In the days that follow, letters return in response to the ones sent by Asteria's guards. Our allies in Kilneu celebrate the addition of the princess to our team and share that our numbers have continued to grow by the dozens across the country in our absence. Arabelle's parents offer congratulations to Arabelle at being reinstated as one of the princess's maids. Most importantly, Asteria receives vital information back from Magewell regarding recent rebellions that have occurred in the empire.
"It was easy enough to acquire," Asteria says as we sit around the living room. "I simply told them that this information would aid in capturing those responsible for my father's death, and they provided me with it swiftly."
My mouth forms into a smile. Perhaps my mother and sister are in Flumensia, but they do not have access to the same information as us. Finally, I feel as if the pieces of our plan are fitting together.
"I think it's time to start building connections in Flumensia, then," I say.
"How do you propose doing so?" Asteria asks.
"Now that we know where rebellion activity has occurred, we can target settlements in Flumensia to travel to and seek out allies," I say.
"And I'm sure with the princess on our side, we'll gain support more easily," Vasa adds with enthusiasm.
Kesuk frowns. "The only issue is that the more word spreads of the upcoming coup and the princess's involvement, the quicker we lose access to valuable connections in Magewell."
Asteria sighs. "As I said last time, it is a risk we must take. However, I have thought of a plan for now to keep my involvement less public." She looks up to where Arabelle is seated on the couch. Though Arabelle has begun to sulk less as of late, she does not seem pleased at Asteria's address.
"I would like you to lead these efforts, Arabelle," Asteria says. "You are a local and those in Flumensia will trust you. The guards can accompany you as you work to surreptitiously spread word of our plan and my involvement."
Arabelle huffs. "And if I refuse?"
I stiffen as the royal guards point their guns toward Arabelle. Her eyes widen, and she quickly sits up straight in her seat.
"It would be my honor, Princess," she says.
"That's the answer I wanted to hear," Asteria replies.
"Then, should we begin sending Arabelle into town with the guards today?" I ask.
Asteria shakes her head. "From what Arabelle has told me about the population near Cantersard Lake, we won't find many allies here. We are better suited to direct our energy southwards, to Kilkwood."
I turn to Kesuk and Vasa, expecting pushback, but both nod at Asteria's suggestion. I find that my heart sinks though. I had just begun feeling comfortable in Arabelle's cottage, and though I knew it would not be a permanent residence, I had not expected to leave so soon after arriving.
Sensing my hesitation, Asteria adds, "This cottage may not afford us safety much longer, especially once more become aware of the coup. From here on out, we should be prepared to move often depending on the danger that awaits us, either from Magnuvia's soldiers or Fetia's family."
"But what about shelter?" I ask.
"Arabelle said that many of the homes near the lakes are seasonal, right?" Vasa suggests. "I'm sure one of us can manage to pick a lock or break a windowâ"
"We risk drawing even more suspicion," Kesuk warns, "especially if we are constantly on the move. We should leave as less of a trace as possible, only breaking into homes if absolutely necessary."
My eyes widen. "Does that meanâ"
"Congratulations. Everyone here gets to experience the joys of camping," Kesuk says.
"Oh, I've never gotten to camp before," Asteria says with a naïve enthusiasm. "This will be exciting!"
Kesuk turns to me. "Does all this sound reasonable to you, Fetia? I believe we've gathered all the information we can here."
Though I will miss the cozy walls of Arabelle's cottage and fondly remember it as a place that reunited myself and Asteria, I know as well as the others that we stand no success of gaining allies in Flumensia if we do not seek out more populated areas of the country.
"Yes," I say.
"Let's plan to leave in five days' time, then," Kesuk suggests. "That way we have time to gather supplies and prepare for our travel. I'll need to correspond with our allies to let them know I may not have a reliable address for them to contact us for the time being. However, so long as we are near a town with a post office, I should still have ways to contact them and share valuable information."
"That sounds reasonable to me," Asteria says.
"Then...to Kilkwood it is," I say. Nervousness invades my body at the thought of truly getting work underway to make the coup a success, but with Asteria by my side, I feel more confident compared to when we were gaining allies in Kilneu.
Vasa clears his throat now. "I'm thinking ahead, but when the day of the coup arrives, our allies will need weapons."
I begin to speak up. "Not necessarilyâ"
Asteria shakes her head. "No. He's right."
Her response makes me uneasy. I feel for the knife attached to my belt and run my fingers along its hilt. I had hoped, especially with Asteria on our side, that we had a better chance at taking a nonviolent approach. I know better than anyone that involving weapons is only going to put more people in danger. I whisk my hand away from the knife that now feels burning hot in my hand and go quiet as Asteria and Vasa continue their conversation.
"With the limited time I have before my brother discovers my treachery, I will arrange a way for weaponry to get to our allies," Asteria says. "At the very least, we may be able to get some rifles to Kilneu before I'm found out, but after that, it will be quite difficult. I'll have my guards send some letters to other members of the royal guard I personally trust who can assist with that."
"Thank you," Kesuk says. "We'll devise a way to get additional weapons when the moment comes. And on that topic, I believe we each should be practicing self-defense in the meantime. Asteria, do you think you can acquire some rifles for us as well?"
Asteria nods. "I'll see what I can do."
Once again, I squirm at the thought of carrying a gun. My mother's knife alone feels like a heavy weight. I cannot imagine having a more deadly weapon five times its size strapped to my back.
"The princess cannot fight," Alba says suddenly. "She is not fit to practice self-defense, and she should not have to do so."
"Alba, be reasonable," Asteria says. "I cannot remove myself from all violence if I am the one leading this coup. Though I intend to persuade Stephan with my words, I am sure there will be many trying to kill me. Kesuk makes a fair point."
"The princess with a gun? Now that would be a sight to see," Arabelle says with a chuckle.
"Princess, you know that you are not trainedâ"
Asteria cuts off Alba once more. "Do not play dumb in this scenario. You know the training my father made Stephan and I endure. I am sure I can use those skills again if needed."
"Training?" Kesuk questions.
I quickly sit upright. "Asteria. You don't need to do that. I am sure we can teach you merely how to handle a gun or some other manageable weapon," I say.
"What are you two talking about?" Vasa asks.
Asteria lets out a deep sigh. I make eye contact with her, silently urging her to say nothing. Not only do I feel her magical abilities are best kept secret, but I fear her using them even more. I already denied the crystals Kiana gave me. It feels wrong asking Asteria to use magic when it is the very thing we are trying to not take advantage of.
"My father taught Stephan and I ancient Magnuvian magic techniques," Asteria says. She flexes her fingers some, and I remember the quieter moments she showed me magic, when she'd bloom delicate flower petals from her hands and weave them into my hair. That magic was beautiful and filled with love. I cannot imagine her using her powers any other way.
"Rather than harvesting magic through mechanical means, like the soldiers do in the sea caves in Landiani or the lakes in Flumensia, Stephan and I were genetically gifted with being able to pull magic directly from its source, which in Magnuvia is its forests. There were a small patch of woods near the castle that my father would take us out to practice. We would suck up the magic through our fingertips and use it to train. Stephan was much more skilled at combat, though I was skilled in another way â manipulating the earth around me. I could make the flowers bloom or pull away branches with a touch of my hand. My father disliked this use of magic and thought it made me weak, so eventually he stopped training me, which was for the best since I didn't like using the magic for combat. All that being said, my magical ability is a skill I possess nonetheless."
I see Kesuk and Vasa's eyes widen in excitement, but my heart immediately sinks.
"What an incredible skill to have! Could we see a presentation?" Kesuk asks.
"No," I argue. I stand up and glare angrily at the others now. "Besides the fact that she has not ever practiced with Flumensian magic before, do you think we are we truly better than the Magnuvians by using magic for our own gain? I'm already against the violence, but I have tried to make peace with the fact we will need weapons. Magic, I think, should not be considered at all."
"Fetia, if this has any chance of succeeding, we need to consider all possibilities," Kesuk counters.
"This is where I draw the line," I argue. "Did you know my sister offered me some crystals from the Landiani caves before I left? I turned them down. I did not want to abuse their power like our oppressors. And I do not want us taking advantage of Asteria's powers either."
"I am right here, you know," Asteria says in annoyance. "I admire your ethics, Fetia, I truly do, but I think we should consider my powers an option. Do you think my brother will withhold the use of magic in opposing our forces?"
I want to argue with her, shout at her that she need not abuse the magical powers she once held so sacred, but I can already tell I am going to be overruled. Even if Alba does not want Asteria to fight, I am sure she would not be opposed Asteria using magic to defend herself, and Kesuk and Vasa seem eager at the chance to have an advantage on our side.
"Fine. Do what you wish. If you excuse me, I'm going to lie down. I'm not feeling well," I murmur. I storm out of the room and, once inside my own bedroom, don't try to listen to the remainder of the discussion. I imagine Kesuk and Vasa will fill me in on the details after I have finished sulking.
I lie on my bed, breathing in the scent of the freshly-washed sheets. The sun begins to set outside, and my room grows darker by the minute. I sigh and stare out the window, watching the sun's rays disappear behind the trees. I think of how my goal was to protect Asteria, but now that we have reunited, it feels exceedingly harder to do so.
A knock echoes on the door, breaking me from my thoughts. "You can fill me in later!" I grumble. I wait for Kesuk and Vasa's footsteps to die away, but the door creaks open slowly.
Her voice rings through the air. "It's me."
I roll over on my side, turning my back towards Asteria. My fingers knot into the sheets of my bed. I wait for her to leave, but she shuts the door and approaches. The weight of her body shifts the mattress as she sits beside me.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say, continuing to avert my gaze from her.
"I do," Asteria responds. "It is not so bad using my magic. Surely it will be good if it helps the plan succeed."
I sit up now. "But I do not want you to use your magic!"
"I know it is not ethicalâ"
"No. It's not just that!" I say. Tears well in my eyes. "You told me that you never wanted to use your magic in a way that begets violence again. I've seen how beautifully you handle it. I want you to continue to only use it that way. I wish you had never told them of your powers. I don't want anyone to take advantage of you. I just want to protect you."
Asteria sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "This is hard, Fetia. I have sacrificed so much to be here with you again and to aid you. I have tried not to ask for any more from you, but you are making it exceedingly challenging. You nearly kissed me the other day. Why was that?"
"I..." My words falter.
"Fine. I will not ask for an explanation. Know that I am trying as hard as I can to respect your wishes to remain friends right now. With that being the case, I would really appreciate your support. We are no longer bound to each other. I am free to make my own choices, and so are you."
"I know," I murmur.
"I am going to use my magic. Perhaps it will not be my primary form of self-defense, but if it will increase our odds, then I think it is best that I use it. I will not ask you to use any magic. I think it was very noble of you to turn down your sister's crystals, but please respect my decision," Asteria says.
"I understand," I say in defeat.
"And I promise you that once this is over, I will not use my magic in such a way ever again," Asteria says more quietly.
"We seem to be making many promises," I say, a slight smile returning to my face.
"And I mean each of them," Asteria says with ferocity in her tone.
"Will you please be careful using your powers?" I ask quietly.
"Yes," Asteria says. "How about I only practice in your presence? That way the others do not know the true extent of my power for now."
I gather the courage to it up now and face her. "Yes, I would like that."
"And in the meantime, would you be willing to help me with self-defense?" Asteria asks.
"Yes, of course," I promise. "My mother taught me and my sister well."
"Thank you," Asteria says. An awkward silence settles over us then, and I feel the tension, thick in the air. I am aware of how close we are seated, our arms just barely brushing against each other.
Then, I inch closer and embrace her. She hugs me back and slides her arms around my body. I dig my fingers into the fabric of her dress, pulling her closer to me. As my head rests on her shoulder, I think of how dangerous this is. My heart is beating so loud, I wonder if she can hear it. I pull away before too long, afraid I will never let go.
"I believe Alba is cooking dinner tonight. We should go join," Asteria says. She unravels her arms from me slowly, and I smooth out my outfit, hoping it is not creased from our embrace. "Otherwise I am afraid Vasa and Kesuk will have my head. They do not seem to like me much. Your friends are very protective of you."
"They will come around. I am sure," I say as I rise to join her. Her fingers just gently graze mine as we walk out of my bedroom, and then our quiet moment together vanishes as the sun finally settles behind the hillside.
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The following day, we set aside time in the morning to practice self-defense. Arabelle is too stubborn to comply, and Alba is too proud to believe she needs training. Kesuk, Vasa, and I find ourselves too tired to argue, so we allow them their rest for the time being and decide to encourage them to train another day.
With the four of us remaining, we leave the cottage and head deeper into the forest where there will be more space to practice.
"I'll admit I'm not that skilled at hand-to-hand combat," Kesuk says nervously.
"I'll teach you what I learned in the army," Vasa promises. Though Kesuk's hunting skills are superb, it is true that his lack of military training may become a problem. His aim with a bow is excellent, but I'm unsure how well he is able to defend himself without it.
I glance towards Asteria. "And I can help you practice as well," I say, a truth that also disguises the fact that Asteria is only going to practice her magic in front of me for the time being.
"Perhaps we should all practice together," Kesuk suggests.
"I am afraid I am quite nervous training in front of men," Asteria says with a sweet frailty that hopes to lessen any suspicion around the subject. "I would feel more comfortable if it were just Fetia and me for a little while."
"That is fine with me," I say, hoping to ease any worries Kesuk and Vasa might have. Vasa's shoulders exhale with a sigh, but neither him nor Kesuk argue with the decision. I wish the two good luck on their training, then lead Asteria farther into the woods until we reach a point not completely out of earshot, but hidden enough so that we can be afforded privacy.
As we walk, a chill runs through my body. The air is particularly cold this morning, leaving my breaths to come out in light puffs. I rub my hands together, trying to bring warmth to them. Suddenly, I am eager to train for the first time in months again, hopeful that it will at least succeed in raising my body temperature.
Asteria looks toward the lake, but I shake my head.
"I think we should work on teaching you some self-defense first," I state.
I position myself into the fighting stance my mother once taught me, bending my knees slightly and keeping my toes pointed forward. My hands raise and heels move upward as I distribute my weight into a comfortable position.
"This should be your starting stance," I explain to Asteria. "We'll have to modify these moves if there's a heavy weapon slung to your back, but in the case of hand-to-hand, this is a good start. Give it a try and copy me."
Asteria attempts to mimic my stance, but does so clumsily. I let go of my stance and assist her. My hand hesitantly finds her back to help her stand straighter, and my palms gently grasp her wrists to demonstrate where her hands should go. We are both quiet as I teach her, and I wonder suddenly if the winter morning is beginning to feel as warm to her as it is to me.
Asteria practices getting into the correct stance a few times before I begin to teach her some basic punching and kicking tactics. I demonstrate in the air a few times, wishing I had a suitable partner to better illustrate my moves. Although, if Kiana were here, I am sure I would be the one lying on the forest floor during our demonstration.
"I want to try," Asteria says.
I nod and get into my stance, motioning her towards me. Her steps are clumsy, and she is uncoordinated as she swings her leg at me. I easily dodge, and quickly, I use her poor balance to knock her to the ground. She hits the forest floor with a loud thud and lets out a hiss of pain. I lean over her, unable to hold back my laughter.
"Sorry. Are you all right?" I ask. I extend my hands towards her, helping her to her feet. She annoyingly wipes dirt and twigs from her gown.
"I'm fine," she says. "Although I am not sure I can take being thrown onto the ground every time we spar. Perhaps you could be gentler next time?"
"I'll try my best."
Asteria raises an eyebrow at me.
"What?"
"It is only that...if you are this skilled at combat, then surely you could have fought the maids that evening they attacked you."
I bite my lip. "I could not reveal my skills to them! It would have compromised my plans."
"You're sure you were not just trying to seek out my company?" she asks, a smirk on her face. I hate that my lips to curl into a smile no matter how hard I try to resist.
"No! I did not even know you would rescue me that night," I argue.
Asteria's hand gently touches my shoulder. "Relax," she says. "I'm only teasing. Shall we try again?"
We practice a few more times, though each move always seems to end with Asteria landing on the forest floor. I can tell her patience is thinning the more we spar.
"I thought you were going to let me practice," she says, annoyed, as I help her up again.
"Do you think soldiers are going to stand there unmoving if you come charging? Come on. Let's try again."
Asteria and I ready ourselves to spar once more, though this time, when she charges, there is more determination in her eyes. I move my arms to block her, but her kick manages to catch my heel, and I lose my balance. Asteria is too surprised at the fact that she successfully got a hit in that she does not move, and we end up colliding into each other. I let out a sound of surprise as we tumble together on the forest floor. I glance down, finding my body pressed against hers. Her laughter echoes below me, bringing warmth to the cold winter morning.
I lean up on my arms and stare down at her. "Are you okay?" I ask, worried I have hurt her.
She laughs. "I'm quite fine. I'm thrilled I finally managed to disarm you."
"Only temporarily," I say. I reach out to remove a spare twig from her hair, and only then notice her burning stare beneath me. I become hyperaware of the heat of her body beneath mine and the rise and fall of her chest. I find my eyes gravitating towards her lips again, although I know I cannot be tempted this time. I quickly clear my throat and move my body off hers.
"We should practice your magic now. I think that was enough of a lesson for today," I say, quickly averting my gaze so she cannot see the blush rising in my cheeks.
"Yes, I suppose that would be for the best," Asteria says. Whatever moment almost did or did not transpire between us flits away into the woods. "Let's go down to the lake, then."
"Do you think you will be able to perform your same technique as in Magnuvia?" I ask as I accompany Asteria down to the shore.
"I believe so. We'll have to see," she says. She plays nervously with the sleeve of her gown. I want to reach out and grab her hand, but I keep my arms to my sides and find a comfortable seat on a rock nearby as she removes her shoes and wades into the water.
Asteria stands in the lake and lowers her hand to the frigid water beneath her. She takes a deep breath and shut her eyes. As she concentrates, the water begins to ripple around her, and then, she winces. I wonder if that is the magic making contact with her body.
This is normally when I would expect her to use her magic in the beautiful way it was gifted to her â to make flowers bloom and manipulate branches, but her palms remain in the water. I open my mouth, about to ask if perhaps she is unable to suck up Flumensian magic like Magnuvian magic, but then, her knees buckle.
"Asteria!" I shout, quickly rushing to my side. Her body leans into mine as she nearly collapses into my arms. I grip her waist and help her out of the water, eventually lowering her to a seated position on a rock near the shore.
"I'm fine," she says, patting my arm.
"Are you sure?" I ask, slowly removing my grip from her.
She nods, though she remains seated. "It is going to take some time getting used to having magic flowing through my veins again," she says. "Especially in large amounts."
"Then do not push yourself," I warn. "Especially if it drains your energy."
Asteria nods. "I will have to practice."
"How do you feel?" I ask nervously.
She flexes her fingers and circles her wrist. "Now that the initial exhaustion is wearing off...more powerful than before. I almost forgot what this sort of rush felt like."
"I know what you mean," I say. She looks at me in curiosity. "My mother would have us ingest the liquid from crystals in the Landiani Caves before we sparred. It always helped me feel stronger, though I always felt uncomfortable at the fact we were using it."
Asteria nods, having expressed similar sentiments. She opens her mouth, and I expect a lecture on what a hypocrite I am, but then she smiles.
"Perhaps we should have waited to spar until after I had used some magic," Asteria jokes.
"I believe that would have been an unfair advantage," I say. "I don't think you should practice any more today."
"But I want to try something," Asteria says.
Before I can stop her, she reaches her hand out, and the lake's water begins rippling around her feet. She moves her hand back and forth, the water accompanying her movements. My eyes widen in surprise.
"Fascinating," Asteria says.
"Did you know you would be able to do that?" I ask Asteria.
"I suspected," Asteria says. "I was able to manipulate the earth around me in Magnuvia because the magic was stored in the forest. I figured since Flumensia's magic is stored in its lakes..."
"That you'd be able to manipulate the water," I realize.
"And I'm sure if I were in Kilneu, I'd be able to control the earth of the mountainside," Asteria says. "Of course, the main reason to use magic is to strengthen my physical capabilities, but at least now I know how my powers react with Flumensian magic."
"Can you still manipulate the flowers and trees?" I ask.
"Hm..." Asteria twirls her hand, and from the damp soil of the lake's shore, a pink flower blooms. She gently drops the flower in the palm of my hands.
"I think as long as the lake's water has dampened the earth, I can use my magic the same way as I did in Magnuvia, but if I'm away from Flumensia's magic source, I probably cannot. Oh well. It was a fascinating experiment all the same. Do you want another flower?"
I narrow my eyes. "I said you should stop using magic for today."
"Ah, but it would be a waste not to use it at all," Asteria says, as she raises another one from the earth. I open my mouth to protest, but the damage has already been done. She once again drops the flower into my palm.
"Thank you," I murmur, gently slipping the two flowers into my pants pocket.
"Let's go meet the others," Asteria says.
"I think it might also be helpful if we got some clothing for you more suitable for fighting," I say as I walk beside her. "Your dress is going to be too constricting."
"I suppose so," Asteria says. "Though I have never worn anything else. It will be strange wearing pants. It won't be very befitting of a royal. Alba may just have a heart attack."
"I think you'll just have to bear it," I say. "Let's plan to practice again tomorrow morning. I think you should go lie down the rest of the day."
I can tell Asteria wants to argue with me in the way her teeth clench, but she finally makes a sound of agreement. We tread back towards where we left Kesuk and Vasa, finding they have neared the end of their practice session as well.
"I hope the princess was a quicker learner than I was," Kesuk says, rubbing his back. I can only imagine, like Asteria, he was thrown onto the floor multiple times by Vasa. Perhaps Vasa is uncoordinated, but his strength alone easily outweighs Kesuk's.
"I am afraid Fetia is a strict teacher," Asteria says.
Kesuk frowns. "And here I was hoping we could trade."
They share a laugh together, but Vasa's face twists into annoyance. It is an expression I have seen him wear more often than not lately. As we return to the cottage, he is unusually silent in a way that almost makes me crave his annoying chatter.
Upon returning to the cottage, Alba is seated in the living room, folding the princess's laundry.
"Welcome back, Princess," she says upon Asteria's entry. "I believe that Arabelle and the guards are going to go into town in a moment. We are running out of ingredients, and..." She pauses when she sees Asteria holding her head to her hand.
"Princess?" Alba asks. Immediately, her gaze turns to me. "What did you do?"
My eyes widen. "Me?!"
"Stop. I am fine," Asteria says. "I am merely having a headache. Please give Arabelle a list of items you desire, and in addition, could you ask her to purchase some clothes that would be suitable for me to fight in?"
"Suitable?" Alba questions.
"Pants," Asteria responds.
Alba seems shocked at the suggestion, and she quickly follows Asteria further into her room to chastise her further. I chuckle, then notice Vasa standing in the corner of the kitchen, still wearing a sour expression.
"Can you help me make lunch?" he asks.
I nod, and we begin preparing a stew with the leftover ingredients we have in the kitchen. I rummage through cupboards, making sounds of disappointment when I realize how little food we have left.
"I suppose it is good Arabelle will be shopping today," I say. "I am not sure we would have been able to feed everyone more than another day."
"Yes I suppose so," Vasa grumbles as we begin cutting up vegetables.
"What's troubling you?" I ask, lowering my voice.
"What?"
I roll my eyes. "You cannot think you are being convincing with that attitude. I haven't seen you show a smile all day. Is something going on?"
"You seem to be spending a lot of time with the princess," Vasa says.
"So? She is our ally now," I explain, though nerves shoot up my body.
"Why did you not tell Kesuk and me that she can use magic?" Vasa asks more seriously.
"Well...that was not more for me to share."
"Perhaps it would be helpful if Kesuk and I knew more about your time serving in Esterpool, at least so we can understand the princess better. There appears to be more than you are letting on," Vasa says.
Panic begins to flood through me, then. I do not think him smart enough to realize our past love affair, but I begin to fear the possibility of him and Kesuk finding out. I bite my lip, wondering what they would think of me. Would they hate me for loving her? Would they find me disgusting? Would they leave me behind, no longer wishing to aid me with my plans?
I grip my blouse, attempting to stop my trembling hand, and suck in a deep breath.
"I am sorry that I kept her powers from you. I did not know if she would be willing to use them, and frankly, I still do not think she should."
"Regardless, you should not be keeping her so close," Vasa warns. "Kesuk and I have barely had a chance to speak with you since she arrived. Shouldn't you be primarily confiding in us? You may trust her, but I certainly do not."
Guilt floods through me, then. I know that he is right, that my moments with him and Kesuk have become far too limited. Despite the distance I have tried to put between myself and Asteria, I still cannot help but chase after her. She is like an addiction I cannot break free from.
"I'm sorry. You're right," I say.
Vasa seems surprised by this response. "No, don't feel the need to apologize. It's only...this is your plan. We want to know how you think it is progressing, not the princess or Alba or the guards. Do you still believe in this plan, Fetia?"
"Yes," I say without another thought. "I think having Asteria on our side gives us an immense advantage and that we need to see the coup through. And I'm looking forward to travelling to Kilkwood in a few days. Thank you for cooperating with her and Alba, even though I know it pains you both. I promise they are not bad individuals once you get to know themâ"
"That Alba seems ready to have my head on a stick."
"Er, well, she perhaps takes a little longer to warm up to. However, I have no doubt we will make great strides in building support now that they are here with us. This is the best option we have right now. I fear if we had stuck to our original plan, we would not have made it far."
"If you think this will work, then Kesuk and I will follow you," Vasa says, even if his annoyance is still clear. It is a mature response I did not expect from him. I wonder when that change came about, as surely, looking at Vasa now, this cannot be the same boy who I dreaded having us join on our mission just weeks prior.
"Thank you," I say. I begin stirring the stew, but I notice Vasa's burning stare again. This time, true concern reflects in his eyes.
"Fetia, please be careful," he says.
"What do you mean?"
"I promise I am not saying this out of any past feelings, but as your friend, please know I care for you. I worry about you getting hurt by getting involved with the princess. I know you trust her, but...be cautious. From an outsider perspective, involving ourselves with her seems dangerous," he says.
His words give me pause, but I cannot heed them entirely.
"Thanks for your concern. I promise I know what I am doing," I say.
I continue stirring the stew, and our conversation effectively ends there, even if I know he is not satisfied with my answer. I wring my fingers together, thinking how it would be easier if I could just be honest about my proximity to the princess. Vasa and Kesuk are my allies, and they have stuck with me time and time again, but I am still frightened by their potential reaction to my feelings for the princess.
For now, as we make preparations to head to Kilkwood, I will continue keeping my history with the princess secret.