Chapter 14

I'm dedicating this to ToastedBagels because I absolutely loved her book Accidental Tourists and Float is great too! Charlie and Trevor! Her writing is great and it reminds me of Sara Dessen.

Silly me, look what I did again

I found what I want

Is what I cannot have

I didn't mean to be so predictable

But I blame it all on who made you irresistible

And it isn't something I need

'til you tell me I can't

Why wear my heart on my sleeve

When it looks so good in your hand?

My heart breaks in a heart beat

And you storm me when you come and go

Artist: Sara Barellies

Song: Undertow

Sage’s Pov.

“Aubrey I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Zac warned actually on my side.

“Come on Zac, she’s twenty-one and about to marry him, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping on a bed with him. It’s not like he’s going to rape her.” Aubrey told him flipping her hair over shoulder and laying back onto the couch.

“Aubrey you can’t just push-“ I cut him off. I appreciated what Zac was trying to do, but there was no point, Aubrey was not someone you wanted to argue with and I could spend one night with Blaze. I mean my attraction had to be only visibly deep. I was only attracted to his face, I think.

“It’s fine Zac. She’s right; I might as well get use to sleeping with him since we’ll be doing it every day soon enough.” I told him proud that I actually got that out without stuttering.

“Doing it every day huh?”That slow Taylor smirk appeared on Aubrey’s face.

I sighed and threw my head back into the seat, pushing my knees up to my chin. Aubrey seemed to have that deep thought look on her face. The same one Zac got the other day when he said I was going to fall in love with Blaze, and I tried to smother him with a pillow.

“You two sure are a weird couple. Like I understand no PDA but like it’s just us here, and Sage is sitting all the way across the room from Blaze, and you barely touch. Once again the only way I could tell there was something there was the kiss you two shared in the car in front of my house.” I’m also beginning to think these siblings had a thing for always trying to decode things.

“What do you want me to do, go sit on him?” I asked sarcastically, but this only seemed to please her.

“Well yeah! If anything during the movie or something” Aubrey nodded, and I felt like shooting myself in the foot for even mentioning it.

We turned off the lights and slid the snacks in front of all of our backs against the long couch. We were watching Grown Ups 2, and I was beginning to like this movie. Zac fell asleep half-way through, Mark and Aubrey were whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears smiling, and Blaze and I were sitting awkwardly close. I was sitting on his lap, our legs tangled and I was resting my head on his shoulder. I know this was uncomfortable for both of us because of how tense we were.

“Smooth move,” he whispered into my ear.

“Well I’m sorry; I didn’t expect her to take it literally.” I whispered forcefully back, my lips brushed his ear lobe and he shuddered. I wiggled around on his lap trying to get comfortable, because if I was going to have to be on his lap for a while longer, then I was going to be comfortable.

“Stop moving,” Blaze hissed in my ear.

“Then be more comfortable,” I told him in my regular voice, I moved a little more till I felt something. What the hell was that? I wiggled a little more until Blaze grabbed my hips.

“Sage, stop fucking moving” he growled breathily.

“Blaze what the hell is that?” I asked trying to move out of his grip.

“What are you two over there bickering about? Shut up, I’m trying to watch the movie.” Aubrey scolded her gaze lowered flicking popcorn at us.

“Let go, I’m getting up to use the bathroom.” I pulled out of his grip and got up half-way only to be pulled down on his lap, onto something hard and it was poking into my upper thigh.

“Blaze what’s on your—“ Then my innocent mind decided to finally catch on. Blaze didn’t want me to move because I was covering a h- a-the—the little Blaze.

“Oh my god you have-“ He covered my mouth with his hand, and I licked it like when he did it the last time.

“Eww Sage, that’s gross!” He told me wiping my saliva onto my shirt.

“No what’s gross is-“ He covered my mouth with his hand once again. Was he not going to learn?

“Sage, shh Aubrey doesn’t need to know.” He mumbled into my hair that he was resting his chin in.

“Why does it do that?” He gave me a look saying that it was a stupid question, “I mean I know why, I meant how did it happen?” I explained looking into his clear green eyes.

He sighed, “I told you to stop moving Sage, I am a guy, and they come very easily especially when a girl keeps rubbing against it.”

“Well make it go away! It’s weird; I can’t go to sleep knowing you have that!” I insisted poking him in the chest. He grabbed my hand and pushed it back to my side.

“It’ll go away, just stop moving. I need you to stay completely still.”

“Why don’t I just get off-“ He cut me off with his loud outburst.

“No!” Aubrey looked over and gave us a ‘what the fuck?’ look and I just offered her a small smile.

“Do you want Aubrey to hold this over our head for weeks to come?” I shook my head against his chin.

“Well since the movie is over and I want Sage’s breakfast in the morning, we’re gonna call it a night. Oh and remember to wake my idiot brother over there up.” She pulled her dazed and half asleep boyfriend up into my room, the place I longed to be. This day was long and I was ready to get away from Blaze, we’ve gone through too much in one day.

“I’ll wake Zac, you go handle—handle that.” I told Blaze pointing to his crotch, which I looked at, not on purpose though, that was making a tent in his pants. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even make eye-contact with him. I’ve bet plenty of girls seen the real thing before, which is probably why he’s not embarrassed that I said something about it. It kind made me sick to think about all the other girls, but then again, this wasn’t real and I wasn’t his real fiancé.

He left to his room; our room, to go fix his problem and I pulled and tugged on Zac’s arm to get him up. He was the heaviest sleeper, and a hard person to wake up. I decided to not even try to call his name so I kicked him with a little force in the stomach.

He awoke with a groan, “Ow shit Sage. What was that for?” He groaned again rolling over onto his back holding his stomach.

“Get up and go to your room, its bed time.” I told him, lightly tapping my foot on his stomach, which he pushed away. I laughed and grabbed my leg sending me down on butt onto the floor. Then we both were laughing.

“Sage, I uhm want-“Blaze started, but quickly closed up once he saw me and Zac laughing. He just closed the door to his room. I rolled my eyes and looked at Zac for justification.

“I have no idea, I mean if I was up then I probably could’ve told you something. But I got nothing right now. He sounded like he was going to say sorry, which from Blaze is like a smile; rare.” Then I thought back to all the times Blaze said sorry to me. That meant they were genuine and that he really didn’t mean whatever he said, that his words were in spite; out of anger.

“Night little one. Sleep tight don’t let the Blaze bugs bite,” he smiled, “a lot.” He added before closing his door.

I picked up all the left over snacks and blankets off of the floor, honestly avoiding going into that room with Blaze. But he came out for me.

“Sage, what are you doing?” He replied from the door of his room, his arms crossed over his chest that was clad in a new gray shirt.

“Uhm just cleaning” I picked up some non-existent crumbs off the floor.

“Sage it’s late I need some sleep. I have work tomorrow and you need to sleep too. Just come on.” He mumbled. I don’t see why I had to be in there just for him to get to sleep, but I’m assuming he doesn’t like people sneaking around and getting on the bed, moving him when he’s asleep. This is probably going to be the most uncomfortable sleep of my life.

I trudged into the room and he closed the door behind me and now it seems that I was much more aware of my body. I walked into his closet slipping on some long pajama bottoms and a tank top.

I walked over to the bed and slowly got in, making sure not to make eye contact with Blaze who was closing the blinds in his room a little. He walked back over to the bed and slipped his shirt over his head.

I gasped, “What are you doing?”

“This is how I sleep; calm down the bed is big.” He sighed running his hand through his hair before getting in the bed only in pj bottoms.

We laid probably a full sized, vertical pillow length away from each other. Blaze slept on his back with only his head turned towards the pillow. His breaths were long and even and his eyes seemed closed peacefully.

“I can’t sleep with you staring at me” Blaze grumbled flipping to my side opening his bright green eyes at me; I know I probably said this before but it’s like they glow in the dark.

“And I can’t sleep knowing you’re shirt-less,” I whispered back.

“Sage, just close your eyes and pretend I’m not here.” He turned on the TV, which the soft noise helped lull me to sleep in no time.

When I woke up I was half on top of Blaze’s bare chest. Who knew abs could be so comfortable? I blinked my eyes open and looked up at Blaze who was softly snoring with his mouth slightly ajar. His arms circled my waist, and a hand was lightly rubbing my back. I felt something sticking my thigh and I didn’t even want to know.

I placed my hands on either side of his body and tried to lift myself out of his grip without waking him. How the girls on the movies do it never ceases to amaze me. I slowly pushed up and tugged upwards trying to break his arm link.

His green eyes opened and looked into mine. At first it was small almost unnoticeable smile, but then again this is Blaze, he’s not going to smile. He closed his eyes falling asleep for a second and them opening them once more. Once the sleepiness dissipated he looked at me confused.

“Sage why are you on top of me?” His asked his voice still husky from sleep. I have no idea why we didn’t move from our position.

“I have no idea. Uhm why do you have a—him in the morning?” I asked looking away, dodging his eye-contact.

“Sage you’re like an adolescent school-girl. Ever heard of morning wood? Yeah, well it’s not a myth.” He said like a smart-ass, but I couldn’t come up with a good comeback.

“Oh,” I replied “I do-“

“Sage we want your breakfast!” Aubrey yelled walking in on us in this compromising position.

“This is not what it looks like!” I quickly told her pulling from Blaze’s grip and rolling over to lie next to him. I pulled up the strap of my tank top that decided to pick this time fall off my shoulder.

“Suuure,” she smiled dragging out the word. “Uhm when you two are decent come make breakfast.” And she closed the door.

“Thanks a lot Blaze! This is all your fault we’re going to be tormented.”

“Nah, I won’t” he shrugged.

“Hold on, how come you won’t?” I asked glancing over at him; he was now lounging on the bed carefree with his arms folded behind his back.

“You’re not the first girl Aubrey’s caught me with, and you’re practically a super virgin. You’ll be her victim.” He gave me a glance over and chuckled. I didn’t even dwell on the openness about the girls he’s been with.

I gave him a saccharine smile. “Not when I tell her why you were acting so weird yesterday.”

This cause his chuckling to cut off, “You wouldn’t” he warned glaring at me.

“Try me,” I challenged; sticking my tongue out at him and walked over into the bathroom. I quickly peed, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes, so that he could get into the bathroom to fix his problem.

Once I emerged out of the bathroom he glared at me to which I just smiled. I skipped merrily into the kitchen where Aubrey, Mark, and Zac were sitting at the breakfast bar.

“Look who’s happy she got laid last night,” Mark laughed. I glared at him; I thought he was the sensible one.

“I didn’t do anything with Blaze. I was trying to get over him without waking him and got stuck,” I retorted. Aubrey’s face fell, and she pouted. Zac laughed and I was going to tell them about Blaze’s problem yesterday but Blaze walked out of his room dressed in a collared dress shirt and dress pants.

The smile on my face faltered when I looked at his attire. “Do I need to go get ready?”

Blaze’s eyes left his cuffs that he was making on his shirt and bore into my brown ones. “Uh, no it would be better if you don’t come to the office this week. Just visit your mother, or mine or something.”

My brows creased in confusion, “Is something wrong?” I asked stepping out of the kitchen, everyone else were conversing amongst each other to try to stay out of our business. I knew Zac was listening though.

“Nothing’s wrong just drop it.” He told me in a cold-monotone voice. I looked up to his face and he looked away, I grabbed his hand. He looked down at it for a second, back at my face, and then he slowly dropped my hand picked up his suitcase and walked out the door. I just watched him leave; I didn’t know what I was expecting him to do. Maybe give an explanation of some sort?

Aubrey saw my face and came over to me, “Hey its fine I’m sure you know that’s natural Blaze by now. He’ll get comfortable and back to normal and then he’ll get a strange call and start acting all ‘I have a stick shoved up my ass’ on you. Just leave him alone he’ll come back around, it’s been that way for a while. It’s like whenever he’s having too much fun something in him knocks him back to boring. I bet it’s that job, his dad works him too much.”

“Uh yeah,” I gave her a small smile and looked over to Zac who was looking down at me with a sad expression. But he knew how to make the mood less tense.

“So what does a guy have to do to get some food around here? Do I have to strip?”

“NO! Keep it on or I won’t be able to eat,” his sister replied gagging. Even though I was going to enjoy my time with Aubrey and them, I couldn’t help my mind from wandering back to Blaze. And what did Aubrey mean a strange call? And why would some call snap him back to acting like that? I couldn’t answer my own questions but I would before my time with him was through.

Aubrey and Mark decided to stay with us for the week to keep me company after school, and since I wasn’t going to work with Blaze. In fact I rarely saw Blaze, I would get up earlier than him and make him breakfast. Of course we had to sleep in the same bed again because Aubrey and Mark staying. I found a way to get out of his arms without waking him, I had to slowly move his arms down my body so that I could slide out, yeah it was uncomfortable the first time, but it’s not as if he’d ever know.

He would eat the breakfast with not even a word and get up and leave without a thank you. He even avoided my eye-contact. He would get out of the office and pick me and Zac up from home, or Aubrey would take us and we’d meet him there for college. In class he would sit next to me, but still not talk he held my hand sometimes just to keep up with looking like we were together and then he’d drop me and Zac off back at home and go to the office till 11:00 pm.

Today was Saturday and we didn’t have school, and again I got up and made him breakfast but he never came out of the room, Aubrey and Mark got up before him and even lazy Zac. I was starting to get worried and so were the others.

“Maybe one of us should go check on him. Are you sure he didn’t go out and you just didn’t see him?” Mark asked.

“Yeah I’m sure; he hasn’t come out of that room.”  Zac gave me a slight push towards the door and I glared at him.

I walked towards the door my palms sweaty and my heart thumping in anticipation. I turned the knob and walked into the room closing the door behind me. I looked over at the bed and it was empty, but that was impossible. Where could he have gone? Then Blaze appeared from the closet, he didn’t look to good. I mean of course he was still hot, that was Blaze period, but he looked a little sick. He was on the phone and said “I know I understand, and I won’t let it become one. Yes, fine.” He looked irritated before hanging up the phone.

He looked up at me and said “How long were you there?”

“I just got here, you’ve been sleeping and we were worried.  Maybe we should go out? You look like you need fresh air.”

He looked at me for a moment before taking his shirt off and walking back to the bed with his laptop. I won’t lie and say I didn’t stare at his body; it was impressive I mean it wasn’t the best but you could tell he at least worked on his upper body a little. It was defined and he had a natural six pack.

“You can go anywhere you want Sage. I’m not keeping you here, I have work to do.”

“Blaze you’ve been at work all week. I’m worried about your mental and apparently physical health.”

“Don’t worry about me; it’s not your job.”He replied shrugging and waving me off.

“Your mood swings are seriously starting to irritate me. I don’t know what’s been happening to you lately.”

“I-“ before he could even reply whatever smart ass comment that was bound to come out of his mouth he pulled the trash can near the bed, up to his face threw up in it.

“Obviously you don’t worry about yourself, so I have to.” I replied running to go get him some medicine and water out of the cabinet.

You look at me

like it's ten degrees

and it's obvious your minds made up

sorry won't be quite enough

and I brace myself cause I know there's a

Cold front on it's way, on it's way

I can feel it in your touch

words that you don't say, you don't say

and they're leaving me frozen

Artist:Amie Miriello

Song:Cold Front