Chapter 38: Bide: Chapter 35

Okay, so maybe I like the fucking horse.

He’s kind of hard not to like. Like a puppy. A very overgrown puppy. A gentle giant. Despite my adamance that horse-riding is not for me, Jackson somehow managed to coax me back up there. I blame that smile; when he bears those pearly whites at you, it’s impossible to say no.

Anyway, I got back up on the horse and it was like Clyde knew how much pain he caused me. The whole trail ride, he ambled gently along like he was making an effort not to jostle me. When his equine friends sped up, he ignored them and continued his slow plod. He kept tossing his head to the side, as though he was glancing over one massive shoulder and checking on me. And when we returned back to the barn and I slid off him, grimacing as my sore feet hit the solid ground and my thighs screamed, Clyde stuck to my side like he was holding me up, his mouth nuzzling my shoulder.

He still scares the ever-loving shit out of me but he’s growing on me. I’m a little resentful that it took less than a weekend for him to break me like a little sappy bitch but whatever.

Clyde likes me too, Jackson said so himself. Apparently, the big guy is not easy to win over, what with his history and all. But the beast whinnies something fierce and stomps around in his stall every time I enter the barn, which I took as code for ‘I want to murder her’ but Jackson claims means the opposite.

He also claims I’ve found my soulmate in horse form; inscrutable, a little bratty, and needy as hell. He got kicked in the shins for that one. By me, not the horse.

Although, if Clyde is as enamored as Jackson claims, maybe I could arrange that.

Today has been good. Better than yesterday, sibling wise. Grace and Eliza have fully given themselves over to the Luna agenda, and any lingering awkwardness or animosity that may have existed yesterday between us has completely dissipated.

Lux hasn’t exactly gone out of her way to be nice to me, but she hasn’t purposely been mean either. She’s been civil. Tolerant. Just like I asked her to be but I’m still a little disappointed; I didn’t expect us to crack open a bottle of wine and braid each other’s hair or anything but… I don’t know. An actual conversation would’ve been nice.

Still, it’s better than the current situation with Lottie, although that’s not exactly hard. I probably shouldn’t have ratted her out but what can I say? Petty bitches bring out the kindred petty bitch in me. And I didn’t exactly want to return the trust Jackson’s shown in bringing me here by lying to his face and pretending nothing happened.

Jackson didn’t explicitly tell me that he had a talk with Lottie, but I can assume as much. It’s the only reason I can think of why a teenage girl would be spending her Saturday mucking out stalls, surrounded by shit, while the rest of us have a relatively relaxed day. Maybe I’d have it in me to feel guilty if the little shit’s words from last night weren’t still floating around my head, or if she didn’t keep shooting me murderous looks every time I wander into her line of sight.

Her scowl burns into the back of my head as I make my way into the house, fucking dying to clean myself up a little after a morning spent on top of a horse and helping out around the ranch. It’s amazing how fucking dirty you get here. I swear I’ve barely done anything yet there’s dirt under my nails, on my face, in my hair, caking my boots.

Leaving the dirty boots on the porch, I pad inside the house on socked feet. Everyone else is still outside so I take a moment to just admire the place. I really, really like this house. It kind of reminds me of Ma’s place, way more expensive but just as chaotic.

Jackson’s artwork is everywhere, and some of Eliza’s too; one of the many things I learned in the last day or so is that Eliza is a little art nut too, just as talented as her brother. The fridge is covered in a myriad of post-it notes and schedules and permission slips to sign. Homework is strewn across the kitchen table. I almost trip over a stray soccer ball more than once. Thrown over the back of the sofa are a bunch of wooly blankets that are softer than anything I’ve ever felt in my life; shocked doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion I felt when I learned Lottie was the one to knit those.

The spawn of Satan is a knitter. You learn something new every day.

I’m washing the morning’s grime off my hands when a picture on the windowsill catches my eyes. A complete family picture, the only one of its kind in this house, as far as I’ve seen. All five of the Jackson kids—Eliza is just a lump in Jackson’s arms—and four adults I’m guessing are their parents—God, Lux is her mom’s double—and grandparents.

Everyone looks fucking miserable. The whole photo reeks of tension, so immensely different from every other picture around the house.

“It’s for show.” I jump at the sound of Lux’s voice, spinning around just as the screen door slams shut behind her. She’s staring at the photo too, a slightly pained expression on her face. With a strained sigh, she tears her gaze away from the photo and trains it on me. “Our grandmother pitched a fit about there not being any family pictures so we put that up just to pacify her.”

I back up a step, resisting the urge to hold my hands up in the air like a thief trying to prove their innocence. “I didn’t mean to snoop.”

Lux shrugs. “You weren’t. Not like it’s hidden away.” Tossing me a dish towel for my wet hands, Lux gently nudges me aside, flicking on the sink to rinse her own hands. “It’s awful, right?”

“What?”

“The picture.” A grimace twists her face. “We look ridiculous.”

“You look sad.”

“Observant.”

“For a dumb blonde?” I wince as the sarcastic words leave my mouth before I can stop them. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Lux takes the dish towel from my hands. “For the record, I never called you that. I would never.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

Lux doesn’t reply. Leaning around me, she simultaneously flicks the kettle on and reaches into the cupboard above us to retrieve a couple of mugs. “You want coffee?”

“No, thanks. I don’t drink coffee.”

“Shit, yeah. Tea, right? We’re not big tea people around here but I bought a box in case you wanted some.”

A little surprised that the tea I drank last night was her doing, I offer her a smile. “I found it. Thanks.”

Lux nods as she potters around the kitchen, pulling out stuff for lunch, and I excuse myself, making my escape to Jackson’s room. I don’t make it far though before Lux stops me. “You wanna help?”

I hesitate for a moment, briefly contemplating saying no just to be petty. I quickly decide against that idea and nod, cautiously moving to stand beside her. “I feel like I need to warn you though, my mom nicknamed me Fire Hazard when I was five.”

Lux shoots me an amused look. “Five?”

“I was very advanced.”

She chuckles softly as she points me towards a chopping board and sets me to work slicing tomatoes. We work in silence, the only sound the hissing of the bacon Lux is frying. Might not be too friendly but the girl can cook. I’m still drooling over dinner last night, only aided by the sight of Lux slathering butter on thick slices of homemade bread and toasting them off.

She hands me lettuce to rinse off and I do so dutifully, my gaze drifting out the window to where Jackson, Eliza and Grace are messing around outside. A smile tugs at my lips as I watch him grab a sister under each arm and whirl them around, the girls’ squeals wafting inside.

“You want me to get them?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder at Lux and finding her already staring at me.

“No. I…” She shifts, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I was having a bad day, I took it out on you, and I shouldn’t have done that.”

Lux pauses briefly, breathing deep before continuing. “I love my brother. He’s my best friend but I have to share him a lot, and the little piece of him I get just got smaller. I didn’t handle it well and I’m sorry.”

Well, damn. I wasn’t expecting that. “I appreciate the apology,” I say slowly, receiving a brisk nod in reply. “For what it’s worth, I get it. You’re just looking out for him.”

“He’s spent his entire life protecting us,” Lux confirms what I already suspected. “Figure the least I can do is return the favor.”

Before I can reply, the front door creaks open again and Jackson strides in, starting to call my name but trailing off when his gaze lands on me. He freezes in the doorway. Brown eyes dart frantically between me and his sister, body tense like he’s bracing for the worst. “All good?”

Smiling, Lux knocks her elbow against mine, subtly rolling her eyes at Jackson’s display. “All good. Luna’s just helping me make lunch.”

Weirdly, her soothing words do nothing to minimize Jackson’s alarm. Instead, it increases as his frantic gaze bounces around the kitchen, checking for damage. “Please tell me you didn’t let her anywhere near the stove.”

A weekend is all it takes for me to fall in love with Serenity Ranch.

There’s something about this place. It’s so… peaceful. Clean. Quiet. I feel like I can actually hear myself think for once.

I could do without the occasional waft of horse shit but otherwise, perfection.

Another thing that’s perfect?

My boyfriend.

I would probably be content to sit on the porch watching him muck around all day. One, because him messing with his sisters is fucking adorable. Two, because for the love of God, . They’re definitely coming home with us. There’s no chance that I’m leaving those babies here to collect dust.

As though sensing me watching him, Jackson turns my way, eyes locking with mine and lips tipping up in a smile. I stand as he breaks into a jog towards me, letting out a whistle that makes me laugh and blush simultaneously. At his prompting, I do a spin, my skirt flaring out around me, and he whistles again as he gets an eyeful of bare thigh. One hand lands on my waist and tugs me towards him. The other pinches the hem of my skirt, rubbing the soft material between his fingers. “Ready?”

I have no idea what I’m supposed to be ready for—I just got orders to be waiting at a certain time—but I nod.

Showering me with words and looks of approval, Jackson tugs me towards the battered old truck parked outside the barn. We pass Lux on the way, who tosses him keys and a warning look. “Please bring her back in one piece.”

The in question? The truck Lux bestows an affectionate pat upon as Jackson opens up the passenger door. “I will,” he promises, kissing his sister’s cheek and ushering me inside the truck at the same time. “Don’t wait up.”

As Lux and the ranch recede in the rearview mirror, I turn to my chauffeur. “So, where are we going that we can’t take your truck?”

“Some of the roads around here are a little rough. This one can take the beating better.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

He shoots me a boyish smile. “I know.”

I learn very quickly that he was right about the roads. If you can even call them that. They’re more like organized trails of dirt. Overgrown, rocky trails of dirt that rattle us around mercilessly.

But the view is so worth it. Wherever he’s taking me, the route is scenic as fuck. Sun on the verge of setting casts a golden light over everything, glinting through gaps in the trees towering on either side of us. I get a sense of deja vu as we drive, reminded of our first date. This time, though, when we steer away from the treeline and exit into a clearing, there’s no movie screen waiting for us. No, there’s better.

We emerge onto some kind of viewing point, a rocky outcrop jutting out over miles of lush land. A small gasp leaves me as I sit straighter in my seat, leaning forward slightly so I can get a better look at the view stretched out before me. “Where the hell are we?”

“The border between Serenity Ranch and the national park.” Jackson glances at me, amusement lighting up his face. “Pretty, isn’t it?”

I snort. Pretty doesn’t quite begin to cover it. Fucking beautiful. Idyllic, lush, picturesque, all those words and more. Green, so green. Ridiculously green. And vivid, like a painting. God, it almost hurts my eyes.

Not for the first time, I wish that I was an artist like my mom or Jackson just so I could view this place the way they do, so I could go home and recreate the scene before me with nothing but my mind as a reference, like I know Jackson will probably do. He’ll probably stay up all night perfecting it, and wake up tomorrow covered in green paint that always manages to transfer onto me.

I’m so entranced that I don’t even notice we’re moving until the view is ripped away from me as Jackson throws the truck in reverse and swings around. “Hey!”

“Wait a sec.” He laughs at my impatience. Putting the truck in park, he gets out and circles around to open my door and hoist me out. Once again, he’s pulled out one of his bed of the truck tricks; a familiar stack of blankets and an array of snacks wait for us as we clamber up. We have actual food this time, presumably cooked by Lux. I crack open one of the thermos’ tucked into a carrier bag and get a whiff of tea, the other one letting out the delicious aroma of hot chocolate.

It’s weird how after everything he’s done for me, I still get overwhelmed. I’m still surprised when he does something nice, when he makes an effort, when he remembers little things like the fact that I fucking like tea. I don’t know if that’s something I’ll ever get used to, being cherished. I’ll try though.

His choice of activity for tonight also surprises me. When he said date night, I assumed a restaurant, maybe a movie. “Not that I don’t love it,” I start as I sit cross-legged in the bed of the truck, accepting the blanket Jackson tosses at me. “But why’d you bring me here?”

“It’s my favorite place on the ranch,” he explains simply. “The girls don’t come up here because the drive is shit. It’s kind of the only place that feels like mine, you know?”

I don’t know because I don’t think I have a place like that but I nod anyways.

“I used to come up here when it all got too much and I just needed a break from everyone.”

My heart cracks a little imagining a younger Jackson trekking up here all on his own just to get a little peace. Looking out over the expanse of green, I rest my head on his shoulder. “I love it.”

Lips brush my temple. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I swear to God, the entire world freezes.

I didn’t mean to say it. It just… slipped out. Naturally. Comfortably. So quietly that for a second, I’m not sure Jackson heard. I’m not sure it actually came out. For the longest moment of my life, he doesn’t react, further reaffirming my suspicions that I said those three little words in my head. That I said them and meant them for the very first time and it didn’t actually happen.

But then he breaks out into a smile that rivals the view and before I know it, I’m in his lap and he’s kissing the life out of me, hard and claiming, leaving me gasping for air when he pulls away. “Took you long enough to figure it out.”