Song Tingshen felt relieved when he saw Ruan Xia smiling. Since she smiled, it meant there was room to turn the situation around. It also meant that whatever he had done wrong wasnât that serious. It could be corrected even if he still hadnât figured out what he had done wrong.
Ruan Xia thought; since Song Tingshen had laid his cards out on the table, she could only join him. After all, it would benefit both of them if they spoke clearly. It was truly pointless to go back and forth with guessing.
âActually, you didnât say anything wrong wrong or do anything wrong.â Ruan Xia paused before continuing. âHowever, to be on the safe side, I think you shouldnât say those sort of words if you donât have feelings for me. Thatâll make me misunderstand. To be clear, when I say feelings, I meant romantic feelings. Not the feelings a man has for his childâs mother.... Do you understand what Iâm saying?â
If Song Tingshen was interested in her because she was Little Wangâs mom and wanted them to be together to give Little Wang a warm family, then she wasnât interested.
They could already give Little Wang a healthy environment with their current setup. If he wasnât interested in her, then she didnât want to waste her feelings that way. She didnât want to be tormented by her feelings, not from someone else or from herself.
Maybe it was because she was rather greedy. She wanted a love that was based purely on feelings, not because he was taking other things into consideration. If she couldnât have that, she was okay with it. She was okay with continuing to be single at heart. However, if the other party wanted her feelings, then he had to pay with feelings that were just as pure as hers.
If he teased her too often without sincerity, she would misunderstand and think his teasing was for real. If he didnât like her, then he shouldnât tease her. Thank you for the cooperation.
Song Tingshen got nervous. It was rare for him to get flustered. He wanted to give a jokey response and let the moment pass, but he knew that a womanâs mind was too hard to guess. If he wasnât mindful of his response or didnât respond well, then the possibility of Ruan Xia and him might vanish. If that happened, they would be two people that pretended to be a couple with a good relationship for the rest of their lives.
He was silent for a while. Just when Ruan Xia thought he was acquiescing to her guess, he spoke in a low voice, âI think you misunderstood me.â
Ruan Xia didnât say anything. She waited for his following words.
âYes, I have to admit that at first I was hoping that you could be a good mother. That way Little Wang wil be happier and itâll be beneficial to his development. Thatâs why I said at that time that Iâll agree to any of your conditions as long as I can do them. At the time I said those words, I only saw you as Little Wangâs mother. I hope you can understand why I felt that way at first. Our relationship hadnât been good leading up to that point.â
Ruan Xia wasnât disappointed when she heard these words. That was because she knew he wasnât lying to her.
âAs for how I feel now, I still canât...â Song Tingshen couldnât quite get the words out. For an unromantic man that didnât have experience in romantic relationships, there were words he couldnât say even if you put a knife against his neck. And yet, he knew that if he didnât clearly communicate now what he was feeling to Ruan Xia, he might not have the chance in the future. So, he was inevitably somewhat anxious. He clenched his hand, gritted his teeth, and said in the quietest of voices, âI canât tell you that I... love you.â