Chapter 22: Premonition

Rose

“So, what did you say to her?” I ask Victor, my eyes wide as I lean forward on my palm, eager for him to spill the tea.

“I apologized and asked if I could take her out again tomorrow,” he answers grimly. “She said she’d take time to think about it, so I’m not optimistic she’ll agree.”

“Well, you did hit on her friend while you two were going out.”

“But we weren’t even exclusive!” He argues.

“Doesn’t matter, dude,” I chuckle, rolling my eyes. “How would you feel if she was hooking up with or trying to go out with one of your friends?”

“I don’t have any friends except you,” he quips.

“Maybe that’s a problem!”

He chuckles. “Says you! I’m your only friend, too.”

“That’s cause I can’t stand anyone except for you,” I lie, smiling as I think of Asher. “But, clearly, you get along with a lot of people. Maybe too many.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he says with a sigh. “I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have gone after someone I knew was her friend. That was shitty of me.”

“It was.”

“Fuck, Rose, you don’t gotta keep beating me up over it!”

“Well, as your only friend, I have to hold you accountable,” I argue. “But I’ll stop. She’s forgiving, so I’m sure she’ll come around. Buy her flowers or something. Do you know her favorite kind?”

“Roses.”

“She has good taste,” I reply with a wink.

He rolls his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose dramatically at my antics. “See, this is why you haven’t found a boyfriend! You’re an egomaniac! No guy could ever square up to you.”

“You’re so right,” I answer with a smirk, but my mind flashes elsewhere.

“If only it were as easy for us as it is for wolves,” he laments. “It’d be nice to have all the picking and choosing done for you. Skip the ‘what’s your favorite color’ stage, too. Go right to the feelings of love without the fear of heartbreak.”

“There’s still fear of heartbreak in wolves,” I argue, my heart clenching. “Room for mistakes, too.”

“Yeah, I guess, but that’s so rare. Would be nice to know your other half is for sure out there.”

“Yeah,” I mumble, my brain in a fog. “I guess so.”

“You okay?” He asks.

I feel a pit in my stomach, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up as if someone is stalking me, but we’re the only two around.

My heart clenches, and it beats a few times rapidly.

Boombooomboom!

What the fuck? What was that? What’s going on?

I feel hot for the first time in my life, my skin burning as sweat forms on my brow. What is this?

“Jeez, Rose, you don’t look so good,” Victor says, rising from his seat. “Are you sick?”

“I-I…” I mutter, my eyes darting back and forth.

And I hear something. Something that isn’t there.

I hear Asher’s voice.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

I flinch, my breath quivering.

Doing what? Who is he talking to? What’s going on? Is he okay? Is he in trouble?

And how can I hear him?

“Earth to Rose!” Victor screams, snapping his fingers in my face. “Are you catatonic or something?”

“No, no,” I stutter. “I’m fine. Sorry, I just got lost in thought for a minute.”

“No, I just don’t give a-”

Give a what? What is he talking about? Who is he talking to?

“Do you need to go home for the day? If you’re not feeling well, I can finish up for the day.”

“No, it’s okay,” I reply, brushing it off. “I’m okay. Maybe I just need some sleep. It’s been a while since I have.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, when you only need to sleep like once a week, it can be easy to forget,” he empathizes. “Why don’t you take a nap, and I’ll hold down the fort while you’re gone?”

“Okay,” I answer, standing slowly and exiting the office, moving in slow motion.

I can’t help it when I indulge in the nagging feeling tugging at my heart. A feeling that is telling me Asher is in trouble.

Am I making this up? Could my mind be so powerful that it created a fake scenario in my head? I guess it’s even more implausible that I actually heard him. Impossible, even.

I must be hallucinating. I guess I really am tired. I’ve been visiting Asher when I’d usually sleep, so it has been a while.

All I need is a nap, and I’ll be fine when I wake up.

Asher

The fire-hot droplets from the shower pelt against my back, steaming the glass walls. I face away from it, my hand wrapped around my toothbrush as I dig harder. Brushing and brushing and brushing. I’ve been brushing for the last fifteen minutes.

I spit out again, blood mixed with the white toothpaste, but I still have the taste of her in my mouth—that disgusting taste. I feel dirty. I feel like there’s cotton in my mouth, and no matter how hard I pull, it won’t come out.

I put more toothpaste on the brush, the bristles frayed, but it doesn’t matter.

I brush more, but it still won’t go away. It’ll never go away.

No matter how hard I scrub my skin raw, a new layer forming over the dead cells, it’ll still feel dirty. I’ll still feel…

Violated?

Tears stream down my face as I drop the toothbrush on the ground, digging my hands into my hair.

She’s sound asleep in bed, waiting for me. How am I supposed to sleep next to her after what she did to me?

Even if I could scrub myself clean of what just happened, I’ll go right back there tonight, rolling in the mud pile.

What’s the point anymore?

“What am I going to do?” I murmur into my hands, letting my back lurch with quiet sobs, afraid to wake her up. “I-I can’t do this anymore!”

What she made me do was vile. She crossed a line I…

A line I never imagined she’d cross. Maybe not because I didn’t think she was capable of it, but because the idea was so unfathomable to me. Something my mind would never go to.

But here we are.

How will I ever touch another woman? Feel comfortable in someone’s arms again?

That is if I can ever be in a position to do that. She may kill me before I can leave her.

I’m so sorry, Asher.

“Cato?” I whisper.

I am so, so sorry. I didn’t protect you, and I should have.

“It’s not your fault,” I reply. “We were both trapped.”

But I convinced you to go there. I’m the one that talked you into walking in on them. If I hadn’t done that, then-

“Stop, don’t do that to yourself,” I argue. “You didn’t know she was going to do that. The only person at fault is her. Okay?”

I wish there were something I could do to help you. A way I could comfort you.

I cringe, my chest tightening as I rub my sternum, the room feeling stuffy. I shut off the water, feeling a little too hot now.

At least that’s better than numb.

My fingers are pruned, meaning I’ve been here for quite a long time. Who knows, but at least Gen hasn’t noticed.

If I opt to sleep on the couch, will she punish me for it? What if I ran away tonight? What would she do?

Hunt me down?

My family?

I’d have to take them with me. But how? Where would we go?

I’m not sure I could even convince my family to leave our home. Not without telling them what’s been going on.

And that feels even more terrifying than staying with Genevieve.

Our family would never treat us worse than Genevieve has.

I’m taken aback, surprised that he’s finally admitted that there’s something wrong. That she’s wrong.

He’s not arguing that we shouldn’t leave. He’s not saying we need to stick it out.

But, the fact of the matter remains.

“I don’t want them to think less of me,” I reply. “And then there’s Margaery.”

If I left, even if I could get my family someplace safe, Genevieve would hurt Margaery. She’d take everything out on her. Maybe she’d even kill her as revenge.

And I’m not convinced Margaery would ever leave with me. At least not now.

Besides, even if I could escape with Margaery and my family, Genevieve wouldn’t rest until she hunted us down. We’d have to live on the run. Maybe even move to another country, or at least state.

And where would that leave my pack? What kind of Alpha would I be if I abandoned them?

But what kind of person am I for abandoning myself instead?

“Moon Goddess,” I groan. “Please, Moon Goddess!”

The tears are streaming down my cheeks, water dripping down my already semi-dry body, and the chill of the room is seeping in now that the steam has gone away.

“Please help me, Moon Goddess,” I beg. “I don’t know what to do. Please guide me.”

I wait, hoping for a sign. Maybe a whisper in the corner of my mind. Maybe Cato will suggest something.

But nothing.

I’m on my own.

No, you’re not, Cato reassures.

I’m here.