Film woke up before the sun had even risen, a strange heaviness pressing down on her chest. Her eyes fluttered open, the fog of sleep still lingering, making it hard to process the world around her. As the first rays of light crept in through the window, she noticed the blanket carefully draped over her, and the realization hit her like a sudden joltâNamtan had been here. Namtan had taken care of her, had tucked her in while she slept, likely in the dead of night. The thought made her chest tighten with an unsettling mix of emotions, and she couldn't quite name what was churning inside her.
The cat, still sprawled across her side, shifted slightly but didn't wake. Film smiled faintly, the quiet affection for the creature almost enough to soothe her for a moment. But the weight of everything that had happened between her and Namtan the day before felt almost unbearable now. It wasn't just the kissâit was everything that had led to that moment, everything that was now hanging between them like an unresolved, heavy truth.
Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation she'd had with her manager the night before. It had been short, but heavy with meaning. A renowned producer had reached out, hoping to cast her in the adaptation of a book series she'd loved for years. It was a dream role. Film had read the books over and over, and for as long as she could remember, she'd fantasized about being a part of bringing that world to life on screen. When she received the call, her heart had raced with excitement. It was everything she'd ever wantedâeverything she'd worked so hard for.
But that excitement quickly soured when the reality of her situation sank in. Namtan. The name hung in her mind, refusing to be ignored. They were supposed to talk last nightâshe was sure of it. But she had fallen asleep, likely because she hadn't had enough rest since Namtan had taken her from everything she knew.
Film felt a sharp pang in her chest. She couldn't ignore the way her heart was tangled in all of this, how she couldn't make sense of what was happening between them. The conflict, the confusionâit all swirled inside her. What was she supposed to do with this feeling? How could she sort out her emotions when everything felt so messy?
She sighed, sitting up slowly, trying to shake the weight off. She needed to figure this out.
Namtan was still hereâshe had to be. The thought spurred her to her feet, the need to find answers propelling her forward. She padded quietly through the apartment, the soft sound of her footsteps against the floor echoing in the stillness. She moved toward the bedrooms, her mind clouded with the questions she couldn't answer. The first door she approached, she knocked gently, but there was no response. With a quiet exhale, she turned the handle and opened the door.
What she saw in that moment stole the breath from her lungs.
Namtan was asleep, peaceful and unaware of her presence. She looked so serene, her face soft in sleep, free from the weight of the complicated reality they were both living in. Film's chest tightened as she watched, and she had to fight the urge to step closer, to lean over and brush the hair from Namtan's face. But she couldn'tâshe knew that doing so would only make things harder. It would only pull her deeper into this mess.
Her gaze swept across the room, finally settling on the nightstand beside the bed. Framed in a simple black border was a photo of a younger Namtan with a woman who appeared to be her mother. Beside it, another photo showed a teenage Namtan standing with an older woman, likely her grandmother. Then a picture captured Namtan and Faye, standing close together, smiling as if the world had been perfect. They looked happyâso undeniably, effortlessly happy.
Film's gaze then moved to another frame, and her heart sank. This one captured a moment of joy: Namtan, Faye, and Sonya laughing together, carefree and at ease in each other's company. In the next photograph, Faye's family was gatheredâher parents, her sister Nicha standing beside her husband, Faye's brother, cradling her niece, Tori. And there, in the center of it all, was Namtan, smiling wide, as though she had always been a part of that family, as though she had seamlessly woven herself into that world. The weight of it hit Film all at once. She understood then, with a painful clarity, the depth of the situation and the gravity of the decision she now faced.
This wasn't just about her and Namtan. This was a complicated, tangled web of people, of relationships, of history. If Film allowed herself to fall for Namtanâif she let herself be swept away by whatever connection they were beginning to formâshe would be taking something incredibly precious away from Namtan. Her life with Faye. The family she had built, the history that stretched back years. Film would be asking Namtan to give up everything she knew, everything she loved.
Film stepped back from the room, her feet dragging with the weight of the realization. She knew what she had to do. She couldn't allow herself to take Namtan's life away from her. She couldn't be the reason Namtan lost everything that mattered. And that was when the thought hit herâshe had to walk away. She had to hurt Namtan, because if she didn't, Namtan would keep chasing after something that was never meant to be.
Film returned to the couch, her heart heavy, her mind reeling with conflicting emotions. She knew this was the right thing to do. She had to protect Namtan from herself, from the dangerous feelings that were threatening to consume them both. But the pain of writing the letter, knowing the weight of what it would do to Namtan, made her want to collapse. It was excruciating.
And yet, Film knew it had to be done. Namtan had to stop. She had to understand that there was no future for them.
Later, as Film sat in the plane, heading back to New York, she let the tears fall. She had fought so hard to keep them in, but she couldn't anymore. She hadn't cried when she wrote the letter. She had tried not to, not while she could still run to Namtan, not while the possibility of turning back still existed. But as the plane soared high above the clouds, the tears came, hot and heavy, and Film couldn't stop them.
She had made her decision. She had to keep her distance. She had to protect herself from getting hurt. But as the tears ran down her face, a bitter realization gnawed at her. She was doing it again. She was making the same choice she had made with Faye. She had loved Faye deeply, but she had let her go. Now, history was repeating itself with Namtan, and the pain was just as sharp, just as unbearable.
She hated herself for it. She hated that she had to break her own heart to protect the people she loved. But in the midst of all that, one thought emerged loud and clear: She was in love with Namtan.
"Damn it," she whispered to herself, feeling the truth of it settle in like a stone in her chest.
As the plane began its descent into JFK, Film slipped on her shades and mask, her heart weighed down with a heaviness she couldn't shake. She barely registered the bustling scene outside the window as she walked down the gangway, her footsteps slow and reluctant. When she finally stepped out of the airport, her manager and bodyguard were already waiting for her.
Kiera, her ever-reliable manager, immediately pulled her into a tight hug. Kiera had been with Film since the very beginning of her career. She was originally the assistant to the producer who had given Film her big break, and over the years, their relationship had evolved beyond professional. They had shared many late-night talks, and Film had confided in Kiera about Faye. Kiera knew everything about herâfrom the ups to the deep heartbreaks, and in many ways, Kiera had become more like family than just an employee. She had even resigned from her previous position to join Film, offering her expertise and friendship. With ten years of experience in the industry, Kiera had seen it all, and Film, being new to the world of fame, had relied on her guidance from the start. Though they were only five years apart in age, Kiera treated Film like a little sister, a best friend, and a manager all rolled into one.
"Hey, how are you?" Kiera asked gently as they walked toward the waiting car. Her tone was warm but cautious, like she already knew something was off.
Before Film could respond, her bodyguard opened the car door for her, and she climbed in without a word.
Kiera followed suit, slipping into the car beside her. Once they were settled, the car started moving, and Kiera turned toward Film again, studying her with a concerned expression. "I thought you said you needed a vacation and space," Kiera remarked. "But you look more exhausted now."
Film rolled her eyes, her mask hiding the frustration she felt. "Thanks. That's really what I needed right now," she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Kiera gave a playful smirk but quickly turned serious. "What happened, babe?"
Film let out a long, heavy sigh. "Stay with me in the penthouse, and I'll tell you." She didn't want to break down in the car, not yet, especially not with Kiera looking at her like that. She could feel the tears threatening to spill, and she wasn't ready to face them just yet.
Kiera nodded in understanding, pulling Film's head gently to her shoulder. Film closed her eyes and let the brief moment of comfort settle her. She couldn't help but feel grateful for Kiera's unwavering presence in her life.
When they arrived at her home, Film immediately retreated to her bedroom to shower. Kiera, as expected, ordered food, knowing just what Film would need without her having to say a word.
By the time Film emerged from her bedroom, freshly showered and a little more composed, she saw Kiera had already set up in the living room. Chinese food was spread out on the coffee table, and a bottle of vodka sat nearbyâjust what Film needed, even if she hadn't known it herself.
Film smiled gratefully at Kiera. It was moments like these that reminded her just how well Kiera understood her. No words were necessaryâKiera just knew.
"So," Kiera said, sitting back on the couch with a raised eyebrow. "Would you mind telling me now? What happened to you in the past four days?"
Film inhaled deeply, preparing herself for the flood of emotions that were sure to follow. As she began recounting the events, Kiera listened intently, her eyes widening with surprise and shock at various points. But she never interrupted. She let Film speak, giving her the space to tell her story, even as her emotions threatened to spill over.
When Film was finally done, she was a messâher face streaked with tears, her body trembling with the weight of it all. Kiera was already there, wrapping her in a tight hug, soothing her back gently.
"Oh, Film," Kiera whispered, her voice full of concern. "What have you done to yourself? Why would you keep hurting yourself like this?"
Film broke down completely, her sobs muffled into Kiera's shoulder. "I don't know," she cried, her voice raw with pain. "I'm probably a masochist..."
Kiera pulled her in tighter, her fingers brushing through Film's hair as she held her close. She didn't say anything more for a long while, knowing that sometimes words weren't enough. For now, all she could do was be there for Film, just like she had always been.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hey babes!
As promised, here's the second update for today. Thank you all so much for your patience and understandingâI truly appreciate each and every one of you!
A special shoutout to @pizzadelivery001âthank you for voting on all the chapters, from Faye Yoko to Namtan Film. You're an absolute rockstar! I love you, babe, and your support means the world to me.
Of course, to my ever-consistent readers, loyal lurkers, and wonderful commentersâyou all hold a special place in my heart. Your love and encouragement keep me going, and I'm beyond grateful for you. Sending so much love your way!
Here's a shoutout to some of you, sorry if I can't mention everyone but rest assured, I'll try to mention everyone not included here in the next chapter.
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You all inspire me more than you know! Thank you for sticking with me, for adding this story to your list, for your votes, comments, and unwavering support. I'm sending you all the biggest virtual hug!
Love you, babes! Stay amazing and kind even if sometimes the world is not. ð¥°