Tom got up before the sun. Despite it being for school, he could never get used to it.
Today, he didn't mind, though. As he got dressed and got his schoolbag, he thought of the past few days. Of staring at the river.
And this tiredness in his eyes, the emptiness of his stomach, didn't seem so big. Becky made everything worth it.
Tom walked quietly out of his room and down the stairs. He moved softly down them, stepping around the creaky parts towards the kitchen. He tore off a piece of bread Aunt Polly had made the other day and headed towards the front door, chewing.
Opening the door-- the sun was just now rising. He stepped out-- greys melted into light blue and lime and pink. Clouds were still dark, still containing their night sharpness. Oranges faded into the sky.
He closed the door softly behind him, heading down the path towards the school buildingâ His body was so tired he could hardly swallow the bread, but still he continued.
Tom saw Becky and caught up to her. They smiled and walked together, silent in the early morning, their feet sliding and stumbling through grass and dirt and gravel. As long as he had Becky, this was worth it. He had to remember. He didn't want to lose that.
He finished his bread on the way. The sun was at a low burn, now, and the sky was finally a white blue. They got to the school's entrance and went inside.
The schoolyard had gotten bigger the past few years. Donations from touring rich Virginians and other patrons had come in all through Kansas and Missouri, and more kids had come into town all at different ages. And so they built another building and bought more schoolbooks and got a few more teachers. Now there was one building with books for smaller kids and another for the older kids. More land was set aside for the school, tooâ Now there was a courtyard of sorts where the kids could go for lunch and for a break between classes.
During break, Tom sat in this courtyard under a tree, staring at the bright sky. It was more vibrant now; the hidden light behind the blue was piercing his sight when he looked up, but still he continued, ignoring the burn and squint in his eyes, trying to hold the colors in his vision. Trying to see that big bright sky for as long as he could.
"Tom, what are you doing?" Becky came up to him, standing over and staring down at his figure. She blocked his view of the sky.
"I'm relaxing."
"Our next class starts in a few minutes." She smiled, kneeling down next to him on the grass. She took his hand in hers.
"Alright." He said. Getting up so early was tiring-- he needed this break from sitting at a desk for so long. He needed to see the leaves above him, and to see the sky.
"I'm going to go stand with Joe and Amy." Becky stood up, brushing off her skirt. She motioned with her arm towards the other side of the courtyard.
"I'll join you, then." Tom said. He got up with Becky, wiping dirt and grass off his back.
"Hold on. We want you to look presentable, Tom." Becky said quietly, smiling. She lifted her hands, helping him, picking out blades of grass from his hair.
They walked towards a large circle of people. Amy Lawrence and Joe Harper were in the group, all talking, all smiling, all waiting for the bell. Tom walked behind Becky, staring out at the sky. Clouds made a marbleized pattern of blues in the air, from white to teal, all soft shades. He got to the group a few seconds after Becky, and by then the schoolteachers started calling them all back in with bells and shouts. Everyone reluctantly went.
Tom sighed and kept looking at the sky as he walked. He wished he could watch it longer. Becky stayed behind and took his hand, leading him along back inside. It felt trapped in in there. Out here, seeing all of the blinding hues of blue, was better-- especially when Becky was here, holding his hand. Out here, he could stare at the sky and forget everything else. Out here, he wouldn't get beat for saying something wrong.
But he went, dragged along, back into the schoolhouse for more hours of math, reading, and history.
Afterwards, everyone left the school building quickly. The sky had faded down to a hot blue, to a settled-in shade that was always there in the afternoons. The sun had turned from its warm white and rainbow rise into a burning yellow, stuck in place and heating their skin.
Tom and Becky left the school building together, holding hands. The day had gone by quicklyâ he usually tried his best to block it all out. To forget his embarrassments and move on, one day after the other.
"...Did we have homework?" Tom asked, and Becky shook her head. Her curls of hair swung with the motion.
"No, we finished it in class." She responded. "I did, at least." People moved past them, pushing and pulling around them like wind currents. Amy and Joe and their other friends were part of the crowd, and once they noticed Tom and Becky, they came over.
"Hey Tom, we're all going to the river. Care to join us?" Amy Lawrence asked. She met eyes with Tom and smiled. "You too, Becky." Becky and Tom looked at each other. Shrugged.
A lot of time had passed since they were at odds-- the old drama from when they were ten had faded and mellowed out. It was all calm now; in a town as small as this, there wasn't room for old grudges. They all saw each other too often.
"Alright, Amy. We'll come." Becky smiled. Tom nodded along. Amy and them had already started leaving, barely waiting for a response.
Tom and Becky made their way through town eventually. The sun was on their backs, drawing reds and whites and hues of heat into their clothes. They ignored the burning feeling.
Tom took out a folder from his school bag and held it up, shading Becky while they walked. The shadow curved and stretched and moved over her with their out-of-time steps. The walk felt a lot longer than the other day, now that there was this afternoon heat. But eventually they reached the river.
They walked up to the other kids-- Joe, Amy, Ben, and a few others-- who were all talking and laughing already, sitting and standing far enough away from the water's edge. Dirt and gravel skidded quietly as Tom and Becky walked up to them.
Boats went by, reflecting sunlight with their metal sheen. The water moved in a washing way, lapping against the ground and against the distant boats. It was a calm noise.
With the sun up, it was a whole different place.
"...I'm just saying-- I think we should hold more fairs and things than just once every few years!" Amy said, her voice sounding bright and loud in the open air. Tom ignored the discomfort in the pit of his stomach from hearing it.
"Then they wouldn't be as special." Someone else said. Amy shook her head in response. Tom and Becky came closer, now within a better distance to hear. Amy looked over quickly, her mouth already open in a smile, in a half-formed word.
"No, they-- Hey, Tom. Becky. Don't you think the fairs should come to town more than just once every few years?"
"Yes, of course." Becky said, and Tom nodded. "Otherwise it's a little boring here." Becky continued, squeezing Tom's hand. His stomach gave a rush of nervousness, thinking about going.
"See?" Amy smiled, pulling a strand of hair away from her face.
"But the more often they are, the less people would want to go." Ben said.
"Everyone would still want to go, Ben. Because what else are they going to do here? Swim in the Mississippi?" Amy said, motioning towards the river with a slight grimace. "We need more interesting stuff here." Amy said. Sighed.
"Well, just be glad we have something... At least the fair comes at all." Becky said, sitting down next to some of the others. Tom and Becky sat on the ground.
"Don't keep her going." Joe Harper replied, rolling his eyes. He was sitting on the dusty ground next to Tom.
"But once it's over and done with, what is there to do?" Amy asked, looking up at the sky.
"There's this." Tom said. "Just hanging out, right?"
"That's boring." Amy said. Tom felt a slight pang in his gut at that. Was this enough? "...You guys are all going to the fair, right?" Amy asked.
"Yes." Becky said quickly, giving Tom a smiling, knowing look.
"Good." Amy said. The conversation switched to other topics at varying tones. All of it passed Tom by with smiles and outbursts of laughs and the silence of listening. Listening to everyone's voices, their stories, and the waves of the Mississippi next to them.
They all stayed until right before sunset.
No one lingered to look at the waves, except for Tom and Becky. Seeing it again, reliving these moments with Becky, was all Tom needed. They watched how the waves sparkled and shifted with light, and how once the sun faded, the river turned black and looked deeper than it had before.
When the sunset was over, they walked home together in the blue light of darkening streets. Tom walked Becky back to her perfect house. Waited to leave until she passed her house's gate. She looked back at him for a moment before going in.
"See you at school tomorrow?" She asked, a smile on her face.
"Yeah." He said. He didn't like being stuck in a classroom, stuck on campus. But he'd tolerate it all for her.
Becky went into her house, and Tom left to his.