"I don't drown my sorrows; I suffocate them with chocolate." â Unknown
Note: Emily alternates between calling the ice cream phone and Fletcher's cell. Not all their conversations are recorded in this story, but they've swapped mobile numbers. Also, it's Fletcher's job to answer the calls at Waffle Cones, so no one else ever picks up.
â â¡ â â¡ â â¡ â â¡
"Hello?"
"What's up, asshole?"
"Why did you call me?"
"What, is that illegal now?"
"I'm in the middle of class andâ"
"You go to school?"
"âIt's like the equivalent of stupid Siri going off in myâ"
"Wait, you really go to school?"
"âPocket and the teacher looked likeâ"
"You never seem to be at school!"
"âShe was going to chop off my head with a guillotine andâ"
"I can't believe you actually go to school."
"âShove splinters of bamboo up my fingernails!"
"..."
"..."
"I'm so out of breath."
"Me too, Sushi. Me too."
"Anyway, I just wanted to call to say that I got an A for that speech!"
"That's awesome, Sushi, congrats!"
"Thanks for the help, by the way."
"Aw, you're welcome."
"..."
"Well, I'm hanging up now."
"Wait, Fletcher!"
"Yeah?"
"I hate you."
"Faithful to the usual protocol, I see."