Chapter 8

Once Lagi leaves, Kesuk gets to work cleaning out the spare bedroom. I bathe in the meantime, overjoyed to finally scrub the grime and dirt from my body that I acquired on my long journey through the mountains. The bathtub is small and the water is lukewarm, but it is a small delight all the same.

Kesuk finishes cleaning around the same time my bath concludes. Once I'm dressed warmly in a nightgown, I collapse into bed with exhaustion. I try to will myself to eat or spend a few minutes organizing my belongings, but as my body curls warmly into the sheets, sleep overtakes me.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In the days that follow, my main focus is on regaining my strength. Lagi keeps his distance, wanting to keep suspicions low about my presence in Kilneu. Due to his absence, Kesuk's and my discussions surrounding my plan are kept to a minimum. I attempt on multiple occasions to scheme with Kesuk, but each time the topic surfaces, Kesuk finds a way to shut me down, explaining that he does not want to have to waste time getting Lagi up to speed later in the week and that my mind needs to be centered on healing.

With little else to talk about, however, the days draw on slowly. Kesuk is around, though he often leaves for hours at a time to hunt or sell his goods in the marketplace, as well as seek allies. I remain in the cabin either alone or occasionally with Siku. I sleep often to pass the time, hoping it will aid in my recovery. Other times, I curl up in blankets and sit near the window, watching the snow fall down peacefully onto the forest. Though I know the cold temperatures are miserable, I long to get back outside, at the very least so I can stretch my legs. Even living in Esterpool did not feel as trapped compared to now. I suppose that is a consequence I was forced to accept when leaving the safety of my family's hut in Satavau.

One morning, Kesuk prepares me a hearty breakfast of sausage and fresh eggs. My appetite has since returned in full, and I eat voraciously.

Kesuk chuckles as I down my meal. "Lagi has always told me my cooking is average, but you seem to enjoy it like it's a royal meal."

"After surviving off scraps for months, it tastes like one."

Kesuk grins and plates me another egg. We have gotten to know each other slowly over these past few days, but I still do not entirely trust him, even if Lagi does. Our conversations have been short and logistical. They mainly center around my health and making sure I get whatever I need, whether that be food, water, or rest, as I continue to recover from my near-death experience. I feel as if I am living with the other maids back in Esterpool again as we make small talk, although, unlike them, I believe Kesuk actually has my best interests at heart.

Siku, meanwhile, has decidedly made me his new companion and makes a point to follow me around the cabin, even when I am relieving myself. Sometimes when Kesuk is home, he will seek my company out instead. Even as we eat, he lays curled at my feet and snores loudly.

As I finish breakfast, Kesuk reaches for my plate.

"I can help clean," I offer. I need much less assistance these days now that my strength is returning, though I still see concern reflect in Kesuk's eyes. "I feel fine," I add, which seems to convince him.

As he washes dishes, I wipe them dry. I am reminded of a simpler time back in Tetoa, helping my mother or Taika with this same task. My heart pangs a little at the thought of them.

"You seem to be recovering nicely," Kesuk says.

"No thanks to you. If I can help around the house at all now that I have some strength back, please let me know. I feel awful taking advantage of your kindness."

"Don't. It's nice to have some company," Kesuk says. He eyes Siku's sleeping form. "Besides Siku, of course."

I chuckle and wipe another dish.

"Do you have no family nearby?" I ask.

Kesuk is quiet for a few moments, and I worry I've touched a nerve. Slowly, he inhales. "They passed. My mother died of illness when I was young. My father and brothers were recruited into the army shortly after Magnuvia declared war in the north. They were disposed of quickly on the front lines."

My heart sinks at his words. "I'm sorry to hear that. My father passed in the conquest to take Tabafaga when I was a child," I say.

Kesuk frowns. "I'm sure that was a great loss. It is tragic that is the unfortunate reality for many of us in the empire. We have all been hurt by Magnuvia."

I nod quietly. "How did you avoid being drafted, then? I would have thought they'd have recruited every young man around your age from Kilaun."

"I had an injury at the time. I broke my ankle tripping over an exposed tree root while hunting. To this day, it still cracks when I twist it at an odd angle. It's funny that the Magnuvians pretend to have morals when it comes to sending those who are injured into their military, as if the healthy ones are not sent to the frontlines to perish anyway."

I nod. "Hopefully there will be one day where we are no longer subject to their cruel practices."

"I would like to make that a reality too," Kesuk says. He hands the last dish to me to dry. "Speaking of, I invited Lagi over this afternoon. I've been trying to ask around in the marketplace about gathering allies, but I have had little luck. I'm going to visit a popular pub this morning that may have some takers."

"Be careful," I warn.

"Don't worry. I'll be stealthy about it."

I glance out the window. "Do you think..." My voice falters.

"You want to come with me?" Kesuk asks, reading my mind. By the solemn look on his face, I know his answer already. "I'm afraid not. You are too easily recognizable, and it would endanger Lagi as well."

"I know," I murmur. "I just wish I wasn't cooped up in here."

"I understand. Hopefully it will not be that way forever. How about I leave Siku with you today so you have some company?"

"Sure," I agree. It does not replace the feeling of the wind in my hair, but Siku will be an enjoyable distraction.

I position myself over by the fire and call Siku over to me. He happily pads over and curls up beside me. Kesuk puts on his heavy winter coat and gives me a wave as he heads out the door.

"See you this afternoon."

"See you," I respond.

Siku immediately finds one of his many discarded sticks from underneath the sofa and brings it to me to throw. I chuckle at the way his paws shuffle in anticipation. I cannot throw far in the confines of the cabin, but he seems happy chasing after the stick regardless. After a dozen throws though, he loses interest, and so do I. Siku returns to my side and lays down in front of the fire, letting out a tired sigh.

"I suppose it would be enjoyable playing outside," I say, feeling for him. I give his head a few scratches and then lie back into the couch, staring at the fireplace. As I watch the flames dance, I grow restless. My strength has been returning these past few days, but so has my impatience. I have no way of knowing how my mother and sister's plans have progressed, but I know they must have an advantange over me, especially with how slowness of my own scheming. Have they made contact with that advisor, Christopher, in Magewell? Are they heading to the castle already? I begin to bite my fingernails at the thoughts.

I hope that when Kesuk returns, he will have gained some valuable information. Otherwise, I wonder if there will be any use trying to forge a path different from my mother and sister.

Time passes slowly. Siku and I play some more, I take a brief nap, and, embarrassingly, I read Asteria's letter in my travel bag a few more times. I know it is dangerous to continue to hold onto it. I should shred it or find some way to dispose of it, but it is one of the few tangible memories I have of our time in Esterpool. I think my heart would be ripped into pieces if I had to part with it.

When I hear the sound of a door opening, I quickly shove the letter back into my bag and return to the living room, finding Kesuk in the kitchen.

"How was your morning?" I ask.

"Great, actually. I think I may have found a few leads," he says.

My eyes widen in excitement. "Really?!"

"Yes. But let's wait until Lagi arrives to discuss them," Kesuk replies.

He gets to work preparing lunch. I gaze out the window, anxiously anticipating Lagi. Beyond wanting to see him well again, I also look forward to beginning to discuss our plan in more detail.

Just as Kesuk begins laying out dishes, a knock sounds at the door. It is rhythmic, similar to the knock my family used to communicate back in our home in Tetoa. I suppose Kesuk and Lagi must have worked out a system long ago.

It is snowing outside, I realize, when I see the flakes speckled in Lagi's dark hair. He brushes powdered snow from his winter coat and gives me a wave upon entering.

"Welcome," Kesuk says. "We're just about ready to eat lunch."

"Perfect. I'm starving," Lagi says. He pulls up a chair next to me. "How have you been doing, Fetia?"

"I'm feeling better every day," I say. "Kesuk has been taking good care of me in the meantime. I think my strength will be completely back in no time."

"That's great to hear," Lagi says. He reaches for the plate Kesuk hands him. It is subtle, but I see him wince in pain. As he lowers his plate back to the ground, he briefly rubs his arm. I realize suddenly it is the same arm that I saw bandaged back in Okchester all those months ago.

"Is your arm injured?" I ask.

I see defeat flash briefly in his face.

"It's a training injury," he murmurs. "A knife wound to my arm that didn't heal properly. One of the soldiers had a sloppy hand."

"Or he was doing it intentionally," I murmur. "Does Palila know?"

He shakes his head. "It's fine. It only slows me down a little."

I open my mouth to tell him that he should be paying better attention to his health, but I can tell from his stare that he does not want to discuss it. I sigh, growing worried at the thought of him engaging in combat in the spring with a wounded arm. I want to ask him if there are ways to lessen his training without being punished, but his gaze is purposely averted from mine and focused downward on his lunch instead. I begin eating, figuring there are things that each of us wish to keep secretive.

"Let's discuss strategy, then," Kesuk says. "I know Lagi filled me in already on your thoughts, but I'd like to hear from you directly, Fetia, on what you have in mind for how we will take down the empire."

I set down my fork and take a deep breath. I have thought over the plan countless times now in my hours spent alone in Kesuk's cabin. My ideas are not perfect and will require constant revision, but I feel I can better explain them now than when I first arrived to Kilaun a few days prior.

"My mother's plan was to murder the royal family. I know she thinks that is the only way to take down the empire, but I do not think it is wise to invoke more violence," I explain. "So I want to stage another type of rebellion, one that involves less direct conflict. Perhaps Lagi already mentioned this to you, but I think if we start withdrawing our services from Magnuvia – refusing to sell them our goods, barricading the areas where they collect magic, and resisting their attempts to draw us into the army – then I think we may have a shot of weakening them, at least to the point of getting them to listen to us."

Kesuk nods thoughtfully.

"But I know that is asking a lot," I murmur. "And that is also assuming King Stephan will even be willing to negotiate or listen to the demands of the other countries in his empire."

As the words fall off my tongue, even I begin to doubt them. Suddenly my mother's plan almost seems like the safer option, even if I know that is far from true.

"I think you are on the right path," Kesuk says. "Though not a great comparison, Magnuvia conquered the other nations in their empire through small wins that gradually grew into great power. If we can do that – find some small ways to win against Magnuvia – then perhaps we can invoke a chain reaction. By weakening Magnuvia slowly and effectively, we stand a greater chance of permanently harming them."

"You think so?" I ask, my hope rising.

"I believe it is possible," Kesuk says. "But you are right about the king. We are assuming a lot about his character."

"You served the princess, so you must've come into contact with King Stephan. Do you think he would listen to what we have to say?" Lagi asks.

I glance down at my food, suddenly losing my appetite as I remember the wicked look on Stephan's face. He still haunts me in my dreams some nights, especially when I remember the way he verbally degraded Asteria in front of me. However, I worry about breaking Lagi and Kesuk's optimistic spirits so early on, as well as my own.

"Truthfully, I don't know," I say. "He is clever and proud, and I don't know what it will take to break him. But we should at least try."

"I agree. We can re-evaluate our strategy once we've taken more concrete steps," Kesuk says. "And if we have to take some harsh actions against the royal family then—"

"Wait," I sputter.

Lagi and Kesuk stare at me confusedly.

"Fetia," Lagi says. "Your plan is hopeful, but you must know that—"

"I know," I say. "I do not wish to become a murderer like my mother and sister, but I know that we may not be able to remain peaceful towards King Stephan. That's not what I want to say though. I understand that plans will change with time, but I have one request that I am asking be honored."

"What is that?" Kesuk asks.

I wring my fingers together nervously and finally vocalize one of the most crucial elements of my plan that will separate me from my mother and sister.

"Please – let's spare Princess Asteria from all these plans. I do not want her involved in them whatsoever," I say. I hope my cheeks aren't flushed, though my face feels hot as I make my request. It is nothing but a selfish wish of mine. For all I know, Asteria could be advising Stephan right now on what violent actions to take next against Landiani, even if I know it would be out of the ordinary for her. Still though, I feel the need to protect her after all this time.

Both Lagi and Kesuk make sounds of confusion.

"I grew to know the princess personally while serving as her maid," I continue. "I do not think she is a threat, nor do I think she has the same cruel spirit as her brother. I would consider her a... friend, so please, let's not make her our enemy in this."

Lagi glances at me wildly. "Fetia, even if that was true while you were her maid, her feelings toward you may have changed after your betrayal."

I know he is telling the truth, but I refuse to back down. "I know that, and this is the only request I'll make, but I'll say it once more. Let's spare Asteria from our plans."

I can tell Lagi wants to fight me on this, but Kesuk's nod forces him to close his mouth.

"Noted. We'll do our best to honor your request," Kesuk says. "Let's not waste our time on this subject any longer. We need to discuss allies. Numbers will be crucial in gathering strength. I've begun spreading the word around town to try to find fellow compatriots. I hope to collaborate with some other individuals who can send letters to those residing throughout Kilneu. Speaking of, I heard a name floating around today in the pub of someone who could be a valuable ally. An old fisherman shared it with me. There is a man named Nukilik, and he has supposedly been supporting Kilneu's independence for decades."

The name seems familiar, but I cannot think of why. As Kesuk continues speaking, my eyes suddenly widen in realization.

"Please tell me you did not speak to him directly!" I shout.

Kesuk and Lagi both glance at me, confused once more.

"No. I was only told where to find him," Kesuk says. "What's wrong?"

"We cannot seek out his aid."

"Why not?" Lagi asks.

"Excuse me a moment," I say. I withdraw myself from the table and return to my room. I rummage through my bag until I find the notes I scrawled on a piece of parchment. I return to the kitchen, finding Kesuk and Lagi still staring at me peculiarly. I lay down the list flat on the table.

"These are my mother's allies," I explain. "I found a list of them back when we were living in Satavau. I wasn't able to write down all of them, but I made a point to write down those that were located in Kilneu. As nice as it may be to work with him, I don't think we can trust him, nor any of the other Kilneu individuals on this list. I don't know how recently my mother was in contact with them. If she were to figure out my location or worse, my plan, I am sure she would find a way to squash it in its early stages."

Kesuk frowns. "That severely harms our chances of gaining allies."

"I know, but I do not think we have another choice," I say.

There's a pause before Kesuk lets out a long sigh. "That was a good lead, but I suppose I can do my best to avoid the individuals listed here. May I keep the list for now?"

I nod and hand it over to him.

"Fetia, I think you're right in not reaching out to this man," Lagi says, "but did you consider also that they may know what your mother and sister are up to?"

I pause. "That is a good point, but still..." I shut my mouth, not wanting to admit that my fear of my mother still controls me at times.

"I will not go to Nukilik and seek out direct aid," Kesuk says. "But...I will try to see if I can gather any information on if he's been in touch with other allies lately. Do you know what your mother's new plan is?"

"Only small details," I say. "She was corresponding with an ally in Flumensia, who is putting her into contact with a man named Christpher who works as an advisor in Magewell Castle. As far as I know, she had not made contact with this man before I left. She was still figuring out how exactly he would be of use to the plan."

Kesuk lets out a sigh. "That's troublesome..."

Lagi shakes his head. "Actually, I don't think so. Magewell Castle has increased their defenses since the assassination. It will be very hard for anyone from Landiani to enter the castle, or even the city, and if your mother hasn't even made contact with this man yet, then we may have some time."

I nod, though I wonder nervously how long that time will be.

"Were they plotting anything else?" Kesuk asks.

"That's all I know. She and Kiana were also busy collecting crystals in the time before I left."

Lagi looks at me strangely. "Collecting them? How, with the soldiers all around?"

I clasp my hand over my mouth. I suppose I just shared one of the country's biggest secrets, but it does not matter now.

"This must remain secretive information between the three of us," I say. "Not even our future allies can learn of it."

Kesuk and Lagi nod.

"There are a number of caves hidden deep in the Landiani Jungle that host a large collection of crystals untouched by the Magnuvians. As chief, it was my mother's responsibility to look over them. The caves' whereabouts are knowledge that has been passed down in the chief's family through generations. We used to go there often to train and scheme for increased privacy from soldiers."

Lagi nods, and I can see the wheels turning in his head as he probably remembers all the times I could not meet up with him and Palila due to vague family commitments.

"But you say they are collecting them? Why?" Kesuk asks.

"I'm not sure, but that decision in particular is one of the main reasons I left. My mother wants to use the magic for herself. I do not know in what way, whether it is to enhance physical capabilities, entice others to join, or use it for some sort of weapon. But they have magic on their side, which automatically gives them an advantage," I say.

"That may be true, but like you said, you don't know how they plan to use it," Kesuk says. "Let's focus on continuing to collect allies around Kilneu for now. If I can find out anything about your mother and sister, I'll let you know, but we should not worry about them for now. However, you should know that we likely cannot stay here in Kilaun forever."

I nod. "That was never the plan. We will need to gather allies from all over the empire."

"We can figure out future travel plans later. For now, suspicion is low, and you're safe here, so we should take advantage of that reality for as long as possible. Lagi, have you heard anything from the soldiers?" Kesuk asks.

Lagi shakes his head. "I will keep alert, but it is much more dangerous to speak about matters involving any sort of rebellion at the base camp."

"It's all right. I don't want you to endanger yourself," I say.

"Well, even if you manage to find one or two other soldiers to become an ally, it may be helpful," Kesuk says.

"I'll try my best," Lagi promises.

With next steps in mind, our conversation dwindles, and we finish the remainder of our lunch. Lagi stays long enough to help us clean, and then he makes his way back to the soldier camp. I hug him strongly as he goes, always worried I will not see him again, but I have to hope he is doing his best to remain safe at the soldier camp.

I stare out the window at the winter woods, and a peace falls over me. Though there is much more work ahead of us, I feel more at ease now that we've had a longer discussion about the plan and have begun describing explicit steps we can take to achieve those goals. Still, I worry about how much my mother and sister's plans have advanced in the time I've been gone, as brief as it's been...

"Fetia," Kesuk says, interrupting my thoughts. He is sitting on the couch by the fireplace, stroking Siku's fur. "You said you would like to stretch your legs. Why don't we take Siku out into the forest for a bit? I am sure the sunlight would be good for you."

"That would be great," I say. Excitement floods through me at the thought of leaving the cabin, and I rush to get dressed into proper winter garb for the outdoors.

I meet Kesuk by the front door a few minutes later. As he opens the door, I step out slowly and finally experience my first proper sights of Kilneu. The weather has calmed from the light snowfall this morning, so the sky is blue and dotted with white clouds. Tall pine trees layered with delicate snow climb high into the sky. An eagle flies above, letting out a beautiful screech. All around, the ground is coated in thick, fluffy snow.

Kesuk begins marching forward. I take a few steps, finding it difficult to walk through such deep snow. After a few more steps, I tumble over, my knees sinking into the snow.

Kesuk spins his head around. "Are you alright?"

I nod and laugh it off, beginning to trek behind Kesuk once more. As I walk, I grab some snow with my gloves and mold it between my palms. The snowflakes glitter in the sunlight, making my eyes light up with wonder. I suppose I never thought I would experience a winter like this in my lifetime. While Landiani has always been my home, since I have lived in Esterpool, and now Kilaun, I think there are probably wonders to be found in every corner of the world. I wonder if one day, I will get to explore all of it.

Kesuk leads us a bit deeper into the forest, where the trees are more dense. Then, he grabs a stick from a fallen tree branch and tosses it. Siku rushes after it happily. Kesuk and I take turns throwing the stick back and forth. I enjoy seeing Siku's tail wag and his eyes light up in happiness as we play with him.

Kesuk throws the stick again, and Siku lets out a playful bark. As the dog rushes after it, however, he gets distracted, beginning to take off in a different direction.

"Siku!" Kesuk calls, annoyed. He rushes off after the dog, attempting to recall him. I chuckle and watch Kesuk pursue him.

As Kesuk works on retrieving Siku, I savor the silence for a few moments. My eyes wander upward to the trees. The wind causes snow to drop from the branches every few minutes, creating a delightful snowy mist. I take a deep breath. For the first time in a while, I feel completely at peace.

Kesuk and Siku return a moment later, both looking tired after Siku's short excursion.

"Are you feeling well?" Kesuk asks, noticing my quiet.

I nod. "It's nice to be out here," I say. "An improvement from being cooped up in the cabin for sure."

Kesuk smiles. "We cannot come out here often, but I will do my best to get you out once or twice a week. Soldiers don't often wander through these parts of the woods, but we cannot be too careful. In fact, you should probably draw up your hood," he says.

My heart sinks. I reach for the hood of my coat and draw it. Though it was nice to feel the winter breeze tousling my hair for a bit, my ears at least feel much warmer now that the hood lies around my head.

I take a few more turns throwing sticks for Siku. We stay outside for a little while longer, but I notice Kesuk's antsy movements the longer we linger.

"Perhaps we should head back?" I suggest. Even with the coat and gloves, the winter air nips at my body. Suddenly, the warm fire in Kesuk's home sounds inviting.

Kesuk nods. "We should before Siku gets too comfortable out here," he says. He glances at Siku, who is lying down happily in the snow with his pink tongue dangling out of his mouth.

Kesuk calls Siku over toward him. By Siku's slower movements and heavy pants, it's clear he's ready to return home, too.

As I walk beside the two of them, I selfishly hope it is not too long before I am able to go outside again.