Chapter 28

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I know life would suck without you ,at the same time, I wanna hug you

I wanna wrap my hands around your neck

You're an asshole but I love you and you make me so mad I ask myself

Why I'm still here, or where could I go, you're the only love I've ever known Pink-True Love

I'm tired of being your (your) unofficial girl

If you keep this up there's bound to be a mess cause I ain't really like the rest

Put to the test I could surely pass you better do the math Cassie-Unofficial Girl

I played a vicious part (Whoa), I broke an unfair share of hearts

I'm no good for you (no), This heart ain't built for two so

Runaway, Runaway, A pretty mess that I made for you

I'll tear you up in two,Go ahead walk it off if you know whats best for you- The Ready Set- Killer

I love you so much, but it's so hard to show.

I hate that it's killing us both No, I can't get close to you,

no, you can't get close to me, so clear that we were meant to be,

if we can get through the static-Nikki Flores-Static

Sage’s Pov.

When Blaze finally woke up it was about twelve-thirty in the afternoon and I was up sitting next to him watching Martin. I loved 90’s sitcoms; they don’t make them like this anymore.

“Sage? What time is it? I overslept and I’m supposed to be at work,” Blaze grumbled running his hand down his smooth face. He was still very much sleepy because the whole week before Christmas he was working extra so he wouldn’t have to during the holiday. I guess all that hard work went to waste.

He looked at me, his green eyes boring into my brown ones. I couldn’t resist, so I kissed him. It definitely was a spur of the moment thing and he wasn’t objecting. Blaze had been through a lot and he deserved happiness and it didn’t matter if he would reject me or that it wasn’t real, I would allow it to feel as real as Blaze would allow and when the deal is over and I’m heartbroken, I would know it was worth it. I had a beautiful experience even through my love was unrequited.

He kissed back almost immediately, sliding his hands behind my back and pulling me closer to him. The kiss seemed to wake him up, and it gave me an adrenaline rush. The sparks tingled through my lips to the rest of my body. This kiss was more like the one in the kitchen, it was hot and bothered and Blaze seemed almost needy. I was willing to give him as much affection as he needed.

When we let go for air, he let go of my lips slowly, biting it with his teeth a little. We looked at each other for ten more seconds before we threw our lips back on each other. Blaze moved so he was hovering over me and sticking his tongue in my mouth. Suddenly the alarm went off and we jumped apart.

“Uhm, you need to get to work. Don’t worry, I’ll pretend like it never happened.” I told him getting out of the bed and heading into the kitchen. I walked out of the bedroom, and into the kitchen where Zac was posted drinking orange juice straight from the carton. When I shot him a dirty look, he just smiled sheepishly.

“Soo how’s the falling in love with Blaze going?” He asked in a low tone. He took another sip from the Tropicana carton and looked at me seriously.

“It’s going fine Zac. It’s slow, so I think about time I leave I won’t be too heartbroken, I’m fine don’t worry about me. I can handle Blaze’s mood swings and his affection.” I told him, though most of it was a lie, I didn’t want Zac to feel obligated to protect me.

“I’m just trying to protect you from what you think you want, little one. I know you’re in love with Blaze, and he’s got something with you, but I don’t want you to hurt.” His face read nothing but sullen, and I could tell that he cared.

“I know you care Zac, and it’s my decision to get myself hurt, when or if I do fall in love with Blaze okay?”

“If?” He prodded.

“Zac, don’t push it.” I wanted to get around the subject I didn’t want to him to know I was in love with Blaze; I didn’t want anyone to know except me, not even Blaze.

He just nodded and respected my privacy on this one. “So I have to go to the office today with Blaze, yeah I know it sucks. But I do, or he’ll be there all day. Lana has to go in to set up her new office because she can’t always work from home, and Mark will be there in a meeting, so I guess you’re stuck with my blabber mouth of a sister.” He smiled taking another swig of the orange juice that I was sure was almost gone by now, but good thing cause I would not be letting him put it back in the fridge, I don’t want to drink after people.

Blaze came out in the outfit his dad picked out for him, which to be honest looked kind of odd on him. Usually Blaze goes to work with a Ralph Lauren dress shirt or the occasional Armani or some other expensive brand name blazer, but never in a full suit. I looked at Zac and notice even he was overly dressed, and Zac would wear cargo shorts to work.

“Did I tell you that you’re dad, walked into Lana’s apartment like it was his and woke me up off the couch so fast that I fell into the table and broke it? Needless to say that Lana ran out the room with hairspray, screamed, and sprayed that shit everywhere. The only funny thing was Lana who was cussing him out in Spanish. ”

“My father has no right to barge into Lana’s place like that.” Blaze murmured his normal blank expression coming on. He and Zac headed towards the door and Zac made his way out, giving Blaze and I a moment alone.

Blaze place his hand on the side of my face and sighed, “Aubrey will be here shortly, call me when she arrives.” The bags under his eyes were clearly seeable, and he wore the look of depression and tiredness to a T. It honestly made me sad, he worked like a slave, he worked the job of ten men and it wasn’t fair.

I moved my hand in to fix his tie, “You make sure not to overwork yourself okay? It’s Christmas Eve so remember to get into the holiday spirit!” I pecked him on his lips softly to which he returned with a smile. He turned around and walked out the door, his strides long as to catch up with Zac.

I watched after him till he turned into the elevator. Aubrey was over within seconds, and I texted Blaze quickly telling him that she arrived, because obviously he didn’t want me to be alone. Was it because he cared or because he was afraid I would get in the tabloids for something stupid?

“Well come on girl, I left Lana’s gift at the house. And since everyone’s busy Blaze decided I was going to be the one to stay with you.” She beamed skipping down the hall next to me.

“You all act as if I’m a child that has to be watched.” I grimaced, showing my displeasure with having to be kept tabs on by my friends, or more like my babysitters.

“Nah girl, it’s just Blaze really loves you. He likes to know your whereabouts at all times. I guess he’s kind of clingy in that way. I’m just glad you made him smile. Ever since the accident he has definite daddy issues and it’s only gotten worse over the years.” She said in state of thinking, like I wasn’t even there, more or less it was towards herself.

“Wait, you guys never told me about any accidents. Yall said he didn’t like his dad because he took him out of school and neglected him.”

“No, we just don’t bring the accident up. And I’m sorry I ever did, we kind of just adapted to not even think about it, to be honest even though you’re marrying him I didn’t expect him to tell you. Don’t get your hopes up on him ever telling you. This is just one secret that I advise you to just leave alone.” Aubrey is never serious, and that was odd, if she was telling me not to say anything then it must have been deep.

“Aw,” I groaned burying my head into my hoodie. “What’s the point of bringing up something when you’re not gonna tell me? That just makes me even more curious. But you’re serious and you’re never serious so that tells me to take your advice and just let it be.” I decided it was for the best to do so, I’ll try to get it out of him in another time, I knew that Aubrey didn’t mean to let it slip, she just felt so comfortable around me, and you’d think I’d know.

When we finally pulled up to Aubrey and Mark’s place we walked in to be greeted by Marie and two huge dogs. I ran immediately and I mean I was scared, I forgot that was the wrong thing to do when it came to dogs, they think you’re playing with them. I ran as fast as I could around the house, but it was two of them so it was no use. One pounced on me and the other watched.

I screamed bloody murder, but Aubrey didn’t care she just laughed. The dogs didn’t do anything but lick me, but it was still a phobia of mine. Sure I dogs were my favorite animal, but big dogs just scared the life out of me. It’s like your favorite animal being a wild tiger; sure you like it but are you stupid enough to go touch it? Well I mean some people will, but they’re crazy.

“Okay, okay enough fun girls. Jetta, Alaska come here, get off Sage. You’re drooling on her.” They only licked me on my hands and not my face and for that I was glad. Once the big dogs were off me, I scurried onto the couch and away from them.

“Oh Sage, they’re harmless; wouldn’t hurt a fly, especially not you.” She giggled patting the heads of the two. I glared at her from the couch, but got up slowly as to not provoke the beasts. I grabbed all the gifts Aubrey had under the tree and stuffed them in a bag.

“Hey, so where are we having Christmas tomorrow?” Aubrey asked sticking her hand in her mom’s bowl of chips which earned her a hand smack, away.

“What about your mom’s?” I offered.

“Cant girls, I’m going to visit my other child in Ohio.” She smiled chomping on her chips.

“Other child? You have another sibling?”  I asked Aubrey.

She rolled her eyes, “Uh, yeah. Zac and I’s older sister Samantha,” she said it bitterly letting me know that she didn’t like her sister so much, and I would definitely be finding out more about that later.

“Aubrey don’t be so sullen, I love you. But you and Zac see me all the time, it’s about time my only daughter with children, gets to see me, when she lives half-way across the country.”

“Oh so Samantha has kids? Do you like your brother in law?” I asked genuinely curious about this sister that neither Zac nor Aubrey didn’t bring up; actually no one in the group talked about her.

“Yeah she has one a new baby boy and we don’t bring him up, he’s not around.” Then she whispered up her breath and I’m sure her mom didn’t hear, “we don’t bring her ass up either.”

On the drive back to the condo I could tell Aubrey was in her thoughts, she would tap the stirring wheel constantly and talk in hushed tones to herself. I just wanted to bring up her mood, so I wouldn’t ask about her sister tonight.

Aubrey was quiet for the rest of the day, even when Mark came in and hugged and kissed her. They spoke in whispers for a while before he just grabbed her and held her, she didn’t seem sad; she seemed more mad then anything.

I told everyone where we were going for Christmas and Lana and Zac were excited. Aubrey was still a little pissed from early but you could tell she was kind happy. Blaze looked indifferent, ever since he got home he’s been acting weird but it’s fine because tomorrow was Christmas, he couldn’t possibly be a grump on that day.

We packed up all the gifts and our clothes for the night and headed over to my mom’s house, who was preparing for us. I know we were too old to be sleeping over my mom’s house in the living room on the floor like a bunch of kids but who cares.

When we arrived my mom had the door opened and ready for us to come in. Even though the house was newer, it still had the very homey quality. It smelled like that one Christmas song, ‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.’ The couch was moved so we settled into pallets on the floor. I was almost so excited that I couldn’t sleep. Blaze slept close to me, and even in his sleep grabbed me and pulled me close.

I got up in the middle of the night to go use the restroom. When I walked back down the stairs I saw a shadow in the kitchen.

“No, it’s important that I be here.” I could tell it was Blaze’s voice and being the nosy person I seemed to be lately I eavesdropped a little.

“She wants me here, and I’m always at work on her… Yeah but its Christmas. No I refuse, I know what you could do, and I will be there the day after Christmas, first thing in the morning; but I have to be there for her today. I won’t find anyone better, she’s a good woman for me and I love her. Marnie is not a good choice; no I refuse to even allow that. Yes the day after.” When he hung up, I appeared in the door way. I put on a soft smile.

“How much did you hear?” He questioned not even mad, just staring down at his phone blank.

“Blaze I’m not gonna force you to stay here with me, with us. If you really want to go to work to please your dad you can. I want you here but if you don’t want to be here then you don’t have to.” I responded softly slowly walking towards him. Even here in the kitchen at 2:30 am was he handsome, he—there was not point even thinking about it.

“I want to be here Sage; it makes me feel somewhat normal. I haven’t had a regular Christmas since Aubrey forced me to one four years ago.” I beamed a smile at him.

“Then forget what your dad said, come on let’s go sleep. I can’t wait to see what you got me!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to our spots on the floor. I felt him grab my waist and pull me to his chest.

The next day Blaze and I were woken up by squealing and you would have thought it was my little brother but no, it was Aubrey jumping up and down near the gold, green, and red tree. My mom did a way better job on the tree than we did at home, hers was like straight off of a magazine.

Blaze let go of my waist and sat up, and I followed him. I rubbed at my eyes and smiled at Aubrey who shaking all her gifts. She handed me mine and we all sat around  in a circle, including my brother who’s eyes lit up at all the gifts for him, and my mom.

We took turns opening gifts and my brother was so excited that he dashed to his room to play his new video games after yelling a ‘thank you’.

I went after my brother. The first gift I got was from Lana and it was the new Drake cd! I was so excited to listen to it as soon as possible, Aubrey and Mark both decided to get me shoes, which looked too expensive for me to even wear! Zac got me a new phone, with a specialized case. When I finally got to Blaze’s gift I was honestly nervous and a little jittery.

I shot him a smile before picking it up, honestly he looked a little nervous but this time he had a hard time hiding his expression.

I tore open the neatly packaged gift. It was a small box; it was green with a golden ribbon. I untied it carefully and opened the gift.  It was simple and honestly I expect a card or something from Blaze, I didn’t expect him to get me something that looked overly expensive.

It was a diamond necklace, and when I say diamond necklace I meant like the whole band was diamonds, they were medium sized clear, diamonds and it was beautiful. All I could do was look at the necklace with awe, and everyone else was clearly shocked too because no one made a peep till Lana and Aubrey in unison scream “AWW!”

Blaze blushed and I hugged Blaze so hard that he fell over. I landed on top of him and I looked into his eyes. They were bright and looked sort of happy, I’m glad he decided to stay.  I looked down at him and he leaned up and kissed me.

“A room would be nice.” Aubrey remarked, and Blaze started to smile and lifts up with me on his lap.

“Shut it Aubrey.”

“Dude, I don’t think I’ll ever get use to this smiling Blaze thing. Like I’m baffled I haven’t seen this since we were like what? Fourteen?” She just gaped at him, till Blaze got sick of her and threw some wrapping paper at her. Well that started a wrapping paper fight that ended in the whole living room being littered with litter shreds of paper.

Aubrey was bending down picking up paper when Mark got behind her on one knee and put a finger up to his lips. I smiled giddy for her.

“Aubrey?” He called out in a low voice.

She looked down at him with a careless expression. “What’s up babe?” He pulled the ring case from behind his back and her eyes got wide as saucers.

“Mark you better not be kidding because this is really mean if you are.” She gasped out.

“Aubrey will you marry me?” She shook her head and managed out a hoarse ‘yes’ and went in for a hug. I was squealing along with Lana. Well I think that was a beautiful way to end Christmas!

The sun is filling up the room and I can hear you dreaming

Do you feel the way I do, right now?

I wish we would just give up

'Cause the best part is falling, call it anything but love

And I will make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

And how long can we keep this up, up, up-Christina Perri Distance

I know you care

I know it is always been there

But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it

You are just saving yourself when you hide it-ellie Goulding, I know you Care

You've had me at the top of the pile,

And then had me kissing the ground

Am I keeping you awake,

If I am then just say,

You can make your own decisions,-You Me At Six-Always Attract

See I would give you love The kind of love that you've only dreamed of

Baby you're not the only one You don't have to be afraid to fall in love

And I know that you've hurt in the past But if you want it, here's my heart

No strings attached-NSync