xxii. FIRST BURN

episode 33: the hunters

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

FIRST BURN

•••

"You won't leave me, right?"

Sleep. It would usually come to her so easily. Effortlessly simple and quick. Fall in a deep and pitched repose of stillness and serenity with a single shut of her eyelids, lashes kissing her cheeks as soft breathings came from her. Yet, the air was frigid. Eerily bitter on her skin as shivers crept up her spine, dancing on taught flesh that pricked her. It lapsed from her body, dissipated in the cold and quiet evening as she found herself to be wary and awake, shrugging off slumber as she was subdued to thoughts that had her asking. Drowned her mind in unbounded possibilities. It was a night that had her restless, body turning and anxious.

Another questioned slipped from her again. "Are you awake?"

Silence.

She frowned, brows turned as she called once more. "Hey."

"What?" He finally stirred. The room was small, stained and sullied as particles of dust flitted in the air. It was dark. A little empty and cold as two single mattresses were set on the floor, pushed aside on either sides of the wall. Annoyance formed in his tone as his body shifted underneath the ragged covers of his bed just across from her. Rusted springs of the mattress squeaked from the weight. Eyelids still shut. And back faced towards her. She could already imagine the tired glare that grew on his face.

"You won't leave me, right?"

"It's the middle of the night. Go to sleep."

"I can't." She grumbled wearily, fingers toying with the ragged hem of her own blanket, twisting and fumbling on a loose thread. "You didn't answer my question."

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know." The obvious lie came out quick and tone high.

A tired sigh erupted from his side. She almost felt guilty as he sat up, covers gone and slipping from his shoulders, knuckles rubbing against his droopy blue eyes. He yawned. "C'mon, tell me."

"I saw her. I saw her walk in the kitchen today, before y'know..." She swallowed the large lump lodged in her throat, pulling her knees close to her chest. "I saw her fall. It's just I know she's sick."

"She's fine, alright? Doing great than yesterday." He brushed it off, slowly blinking away his drowsiness. "Our mother is fine."

She nodded at his words, gaze falling on her fumbling hands. "She's not getting better, is she?"

"Stop it." He turned his head away. "I'll get the money for medi–"

"We can't keep doing this forever."

"Doing what? Living?" There was an edge to his voice. "Stealing here is the only thing that's keeping us alive."

"It's not enough and you know it." She was stubborn, speaking out her mind in the dark. The tiny window on her side of the room brought a faint glow on her face. Her lips twitched. "We're not going to make it. Not while we're stuck down here."

"You're not going to stop, are you?"

"I'm serious!"

"At this point, you're going to wake the whole city with your talking." He dragged a hand on his face. Dirty blonde hair tousled and slumber wearing his body down.

She blinked. "You still didn't answer my question."

The sound of the front door slamming open brought the room in silence. Frozen and still. Quiet as they held their breaths. Heavy footsteps dragged along the floorboards from outside, old wood creaking and shifting. Alcohol. She could smell it. Acrid and foul on her nostrils, wafting in the daft air. Then a low rumble of a laugh followed as sudden dread filled her chest at the sound. The heavy steps faded away, taking the direction that was all too familiar, dispersing archly in the living room.

He scoffed, blue eyes rolling at the door of their room, watching as the faint shadow underneath the space departed. He fell back down, glare directed on the cracked ceiling. "Go to sleep. Now."

"I know." She didn't need to be told twice. Legs sliding underneath her torn covers, it made no difference to warm her as she slowly laid back down. Head flat on her pillow, stare going blank and distant. The rumble of her heart was hard to ignore, feeling it beat and slam against her ribcage and echo in the room. Her once fumbling hands were squeezed tight, nails digging in soft skin. She could still hear it. A faint chime of heavy steps, treading of boots on floorboards. A heedful warning of danger that hazed in her head. Squeezing her eyes shut, she listened to his voice, a sleek mumble in the night that she held onto.

He sighed.

"I'll find a way. I always do."

The memory, sweet and bitter, teemed with promises and lies, slipped from her grasp. It fell between her fingers as it dissolved, melting in a puddle of darkness as she shoved it in the deepest part of her aching skull. Voices and words engraved in her head that she wanted to wash it away. She could somehow still hear it. Small and little tunes of their voices whispering in the dead of the night, asking and promising. Naïve little thoughts that evaded what little knowledge she had. She could recall the fear that thumped in her body to move, shift under the covers and hide from the smell that reeked of liquor and gas.

"The advance squad's returned!"

The announcement blared from a standby soldier as she imminently entered Trost District on her horse. Murmurs and whispers erupted in the atmosphere as soon as she sauntered through the creaking metal gate, dashing through impaired houses and buildings, the place a desolated land filled with nothing but scampering and lingering soldiers, the district's residence gone. The sound of horses' hooves clicking on the brick road was a drumming cadence that attracted the piercing stares of cadets that she passed by. Their heads turned towards the arrival as another voice declared.

"Inform Commander Pyxis!"

Yet, there was no need for it.

Almost as if a ghost that dawned out of oblivion, a figure stood gaily in the middle of the road as she squinted her eyes at the individual. The sudden presence forced her to pull her thoughts to where she was, hands tight on leather reins before she gave a firm tug, her horse dwindling to an abrupt stop a few feet away from the figure that left her dazed. It must've been hours. Three or more that stopping her movements left her sick, stomach churning after all the riding that she endured for the trip. Mouth dry and bile threatening to rise from her throat. She swallowed painfully, stifling a grimace from appearing on her face.

"Nightwalker, is it?"

Commander Pyxis was no stranger to Freya. The hum of his soft yet authoritative voice was gruff to her ears. The number of weary lines and wrinkles seemed to have unfolded even more on his features, mustache grey and dark, eyes sunken and hollow. What threw her off was the pungent scent of wine and beer coming from his clothes, spotting specks of stained dots and circles on his collar from drinking that she had to stop herself from wrinkling her nose with every inhale she took. Albeit the two never talked, she was well aware of his stature and role in the Garrison Regiment.

Sliding off her horse, her back straightened at the mention of her name. Sasha and the two other cadets who rode with her followed suite. She could hear them crumble on their knees, cries of relief coming from their mouths as they fumbled with their water container. Heavy swallows and chugs as they drank to the very core, evidently dehydrated that it unfortunately reminded Freya of her own thirst. It drained her insides dry, parched with a withering stomach that ruined her, lips chapped that she ran her tongue on the corner of her mouth. However, her attention was focused on the man in front of her as she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Commander."

Commander Pyxis raised an expectant brow.

She blinked, feeling tender muscles go sore from hours on riding as her spine narrowed. She stood straight, stiff as a board at the response. A disturbing rumble in her insides gave her an idea of what the man wanted. His stare was blank. Patient as he waited, eyes presuming. She wanted to scoff at that. Biting down hard on her tongue, she raised her right hand, fingers loosely closed to a fist before placing it on her chest, the other folded behind her back. A muscle twitched between her kitted brows, the corner of her lips curving in disdain as she repeated through gritted teeth.

"Commander Pyxis."

A comical smile hid beneath his grey mustache. "Give me your report."

A sharp breath fell from her at the order as she dropped her hands back down. From the corner of her eyes, she could already see the increasing number of cadets that gathered around, huddled close and a few feet away to listen as she started. She forced her voice to a steady. "The hole..."

Her throat felt dry, gravel that scraped her voice as soon as she finished. She explained the situation as short as she could. Her words were hurried and quick bounding on Hannes' coincidentally meeting her group, and telling their lack of search on the assumed breach. She was curt about it. Arrant and simple that she would be able to immediately leave, evade observing glares that bore a hole through her head from surrounding cadets.

"I see..." Commander Pyxis said. "So there was nothing wrong with the wall?"

Slowly, Freya nodded. "That's what your men said."

"As I suspected."

"There's a bit of a situation." One of the cadets that came with her spoke from behind. Head turning to peer past her shoulder, Freya watched as the soldier stood straight. Hands clenched in a salute. "In the Scout unit led by Section Commander Hange, there were recruits from the 104th without their equipment. And it turns out, three of them... were Titans."

Mumbles and whispers erupted in the atmosphere. A few enraged. Another in appalling shock. The rest heaved in silence that left opened mouths and hanging jaws.

Through it all, Freya could hear a familiar mutter of disbelief cut through, questioning provocatively as Jean forced himself to the front, hands pulling on shoulders to make way. "What are you talking about? Are you saying there were more? Th-Three of them?" Unsparingly, he snapped at Sasha, facing his glare at the girl. "Who was it?"

Sasha jumped back, brown eyes wide as she gripped her water container tight. "U-Uh, well..."

"Jean, relax." Surprisingly, Commander Erwin appeared beside the boy as he placed a soft hand on Jean's shoulder. Freya straightened at the man's presence as he continued. "What happened when their forms were revealed?"

The scout behind Freya had answered. "The Scouts engaged the Colossal and Armored Titan in battle. But by the time the Garrison squad arrived to fight it was all over."

"I see..." Calmly, Erwin said. The response was a stark contrast to those around him, emotions contained in a straight face. Unfazed by the information as he turned his attention to Freya. "You. Follow me." Soldiers, Military and Scout, parted for the Commander as he turned around, stalking the road path in a slow and leisure pace. Something in Freya told her that there wasn't much to do but to comply.

With cautious strides, Freya trailed off after the man, gaze silently searching the crowd from the corner of her vision. She could feel their curious stares set on her back. A few questioning and the other in contempt, their mumbling talks gone as the atmosphere went silent with the exception of her boots clicking on the ground. Not a single pair of grey eyes had turned up. She shook her head, directing her focus on the Commander's back as she a few steps behind. However, seeing that they were nearing the end of the road, she had a feeling where she was being led to.

Silently, Freya watched as Erwin pulled out his the controller grips, wires shooting from his gear up before he hauled himself to the top of the wall. She blinked, muscles in her body aching just at the thought of moving up once more, her breathing ragged before she bit down hard on her tongue. Reluctantly, she gripped her blades once more.

Reaching the top of the wall with a dispersing crowd behind her, the statement came before she could fully balance herself on the surface. Commander Erwin's back faced her, attention on the spread of green and trees stretched beyond the barrier as he folded his arms behind his back.

"You survived."

Freya was taken aback by the profound regard, features formed in disbelief at his nonchalance. "Are you that surprised?"

"How long has it been since you've left?" He only asked.

The sun was blaring, rays of yellow kissing the top of her hair as she craned her head up. Raising an arm over her face and fingers parted as she shielded herself from the heat, she took a peek at the sky. Despite the situation that she found herself in, the weather was awfully decent, clouds full and white that drifted in a basin of bright blue. She looked away, arms dropping to her sides. "Five hours."

"And where's your squad leader?"

She blew a breath. "Hange and the others were too injured to move."

"The boy?"

"Eren." Freya said immediately, eyes hardening, tongue sharp. "His name is..." She didn't bother anymore, shaking her head as she continued. "He..."

Commander Erwin understood the low tone of her voice. "So you lost him?"

The guilt. It consumed her insides. Clawed her stomach as her heart fell. She couldn't shake the scene off from her head. A hedge of smoke blurred her vision white, fogged her senses as all she could remember were the screams of Mikasa, blending in with her throat rasping dry from shouts and protest, elbows knocking into Hange, thrashing wildly and mad. It went for a long moment that she didn't count. Diminished in an overbearing prevail to see an evaporating Titan body. Empty from the nape. Gone with heavy thuds of an Armored Titan sprinting away.

Freya turned her head to the side, swallowing. "They took him before I could get a chance."

"Do you know where?"

"I don't know. The direction they were headed were just outside of Wall Rose. Hange told me to come look for you. All the horses are on the other side of the wall and in order to move, we need a few lifts to carry to them." Freya informed.

"That's it?"

"That's all I have to tell you." She responded, irked at all the questions. "There was nothing else I could do."

"Prepare."

"Prepare? What? No. No, I'm not going back. I'm not... I can't–" Face falling, skin rising in guard, she shook her head. "There's no way I'm going back out there."

"You remember what happens if you don't do your job."

"Dealing with Titans isn't one of them." Freya snapped, teeth grinding down together.

"I don't need to tell you what happens to those who don't have citizenship on the surface." Underneath it all, Freya could tell the stunted threat that laid in his words. "You know that better than anyone."

"Are you really telling me this right now? You can't bring me back." She restrained the urge from grabbing her blades, nails finding their way in her palms. "I had the chance to run away just by going here, but I didn't."

"And now, I need you to prepare for what's to come." His turned his head, blue eyes meeting her own. "I don't think you have a choice here."

It wasn't until her boots met the flat ground of the stone pavement that her posture staggered when she left, leaving the man alone with the upswept and towering view. But his words trailed off behind her, close as a whisper of a ghost behind her ear, taunting her. Jeering her insides that there was a twinge in her chest. A reminder of what she meant in a world filled with soldiers and commands. In the mess of it all, she didn't know where she stood. Lost as nothing but a follower, blind to trail over a leader she couldn't trust.

Requisitions and ultimatums.

The only thing she could understand was the anger that surged in her, teeth grinding together as her back came in contact with the wall, head falling against it as she released a shaky breath. Eyelids heavy, she blinked once. The next she didn't open them, the breeze soft on her skin as the wall behind her shaded her from the sun. It was cool and dainty that flitted on her body, wind blowing as frays of her hair wisped on the side of her cheeks. Eventually, her short lived trance broke as she felt a feeble tap on her shoulder.

Reluctantly peeling her eyelids open, a pair of brown eyes bore into her blues. A heavy exhale puffed from Freya's chest as she acknowledged the sudden presence in front of her. She breathed. "Sasha."

Instantly, a sheepish smile grew on Sasha's face. Shoulders coiled together in a withdrawn look as she tilted her head to the side. Freya's blue eyes fell down to the girl's extended hand, palm open as something the size of a tiny brick laid there. Seeing the questionable look Freya held, Sasha clarified. "They said you can only have one, with supplies running low and all since the evacuation."

It seemed solid, but not entirely dense for her to actually think it was a brick wrapped in grey plastic. Still as confused to what it was, Freya asked again. "What exactly is that?"

"It's field rations. Everyone from the advance squad got one." There was a nervous twitch of her brows and a tick of her cheek as Sasha spoke, fidgeting on one foot to the other. Freya's brows furrowed together as she watched Sasha gingerly work to tear the wrapper off from the top half, revealing pieces of plain crackers. Then her brown gaze flickered down, direction set on Freya's battered left hand that there was pause in the blonde's heart.

Looking down at the food, it was a shade of pale yellow, scent stale that it didn't take much to assume the bland taste of it. She wasn't going to pass it up knowing that it must've been hours the last time a single snack entered her mouth. But she found herself asking, surprising the both of them. "Did you get yours?"

"I actually finished it." A recessive smile grew on her face. Although her eyes were somehow reflected with devastation and disappointment.

The look reminded Freya of all those weeks ago. Cafeteria laughs and mumbles. Wasted soup and stained clothes. She couldn't shake off their initial interaction that it nearly brought a grin to her own lips. Softly shaking her head at herself, she cleared her throat before thrusting the open block of crackers in front of Sasha. "You take it."

Immediately, Sasha shook her head, her ponytail whipping wildly behind. "I'm not sure that's–"

"I'm fine, trust me." Freya cut her off sharply, slightly amused at Sasha's clear hesitation. "I'm not hungry, but I know you always are." A fact that she wasn't going to forget anytime soon. That was all it took as brown eyes turned bright and beaming, melting into honey and gold as a radiating smile grew on her lips. Childlike and sincere as she took the snack. Without wasting a second, Sasha devoured the food as if it was her last, big bites and snaps almost forgetting Freya that stood in front of her, the blonde turning to walk away.

"Oh, I forgot!" Sasha said. Facing the girl once more, there were crumbs of cracker flakes that littered the corners of her mouth. A few specks on her rosy cheeks. It was then Freya noticed the other item in Sasha's hands. It was a nothing but a clean rolled up gauze and a damp folded towel. She quickly shoved it in Freya's palm, grinning. "Jean gathered these for you. He thought you might need it and yelled at me to give it instead"

Freya blinked. Dumbfounded by such a simple statement. Quickly, her gaze flickered past Sasha. Just a few meters away and swarmed in a small group of Military scouts, Jean's stare met her own. The boy quickly looked away, head whipping to the ground as she could visibly see a tint of red creep on his ears, hands clenched by his sides. Warmth scattered through Freya's chest as she swallowed, nodding.

"Thanks."

Freya couldn't have been more thankful to be in an empty district. Albeit the place was lonesome to look at. Idly desolated as she turned a corner from her short walk, and entering a void street of lined houses. She found herself stopping in front of a small home. Windows cracked. Exceptionally dark to even peer through the room. Front door barred shut. But the wooden bench seemed fitting enough on the front porch. Her legs quivered on the few staircases before she lapsed down to sit with a relieved sigh. Head thrown back and colliding with the wooden wall behind her. Her shoulders slumped.

She flicked her gaze to the ceiling. Traced the few lines on the aged surface as she laid the small gauze and towel by her side before her clammy hands fell on her lap. Quietly in her head, she counted to ten. Tarried for the numbers to tick. Her choice was clear. Decision varied off from the pain in her nerves. Fingers from her right hand settled on the few silver rings adorned on her left hand. She held a deliberate clutch on them, gripping the thin jewelry to ease the pain from her fractured bones. A second passed. Another. She didn't waste a moment to hesitate. Exhaling readily, she was quick to work on removing them.

The first ring came free from her pointer finger. The next came the middle. Followed by her ring finger. Last felt lodged and stuck through a protruding bone in her pinky. A small bump that came below the nail. A sharp breath escaped her. She counted once more. A second up to five. Barely passing the number three, she hastily ripped the final silver jewelry from her finger, hearing a tiny snap patch from it.

"Sh–"

Teeth digging sharply in her tongue, she bit down hard as she slammed her rings down beside her in a clatter. Copper invaded her mouth. The taste sat bitter and acrid, chest tightening that she could feel bile rising from her throat. Her jaw strained and lips twitched in a grimace as she swallowed. Eyes squeezed tightly at the sting as her hands began to shake, trembling at the pain. It burned. Scathed her nerves agonizingly that she could feel it run up her arm and prick her heart. Needles digging in her skin and flesh, and penetrate her insides.

The dark that painted her vision amplified everything.

Tears. Hot and wet fighting to pour from her closed eyelids. She wasn't sure if she could stop it. Lashes damp as her head fell down forward, shoulders shaking. The rush of blood hummed in her ears. The pump of her heart rammed against her chest in scattered rhythms. Rhythms that she couldn't follow. Sounds that cluttered her head. Lost in focus that she could only feel the prick that ran in her body, adrenaline slowly dwindling from her system that her shoulders fell. She didn't notice it. Couldn't comprehend what it was. Mind too distracted to even notice the sound of slow and leisure patters of footsteps that neared her.

It wasn't until a cold finger was hooked under her chin that her eyes snapped open, wide at the calloused touch that she saw the tip of dark leather shoes touch her boots. The finger under her chin faintly lifted her gaze. Blue eyes dragged to a pair of black slacks, neatly pressed and ironed, fit and firm to toned legs before her gaze leveled evenly with a leather belt, the material wrapped around a lean waist and a silver buckle polished and clean that she could see the faint hues of her irises. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed heavily, breathing ragged that she didn't notice how the cold finger paused from lifting her head.

A second. Another. The familiar touch continued to tilt her head up. It was torturous, movement slow and harrowing as she trailed her gaze to each button that lined on a grey shirt. She could see it. Muscles taught and defined, tight around the torso, hugging on pale skin before her sights landed on a clenched and sharp jaw. Locked and set tight. Words seemed to have fluttered away from her head, turning into a misty mess that faded in the dark until her thoughts came empty. Dull and blank as her lips parted open before clamping down shut, teeth sinking in the insides of her cheek.

Blue met grey.

Levi asked. "What happened?"

His complacent observation splintered a sequence of unwanted thoughts in her head. Running. Scorching steam. A drumming heart. And green eyes that looked back at her. She tried her best to be as placid as possible. Unmindful of the situation she got herself in, disregard the consequences that she fell onto. But it seemed that his question suddenly rifled through her mind and reminded her of the fear that coarse through her body. She stilled, licked her lips. A part of her had hoped. Wished he wouldn't hear the dejected tone of her voice. She tried to conceal it. Hide it through a simple mumble of words. But the air was quiet.

"I lost him." After a moment, Freya answered. She pulled her gaze away from his, distant to the view past his waist. "How'd you know where I was?"

"I didn't."

Somehow, Freya couldn't find it in herself to believe him. "Then why are you here?"

"Your jacket." His stricken gaze riveted on her shoulders. Cloak gone. Shirt crinkled in various lays. His skin itched at the sight. "Where is it?"

She didn't question his attempt of turning the conversation. After a second, Freya replied. "Historia, she–" A pause. Frowning, she corrected. "I mean, Christa has it. Someone should explain soon." His comment had her thinking. Painfully broadened her mind that he would shrug of his blazer. Slip the thick coat from his lean shoulders and hand it to her. But it was an amusing thought. One that she shook off too quickly. Instead, his his hands dipped low. Knuckles brushed against her jaw and neck. Her eyes fluttered down, seeing him fumble with the collar of her shirt, tucking a treacherous fold straight.

There was a heavy sound that haled between Levi's mouth. A perturbed exhale as he constantly flickered his eyes to each feature on her face, conning the astute shift of her looks. He could see the subtle crease of her eyebrows as she thought. Long lashes fluttering as she blinked up at him. Frays of blonde hair brushing against her temples. It never seemed to be a problem for her. To have a distraction flit across her vision and skim on her skin from her hair. Somewhat long and satin to his gaze, tangled in a ruined ribbon tie. Face flushed and pink. Skin burnt and red as remnants of sweat waned against her forehead.

Disheveled. Untidy. Messy.

"What is it?" Her curiosity. Her voice. Her soft stare. It pulled him back.

Levi blinked.

With wary eyes, Freya watched as he took the white clothe from beside her. Slender fingers grazed her thigh as he grabbed it. There was something in his eyes that she couldn't decipher as he ran a thumb over the slightly damp material, possibly regarding the fact that even touched it. Yet, he didn't say anything. Not even a purse of his lips. Or a clench of his jaw. It seemed that Freya found herself observing his features more than ever. Leisurely, his other hand reached back for her chin, thumb and forefinger on her skin. Freya stiffened.

"Relax."

There was something about his voice. A clear and smooth tune that hummed from his mouth, letting out words that strung a chord in her heart to patter in erratic beats. It was unpredictable. Ambivalent as the weather that shifted and transformed. Turning from a cold and raging winter storm that had her shivering, rigid on sharp ice that pierced her to a heated summer breeze that consumed her, hot rays on exposed skin and flesh, melting her insides warm. Yet, those two words were crisp and low, a gentle murmur slipping from his mouth, lulling her stomach to flutter just as the feeling of autumn fall.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "What?"

A tilt of Freya's head and he gently patted the cool and soothing compress of the towel on her cheek, dabbing on searing flesh. Blue eyes tensed. Pulse violent on her neck. Immediately, her hand shot forward, startled by the move as she searched for something to hold onto. To grip something and focus on reality in front of her. Her eyes went distant, diverted on the buttons of his shirt, mind jumbled.

When there was a faint tug on his waist, Levi peered down for a second, seeing her trembling fingers curled around the loops of his slacks. Knuckles a pale shade of white to withhold the sensation that ran on her skin. He arched an eyebrow. "I said, relax."

"I am relaxed." Freya breathed. Irritation sat on her skin as her fingers tightened. Another harsh pull and Levi's hips bucked forward from the action. His thin eyes slightly widened as her knees was now against his legs. Freya was partly grateful for the steam that tainted her face red, stirring with the flustered feeling that rose in her stomach. The air around seemed to have gone silent. Quiet that there was ring that filled the void.

No one spoke as Levi continued, movements now stiff.

It took a minute or two. Slow and pacing counts of numbers that passed before she visibly eased in her seat, softly breathing through her nose with steady exhales, basking in the tender relief that soothed from her skin. She could already feel bleak burns and blisters melt away. There was something about the sight of him standing in front of her. Oddly tall in her view. Even more so intimidating. A dark and brooding cast on his sharp and defined features. Focused Attention on her skin. His pats were mellow. Light and balmy that it eased the burn on her flesh. Placid strokes swept from her temples, dragged down to the slope of her nose, before he dipped to her jaw and neck.

Levi caught onto her stare. "Something on my face?"

"Nothing."

Contemplation ran through his mind as he pursed his lips before folding the towel and dropping it back to her side. He eyed her carefully. "You–"

"Thank you." Freya mumbled, cutting him off as her face softened before released a quiet groan. Eyes squeezing shut, her head lulled forward, forehead resting against his hard stomach. Being so close to him felt different. Warmth radiated off his body. A stark difference to his cold fingers. Somehow, she could feel his muscles go rigid as the sound of his breathings came to a stop, hitched in the back of his throat. Her warm breath hit his abdomen, fanning through the thin material of his shit, with bitter tea filling her senses as she wearily sighed.

Levi froze. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"If you even think of sleeping on me–"

"And if I do?"

"Then... I'll..."

Freya couldn't pick up on it. Stumped to even hear the strain and falter of his words. Drained to even detect the hesitation from his threat. A muscle in her cheek twitched. Slumber wavered in her grasp. A choice that idly weighed in her chest. She didn't look up, feeling the cool texture of the tiny button of his shirt touch the tip of her nose. "I'm just so tired."

"You're not going to die."

"I never said I was."

"You were thinking about it."

"Yeah?" She didn't tell him how right he was to even guess correct, eerily caught off guard at how he was able to pick her thoughts from the silence. "Well, you don't know that."

"You're being dramatic."

Freya scoffed. "I don't see you with a broken hand."

"Right." Levi clicked his tongue. "My mistake."

It was there that a sudden laugh erupted from her throat. It was a quiet sound that filled the air. Voice serene and light. High and dainty as her shoulder lightly shook. She didn't need to look up to know that a heated glare evaded his face, boring a hole on the top of her head as he shifted on one foot to the other, imminently reminding her of his injured state. Steel eyes most probably dark and narrowed. She refrained herself from snickering. "Aren't you a bright ball of sunshine."

"Funny." Freya could already imagine the hard roll of his eyes.

Then the hollowing thoughts came.

Her smile wavered. Curved down in the slightest as her posture faltered. "If we don't find him, they're going to bring me back down there." She stopped. Ran the ticking numbers in her head, counting. One to ten. "Do you even know what it's like to live under that city? To go underground and live your days in hell?"

"No." It was a simple answer. An easy statement that rolled off his tongue. A quick word that he could handle saying to her. "No, I don't."

She hummed. "Must be nice."

Feeling cold fingers run down her left shoulder to her elbow, a shiver crawled through her spine. She shuddered. She could feel his grasp lift her arm, impotently hold her wrist soft when something wrapped her left hand. Blinking her eyelids open, she watched from the corner of her blues, staring through wisps of dirty blonde hair that framed her face. Slender fingers worked on banding her scathed hand with the unrolled gauze. It was surprisingly gentle. Slow and tender as he rolled the bandage firm on her palm, loose around her fingers to move, before tucking it secure. Freya's brows furrowed.

She leaned back in her seat. Spine straight and shoulder taught as she eyed his work, hand on her lap and stretching her fingers. Her blue eyes turned and  studied him warily. "Why are you doing this?"

The corner of his mouth twitched. Jaw clenched. "I cant have you dying on your next mission."

Freya rolled her eyes. "Has anyone ever told you that you've got a way with words."

"Maybe."

Heavy and broad sarcasm dripped from her tongue. "It's charming, really. Got me falling and all."

"So I've heard." He mumbled, seeing as she reached for her rings beside her.

"The ladies must love you, huh."

"You tell me." Levi paused. A tilt of his head had him peering through strands of dark hair. A recreation lock that fell between his brows. Although his features were blank. Nonchalant and empty, as always. Tone slated and fraught with a dark void. She could still see the slight narrow of his thin eyes. Steel gaze calculating as if he wanted to see through her thoughts, watch the gears turn and veer in her head. Wade through every take that consumed her mind. He murmured. "Aren't you the one falling?"

"I–"

Suddenly, a call from a corner was heard. A bleak announcement for assigned cadets to assemble. It was a reminder knowing that her time had ran out. Time. It seemed that there wasn't much for it.

Standing, there was a second of stillness and serenity, breaths mingled from close proximity as Freya straightened. Face a few inches away from his. There was a devious glint that filled her blue irises. A soft blue stare locked with his steel and guarded gaze.

Levi watched. Turned his attention to her mouth as her lips parted, tongue darting out to lick them wet. Deep in contemplation. Words stuck in her throat and breath hitched. He could feel his own air leave his very lungs. Chest deep and tight as his insides churned. His cold touch left her skin, tensed hands falling back to his side. His fingers twitched, a spatter of heat running up his arm. He could feel it. The rapt buzz that evaded his palm. It ran up to his shoulder. Went through and down his stiff spine. Intertwined and crept through rigid bones. Tangled and massed his own beating heart. Her shoulder brushed against his as she walked past, her voice lingering.

A quiet breath escaped Levi.

"Who knows?"

•••

— AUTHOR NOTE —

so i actually injured my right arm pretty badly when i went out for valentines so i had to take a break to recover plsss it was horrifying. i also had to write this a billion times since there really wasn't a lot going on in this scene so i'm not really sure what to feel about this chapter? it's a mess and one of the longest i ever wrote tbh but i hope u like it :))