Itâs my last night of fun before I have to leave to start my job as a nurse. My travel fare is entirely paid for and a little barracks-esque room waits for me for the next six months. A few days have passed, and the town is recovering well after the impact of the hurricane. Luckily, the hurricane didnât cause too much damage in our area compared to the beach towns. Meredith has dragged us all out to the same bar on a Friday night, with our other friend Emilia and Iâm not feeling up to it. Stress is overtaking my life. This is going to be my first time on a contract, and I just dove straight into the deep end of the pool choosing a military hospital in Iraq. Iâm questioning myself repeatedly since then.
Why did I sign up to do this as my first experience on the job?
Then I remember, itâs silly to question myself when my brothersâ death is the reason for it all. I want to help men and women like him so Iâm letting go of my doubt and giving it to God.
Itâs a short contract anyways. Only six months and then Iâll return back to North Carolina. I havenât talked to Danny since his tongue was inside of me on his couch in the middle of a hurricane. He hasnât reached out and I imagine heâs already across the world by now. Itâs been about a week since then.
Why would he reach out anyways?
Heâs in special operations. Men like him and my brother were literally always gone. It was like I blinked and then they werenât there anymore. My brother was never home. And if he was home it was only for a little while and then he was somewhere doing something and he couldnât tell us a thing about it. His job was so secretive, and it sucked because I would have loved to know his stories. Things that he had experienced in different countries. Now that heâs dead, I donât think Iâll ever get to hear them.
Itâs getting close to one in the morning and the girls and I are dancing the night away. Iâm sweating, and I can feel my eyes getting tired. Iâm definitely buzzed but I want to keep drinking.
Meredith and Emilia follow me toward the bar. The music is so loud I can barely hear myself think. Country pop music is blasting and Iâm growing tired of the same songs. Emilia is the sober one out of us three and our designated driver. I had spent the entire day before, studying trauma, so I can be prepared for the first day on the job.
Iâm worried about leaving my mom. This is going to be her first time without both of her children close to her⦠but I know sheâs going to be okay. Sheâs returned to the church more routinely since my brotherâs passing and made new church friends. So, she has a close group of friends that can distract her from my absence.
â
stop being so sad, youâre killing our vibe.â Meredith snaps, waving over the bartender, Gabriel. Sheâs trying to get his attention while my mouth hangs open. She has always been so blunt and has no filter.
Meredith has grown close to Gabriel due to her constant trips to El Devine over the past year.
âIâm sorry, Iâve just got a lot on my mind.â I snap back at her, leaning on the counter of the bar. Iâm so easy to read and I hate that about my face.
âI canât believe youâre leaving so soon and suddenly,â Emilia whines behind me as she pushes her light brown hair away from her sweaty forehead with the palm of her hand.
âI know⦠Iâm excited though. Nervous⦠but excited. Iâve worked so hard for this moment and itâs so close.â I say whiffing air against my neck hoping it would ease the heat and cool me down. Iâm wearing an all-black blouse and jeans with my cowboy boots on.
âPaul would be so proud of you!â Meredith shouts in my ear. The music is so loud she thinks screaming in my ear is going to help her. I palm my ears, glaring at her.
âI can hear you fine! No need to yell at me!â I shout back. Meredith breaks out in giggles and I know the alcohol has taken over her. She ignores my evil eyes, and I can tell something has captured her attention. She looks behind me, her eyes widening with a smile tugging at her pink lips.
âThatâs him.â Meredith nods her head at Emilia, motioning behind me, down the counter.
âJust donât turn around,â Meredith orders me. She leans in and continues to whisper in Emiliaâs ear covering her mouth to Emiliaâs head.
âWhat? Who?â I ask, looking at Meredith and then at Emilia.
âOh my gosh you mean, Navy dude?â Emilia squeals, looking behind me, her pale cheeks blushing a rosy shade.
âHush!â Meredith corrects her while nudging her into her ribs, with her elbow.
My body stiffens. Panic ensues every nerve inside of me. I mouth to Meredith.
Meredith nods and my heart skips a beat. I try to keep it cool and move my body slowly, turning behind me. I want to confirm it with my own eyes. I turn around slowly, rocking my head to the tune of the music, trying to be less conspicuous.
Sure enough there he is. No wonder itâs so hot in here, the devil is sitting two chairs down.
Thereâs one man in between us, an older man with gray hair whoâs paying no attention to his surroundings but only to his phone.
Dannyâs sitting down with a glass of what looks like whiskey in his hand. Heâs twirling the glass of alcohol in his hand, lost in thought and for the first time since seeing him last, . Still, he looks gorgeous as ever dressed so simply. Heâs wearing a black sweatshirt, a baseball cap, and what looks like his dog tags under his shirt. Heat encapsulates me and rushes in between my legs. It should be a crime for Danny to look so undeniably handsome. Even his side profile causes me to lose my morals and it isnât fair.
Already turning my head, something catches my eye and I stop midway before I go back to shooting glares at Meredith. A beautiful perky blonde woman, wearing a very revealing dress that barely covers anything, sits next to Danny on the right side of him. Her beach-wavy hair jumps up and falls over her shoulders as she sits down, giving Danny a kiss on the cheek and stroking his arm, massaging him.
He has a girlfriend. It explains why he got so weird after putting his mouth in between my legs.
I turn back around to face Meredith and Emilia. They both are analyzing what just happened and empathy is written all over their faces. They both frown and Emilia touches my shoulder, reassuring me.
âIâm fine. Honestly, itâs whatever, I had a feeling something was up.â I shrug. But it was a lie. It wasnât fine. This man had his teeth on my nipples just a few days ago and now heâs sitting next to his girlfriend as it appears. Heâs a fucking slime bag. My body grows cold, the heat subsiding and vanishing as quickly as it appeared. All I wanted to do is go back to the dance floor and not let my last night with my friends go to waste.
Gabriel finally approaches us taking our requests for new drinks. Meredith orders more tequila shots and I had already taken about three sangrias before this, so I passed on ordering more drinks, settling for one of the shots.
âAlright, I gotcha ladies.â Gabriel winks at Meredith.
âGabe! I need another drink here for the lady.â A deep voice roars over the music and Iâve come to know that voice all too well. Danny calls over to Gabriel and I watch him realize who Gabrielâs talking to. At first, Danny looks shocked to see me but then his expression disappears in a flash, replaced with a wicked smirk.
Gabriel has his palms, supporting himself up with the counter, and looks over to Danny and the girl next to him.
âAnd what would the lady like?â Gabriel asks nonchalantly.
Danny then grins at me and that grin looks so new to me, thereâs something so sinful about his smile. Heâs never looked at me like that before and it takes me back, uncomfortably.
âA sangria.â He calls over to Gabriel, his blue eyes never leaving mine and I know he did this to be spiteful.
I mouth the word, , to him hoping he gets it through his mind Iâm catching onto his antagonization. He knows thatâs my favorite type of drink and now heâs ordering it for âthe ladyâ. His grin widens even more when he sees my eyes glare at him. He looks unashamed knowing Iâm seeing him now with a different woman on his arm. Literally. The results prevail: heâs another slimy military guy.
âYou got it, Danny!â Gabe responds.
âWait you know him personally?â Meredith asks Gabriel while tugging on his sleeve, stopping him from leaving.
âYeah, thatâs Danny Rider. Heâs a good friend of mine. We served together. Iâm out of the Navy now but we still keep in touch. Thereâs not a thing I wouldnât do for the man. He saved my life multiple times in Afghanistan.â Gabe says, his words rushing out of his mouth, hurrying to go get all of our drinks done. Gabriel whips around and starts on all the orders.
I turn towards Meredith and Emilia.
âDo you want to leave?â Emilia asks.
I hesitate. I just found out that Danny had a girlfriend this entire time and the proof was sitting two chairs down.
But most of all, why was he being so weird and rude towards me? I donât understand why heâs trying to get under my skin.
Shouldnât he be apologetic and not trying to get under my skin like I did something to deserve it?
Would be a good start. All those lies he spewed about not being a relationship type of guy upsets me.
I would be lying if I said I didnât care and for some odd reason I did. Iâm so fucking naive. I always fall in love quickly and believe every single man I meet is honest and wonât hurt me. You would think I learned my lesson with Shane, but Iâm a stupid girl. A stupid I contemplate leaving and I would usually agree in this situation that itâs best for me to go and just end the night on some ice cream and Parks and Recreation. But Iâm trying to start over and become a new version of myself. A version of myself that stops letting others affect me so much.
âFuck no,â I reach out for the tequila shots next to me and grab one. Gabriel was fast with our order but now heâs attending to Danny, both of them laughing about something I canât hear.
âSalud,â I shout at Meredith and Emilia raising my glass in the air, then downing the burning liquid. Meredith and Emilia just stare at me bewildered but I donât care. I wince as it burns down my throat and I let out a sigh to catch my breath. I slam the glass down on the counter and I grab Emilia and Meredith by the hands, pulling them towards the dance floor.
âAre you sure youâre, okay?â Meredith asks, studying me.
âIâm fine,â I say, annoyed. Meredith and Emilia both look at each other and shrug before finally joining me and we start dancing the night away again. My visionâs starting to blur and spin but I donât care. It feels good to finally let myself indulge in some drinks, let loose and get drunk with my girls and not cower away from a man that intimidates me with only his presence.