Chapter 32: Fighting Mr. Knight: Chapter 32

I’m in the middle of a painfully hot shower when the door buzzes. The only people who visit me unannounced are Amazon delivery men, especially at 8 a.m. on a Saturday.

But I know from the buzz it’s not a delivery guy. I can feel the annoyance through the buzz.

With shampoo still in my hair, I wrap a towel around me and rush down the stairs.

When I open the door, he has a deep frown on his face.

I lay awake all night worrying about how I would face Jack, to the point I felt physically ill.

And now he’s here.

For a moment, we just stare at each other.

My mind goes into survival mode. Nothing has to change. Jack knows who killed his father. He has his answers.

We can forget about this and move on.

We can go to Crystal Palace Park today. Jack said he hasn’t been there since he was a kid and wants to go back. Jack wants to check if there’s a cafe still there that his nan used to take him to.

We can do that today.

I’ll do anything Jack wants. Today and every single day after.

A nerve throbs in his forehead. I recognise it now. It’s the only giveaway when Jack doesn’t feel in control. When my beautiful boyfriend feels vulnerable.

He clears his throat. “You left without telling me. You know I might not have much experience with relationships but I’m pretty sure that’s not what you do.”

I take a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Where did you go, Bonnie?”

“Dad was ill.” The lies are stacking up. “I was worried it was something worse but he’s fine.”

A deep line forms between his brows as the wheels turn in his head. “You went to your dad’s house at that time of night? I would have taken you.”

“I didn’t want to ruin your evening.”

“If you think I’d prefer to drink in a bar surrounded by bankers and tossers than spend it with you, then you don’t know me well enough.”

My chin quivers. I do not deserve this man.

“I was worried sick, and your text messages were so damn vague.” His jaw tightens then he sighs. “Look, it’s fine. Is your dad okay?” He looks at me concerned. “What’s wrong with him? I can go over with you today.”

“He’s fine,” I say quickly, the thought of Jack coming into contact with Dad . . . “It was just a stomach bug.”

He nods but stares at me, not convinced.

I’m a terrible liar.

And an even worse girlfriend.

His expression softens. “Well? Are you going to let me in?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.” I open the door wider and he follows me up the stairs.

“There’s shampoo dripping down your face.”

“Do you mind if I wash it out? There’s fresh coffee in the percolator. I’ll be ten minutes.”

“Bonnie, wait.” He grabs my arm, and my breath catches in my throat as his gaze remains fixed on me with an unspoken question.

He knows.

“Yes, Jack?”

“Where’s my kiss?”

I force a smile, laughing shakily. “Sorry.”

He grabs me around the waist and pulls me close, but he doesn’t press his lips against mine. Open up to me, Bonnie, his dark eyes beg for a long beat.

I break the gaze by closing my eyes and pressing my lips to his.

His mouth is warm and comforting. Sweet but intense all at the same time. I feel his longing deep in the kiss. He needs me and I’m hurting him.

Shampoo tickles my cheek. I use the excuse to dash to the bathroom. I can’t continue like this.

The worst thing is that I can’t talk to anyone. Telling Kate or Nisha would put them in an unreasonable situation. Also, Kate’s just back from her honeymoon so it wouldn’t be fair.

And the one person who is calm and strong enough to help me will hate my guts when he finds out.

I close my eyes and stand still under the rainfall shower as the cold water runs down my body. It used to be a dribble, but Jack worked his magic and now it’s passable as a shower.

I turn the water fully to cold. I want it to hit my face so hard, it numbs my brain.

I could be rolling around naked in the snow at the Antarctic, and it wouldn’t shock me enough.

The cold is as useless as the heat at wiping everything from my head.

Every time I close my eyes, I imagine it as if I were there. The questions eat me up. Morbid questions that I try to excommunicate from my head but can’t.

Questions I don’t want to know the answer to but haunt my every thought.

Did Dad watch or did he look away?

Did Jack’s dad plead with them?

Did he die straight away?

Questions I will never, ever ask Dad.

I don’t know if I’ll convince Dad to go to the police. I don’t even know if I want him to. He might not have stabbed Jack’s dad, but he was guilty of perverting the course of justice. He might even get manslaughter or worse, murder.

From my obsessive internet searches last night, the police see things like this as a serious crime and they always go to the Crown court.

Dad’s not a bad man. He did a bad thing but he’s still my father.

Either way I’ll lose Jack.

Thick arms envelop me pulling my back flush to a warm chest. I didn’t hear the shower door open.

“Christ,” he mutters behind me and turns the water to hot.

I feel his hardened cock against my butt cheeks as his hands come up to massage my scalp. His fingers knead my head in slow sensual strokes.

Damn, that feels good.

Tingles travel from the nerve endings on my head down my body.

I push my head back, sinking into his chest and moan softly.

Soon enough I will lose Jack but for now, I need him.

All of him.

I turn to face him, and my breath stops. I’ll never get used to this view.

He’s rock hard and his dark eyes blaze with desire. If he’s not the most beautiful manly creature I’ve ever seen, shoot me down.

He slowly strokes himself. Long hard strokes as he keeps his longing gaze steady on me. There’s nothing more arousing than watching this man touch himself. “I’m always thinking of you when I do this.” He laughs softly. “I’m always thinking of you when I do anything these days. It’s driving my trainer crazy.”

The nerve in his forehead jumps again.

“I’m always thinking of you, Bonnie.”

I swallow my tears. “I’m always thinking of you too, Jack.”

“Good. So, we’re both on the same level.” He takes his hand off his cock. “I don’t want any secrets between us.”

Fuck.

“I have something to confess. That night at the castle I walked past your room, and I thought you were crying. I saw you,” he clears his throat sheepishly, “touching yourself. I’m sorry, Bonnie. I’m an asshole. I couldn’t look away.”

His eyes stay trained on me.

Double fuck.

I wasn’t expecting that.

“It’s okay.” I smile weakly. I should be embarrassed. I would be, under normal circumstances. Or maybe turned on. Angry? I don’t know how I should feel these days.

He blows out a long breath and he physically relaxes. “You’re not mad?”

“No, Jack,” I say softly.

“In that case,” he says, his throat bobbing, “who were you thinking about?” His brows draw together in anticipation and his expression tells me his mood hinges on my answer.

I pause.

“You.”

“Damn.” He breathes out heavily. A wide satisfied smile spreads across his face. “That makes me the luckiest man in London. You’ve just made my day.”

I can’t take this. The emotion is going to swallow me whole. If Jack says anything else sweet, I’ll break down.

I wrap my fingers around his cock and the energy between us shifts again. He thickens in my hand as I slide up and down his length. Water trickles down his cock, lubricating my strokes.

A growl rumbles from his throat as he places his hands on either side of the shower wall and gives me full control.

“You’re dying for my cock, aren’t you?” he says in a husky voice, widening his legs. “On your knees, sweetheart.”

I do as I’m told.

I take as much of his cock in my mouth as I can as he grabs a fistful of my hair. He’s too big for me to take him all so I fist his base with my hand. I need to feel every inch of him.

“Bonnie,” he says in a long hard groan that makes my thighs clench.

His hands tighten in my hair as I take him deep in my mouth. My hands slide over his buttocks to hold him in place as I suck up and down his entire length in a slow and steady motion that I know drives him crazy.

“Darlin’, fuck, you’re good at this.”

My pace quickens as I slide him in and out of my mouth, sucking him from base to tip. Loving how he groans each time he hits my throat. Loving the feel of his dick swelling and pulsing in my mouth.

I’m going for Olympic gold at cock-sucking at this rate.

“Good girl,” he breathes. “Suck it nice and deep.” His hips thrust to hit my throat even harder, and I fight the gag reflex.

I stare up with wide eyes watching his chest heave up and down and his face contort. He’s sweating. I love how much I can affect him.

I may no longer have control of anything else in my life, but I have control of this.

“Bonnie. So. Damn. Good. Fuck,” he growls through his teeth. His thrusts grow more aggressive until my ass is backed up against the cold shower wall. “I’m gonna come, sweetheart,” he warns in a ragged breath.

I need him to come harder than he ever has before. I’ve never needed it so badly. I suck faster and harder as his curses and groans echo around the bathroom.

His head falls forward, his eyes close and his whole body becomes rigid. His thighs tense and his ass cheeks clench. With a final strangled groan from him, I feel the jerky pulses of his dick emptying in my mouth, and I swallow down every last drop of him.

For a long moment, he stands with his eyes closed and his hands palming the shower wall above me, his cock still in my face. I see the Knight family coat of arms tattoo on his arm and I quickly look away. After a beat, his fractured breathing calms.

“Bonnie.” He opens his eyes to stare down at me, dazed. “Damn.”

In one swift motion, he has me lifted off the floor and my legs wrapped around his waist.

When he thrusts two fingers into me to find me wet, he groans and pushes them in deeper. “So wet, just from sucking my cock.”

My pussy clenches around his fingers. I need him to literally fuck me out of my mind. To push down the guilt and dread.

“Fuck me,” I demand, jutting my hips against him. “I need you inside me right now.”

He chuckles softly and walks us both out of the shower and down the hall to my bedroom.

I think he’s going to place me on the bed. Instead, he lies back on the bed, pulling me on top of him. He clasps his hands behind his head as if he’s sunbathing but his jaw works, and I know he’s fighting for control.

“Go ahead,” he says with a lazy smile. “Sit on it. It’s yours.”

I slide my legs either side of him so that I’m straddling him. I lower myself down on his cock and let out a strangled moan.

He growls in approval but still he doesn’t touch me. “Show me how you want to ride my cock, Bonnie.”

Not a problem, happy to.

He watches through hooded eyes as I slide up and down on his cock, grinding at just the right angle to feel the familiar zings of pleasure stir and swell in my clit. Hot pressure builds at my core.

Oh. God. Yes. This is exactly what I need.

I feel each and every inch of him fill me to the hilt as I slide him in deep again and again.

His hand comes down to press gently against my stomach as his thumb caresses and works my clit. My stomach contracts at his touch and my head tips back. The pressure threatens to explode.

“So good, Jack,” I whimper. My clit feels so sensitive, it’s almost painful. “Oh God, I can’t hold it any longer. I’m . . .” My head rolls back as my body spasms and wave upon wave of tingling pleasure washes over me.

Moaning, I squeeze tightly around him in intense heavenly contractions. I feel it in every nerve, every muscle, every cell.

“Oh, fuck.” He groans as my movements become more frantic. “That’s it. I need you riding me every morning. Exactly like this.”

My pussy tightens and quivers around his dick as the orgasm explodes through me. It must send him over the edge, because in seconds he shudders and grabs my hips holding me tight in place so that I’ve no choice but to take him deep as he empties into me with one final forceful jerk.

Still inside me and with his hands claiming my hips, he looks up at me with a raw vulnerability that I never thought Jack Knight capable of.

“You make me so happy, Bonnie Casey.” His voice is thick with emotion. “I’m in love with you.” He stares at me, giving me everything he has. The look makes my heartstrings snap. “I’m so in love with you. All I want is you.”

Tears well in my eyes.

But not for the reasons he thinks.

I’m the luckiest girl in London but my luck is on an egg-timer.