MaZulu

Unedited 1869

Mazulu  (flashback)

"Ntombi are you sure Lindani is someone you wish to marry?"

"Yes Ma, he is my true love. I know that our future will be better if we spend it together."

"Ntombi Lindani is a warrior, not only but a general. A lot of women wish to make him their husband. He is an eligible man but Ntombi I know you, you're not a person that is willing to share. Warriors are known for having more then one wife."

"Ma, Lindani promised me that he would only marry me and build a family with me. I trust him Ma"

"Ntombi you are the maternal niece of the current Queen. You can ask her for a favour to marry an official who works inside the Zulu Palace. You are a person that enjoys quite spaces a warriors home is filled with struggle but an officials home is filled with serenity. I know this is what you want but I wish you could rethink it my daughter. I say this because I love you and care about your well being. When we are young we make mistakes that cost us a lot.  My child, I don't want you to fall victim to the same fate as your mother.

Those where the words spoken by my mother on her death bed 9 years ago.

As I sit in my round on my bed,  I could hear the celebrations for the wedding happening.

My whole body is numb.  I cannot believe that Lindani went through with the wedding after I had disagreed with it.

Did I not give him two beautiful children.

Where we not happy for the past 9 years of our marriage. How can he break a promise he told me he would keep when we got married.

"You are my one and only, there will never be a another"

Like a fool I believed him, now I watch him do as he pleases.

I had already went back to my birth home to plead with my father to fight on my behalf.

Lindani had made a promise to my father that he would marry only me, he even stated it during our vow ceremony.

Everyone knew. My friends and family where happy for me and admired Lindani for stating such a bold statement in front of everyone.

Lindani was a sort out man indeed. He was attractive and he knew it but what caught my attention about him was his care for me.

He noticed things about me that other suitors didn't. In the kingdom I lived in, woman are expected to be home bodies and look after the husband and their household but I had a passion for literature and I loved writing books and poems for people to read and enjoy.

This trait was frowned  upon on women but since I was related to royalty I was the exception. However istead of repelling suitors it did the opposite. It attracted many suitors but the problem I had with all of them was that they all expected for me to drop my passion for literature as soon as I got married to them.

That was something I was not willing to do. Which led to me getting married really late in my life because I was not willing to settle. I had a mind of my own and I knew if no one accepted me for who I was then I would rather die alone.

However when Lindani came and encouraged me to write more, it placed him in my sight. I started noticing and asking more about him where ever I went.

Rumours started to spread as well that he was interested in me.

I was elated. So when he came to my home to ask for my hand I didn't care that he was a general, warrior and the stereotype that they are never satisfied by one women.

I just wanted him. Only he would do!

"You chose your bed now lay in it. Did you think that a warrior would only have one wife? When has that ever happened Ntombi. You are too full of yourself! You're  reading and writing all the time has made you lose touch with reality. There is nothing your father can do, go back to your house and deal with your marriage  issues! You already have children build your home and be a good wife"

Those where the words spoken by my step mother, she was the second wife of my father. He had married her after two years of marriage with my mother.

I continued to plead with my father to the point where I  got angry and told him he was a disgrace of a man to allow another man to make promises and not keep them.

That day my father decided to prove that he was a man. Although he had reprimanded for my disrespect he still went to the Queen to plead my case.

My husband was called to the Zulu Palace and punished for failing to keep his word.

The then King striped him of his title as a general and demoted him as a warrior.

The news spread far and wide about his demotion, he was embarrassed but that still did not stop Lindani from marrying MaMsomi.

I noticed a trait  about Lindani that I never did before, he was a man with too much pride.

If he had went back to the then King and asked back for his title, the King would have returned it back to him.

After all he had earned it, but he chose to stay in his home and do what he wanted.

During this time I was angry at Lindani but I was most angry  with MaMsomi. She never respected me as the first wife and Lindani encouraged her behaviour.

This went on for a few months until that night that I will never forget happened.

I had stopped visiting Lindani's bed as I couldn't stand being near him nor could I tolerate his new little wife.

So when someone came into my round at night, I knew it would either be the children or the maids. But I had never expected it to be Lindani.

He came in smelling of wine and zulu beer.

"Why don't you love me any more Ntombi?

Am I not your Lindani?

What happened to us? We use to be so happy?

You don't even visit me anymore nor do you care.

Is it MaMsomi? Is she the problem?

Mm? Tell me Ntombi!"

"No, Lindani .MaMsomi is not the problem although she has exacerbated the situation but you are are cause.

When you and I exchanged vows, you had promised me I would be your only wife.

9 years later you marry another. How can you expect me to continue treating you the same way when you have hurt me so deeply?

I never promised you any false hope, you knew the type of person I was and I told you multiple times. You always reassured me that you will never hurt me .

Sadly you did, although I have forgiven but my body can never accept you again.

I set you free Lindani to do as you wish, I no longer will fight for our marriage.

When I had gone to the Queen I thought you would change but you didn't.  I had to face the reality that I had married a selfish man.

Don't get me wrong Lindani, I loved you and I still do as the father of my children but in order to preserve my peace and heart I rather set you free and let you do what you want."

"So MaMsomi is the problem? You could have just said that. Ntombi I am a man and I have needs.

MaMsomi fulfills these needs but I still need y..."

"Leave my round Lindani and never come this late ever again unless it's an emergency!"

"I am your husband and you are my wife!

I fulfill my duties as your husband by taking care of you so you must fulfill your duties as a wife!"

"Lindani, don't you dare touch me! I have not given you my consent!"

"You are my wife ! MY WIFE!"

"LINDANI NO! STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

That night was the night Lindani hurt me beyond measure the worst part is that he never apologized nor did he see anything wrong.

From that night onwards I slept with my round door locked until I found out I was pregnant.

I was unhappy about the way the babies came to be but I chose to keep the pregnancy. Only ancestor's have the right to give life and take it.

The night I gave birth, was the most difficult birth I had experienced it might have been due to me being older or the fact that I didn't want the babies. So I might have been punished for it.

Somehow I made it through and delivered 3 baby boys. I was happy when I saw them put when the midwife told me my babies had a higher chance of not surviving I was heart broken.

For the first time after the night Lindani forced himself on me I went to his round to ask for help with regards to the baby boys.

He told me he would do his best to find the best healers but he only bought back a local healer to look at the boys.

As expected I had spent only one month with my children but they ended up passing away.

I knew that I could have saved them but my body had not healed as yet so I had placed my trust on a husband who had continued to fail over and over again.

I never expected much from him but I still hoped that maybe the Lindani I knew from 9 years ago would resurface.

Hope can be medicine hope can be poison and in my case it was poison.

(Present)

That is why when I looked at Mazobe's  daughter I knew I had to help her.

MaMzobe got married to Lindani by force and not by choice. She always told me she never wanted to marry.

"Being a slave was not so bad, it only depended on your owners", in her case she told me she had good owners but she said everyone changes when they see money.

" I was told in the morning that I had been married off to the former General lindani. I was shocked but I knew I had no right to ask questions so I packed up my belongs and left with the carriage. The day I arrived and spent the night with Lindani, he had told me that he only had to wave a few gold coins for my owners to jump for joy.  He degraded me and insulted me every night he came. He made me do things I never wanted to but I had no choice because although I was married to him he was still my master. He never gave me back my identity papers so he owned me."

Those where her words and as her friend I will protect her offspring even if she never said so herself, I know  it's a duty I have to fulfill.

I wished to tell Lindani that he was the reason why I don't speak anymore but I realised that it would be pointless of me to do so.

Lindani is a loss cause.

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