sammm
sammm
are you ok?
you stayed with juliet right?
catalina
catalina
hey, i'm sorry for giving you that, i shouldn't have
are you okay now?
ash ;)
ash ;)
why you not answerin ya phone
yo lani
call me
wya ???
yo
wtf liani
you ight ?
liani was having a hard time focusing in school the next day, the pill had wore off but for some reason she still felt weird. she had been having a headache since the moment she woke up, and due to that she had been feeling dizzy and sick to her stomach.
but even with all of this, she lied and said she was okay to everyone who asked her.
she had also been ignoring all of her messages and calls, it was a bad habit she had whenever she wasn't sober. she didn't mean to ignore it, she just... forgets to answer.
she watched the clock that was hung up on the wall of her class, squinting her eyes as she watched the time move so slowly. she felt like she was spinning, and because of it she felt nauseous. she was silently praying she would throw up and embarrass herself in front of everyone.
she felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned her head. "are you okay?" lianis teacher asked her, leaning down so she could examine her face.
liani furrowed her eyebrows, moving her head back a little. "yep." she popped the p.
"you don't look good, liani." she whispered.
liani sighed at the feeling of eyes on her, and leaned back in her chair. "i feel fine." she lied.
the teacher didn't believe her, but she still slowly nodded and stood back up. "okay.." liani watched her walk away, her eyes shutting before she laid her head down on her desk.
catalina seemed lien a fun person to be around, but after yesterday liani didn't exactly know if it would be a good thing for the two to hangout. she didn't blame the girl for making her feel the way she did now, she did say yes to taking the pill.
as soon as the bell rung liani stood to her feet, grabbing her phone and walking out of the classroom. every time she stood up from sitting down in one of her classes she immediately felt dizzy, more than she already did, and decided to would take the rest of the day off.
so instead of walking in the direction of her next glass, she turned on her heels and walked straight down the hall and out of the door. the bright sun made her squint her eyes.
she swung her arms back and forth as she walked, she didn't want to go home. the night before her mother had helped her to her room, and she felt awkward seeing her after it. the last thing she wanted was to turn into her mom, and she was doing exactly that.
she pulled out her phone from her back jeans pocket, reading all her notifications and messages she had gotten. with a sigh, she answered her friends messages before walking in the direction of fezcos store. she knew ashtray was upset with her, and wanted him to know that she was okay, alive.
entering the store, both faye and fezcos heads. "heyy!" faye dragged, smiling at liani. "bro, lani where you been?" fezco asked, he sounded worried which made liani feel bad.
"uh, school.. home, i'm sorry." she apologized, as he just nodded and she heading to the back.
pushing the freezer door open, ashtrays head raised and he quickly stood up, "where the fuck have you been, liani?"
she put her arms up, "school."
he furrowed his eyebrows, "you couldn't answer me?"
"i'm sorry." she simply said.
he shook his head, he looked at her for a couple seconds before stepping closer, "are you high?"
"no." she answered.
"have you been drinking?" he asked.
liani decided it was best if she just old him the truth, instead of having him question her. "i took a pill yesterday, i justâ kind of feel a little dizzy, but i'm fine."
"what kinda pill?" he squinted his eyes, now worried on what she had drugged herself with.
"umm, i don't know, i didn't ask." she shrugged.
he sat down with a sigh, going silent for a couple seconds. she leaned against the wall with her arms crossed as she looked at her feet.
"yo, for real, i think you need to stay sober." he lowly spoke.
she looked up at him, "that's shits not good for you and you can't control it."
she didnt know how to respond, so she just listened to him talk.
"i mean it, ma. you needa stay clean. no drinking, nothin." he finalized.
she slowly nodded her head, a small sigh leaving her mouth. he wasn't the only person that had told her this, and even she knew it would be best if she stopped doing her bad habits, but it made her feel alive. she didn't mean to worry her friends, or her boyfriend, it just happens. "okay." she mumbled.
ashtray wanted to believe liani would actually do it, but he knew her. all he could do was hope she would.
liani sat in the passenger seat of fezcos car, ashtray in the drivers seat as he was about to drive to lianis house. liani had her head leaned back against the seat, looking out the window at the cars that drove passed and how the water on the street, due to the rain, splash.
she was cold, and hugging ashtrays hoodie closer to her stomach. she still had a huge headache, and for some reason she was extremely tired and she felt sad.
"you know, when i was younger me and my mom got along really well. she started drinking a couple years ago and started leaving me home alone for days, at first i was really upset and i was scared but i guess overtime i just got used to it." liani spoke quietly.
she wasn't meaning to rant, she just had so much on her mind that she spoke out loud.
"i never hated her for it, though. my dad left when i was young so she was all i had, but when i started being friends with juliet she was all i needed. i don't even think i hate my mom now, even after she hit me and everything." she let out a breath, "i don't know. i think it's because i'm just like her." she let out a breathy chuckle, "last night, when i went home, she helped me up to my room and told me i needed to get some rest. that was the first motherly thing she's said to me in longer than i can remember."
her eyes closed as she paid attention to her breathing. "me and you are very similar, ash." she joked. "i mean, she's barely at home and she's not much a mother to me and my dad left so, practically parentless."
ashtray listened to every word she said, watching as she sat there with her eyes closed. he knew something was going on with her.
"it's ironic that i don't want to end up like her." liani bit her lip. "i already am."
AUTHORS NOTES:
i think the saddest part about the ending of my last book is maddy finding her....... so sorry for that btw