Alex
So, I think it's fair to say that after having dealt with the kind of break-up/separation/worst departure of my life that Elias put me through last year, that I'm not a huge fan of him disappearing at random. It's not that I don't trust him to come back, it's just some part of me--
--doesn't trust him to come back.
And I know that's ridiculous, and that I'm ridiculous, and that being this paranoid after so long is borderline crazy. But watching Elias leave still bothers me. Especially after kisses like that.
I mean honestly, what kind of guy shows up after class with perfectly wind-swept hair dangling all in his face, sweat beads glistening on his skin, and an adorably nervous smile on his lips? Most people who manage to survive a typical day at UCLA come back to their dorms looking like some part of their life force has been drained from them. Or maybe that's just me, but whatever, you get the point.
Normal people do not look like Elias does when he's tired, anxious, and apparently somewhat frisky.
I feel like if I walked up to his door stuck in a combination of all of those emotional states I'd look like I was having a stroke--(the way I probably do right now).
I scuttle into my mess of an excuse for a bathroom and my mirror confirms my worse fears. I look like a Gorgon.
Medusa could easily outdo me on Instagram in the like department and yet somehow, my boyfriend still wants me to "wear something sexy" to our oh-so-mysterious date night. The problem with having to wear something sexy is that wearing a cute dress, or skirt, or whatever article of clothing "sexy" is supposed to imply, is not enough.
I have to fix the tiredness on my face by turning to my arch-nemesis--otherwise known as make-up.
I suck at it. That is absolutely no secret. Elias very fondly refers to my attempts at smoky-eye as me looking like I narrowly escaped a coal mine with my life, or like I got punched in the face. Mascara and I have an abusive relationship. It clumps together, rips out my eyelashes, and burns if I wear it for too long. And foundation essentially makes me look like I'm the piece de resistance on Cake Boss.
Catch my drift?
Make up is complicated. So I do what any cosmetically-challenged girl would do in my situation, I reach for my cheap and easy-to-use concealer stick--drag it under my eyes, mask the beginnings of two pimples on my face, and call it a night.
I check out my slightly improved reflection in the mirror and decide to throw in a little reddish-pink lip stain and some blush so Elias doesn't confuse his date for the undead.
I bolt out of Make-Up Land and over to my closet where I grab the cutest semi-casual dress I can find. It's more fun-fifties girl chic than sexy, but given how Elias has been begging me to wear this outfit since we bought it, I figure it should work for the occasion.
About thirty seconds into trying to comb my hair into submission, a loud knock on the door rips my attention away from all things fashion.
I dash over to answer the extremely urgent crash, boom, banging sounds coming from the hallway. I whip open the door to find Indigo standing there staring at me with a carton of milk in her hand and an irritated look on her face that only one other person could inspire.
"Hey, Indigo. What's up?"
She shoves the carton of milk in my direction and lets out a typical I-hate-people sigh before answering.
"Your boyfriend is a crazy person. I just ran into him in front of the school store, and he made me promise I would deliver this to you. Enjoy."
She shoves the milk box into my hands which I stare at for a good thirty seconds in total silence.
"Milk?"
"Yes."
"For what reason exactly?"
Indigo folds her arms across her chest and stares at me like Grumpy Cat.
"The answer to why he wants you to indulge in a quart of hormone-filled, inorganic, cancer juice, is beyond me. But it's not my job to ask questions. Today, I am simply the proverbial milkman, and my work here is done. Namaste, soul sister."
Indigo shoots me a lazy wave before disappearing back down the hallway and into the unknown. I wait until she's completely out of sight to examine my little carton resting in my palms. There's two yellow Post-It notes crookedly slapped on to the front and back. The first one reads "First name Harvey, last name __________", while the one in the back says "Clue #2: 100 Paces to the Best Orange Chicken on Campus," scribbled out in Elias's frantic handwriting.
Despite my academic scholarship to one of the best universities in the West, I have absolutely no idea what the hell my boyfriend is up to. Sending me a milk carton named Harvey makes zero sense nor do his off handed directions to Panda Express.
The thing is, everybody who's anybody knows that Panda Express isn't anything close to decent or authentic Chinese food, so the fact that Elias refers to it as such is sad. But I've kissed the boy enough times to know that he gets it in between classes four to five times a week. Why he's included it in his mysteriously confusing scavenger hunt is beyond me, but I'm slowly learning to stop questioning his decisions (well, most of the time anyway).
I step back into my room and slip my feet into a pair of chucks because heels are the devil's footwear. Besides how scavenger savvy can I be if I break my ankle mid-adventure?
I start texting Elias halfway across campus hoping to see if I can sweet talk any more clues out of him so I won't have to walk so far.
Text Message to Elias (Beautiful Idiot):
AS: Tell me your grand surprise isn't an all you can eat buffet night at Panda Express.
EK: While that sounds delicious, no, it's not. Just get there so you can pick up your next clue. I want you here already.
AS: I'm working on it! UCLA isn't a small campus. Besides, if you want me there so badly why don't you just text me where you are.
EK: No way, squirrel face, the mystery's half the fun. I just suck at waiting. Especially when I'm waiting for you ;).
AS: The Cheese Man returns lol
EK: Oh you have no idea.
AS: Is that what the milk was about?
EK: Nah, figure it out. No more texting. You have 20 minutes. Don't keep me waiting.
Don't keep me waiting?
How romantic. We've hardly even been back together that long and he's already assuming the role of a less intelligent but equally demanding Christian Grey.
Great.
I stuff my phone back into my purse and sprint through the waves of Friday stragglers walking back to the dorms. The evening street lamps flicker on one after the other and bathe Bruin Walk in its familiar honey-golden glow. There's something about walking across around this time of day that always puts me at peace.
On afternoons, where my classes are particularly stressful, or things with Elias's lovely harem of stalkers reaches a boiling point, I like getting lost on campus. On Bruin Walk, I can just be another face in the crowd.
There's too many people rushing back and forth around UCLA for anyone to genuinely pay attention to the people passing them by--unless you're Elias of course. He avoids taking this way to class every chance he gets, but at some point, I'd like to take him this route so we can experience moments like these together.
Elias is a sunset connoisseur. Most afternoons we'll stand by the window together and try to catch the last light of the day peaking through the trees outside his dorm room window. But as beautiful as our view is, Bruin Walk is one of the best spots to watch the light wash over the place that brought us out of our shadows.
Some part of me is grateful to this city, to this campus, and to all the magical pieces God put into play that let us find our way back to each other. We're far from being the perfect, problem free, people we'd like to be, but every now and again there moments where despite my demons, that I'm genuinely happy.
And only now, that I've slowly and cautiously started being more honest with myself, do I realize that I'm not just happy because of my grades, or my scholarship--
--I'm happier because of him.
I just hope I can hold on to the feeling.
***
Three flights of steps and a partial asthma attack later, I manage to climb my way up into Ackerman's Food Court. I stumble over to Panda Express and start creeping around the front counter looking for my next clue. A very irritated looking cashier eyes me up and down a good four or five times before waving at me to get my attention.
"Are you Alex?" She asks.
I scan her face for a couple seconds to see if she's one of the usual crazies but she's paying more attention to the cash register than to me. Thank God.
"Depends on who wants to know," I say. She rolls her eyes and pulls out a fresh roll of quarters that she starts cracking on the side of the counter. The sound noticeably startles me and she lets out a whisper of a scoff in my direction. Good to see the Customer Service here is stellar all around.
"Some guy told me to deliver a message to you. He was really annoying and desperate so please take this and leave. Panda Express isn't a courier service it's a food establishment."
I pleasantly take the folded piece of white paper off her hands and flash her a terse smile.
"Really? I didn't know reheated week old leftovers counted as food but I'm glad you clarified that. Have a nice day."
I walk off before cashier girl can pelt me with another pre-wrapped roll of quarters and dive into Elias's next clue.
"Clue #3: Take a leap of faith & meet me on the bridge behind Royce Hall. You have less than 5 minutes. Start running in 3, 2, 1--"
And I'm off. I bolt out Ackermann Union like a racehorse, clomp my way up six sets of steps and then make a hard left right when I reach Powell Library. I try focusing on the wild beating of my heart in my chest and my feet on the pavement instead of focusing on the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I'm walking (well, running into).
When I finally reach the bridge, I see Elias standing there staring up at me with the smile the size of San Diego on his face. He has one hand hidden behind his back and the other outstretched in my direction, which would be totally romantic if I was 100% sure of his intentions.
Since basically "living" together, I've become the target of Elias's endless desire for pranking people. Instead of having Tanner around to terrorize, he has me instead. This includes me waking up with Sharpied-in facial hair and caveman eyebrows, unconsciously slapping myself in the face with his shaving cream, and nearly falling into the toilet more times than I can count.
So naturally, I approach him with caution. At least until I see the candles scattered all over the floor. They're nothing special, just little tin-covered tealights you could find at your local store, but they're beautiful. I follow the lined path leading to him that also happens to be covered with petals that he most likely stole from the front of Royce Hall. I never thought I'd say this, but in my book, make-shift, rachet romance trumps the fancy schmancy stuff any day. Fact.
I walk towards Elias most likely grinning like a psychopath but I don't care. The last of the day's sunlight is covering every inch of the bridge and every inch of him. I take a second to breathe, to commit this moment to memory, and lock away the feeling somewhere I won't forget it.
Steps away from taking his hand, Elias nods behind him where I spot a very bashful Professor Hayes standing with the classroom boombox in her hand. She pops in a CD, and right when Elias weaves his fingers between mine, 's voice comes crooning out of the speakers.
Elias effortlessly twirls me towards him and starts singing along with the song endearingly out of tune.
"If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair..."
He finally removes his hand from behind his back and places a garland of stolen flowers around my head. I laugh while he goofily slow dances with me in awkward, dizzy circles in front of our English Professor. I lean my head against his shoulder and laugh into his hoodie.
"What in the world has gotten into you today?"
"Shh. I'm playing you your final clue right now but you won't hear it if you're not listening."
"Listening to what?" I ask.
"The music. The answer's in the music."
I tilt my head back and look up at him mildly confused.
"Wait--this song's about---"
Elias stops dancing, takes me by the shoulders, and stares at me eyes-wide, worried, and hopeful.
"San Francisco. It was in the cluesâHarvey Milk, UCLA's closest version of Chinatown, and now meeting my bae on a Bridge."
Wow.
"Wait--what?"
"Jersey Summers, I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now but honestly, I'm kind of a chicken shit when it comes to asking you things so...sorry. Anyway, I know this is last minute, but I know you don't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving and I uh--I'd be really humored--fuck, dammit that's not the right word. Hu--hum--hon--!"
"Honored?"
"Yeah, honored. Thanks. Uh, what I'm trying to say is, I'd be honored if you'd spend it with me and my family in San Francisco. It'll just be you, me, and my mom in her apartment. It's not much, but she cooks a mean turkey with a little Spanish flair, and I'd love for you to be there. If you want. You can say no. I'm not one of those guys who's gonna guilt trip you into going, I'll just be kinda devastated if you--"
I kiss the worry off his lips and nearly lose myself to the moment until reality slaps me in the face. I pull away from Elias and blurt out my secret surprise plans for him without thinking twice about it.
"First things first, yes. Yes, I want to go. Yes, I will go with you. Yes, when do we leave? But before you answer that, I think you should know that Ryker, Indigo, and I planned a special "Indigenous People's Celebration" vegan cookout for you incase you were ."
"Seriously?"
"Absolutely. I mean, I'm glad you have somewhere to go but...I wanted to impress you with my tofurkey cooking skills. I've been practicing with Indie for the last few weeks. Sorry I was MIA, I wanted it to be a surprise."
Elias leans down and nuzzles his nose into the top of my hair.
"Nobody's ever--done that for me before. My dad didn't even call to see where I was spending thanksgiving this year. So, um--"
Elias's Adam's Apple bobs in his throat while his eyes turn glassy in the low light.
"--thank you. Even though, thank you doesn't even cover how I feel right now, I really appreciate that, Jersey. More than you know."
I lean forward on my tip toes to pull Elias into a follow-up kiss when Elias's phone starts ringing in his back pocket. He takes the call which strikes me as mildly shocking until I see who's on the line. Elias slides up the Facetime call from his mom and pulls me into the frame so we're both in clear view.
"Mijo! Que paso?! (What happened?) Qué dijo ella?! (What did she say?) Si? (Yes?) Non? (No?) Dime Por Favor! (Please tell me!)"
Elias looks down at me with all the pride in the world and then turns back towards the screen.
"She said yes!"
Maria lets out a girly screech and starts blowing kisses to me through the phone.
"Oh, Alejandra, honey, I'm so happy you're coming! Now, when you come, make sure you don't overpack your suitcase because I like shopping and I'm going to take you to all the best places in the city! I always wanted a daughter, and both my sons refuse to go shopping with me, so I'd like to invite you, okay?"
I nod at Maria excitedly despite the fact that Elias keeps telling me to turn her down under his breath.
"I'd love to go with you, Maria. Thank you for having me!"
"Of course, my house is your house. I have to run because dinner is almost ready, but thank you for agreeing to come, sweetheart. He was so worried you were going to reject him because he's a sensitive niño you know?"
Maria shifts her focus over to Elias and shoots him a wink. His whole face turns red.
"Mama!"
"It's true. Anyway, Alex, thank you for saying yes to my son. Let's hope it's not the last time! Adios!"
She hangs up the phone and leaves Elias and I both speechless for a good fifteen seconds. Once Maria's parting words settle in I ask the only question I can ask even though I already know the answer.
"Elias--this might sound really stupid but what was your mom talking about?"
Elias pulls at his collar and slips into a red-cheeked smile.
"Nothing, Jersey. Nothing."
***
(Thank you guys so much for reading/listening! NOW ON TO THE EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WEEK!
***THE OFFICIAL SECOND HALF (NOW KNOWN AS THE SECOND AUDIOBOOK OF CHEATER.FAKER.TROUBLEMAKER) COMES OUT TOMORROW AND IT'S CALLED: ***
*DRUMROLL*
LOVE HER, LEAVE HER
(Cover Reveal Tomorrow!!!!)
THIS AUDIOBOOK COVERS THE SECOND HALF OF CFTM WHERE ELIAS LEAVES LA TO FOLLOW JERSEY BACK TO HER HOME STATE, RESCUES HER FROM RORY, ALEX + ELIAS HAVE THEIR FIRST TIME, ALL THE WAY UNTIL THE END OF THE BOOK (ELIAS'S HEART FELT LETTERS TO JERSEY).
Kristen, my publisher and I decided that CFTM was better broken up into two books (because it was so long) and it's coming out in less than 24 hours!!!!!
LOVE HER, LEAVE HER WILL BE ON SALE WORLDWIDE TOMORROW! SO LET ME KNOW IF YOU GRAB A COPY!
-Jenny