Venezuela âYou sure about this?â Nick asked as we made our way onto the tarmac of the little, private airport.
âSure we can do it? Absolutely. The question is if youâre sure about it,â I answered. âYou know Pax will keep the cameras off you if thatâs why youâre worried.â
âItâs not the cameras.â He stopped close to the ramp that had been put up to the door of the small plane. âI just donât want to get my hopes up, to think itâs something I can do only to find out heâs wrong.â
âIâm never wrong,â Cruz said, coming up behind him.
I made the mistake of looking at him, and immediately lost my train of thought. He had on simple cargo shorts, a tight, mouthwatering black Under Armour T-shirt, and a backward baseball hat.
He looked every inch of my Cruz and none of Dr. Delgado.
Six weeks togetherâalmost three months since weâd metâand I couldnât imagine not having him in my life. Sure, I was annoyed to hell that I couldnât kiss him in public, that we had to watch our hands, our eyes, and our words, but in less than two weeks that would all be over.
Eleven days.
We could go public, and I couldnât wait.
âYou sure?â Nick asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
âAbsolutely. Iâve done the research, Little John ordered the gear, and weâre going to do this. But only if you want. Iâm not in the habit of throwing people off mountains who donât want to jump,â Cruz told him.
âAnd you donât mind not wingsuiting with these nuts?â Nick motioned to where Pax and Landon handed over Rachelâs and Leahâs gear.
âI have hundreds of jumps under my belt, and Iâm completely happy never looking like a flying squirrel. A man has to have some dignity. Besides, it would be my honor to jump next to you.â
Nick sucked in a breath and looked around our small posse. It was an Originals-only trip, but with the cameras on board, Cruz was here in an official capacity. Unofficially, heâd found a way to light a fire in Nick I hadnât seen in the last year, and I was immeasurably thankful.
âHey, can we do some tape real fast?â Bobby asked me, and I grimaced.
âAbsolutely. Now seems like the perfect time, donât you think?â I quipped sarcastically.
âTheyâre still loading the plane, and Pax told us that weâd be in the distance for most of this trip. Weâre only allowed to capture the jump from below the falls. GoPros only on top.â
I could have kissed Pax. That gave Nick a sense of privacy for the moment heâd have to make the actual decision.
âAsk away,â I told him.
âSo weâre here in Venezuela, and youâre taking two days off the super ramp. This close to the open, when you havenât landed the double back, do you think thatâs the smartest course of action?â
And I was back to wanting to punch him.
I forced the Rebel smile. âI think weâre in Venezuela. Angel Falls is a BASE jumperâs dream, let alone with wingsuits. Itâs hard to pass that up.â
âAnd the double backflip?â
âWe still have the ramps in Aruba and the day before in Cuba. If I nail it, Iâll use it in the Open.â
âAnd if you donât?â
âThen I wonât use it.â
Bobbyâs face fell. Crashes had always brought more hits than successful jumps. Nothing like the promise of watching someone demolish his or her body to get the clicks.
âAnd now that Zoeâs been sent back to the States, do you feel like you should reevaluate the training regimen? Itâs hard to lose another Renegade this close to the end.â
âZoeâs injury was definitely unfortunate, but as Renegades, weâre personally liable for our own safety and our own decisions. We wish her the best for recovery and canât wait to see her back in L.A. at the Renegade Ranch.â
Bobbyâs gaze narrowed. âAnd how is the loss of another Renegade woman affecting you? It canât be easy being one of the only women in the company, and especially with the loss of your sisterââ
âAnd weâre done!â I gave Bobby a go-to-hell smile and turned on my heel to find Cruz waiting.
âYou okay?â he asked.
âFan-fucking-tastic,â I answered, climbing up the stairs to the plane.
At some point I was going to have to answer the questions, especially the ones I asked myself whenever Brooke came to mind.
â¦
Four hours and another airport later, we lifted off with a fleet of three helicopters. The leafy green canopy fell away from us as we flew across the Canaima National Park toward the tabletop mountain.
Our helicopter was Originals-only. Nick, Pax, Landon, and me.
It felt like it had with every stunt before Nick had been injuredâthe four of us setting out to see what record we could break, what experience we could capture. Except we were in a foreign country, headed toward the tallest waterfall in the world, and one of us couldnât walk.
We werenât indestructible anymore, and we knew it, but we still had one another.
âHow are you feeling?â I asked Nick through the headset.
âI havenât decided,â he answered.
âDonât take this as a hallmark moment, but damn, itâs nice to be back together,â Landon said, looking at me over his shoulder.
âYeah, it really is,â I told him. My heart was full as we curved along the river, coming closer to the flat-topped mountain. The waterfall came into view, and my breath stalled in my chest. How was I so lucky that this was my life? âThere she is.â
âWhoa,â Nick said, looking out the window.
âIâm glad youâre here,â I told him.
âMe, too.â
âHey,â Bobby said through the headset. Weâd left him on the ground with the rest of the production crew. âYou know thereâs still time just in case youâve chosen to let us tape thisâ¦â He sounded hopeful.
âNot a chance in hell,â Pax said with a small laugh. âWhatever we record on the GoPros is fair game, but the rest is for us and us alone. Just this one time.â
Bobby sighed. âYeah, I figured it was going to be something like that.â
âYouâve got guys on the ground?â Landon asked.
âTwo crews. One at the landing site for the wingsuits, and one for the BASE jumpers. That BASE footage is just for you. Not the documentary. You know Iâd kill to include it, but this is your private moment, and that footage is for your personal use.â
âThank you. I appreciate it,â Nick said.
âThank you for choosing me for this job in the first place. You guys enjoy your jump.â
We landed before the others, giving Landon and Pax time to get Nick into his chair. Weâd chosen the smoothest drop-off location, the one with the easiest path to get Nick to the edge.
The plateau was lush and green with trees and giant boulders, with no hint that the edge dropped off over three thousand feet to the bottom. I stepped out onto the rough gray stone and stood as close to the edge as I dared without a chute and looked over the view, trying to take in every detail. A few moments later, the helicopter took off, and the guys flanked me. Iâd never felt so small and yet a part of something so big.
There were so many things about this trip I could do again if I wanted. Anytime I felt like it, I could hop a flight to Istanbul, or hike up to Everest base camp, or visit Machu Picchu. But thisâstanding on the top of Angel Falls with all of my best friendsâthis was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of moment and was all the more precious for it.
âSome life we have,â Pax said.
âNot too bad,â Nick added.
âEver wonder why it is we find the best views, highest peaks, and then hurl ourselves off them?â Landon asked.
âBecause itâs fun,â I answered with a shrug.
The guys laughed, and our moment passed as the next helicopter landed. Cruz got out, helping Rachel down.
As the chopper lifted off, it felt like it took a few hundred pounds of pressure with it. No production crew this time, just us. I glanced around at my friends, all working their gear, even Cruz latching Nick into the chair with the harness he designed, and I smiled.
This is more like it.
Here we werenât documentary stars. There was no pressure for ratings, for the perfect shot. We were just a group of friends with a few GoPros about to pull off something epic.
I picked the spot next to Pax and laid out my gear, winding the straps of the rig through my wingsuit.
âWhat are you thinking about?â Pax asked.
âWeâre about to hurl ourselves off a three-thousand-foot cliff.â
âRight.â
âWith no parachute.â
âTrue.â
âInteresting day.â
âInteresting life,â he said with a grin.
Rachel motioned to me, and I walked up the hill to meet her. âWhatâs up? You ready to jump with Cruz?â I asked. Sheâd be BASE jumping just ahead of Nick on Cruzâs team.
âAs ready as Iâll ever be. He chose the best place with the sheerest drop for Nick, so thereâs almost no chance ofâ¦â
âOf him slamming into one of the outcroppings beneath?â I suggested.
âYeah, that. Iâll jump first, then Cruz is going to literally push our friend off the mountain. The plan is damn near flawless.â
âGood.â
âOh, and he wants to see you,â she said, motioning to the rock formation to my right, closer to the falls.
âThank you. And thanks again for not telling anyone. I know itâs above and beyond.â
Her eyes darted to Landon. âI hate keeping something from him. You need to tell them soon.â
âIâm scared they wonât understand.â Pax would think Iâd been taken advantage of, and Landon would simply think Iâd lost my mind.
âItâs not their job to understand. Itâs their job to support and protect you, the same way youâve done for them time and again. But you owe them the chance to be that for you.â
She was right. Weâd be at the Cuba Open in a week, and then Miami. I needed to tell them first as long as Cruz was okay with it. Iâd promised to keep us a secret, and I would until he was in the clear. I thanked her for covering for me and raced over to the rock formation.
âI hate sneaking around like this,â Cruz said, pulling me into his arms.
We were sheltered here, hidden from the others.
âWe wonât have to for much longer, right?â
He nodded, his chin resting on the top of my head. âJust a couple weeks. Then weâll be back in Miami, heading to L.A., and youâll no longer be my student.â
âAnd we can be open?â There was still a part of me, as small as it was, that was terrified heâd change his mindâthat I was nothing more than a ship fling with a touch of taboo for excitement.
âIâll change my Facebook relationship status and everything,â he said, laughing.
I tilted my head up for a kiss, and he more than obliged. Our tongues tangled and danced to the symphony of rushing water behind us. That same energy took hold of me, all of my senses focusing on Cruzâhis taste, scent, the feel of his hair in my fingers, the sound of my name on his lips. How did this get better every time?
âWe should get back to the others,â I said, reluctantly pulling myself from the kiss.
âTrue. Be careful, okay?â His thumbs stroked my cheekbones.
âAlways. You, too.â
Our eyes locked, and I leaned up on my toes, kissing him softly. âI love you.â
âI love you more,â he said, pressing a small, pink flower into my hand. âI found it near the edge of the cliff.â
âThank you,â I told him, holding the flower as I walked away. It had narrow petals in the shape of a triangle with a smaller bud at the end. Iâd never seen anything like it. It was an original, just like the man who gave it to me.
Careful with my footsteps, I made my way back down to the launch zone, tucking the flower into my breast pocket for safekeeping.
âEverything okay?â Landon asked.
âPerfect,â I said with a smile, and meant it.
âOkay, then letâs get to it,â he ordered with a clap of his hands and a mile-wide grin.
A few moments later, Iâd threaded myself through the harness straps and zipped up all but the leg portion of the suit. Helmet clasped, double checked, and nerves setting off fireworks in my belly, I walked to the edge of the outcropping weâd chosen. We were only a couple dozen feet from the falls, and I turned to look at the gorgeous cascade of water, glad my GoPro was on to capture the moment.
A quick look to our right saw Rachel, Cruz, and Nick ready to go on their ledge.
âYou ready?â Nick shouted over the distance as I zipped up my leg panels and pulled the boot portion over my shoes. Flying squirrel, indeed.
âYou first!â Landon yelled back.
âYou always were a chickenshit!â Nick answered. âLet me guess, youâve made Pax go first in everything since Iâve been out, right?â
âI was just trying to be polite,â Landon muttered as Paxton laughed uncontrollably. âOh, just fuck off and go! No, not you, baby. You go when youâre ready,â Landon added when Rachel crossed her arms. âLove you!â
âYeah, yeah. Love you, too,â she answered.
She and Cruz shared a nod, and then she jumped. I noticed Landon didnât take a breath until her chute deployed, and then he rocked back on his heels with a huge sigh.
âWeâll see you at the bottom!â I called out to Nick.
He gave us a thumbs-up, and then Cruz backed up about fifteen feet with Nick. They said something to each otherâman, I wished we were closerâand then Cruz took off at a run, shoving Nick with all his might at the edge of the cliff before skidding back himself.
My heart lurched into my throat as the chair tumbled once, twice, and then the chute deployed, the sight allowing air into my lungs. âHe did it.â
âHell yeah, he did,â Pax said softly.
Cruz nodded to meâwell, toward us, but I knew it was for meâand jumped off the cliff. He dove fast, and I found myself leaning way too far over the edge to watch him pass Nick and then pull his own chute.
âBallsy to wait that long,â Landon remarked.
âHe wants to land before Nick so he can help him,â I said.
âHeâs a good guy,â Pax added.
âThe best,â I said before I thought.
They both looked at me, and I avoided eye contact. Rachel was right. It might get me bitten in the ass, but I was going to have to tell them. Keeping a secret like this from my best friends was wrong, no matter how much I loved Cruz.
âShall we do this?â I asked, changing the subject.
âIâm going first,â Landon said, and I smothered a laugh.
âYes, you should do that.â
âSame plan. Watch the curve of the canyon.â
âYes, Dad,â Pax drawled.
âSee you at the bottom!â Landon gave us a grin and then raced to the edge of the cliff and was gone.
âYouâre up,â Pax told me. âAnd hey, random, but you know you can always talk to me, right?â
âLike, right now?â I eyed the drop-off.
âWell, no. I mean, yeah, if you wanted to.â
I patted him on the shoulder. âI hear you, and I love you for it. But I was thinking Iâd jump off this mountain right now, if you donât mind.â
âAfter you,â he said, sweeping his arm toward the cliff edge.
My heart galloped as I backed up, already feeling the rush of adrenaline through my veins. Restrained by the suit, I took as big of steps as I could and ran toward the edge of the cliff.
Then I flew.
No parachute. No engine. No sounds but the wind through my helmet and the rush of blood through my ears.
Arms and legs spread, with the webbing of nylon that turned me into my own sail, I glided through the air, careful to watch the curve of the canyon. A single mistake up here would be my last.
I flew past the falls, taking precious seconds to stare up at the sheer majesty of the breathtaking sight, and then focused fully on the flight, tracking Landon as he soared ahead of me. I dropped my right arm slightly to change course, avoiding the giant pillar of cliff that loomed, and headed toward the green vegetation that marked our planned landing zone. It was just beside the river, but treeless, so hopefully I wouldnât end up skewered in the middle of Venezuela.
Landon waved me down, having already landed, and I concentrated on my angle, speed, and descent as the field flew up rapidly to meet me. I ran through my landing, tripping on some of the foliage but catching myself before I ended up on a blooper reel.
The flight was beautiful, life-affirming, empowering, and over all too soon.
Landon whooped and gathered me into his arms, swinging me around. I was mid-swing when Pax landed, and we became a Penna-sandwich hug.
âThank you for this,â I told them as Bobbyâs Jeeps drove over.
âIâll admit, I thought you were nuts when you suggested it,â Pax said as Bobby parked and the cameras rushed us. âBut I should know better by now than to question your judgment.â
A few quick interviews later, we were out of the wingsuits and headed to meet up with the BASE jumpers.
I smiled at Cruz, but the three of us walked straight to Nick, who grinned wider than when heâd medaled in the X Games a couple years ago.
âHow do you feel?â I asked him.
He looked at each of us in turn and then laughed incredulously, his expression torn between wonder, joy, and a touch of confusion. âLike a Renegade.â