt everything. But that’s not an excuse. I let you down when you needed me the most.”

I feel a lump form in my throat, but I swallow it down, nodding slowly. “I get it. She’s done the same thing to me for years. But it hurts, you know? It hurt feeling like I was alone when you were right there.”

“I know,” Austin says, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. I really hope she doesn’t cry because then there’ll be no stopping my own tears. “And I hate that I made you feel that way. I want to make it right.” She takes in another deep breath, her eyes meetin g mine. “I’m staying in town for a while. For the baby. Zion’s parents are here, and it makes more sense than going back to Russia. I’ve had some good days with the company, and maybe in a few years I’ll get back into ballet, but for now, I just want to settle down. I want to be here for you, for us, and for the baby. I want to have a better relationship with you, if you’ll let me.”

My heart skips a beat at the revelation. I didn’t know that Austin was planning to stay. I hadn’t even considered that we might have a chance to rebuild our relationship. It’s been years since we’ve both been in the same country, and now, she’s just going to be here. “You’re staying?” I echo, the words feeling strange on my tongue.

Austin nods. “Yeah. I realized I can’t keep running from everything. I need to face it, to be there for my child when he comes, and for you. I want us to be a family, Wren. A real one, not the broken mess we grew up with.”

My eyes well up with tears, a mix of relief and hope flooding my system. “I want that too, Austin. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

We share a tentative smile, the first genuine one in what feels like forever. The server comes with our orders, and we eat mostly in silence. I talk a little about Miles since he’s been the only thing on my mind lately and how excited I am for his game. She tells me about the baby name options she and Zion have been trying out, but they’re not sure yet.

It’s only after we’ve eaten that Austin broaches the subject that has been looming over us.

“So, what are you going to do about Mom?” she asks, her voice gentle but probing.

I sigh, picking at my nearly empty plate. “I don’t know. Part of me wants to cut her off completely, to protect myself from her toxicity. But another part of me can’t shake the hope that maybe, just maybe, she could change.

”

Austin reaches across the table, taking my hand in hers. “She might never change, Wren, and you need to know that. She’s been this way for so long. But you don’t have to make a decision right now. Take your time. Do what feels right for you.”

I nod, appreciating the support. “I’ve been thinking about talking to her, setting some boundaries. I need to make it clear that I won’t tolerate her manipulations anymore. If she can’t respect that, then… I’ll have to figure out what to do from there.”

Austin smiles. “I think that’s a good idea. I’ve got your back, okay, Wrenny?”

“Okay.”

Things definitely won’t be perfect for a while, but slowly mending this relationship with my sister is finally a step in the right direction. I want this with her. I want my big sister back, who I used to look up to, the one who would always protect me. And maybe we can find our way back to each other. For now, that hope is enough.

After dinner, everything feels weirdly normal. Like hanging out with Austin is just a casual thing that we do. As kids, I’d kill to have one-and-one time with her. We’d always be at our respective dance classes, or she’d be away for recitals. Now, it feels like that separation between us never existed.

The apartment that she and Zion are renting is a thirty-minute walk from here, but Austin insisted on walking. She’s got her arm slung in mine, the other holding onto her bump as we take slow steps on the sidewalk.

“I think this baby is trying to kill me,” she mumbles.

I laugh. “I’m pretty sure all kids are like that.”

She flashes me a glance. “No, Wren, at my last scan the doctor told me that he’s huge.”

That makes me laugh again. It’s so weird seeing her pregnant. She’s always been thin and a little frail because of how seriously she takes ballet and seeing her with this massive bump is a w eird adjustment. I spot a bench a few steps ahead of us and ask, “Do you want to sit down for a minute?”

She shakes her head. “I’ve put my body through hell since I was five. I’m sure I can manage a few more minutes of walking. We’re close by, right?”

“I can still see the restaurant sign, so no,” I say, grimacing.

“Seriously?” she groans, turning back and we’re not even a block away from where we just ate. “Pregnancy brain is the worst.”

We continue walking for another five minutes before she needs to stop again. Honestly, I don’t mind all the stopping and starting. I’m just glad we’re in the same place at the same time. When we get going again, she grips my arm a little tighter than before and stands still.

Her eyes widen, and she looks at me with panic. “I think my water just broke.”

“Your what?” I blurt out, glancing down at her leg.

“My water! You know, the thing keeping this baby inside me. Either that or I just peed myself really bad,” she says, glancing down to the wet stain on her dungarees. “Nope. Definitely baby goo water.”

My heart starts racing and I have no fucking idea what to do. She must register the confusion on my face because she hands me her phone, leaning against the wall. “Call an ambulance and then call Zion. This baby is not waiting for anyone.”

I have no clue how long this process is supposed to last, but I’ve been pacing the hallway of the hospital for the last two hours. We managed to get here in one piece and Austin got hooked up to all these machines just as Zion walked in. She screamed at me the entire time we were in the ambulance, but just as they wheeled her through the doors she shouted, “I didn’t mean a ny of that. I love you, sis.” And I think it might have been the sweetest thing she’s ever said to me. The doctors taken her in for an emergency C-section because of the way the baby is positioned, and my mind won’t stop telling me the hundreds of things that could go wrong.

I called my mom to let her know, and she said she was too busy to come down now and will come to visit when the baby is here. I don’t know what I was expecting from her, but I’m pissed on Austin’s behalf. My dad was able to make it so he’s sitting in the waiting room chatting with Miles and the girls.

“Wrenny, baby, can you sit down? You’re making me dizzy,” Miles says, rubbing his eyes dramatically. I stop in front of him and heave out a sigh. He was in the middle of an evening practice when I called him, and he got here just before Zion did. I didn’t exactly want my boyfriend to meet my sister whilst she was in labor, but I guess the world doesn’t always work out in my favor.

“What if something goes wrong?” I ask for the thousandth time.

“She’s in a room full of trained professionals. She’ll be okay,” my dad says, laughing quietly. “They do this every day.”

“Do you think she’s scared? What if she’s scared?” I whisper, finally taking a seat between Kennedy and Miles. Miles rubs my knee reassuringly, the pressure of his hand soothing me for a second. “I just want everything to go okay.”

“And it will,” Miles says, dropping his head to my shoulder. “We just have to be patient.”

Of course he’s right. It’s not long before Zion walks through the doors to tell us that the baby is here, and that Austin is doing well. I swear my heart triples in size when we all walk into the room and she’s sitting with the gorgeous baby boy in her arms.

We let my dad walk in first and he immediately starts crying. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to see your little girl have a kid of her own. I watch them have their moment and it suddenly makes me excited to be in her position one day. To be able to hold a child that I created in my arms and instantly fall in love. My dad steps out the room to compose himself and Miles and I shuffle closer to get a better look.

He’s got golden brown skin, lots of curly hair and the cutest little face. “He’s perfect,” I whisper, smiling at my sister and then to Zion. “The perfect mix of both of you.”

“I’m hoping he gets your sister’s talent. I’ve not got much to offer,” Zion says, laughing quietly.

Austin frowns at him. “You’re spectacular, babe. He’ll probably have your brains. He’ll be able to read before he can even walk.”

“We can only hope,” he replies, kissing my sister on the forehead. “Wren, do you want to hold him?”

“Seriously? Already? Isn’t there like rules about when you can hold babies? He’s quite literally fresh out of the womb. I don’t want to break him,” I ramble, my hands shaking. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I don’t get to be around kids much, but this one is already extra special. I can feel it. And I don’t want to give him my bad luck.

“Just sit and hold your nephew, Amelia,” Austin snaps and I listen. Zion walks around the bed, picking up the baby and placing him in my arms as I sit in the chair next to the bed. An overwhelming feeling washes over me when I look down at him as he sleeps. I didn’t think my heart could get any fuller, but it can, and it is. It’s like my heart is being bumped with helium and at any moment I could float away.

I don’t know when I started crying, but my tears fall onto his baby blanket, and I tilt my head back. “He’s so cute and perfect and sweet, and I just want to love and protect him forever,” I sob.

“Jesus. Are you crying?” Austin asks, her eyes widened with panic.

I just sniffle and Miles comes beside me. “You and your cute baby m ade my girlfriend cry. Awesome,” he deadpans, and everyone laughs.

Miles looks down at me and I try to stop myself from crying again, but there’s no use. I have the strongest urge to let him put a baby inside me. I want it to be all him. All his good parts, all his bad parts. Because I’m convinced this man is the most perfect person on the planet. “I really want a baby,” I wail, sounding and feeling ridiculous. “Can we have one?”

“In a couple years, sure. We can have as many kids as you want,” he says. I watch the look my sister gives him, and he clears his throat. He kneels to my height and whispers, “But right now, I kinda want you all to myself.”

I sniffle again. “Yeah?”

He grins. “Yeah. Just me and you, sweet girl.”

I like the sound of that.

I like the idea that my sister gets a fresh start with her new family even more. And the fact that my family are all in this hospital right now makes me feel a thousand times better. These people are all I’m going to need forever.