"Oliver? What are you doing here?"
Oliver's face crumpled up as he looked at the man in front of him. He couldn't bear being alone after what happened on the roof. His thoughts were too loud and he needed someone to distract him. It was late. Nearly two am. But he really couldn't be alone so he came to the only place he believed he would face the least amount of judgement.
"I-I'm a fuck-up..." Oliver tearfully admitted, to the man's surprise. "I'm a narcissist who takes everything for granted. I'm spoilt and selfish and ego-driven. I-I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm a gas-lighter. I'm a bad person. And I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." Oliver looked down, his tears hitting the 'Welcome' doormat.
His father quickly embraced him in a tight hug. "Don't say that..."
Oliver sobbed into his chest. "It's true..."
Ed's arms tightened around him. "Come in. Let's go sit down."
He followed his dad into the living room. It had been months since he stepped foot into his dad's house but nothing had really change. He silently planted himself on the edge of the sofa as his father sat down beside him.
Oliver rubbed his nose with the back of his sleeve before attempting to straighten up and clear his throat. "I..uh.. I'm sorry about Alexander's birthday. And for wrecking the car. I'll pay for-"
"Oliver.."
Oliver mentally prepared for a loud lecture from his father. Instead his father hugged him again, much to his surprise.
"I'm so glad you're safe. I was looking everywhere for you. I have been going out of my mind, imagining the worst scenarios. Are you okay?"
Oliver let out a shaky breath. "No..."
"Do you want an aspirin or something? I think-"
"No, no. I... I'm just really damn sad, Dad."
Ed slowly nodded as if he understood just how forlorn his son was. But he couldn't, could he?
"Tell me why."
"I... I lost everything. And it's no one's fault but mine... I ruined everything."
"I'm sure you have made mistakes but you can try and fix them-"
"Everything I have done is irreversible. I crossed the point of no return."
"Of course your actions are irreversible. But that doesn't mean you can't fix what you did."
Oliver shook his head in resignation. "It's too late. I'm nothing, Dad..."
Ed took a moment to think before exhaling slowly. "Sometimes you terrify me. Not because of your addictions or actions but because I see myself in you. I see a young man with so much potential playing this losing game with drugs and alcohol."
Oliver looked around the grand living room and expensive upholstery. "I think things worked out for you. You're successful..."
Ed leaned back. "At what cost? I'm proud of myself. Not because of my money or company but because of my sobriety. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to achieve. You're so much like me when I was your age. The only difference is that you still have a chance to change your life. I didn't realise how much I needed to change until it was too late. I lost my wife. I lost you for a while. All because I thought I needed alcohol more than I needed you. I... I wasn't a good person."
Oliver remembered scenes from his childhood of his father's drunken rampages. He used to be such a different man. But despite Ed Scott's transformation, one niggling question always remained in Oliver's mind.
"Do you hate me, Dad?"
Ed's face twisted. "No. How can you say that?"
"You never approve of anything I do..."
"Oliver... that's not true. I'm so proud of your achievements. I'm sorry if I put too much pressure on you but it's only because I see your potential. You are... my entire life. I want nothing but your happiness. It pains me to see you like this. I know you probably don't want to start thinking about this but... I think you should consider rehab."
"Dad-"
His father raised his hand. "No. Don't give me an answer now. Just... think about it."
Rehab sounded like a nightmare void of autonomy. He was scared it would cause him more stress than he could handle. But the main reason he didn't want to go was ironically because of how hard it would be to get alcohol there if things went wrong.
Oliver sighed and nodded. "So it's genetic then?"
"What?"
"Alcoholism"
Ed shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think so. I think when you have the money we have and the status we have it's very hard not to turn to alcohol because alcohol can either be mind-blowing fun in our otherwise boring lives or mind-numbingly muffling in our otherwise messy lives. Either way, it's only temporary and that's why we think we need it constantly. "
"It numbs the pain..." Oliver murmured.
"What's causing you this pain?"
There wasn't a single source to all his pain. But there was one issue that particularly weighed him down. Oliver looked down at his hands. Should he tell him? Would his father hate him if he told him?
"I..."
His mind flashed back to Charlie's face and his arms around him and his lips on his and for a split second, Oliver was transported back to time where everything was okay. But then that pain kicked in.
"I'm in love," Oliver eventually admitted.
Ed sighed. "Maybe it's time to move on from Nora..."
"No. Not her. I'm... I'm in love with a man."
Oliver looked at his father to see his reaction. Ed's mouth quickly opened and shut as he processed the information.
"That's... that's wonderful, Oliver. I'm happy for you."
Oliver let out a small sigh of relief. "Charlie Kingsley."
"Spencer Kingsley's brother?"
Oliver nodded.
"Ah... so that's who you were calling from stage... "
Oliver cringed at the memory. Noticing this, his father quipped a quick apology for reminding him.
"I ruined my chances with him. He hates me."
"Has he said he hates you?"
Oliver shrugged. "No... But I'm certain he does."
Ed patted his shoulder. "It's never too late to change your life. But the change has to start by trying to overcome your addictions, Oliver."
Oliver felt the urge to say he wasn't addicted to anything. But he knew now that wasn't true.
"I... I want to get help Dad. But I can't. I can't bring myself to go to rehab. It seems so useless. Like trying to fight a wave by standing in front of it."
"It helps. I promise it does-"
"I don't want to go."
"But Oliver-"
"I said no!"
Ed lips's flattened into a thin line. An awkward silence fell between them. Ed sighed for the umpteenth time in their conversation. But it wasn't a sigh of disappointment, more of a sigh of acceptance.
"Okay. Then come to AA with my tomorrow."
Oliver wanted to laugh at the thought but that would offend his father.
"I'm good."
"Don't underestimate AA meetings. They were my first step to recovery. I went to my first one in the middle of the night years ago. And it changed my life. I stayed quiet for the first few months but I listened to everyone's stories and... it changed me. Oliver, please come."
His father took his wallet from the table and dug into it, taking our a bronze coin with the number thirteen carved into the middle of it. Oliver remained quiet, pondering over the thought of sitting in a circle with strangers of the same vice.
"Thirteen years I have been sober. It would have been fifteen years but I relapsed a few times. But I have been going strong for thirteen years. I recovered. And you can too."
"Okay... I'll... I'll come," Oliver said, wiping the remainder of his tears from his cheeks.
"Thank you. And please know that I love you, Oliver. I don't say it enough but I love you more than anything or anyone in this world."
As they both stood up, Oliver hugged his dad. They had probably hugged more times that day than they had in the past twenty-three years. But he liked it. Oliver liked seeing this side of his father.
"I love you too, Dad."
⢠⢠â¢
The image attached is taken from the 'Profuse Opulence' Pinterest board by the wonderful ashes-and-unicorns . It's such an amazing Pinterest board and I really recommend checking it out if you haven't already!
Love you all. Only 8 more chapters and an epilogue (which will end the ENTIRE series!!). Thank you all for your patience. I really hope to have this book finished by the end of the year.
Love,
-hexed
Ps- don't forget to vote and comment plz!