Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Where the hell is Frankie?

Breathe, bitch, breathe.

The air pushing through my lips is rife with pain. I don’t like this. I’m not ready. I need someone else in this room other than the soothing sounds of Angela Lansbury solving crime in the murder capital of the world of Cabot Cove, Maine. The TV is great background noise for cleaning, working, sorting through invoices, but for childbirth?

‘Ooooooo, this nosy woman is annoying. For God’s sake let the people murder in peace,’ I whimper through another contraction.

The sterility of the room is obnoxious with its overly pungent odor of something. It’s cleaned, but I can’t tell with what. It’s not bleach, but it’s definitely clean. The lights are too bright. I’m sweaty from doing all the work. Baby girl is not helping this labor out one bit, but I’m also freezing.

That’s when I see the height darkening the doorway is not that of my sweet nurse, Twyla, but of the man who caused all these issues.

‘Valentino. I’m sorry,’ I huff out. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

The tears fall immediately as he comes to me, taking me in his arms, rather awkwardly to not tear out my IV or disconnect the various sensors tracking my labor.

‘We’ll talk later. How far along are we?’ he asks, looking around for help or someone to yell at.

‘What happened to your hand?’ I ask him, through panting breaths. There are scars along his forearm.

‘I broke it,’ Twyla says as she enters the room. She’s grinning ear to ear when she says it. I look at her and Valentino who’s turning a deep shade of red.

He leans down to tell me, ‘She’s a bone breaker.’

‘I break bones for the broken hearted,’ Twyla says. ‘Now, what I need you to do, Mr. Barrone, is to stand aside. Your beloved is in labor six weeks early. We thought we could stop it, but the baby is coming whether you want her to or not.’

‘It’s a girl?’ Valentino smiles with his eyes wide.

‘Yeah, did I say I was sorry, Val?’ I ask him again.

Twyla clears her throat to continue talking. ‘You need to focus all of your good energy. No apologies during birth or you will bring a sorry ass human into this world. We don’t need a little girl apologizing for simply being, right? Okay. Now, Dr. Monroe is the anesthesiologist who will come in to give you an epidural. I will hold you in place and you will not move Miss Bonetti. Clear?’

‘Yes, Twyla.’ I nod just as a group of doctors come into the room. Valentino moves to stand between us, but I grab his hand to stand him down, telling him. ‘It’s okay, Val. It’s a teaching hospital. I gave them permission to monitor since it’s a premature birth.’

‘Is there anything wrong with—’ He doesn’t finish the question, seemingly out of fear.

The emergency OB on duty steps forward to take advantage of the teaching moment. He assures Valentino that nothing is wrong with me or the baby. It’s just time. They’ve checked me for all kinds of diseases, illnesses, infections, allergies, and drugs, but sometimes these things just happen when they’re supposed to.

My feet are in stirrups while Twyla positions herself in front of me, the back of my gown open and Valentino staring helplessly as Dr. Bastian, the OB, talks to the team of doctors, narrating how Dr. Monroe administers an epidural.

The cool vapor traveling down my spine immediately numbs the pain from my stomach to my feet.

‘Holy fuck that feels good,’ I whisper.

‘You’ll get a dose every few hours until you’re about nine or ten centimeters. We’ll check to see if you’re ready to push and then no more because you need to feel it to push that baby out,’ Dr. Monroe says before making an exit.

The rest of the team asks a few questions, but a few minutes later, I’m lying on my side with Valentino sitting in the chair beside my bed. I can see him stewing, the anger rumbling, and I don’t want him to be upset, but Frankie warned me this would happen.

‘Valentino,’ I say his name calmly, which draws his gaze, but it softens as he focuses on me. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Lia, that is far too loaded of a question for me to answer right now. Do you need anything? Do you like this room? I know it’s just you, but there’s another bed over there. You could get a roommate or something while we wait for our baby girl’s arrival. I can put you in the private wing.’

‘I’m fine right here. Thank you for coming.’

He sighs. ‘Don’t. We’re not going to have this argument. Let’s just keep the peace until after she’s here safe and sound. Then we can flip the furniture, okay?’

‘It’s not going to be an argument. I’m going to apologize and we’re going to move forward.’

‘Because my feelings don’t matter in this situation, at all? They’re not even worth discussing. Is that what you’re saying?’ He pushes himself out of the chair, leaning in close so only I can hear him. ‘I spent three months in and out of this hospital because I felt broken and nothing could fix me. I’ve buried men and secrets for you.’

His voice breaks as his eyes well with tears. I don’t have the gall to interrupt or interject because he’s right.

‘I’ve done things to protect your family that would get me killed and you leave me a fucking letter. I love you, Lia. I would have told you as much if you’d given me the chance. I wanted the chance to prove it to you before I said it. I needed to show you the kind of man I was that deserved your love. And I’m only worth a fucking apology, and moving forward? No discussion? No communication for months before you turn up in a hospital having my child. You put both of your lives in danger … but that’s it for the man you could have loved? Fuck.’ He nods as if some notion is settling over him. A new realization for the future ahead of us replaces the confusion in those icy blue eyes. ‘I’m coming back, Lia. I just need some air. Is that okay? Do you even want me here?’

I hold back my tears because even through that, he’s still bending for my comfort. ‘Yes, I do. Come back. We’ll talk later.’

He walks out of the room, pulling the hospital garb off and turning out of my sight.

I want to implode, to sink down into my bed because I shouldn’t have said that. I know he means more to me, but if we don’t move forward, then that means sitting in the choices we’ve made. I don’t want to linger in the chaos. I don’t want to dwell in misery. I want to bask in the joy of motherhood. To read our baby bedtime stories while he warms bottles.

That’s when it hits me. Perhaps, it’s the same realization that Valentino just came to. If I weren’t here visiting Frankie, none of that would happen. Valentino would never know. I would have gone into labor in fucking Pilsner, South Carolina and not said a single word to anyone because that’s how we’re built in this survive or thrive, hustle and go, lifestyle of New York. We scratch off life events like they’re on a to-do list without taking in the actual accomplishment of life.

I know I can do this without Valentino. Hell, I’ve been pregnant this long and so lonely, but I don’t want to do this alone. Not without Val. Not without Frankie. Not without family.

‘Is this the room of the Barrone baby?’ A shrill voice comes from the doorway that brings me out of my thoughts and forces me to turn onto my other side, mindful of all the wires coming out of me.

‘Yeah. Can I help you?’

‘Oh honey, I’m Grandma. It’s such a pleasure to meet you. My name is Hera, Hera Fasano.’

That name doesn’t sound familiar at all.

‘Not Barrone?’ I ask, skepticism lacing my tone.

She waves a hand at me. ‘I’ve only just come back to the city a few weeks ago. I was in such a state of shock when Valley told me he was having a baby. I just knew I couldn’t wait to meet you.’

‘Oh?’ She’s giving me the ick. I don’t know who this woman is or why she’s lying to me of all people, but she needs to leave. Still, I am curious. ‘When did Valley tell you about the baby? He hasn’t mentioned you to me at all.’

‘We’ve been having a little tiff. Don’t worry, you’ll see when yours is all grown up and talkin’ back. But yeah, we spoke a few weeks ago and he mentioned something about a baby shower. So listen. I need a favor. I’m trying to get back in Valley’s good graces and would love to stop by, maybe drop something off for the baby. Where are you guys staying these days?’

‘None of your fucking business,’ Valentino says from behind her. ‘Security!’

I thought Valentino was mad at me. No. He’s upset with me. There’s still love in his eyes even as he lays his feelings out for me to stomp all over. The vile, pure hatred, venomous glare he doles out to the woman calling herself his mother is something different.

It’s that beast in him that he tries to hide from me. That piece of him he likes me to beat up on.

‘Shit,’ Hera huffs under her breath. She slowly turns around as two burly looking NYPD officers stand behind Valentino.

‘I want her arrested for trespassing, harassment, and any other charge you can make stick. I want security on high alert that this woman is a threat to the safety of my child and the mother of my child. I do not want Hera Fasano anywhere near us. Am I making myself clear?’

‘Crystal, sir.’ The officer nods with fear in his eyes as his partner grips Hera by the arm to shuffle her out of the room.

Valentino rushes over to me. ‘Are you okay? I’m fucking sorry about that, about her. She popped up on me earlier today. That woman is up to something. I can fucking feel it. Lia?’

‘Yes, Val?’

‘Will you please come home with me and let me keep you safe?’

‘Yes, Val. I will.’