Itâs official. Iâve been surfing the online dating wave for four nights and itâs already bleeding into my offline life.
I have fifty-two matches, all hot leads. At this rate, Iâll need CRM software to manage all the conversations.
Today, his highness is going to meet us to discuss his vision for the Motor Works factory and Iâm absolutely exhausted with swiping fatigue. Iâm also a bit anxious about the awkward way Jack and I left things after the wedding.
I sip my coffee sifting through emails when a meeting invite pops up from Max.
Catch-up 09:15 Happy Bean Cafe
Strange. His meetings are usually anally scripted. Even for a quick catch-up, heâll bullet point his agenda.
And we rarely do them outside the office.
âIâm away to give Darren a kicking,â Nisha says, getting up from her desk. âIâll meet you back here to walk over to the Lexington office at 10, okay?â
I nod, getting my coat. The meeting with Jack Knight isnât until 10:30 but since itâs on one of the top floors of Londonâs version of a skyscraper and we have to get through security, we need to go early. âSee you at 10. Iâm popping out to meet Max first.â
âWait up!â she calls from the opposite direction. âWhy do you have your Facebook status set to Jack Knight?â
âHuh?â I wrinkle my nose. âWhat are you on about?â
She strides back and shows me her phone, with Facebook open.
I do a double take, clamping my hand over my mouth.
No. Shit the bed.
âI havenât,â I whisper.
âYou have, you fool. Hurry up and remove it.â
All the air leaves my windpipe. I must have set it last night.
âWere you creeping over Jack Knight, naughty girl? Bit strange for someone who claims to dislike him so much.â
âOh, God, itâs been like that all freakinâ night,â I whimper, jabbing my phone code in.
I might cry.
âCalm your tits. I only just saw the notification that âBonnie is feeling Jack Knight.â
âThis is horrendous.â I quiver as the damn status is finally wiped. âIâve been feeling Jack Knight all night.â
âI wouldnât worry. Your profile is boring. No one will look at it.â
âGee, thanks, even my fake life is boring.â
âThis is why I need to supervise your online dating.â
I screw up my face again.
What a start to the day. This is a bad omen. I knew I should have worn my black obsidian crystals, the stone of protection.
***
Max is waiting in the back corner of the Happy Bean Cafe, a cafe full of stressed bankers and executives psyching themselves up to join the Canary Wharf rat race.
âMorning!â I take a seat opposite him. âItâs dark here. You know there are seats out front beside the window?â
He shrugs and runs his hands through his hair. âItâs quieter here. How are you?â
âCanât complain for a Thursday. You?â
âYeah, not too bad. Not bad.â He leans forward, putting his hands in the prayer position on the table. âDid you have a good time at the wedding?â
âGreat time, you?â I respond, confused by the small talk.
âFantastic. Really good day.â He keeps smiling at me, and I smile back, unnerved.
Oh, shit.
Of course, itâs obvious what Max wants.
âMax, the status has been cleared,â I say in a rush. âI was doing investigative Facebooking for the project when I accidentally set Jack Knightâs name as my status.â
âStatus?â He frowns. âWhat are you on about?â
Oh. âNever mind.â I titter. Sounds like Nishaâs right. âJust a thing on my Facebook profile.â
âI donât look at your profile. Anyway, Bonnie, I, uh.â He clears his throat like he has something trapped in it. âI wanted to wait until after the wedding to talk to you.â
âOkay.â I swallow. âGo ahead.â
âYou know how important your happiness is to me.â He pauses for a long beat. âWe were together for four years. You were, still are, an extremely important part of my life. I still have a lot of affection for you.â
My eyes widen.
Shit.
This is actually happening.
I shift in my seat, drawing in a sharp breath. As much as I had fantasised about Max asking me to get back togetherâthe grovelling, the begging on his knees, the strangled wailing of a tormented manâIâm not prepared.
I didnât think heâd bloody well do it in a cafe beside the office.
âGo on,â I say breathlessly.
âI want you to find someone who makes you happy, like I have.â
Like he has.
Like he has what?
Three subtle words slipped in at the end.
The three simple words that grow legs and kick me hard in the belly.
âCome again?â I ask in a strangled voice.
âRecently, Iâve been spending time with someone.â
âDanielle.â I quiver. âI know this.â
He blinks. âWhat? No. No, not Danielle. We were just messaging, I never met her. That was a mistake.â
âPretty intimate messaging if you are talking about your dick.â I scowl.
His jaw ticks. âIt was a private message you werenât supposed to see. I learned my lesson.â He pauses to adjust his cufflinks. âItâs Olivia.â
âOlivia?â I repeat slowly as if Iâm trying to learn the English language. âOkay. Who is she?â
His frown deepens. âOlivia. In our admin team.â
âFrom the office?â I freeze. âThe admin at Bradshaw?â I add because he must be talking about another admin in another office.
He looks at me wearily.
âAre you fucking joking?â I choke out. âYou hooked up with someone from the office, Max?â
This is a joke. Sometimes Maxâs humour is off.
âYouâre joking.â My voice cracks.
âNo,â he says firmly. âBonnie, Iââ
âCould you not have looked farther than across the boardroom to find happiness?â I cut him off in a high-pitched squeak.
I think of all the meetings Iâve sat through with Olivia and Max and feel sick. With her blonde hair and fair complexion, she could be Danielle and my younger sister. âGod, youâre so predictable, Max.â
Silence.
âAs I said, weâre spending time getting to know each other.â
âStop talking in riddles. Sex. Youâre having sex with her.â
âCalm down, Bonnie,â he says through gritted teeth. âPeople are listening.â
âCalm down? This is bloody disrespectful, Max! You donât do this to someone you were engaged to. Could you not have picked one of the other millions of people in London? Not someone I see every day.â I search his face for some sort of emotion. âCan you not see how insensitive this is? Giving me a front-row ticket to your new romance?â
âWe both need to move on, Bonnie.â
My arms flap like an agitated wasp. âThis isnât moving on! This is rubbing it in my face.â
âWell, thatâs not my intention.â
Looking at him, I believe him. He hasnât given me a second thought. Bradshaw Brown is a convenient hunting ground, and he just replaced me in a matter-of-fact way.
I should quit. I should quit on the spot. But who would that harm?
Me. Not Max.
âThese things arenât planned. Olivia and I want to do everything possible to make sure you feel comfortable.â
How dare he.
I laugh. A demonic laugh. âWhat do you expect us to do? Should the three of us skip around the office holding hands like the Teletubbies?â
I avert my gaze out the window and bite together my trembling lips to hold back the flood of tears. I feel like the last four years meant . . . nothing. If he really loved me as much as he said he did, this would be much more difficult for him.
When I look back, I catch him checking his watch. He only gave himself thirty minutes for this meeting.
âHow long? How long have you been shagging her?â
âDonât be abrasive.â He draws in another deep breath. âWe started getting closer a few months back.â
âWhen?â I need precision. âA few is anything between two and eleven.â
âThree, maybe four.â
I make a noise like wind being sucked from a windpipe.
Four it is then. Maybe five. Only two months after our wedding was cancelled.
âYou have to be fucking joking.â Unlessâ¦I stare at him, horrified. The timing is so close to our break-up. âDid you start seeing her before we separated?â
âNo. Youâre being ridiculous.â He scowls at me. âDonât you know me at all?â
I breathe a little easier.
âI thought you were over me, Bonnie,â he says in a tone that sounds like heâs blaming me.
âI didnât expect you to move on with someone in the bloody office as both of us,â I snap.
âThatâs why I couldnât tell you in case it didnât work out. I didnât want to unnecessarily hurt you.â
âGee, thanks, youâre so considerate.â I stiffen. âIs she the reason that we broke up?â
His frown deepens. âNo, of course not.â
âAnd you choose work hours to tell me. Right beside the office.â
He at least has the grace to look sheepish. âI apologise for that. I wanted to do it today before Iâm out of the office tomorrow afternoon.â
âYou have the sensitivity of a cockroach.â
He opens his mouth and then closes it, deciding arguing is fruitless.
I narrow my eyes. âWhy is it suddenly urgent now?â
Now he looks really uncomfortable. âOlivia and I are taking a few daysâ break. It may become more obvious around the office. Iâve informed Bradshaw and Brown, so itâs all out in the open. Theyâre fine with it.â He looks at me as if I should care what the partners think about my replacement.
Of course, they are. Theyâre both old millionaires. So long as weâre making them money, they wouldnât care if we all have a massive orgy together.
Notably, the partners are higher up the list of people to be notified about the new happy couple than me.
I donât know if I want more details or not. âWhereâre you going?â
Thereâs a long, loaded pause. âThis hasnât been easy for me either, Bonnie.â
âAnswer the question.â
âSince I had done so much research about it, weâre heading to Svalbard.â
No.
Pain funnels into my heart. I donât understand this version of Max. âOur honeymoon destination?â The trip we lost a hefty deposit from. The trip of a lifetime we were due to go on in a few weeks as a married couple.
He stays silent.
âSvalbardâs mine,â I snarl.
âIâm sure Norway would beg to differ.â
Itâs the damn twitch of his lips that makes me see red. Before I understand what Iâm doing, my hand has connected with the open bottle and is spraying water over his face like a victorious Formula One driver.
He reacts too slowly. Water runs down his face and shirt.
Thereâs a collective gasp around me. I got him good.
He gawks at me open-mouthed, blinking water away from his eyes. âAre you out of your mind?â
âYouâre an asshole. I hope your dick falls off.â
âMature, Bonnie. Really mature.â He stands up, wiping his shirt down. âI donât have time for this. I expected you to react like an adult. Do you realise we have to be at Lexington in thirty minutes? Lucky for you, Iâve got a clean shirt.â
âWell, you shouldnât have time-boxed this.â I canât even see him properly through my tears. I didnât think I had any tears left for Max. But he keeps on delivering.
âIâm willing to forget this but pull yourself together before the meeting. Do you want me to send Nisha down?â
He hovers over me.
I shake my head.
âLetâs talk about this when youâve calmed down.â
âIt was our honeymoon,â I choke out as he walks away.
Eight weeks. Eight weeks was all it took to get over me. The first four weeks were spent cancelling the relationship. How did he have time?
And itâs not even a shag. Or a fling. You donât go on holiday with a fling. No, a holiday is a promise of intent. An agreement in principle that this may be serious.
Svalbard. Out of the two hundred or whatever number of countries there are in the world, he had to go to the place we picked for a honeymoon destination? I hope he gets eaten by a bear. Or better, his dick gets gangrene and really does fall off.
When I track this on the mood spreadsheet my therapist is making me keep, the graph will go into a negative spike. Iâve been incrementally on the up. This will look worse than a crypto crash.
My phone vibrates in my bag. Nisha.
Max is probably back at the office already in work mode, rallying the troops. I cancel the call and message her saying Iâll walk to Lexington by myself.
At least thereâs one thing I know for sureâthis day can only get better.