Chapter 37

Look at the banner made by Dreamerfromthegalaxy! I decided to break this into two chapters instead of 3rdperson, cuz I didnt like it. Stop asking when I'm going to update, please. Blaze pov, is next chapter. Comment and vote! Dont forget to go look at the interview and comment and vote. *Not Edited*

I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long hard week.

I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.

And I bet sometimes you wonder about me.

And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you.

And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do,

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you

And risk another goodbye.

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe. It's probably better off this way.

And I confess, babe, In my dreams you're touching my face

And asking me if I wanna try again with you.

And I almost do. Artist:Taylor Swift Song: Almost Do

Sage’s  Pov.

I took a cab home, and this time home meant the house that Blaze had brought my mom and little brother. I could see the lost and sad look on Zac’s face when I left, and it hurt to just leave him like that; I mean he was one of my best friends. I’m not one to usually run from my problems but I couldn’t handle the rejection that was bound to come from Blaze.

When I got away from the condo I cried more than I ever thought I could. I told myself that I wouldn’t cry anymore after my father’s death, but I broke that rule. I cried till I couldn’t cry anymore. I loved Blaze and I always had. Zac was right; I fell in love with his best friend and every time I was going to finally get the nerves to tell him, something would get in the way. Good thing too, because he would have just turned me down. The cab driver glanced back a couple times and finally asked if I was okay, and I just replied a simple yes.

I pulled the bag of my old things up the driveway and to the door, I knocked and waited. I didn’t dare bring any of the clothes that Blaze had bought me; they didn’t belong to me, they belonged with the deal.

The door came open and my little brother's head popped out. "Sage?" he questioned, then his eyes lit up. "Where's Blaze? I want him to help me with my math homework, and then he could come watch cartoons with me, like we do every time he comes over."

My eyes started to water once again so I took a deep breath, and blinked back the tears. I bent down to his level and looked him in the eyes. "He's not going to be in our lives anymore okay? I'll help you with your homework." I got up and walked into the house.

I sat my bags down, pushing my bangs out of my face and my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Blaze, and even though he wasn’t here, my heart seemed to speed up in my chest. I pushed ignore and walked into the kitchen where my mom was. Though California was huge a state, I knew that I would see Blaze again. School had been done for the year a couple of weeks ago, but I knew that I would see him and the others around and I would have to face questions.

"Sage! What a surprise! Where's Blaze? Have you been crying? Baby, what's the matter?"My mom’s expression went from excited to see me, to confused and worried. She was now the only person I could confide into.

So I broke down, "Mom, he-he-he doesn’t love me. I know it was just a deal, but I thought he fell in love with me. I love him, I really do; with all my heart." I know I was too big for this but she sat at one of the chairs holding me while I cried into her shirt.

"What makes you think he doesn’t love you? I seen the way that boy looks at you, I know he loves you." My mom rubbed my hair in a soothing motion, and I sobbed even more.

"Mom, I told him and all he could do was look at me and he told me that I didn’t really feel that way. He just looked—I-I never knew it would hurt so much." She held me a little more before replying.

"It’s okay sweetie we'll get you through this. You can use the spare room, you know the one you and Blaze—yeah that room." I blinked back the tears that came from hearing his name. I nodded, released myself from her arms and moped up the stairs. I wanted to be alone for a while, to just think for myself.

I couldn’t keep myself away especially when it was Blaze’s birthday; I went to the condo after making sure no one was there. I went and left the gift at his doorstep, it was a movie that I knew would be a favorite. I left A Haunted House, because it was hilarious and I wanted him to laugh, no matter if I wasn’t going to see him do it.

Cory’s asthma has been fine lately ever since we moved in a better area and living space. The air in this particular part of town was fresher. He had mini outbreaks but they weren’t anything that his machine couldn’t handle. Blaze had already paid off his medical bills so there wouldn’t be any worries for that anytime soon.

As we were reaching the middle of May I could sense that the change of whether would make my brother sick. So I took the liberty of taking him to the hospital before it could start up. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve seen Blaze, and I’m not sure if he liked his gift or even if he was hurt that I left.

“Sage and Cory! I haven’t seen you two in a while which is good. But why are you here?” Dr. Branson asked with a smile lighting up her face

“Well Cory’s breathing has been a little weird, and I could tell it was because of the weather so I wanted to get him here before it has a chance to get bad.” I told her, gently pulling my brother in front of me.

“That’s very much understandable, I’m going to get him a room and he can stay here a couple days for observation, if he’s fine then we’ll send him on his way.” The doctor walked my brother to his room and I followed silently.  I spent three days that way, I only left to go to the cafe once to make sure that it was almost ready for the grand opening in a couple of days.

When I came back on the third day ready for Cory to go home, he was unusually quiet. I looked back at him from the driver’s seat of my mom’s car. “Cory you okay?”

“I’m fine, just sleepy. I wanna go home.” I nodded my head understanding that hospitals aren’t the most comfortable places in the world to be.

I have been acting like everything's going good. I didn’t want to bother my family with my heartbreak, it was petty and I’d move on sooner or later. "Hey Mom, I'm going to head out to my shop. You’re still coming tomorrow night, for the grand opening right?" I asked because I tend to spend so much time there that I come in when she’s asleep.

"Of course honey. Your brother and I will be there." Then she hesitated the next question. "Will Blaze, Zac, Aubrey, Mark, and Lana be there?"

"Uhm, I doubt it. I don’t know." She knew it was a sore subject to bring up, we don’t even talk about them in this house anymore; not even Cory. He stopped asking for Blaze a couple of days ago.

"You still haven’t talked to Blaze?" She was lightly said it, as if I would break down in tears. A couple of weeks ago I would have but now I felt numb.

"No mom and I don’t plan on. He has probably moved on and back into his normal life by now. I don’t matter to him." He never bothered to follow me or anything so that was the conclusion I came to. I ignored the calls of the others because I knew I looked stupid.

"Well of course you do matter to him. He didnt take back all the things he did for you. He tried talking to you, coming to see you, paying off bills." I narrowed my eyes in confusion.

"Mom what do you mean?"

"Well I tried to go pay the bills and the man told me that it was already done. Oh and last week he came by when you were babysitting Cory. Cory told him that you weren’t here. He left a note somewhere around here." She dug around in the mail basket and pulled out a blue note with Blaze’s neat handwriting written on it.

Dear Sage, I'm sorry that we haven’t been able to talk and I understand that you don’t want to. I meant it when I said you were special to me, and I'm sorry for hurting you. I don’t deserve you, and I know as you’re reading this you’re shaking your head but it’s true. I don’t deserve a beautiful, smart, caring girl who loved me unconditionally. No matter when or who you move on to love. I will always be there for you. Because what you felt about me, I was a dumbass to not see that I felt, no I feel the same. I hope your life turns out to be what you want it to be because I'll always care. P.S I hope your cafe turns out how you dreamt it to be, I called in some connections for it.-

Dearest Wishes, Blaze Eli Colton

I stared at the letter in confusion. Did that mean he loved me? Blaze loves me? Blaze loves me!

I turned to my mom, "That idiot just told me he loved me, in the most mysterious way! But it doesn’t matter. Until I hear the words this letter means nothing." I folded it back up and threw it back into the basket.

"Sage, don’t—” I cut her off before she could tell me to go to him. I wasn’t going to chase him.

"Mom, don’t say it. Please." I pulled my hoodie tighter and headed to the car my mom and I shared.

I drove a block away from my shop and parked. I walked there and opened up the door walking straight towards the back making sure everything was ready for tomorrow. I heard the bell on the door ring so I hurried and ran to see who it was.

"Sorry but we are clo—sed" My words faltered when I saw someone I haven’t seen in weeks. I ran up and hugged him with all my might.

"ZAC!" I screamed and jumped into his embrace. I held on and squeezed the life out of him.

"Hey little one, I couldn’t miss your grand opening!" He replied after he let me go.

"Great I knew you'd miss me. Haha and its tomorrow" I laughed, just seeing Zac again made me feel better.

"Soo, how have you been?" I knew the double meaning he was implying. He meant how I was dealing without Blaze.

"I've been fine. I've been getting by; I mean it’s hard as hell to fall out of love with someone trust me. How are you, Aubrey, Mark and Lana?" I wanted to talk about how I was feeling, but I also wanted to get off the subject at the same time.

"Why ask me if you can see them too!"

"They all know huh?" I was really embarrassed that’s why I never made any moves to reconnect.

"Yeah, but they didn’t care. We still love you, all of us." He told me with the Taylor smile that I grew accustomed to, I really did miss him.

"That's great to know." I started to wipe down the counters, to keep myself busy and sound nonchalant.

"How's Cor? I heard he was in the hospital a little bit ago."

"He's excited to finally see the place. How did you know he was there? Uhm so how's Blaze?"

"From Blaze, and ah, I was waiting for this moment. You love Blaze; of course it would kill you not to know how he's doing... or who... Am I right?"

I glared at him "He's—He's sleeping with other girls?" I wanted to curse myself for stuttering but I was still hung up on him, when he might be with other girls.

"Haha nah, but I just LOVE the look on your face when I said it!" By now he was on the floor clutching his stomach. I kicked him in the stomach and walked behind the counter shinning a glass. I earned a grunt from him. "If you really want to know, he's not doing so well." This caused me to look at him abruptly.

"What's wrong?" I rushed; this changed my emotions quick from jealousy to worry.

"He doesn’t come out the house and when I visit him he's back to the blankness, but now to add on that he doesn’t talk.” Zac shrugged as if this wasn’t anything new. In the back of my mind I felt good, it was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one who was hurting from our sudden falling out.

"You know he came to visit me right?" I said and Zac turned to me quickly, taking a seat at one of the stools.

"He did?" I was confused because wouldn’t Zac be the first person to know.

"Whoa, you mean he didn’t tell you?"

"I mean if it was any time last week than we weren’t on speaking terms." I mean after Zac told me that he stopped talking it makes sense, but he still is his best friend.

"What happen?" I asked, I was curious.

"Nothing, just tell me what did you two talk about?”

"Well actually nothing. I guess my brother opened the door, and I was sleep. He left a note though." I sighed wistfully, in my gut I knew that I couldn’t be the one to go after him.

"Did he finally admit it?" Zac asked and I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I'm not sure what he's trying to admit. I didn’t see the words that I was looking for, so it means nothing.” I shrugged looking down at my converse on my feet.

Zac got up from the seat at the bar. "I have to go," I frowned, "Dont fret little one, I'll be back tomorrow with everyone else for the grand opening. I know you need my presence to stay happy."

"You're right!" I laughed. Zac hugged me, waved goodbye and was gone.

I was left feeling even emptier again. Being in Zac's presence made me feel like Blaze was going to walk through that door, and pretend to love me again. But he wasn’t, and I was alone once again.

I loved an egotistical, stoic, crazy, workaholic, businessman and though he didn’t love me, it was the most freeing thing of my life. I’ll never love someone as much as I loved him and the reason it was freeing is because I let myself go and though he never said he loved me, I knew he cared about me, and I made him happy and that’s all that mattered.

Even though you would think all Blaze’s flaws were bad traits; I thought they were beautiful. They made him, him. They say falling in love is one of the most painful experiences of a lifetime, but it’s not all that painful. Sure it does hurt when you’re not caught, but it’s more of a peaceful revelation of your true self. Falling in love not only tells you about the person you’re with, but also it tells you about who you are.

I didn’t know I was lost until I found Blaze, because when I did find him; or rather he found me; I realized that there was more to life than just work. Not only did I fall in love with Blaze, but I fell in love with his life, his friends, his company. I never felt lonely before, until I found out what it was like to not be, and I understood why some people dealt with the feeling in bad ways.

It was overwhelming, and consumed your thoughts, whenever I saw a couple I thought of him, whenever I looked at my brother’s room, I thought of him. And even worse I realized that even though Blaze was the cut off one, he had friends. His friends became my friends, and when I cut Blaze off, I had to cut them off too, and that makes the loneliness feeling double.

No matter how I acted, I was still in love with Blaze. The thought alone of his name made butterflies flood to my stomach, and raised Goosebumps on my skin. Though if I ever saw him, he would never say he loved me back, I had that note to cherish. I really felt hurt that he wasn’t going to show up to my grand opening, but I knew in his mind that it’s for the better.

You're bad for me

I clearly get it

I don't see how something good could come from loving you

The death of me

Must be your mission

'Cause with every hug and kiss,

You're snatching every bit of strength

That I'm gon' need to fight off the inevitable

And it's a heart-breaking situation

I'm up in but I can't control

You're just like poison

Slowly moving through my system breaking all of my defenses with time

Artist:Beyonce Song:Poison