A group of deer leap across the greenbelt area behind the sprawling gardens of the Austin rental home. I point at them and say, âLook!â but Remy just grunts; heâs a little busy flipping a gigantic tractor tire over, again and again.
Itâs so hot here in Texas, sweat trickles down my neck and dips into my cleavage.
Squinting in the afternoon sun, I ask Remy and Coach if they want anything from inside, and Coach shakes his head, while Remy grunts and starts turning the tire in the opposite direction.
âWeâre almost done,â Coach lets me know. I nod and raise two fingersâmeaning itâll take me two minutes to go make my fifth trip into the house for lemonade.
Inside the house, I spot Riley at the edge of the living room, and heâs so motionless I almost donât see him. His hands are jammed in his suit pockets, and heâs staring at the front door with a huge frown. My body kicks straight into high-alert mode, and a cold little kernel settles deep inside my tummy.
âHis parents,â I say in disgust.
His parents. Two specimens of people who did not deserve a penis and ovaries, much less be permitted to reproduce something as magnificent as Remington! Raise him? Oh, no. Those assholes just grabbed their boy, checked him into a mental institute, and never came back.
Tight-lipped, Riley gives me an affirmative gesture. âPeteâs handling it.â
Curling my arms around my stomach by pure protective instinct, my gaze falls on the front door along with his. âWhy do they keep bothering him? Do they want to make amends?â
âBrooke!â Riley almost chokes on my name, his laugh one of the most humorless, sad laughs Iâve ever heard anyone give. âTheyâre assholes. Weâve gone through this dozens of times and they know Remington will make them go away with a damn check.â
A potent anger overtakes me as I think of the way Remy gets restless every time we even get near his hometown. Last season, his parents looked him up again and found themselves on the receiving end of a check with his signature.
âThey donât deserve anything from him. Anything,â I whisper.
Before I know it, Iâm charging across the living room.
âB! Just let Pete make them scat,â Riley proposes to me.
But instead I swing the door open and there they are, on the porch, pretty as you please. The man . . . heâs big as a mountain, beautifully aged. I swear it almost hurts to see the resemblance to Remy in him. Eyes the same electric-blue shade as Remyâs instantly train on me, but the expression in these eyes is completely different. The life and vitality, the drive and strength I see in Remingtonâs eyes are completely lacking in his fatherâs.
And his mother? As she surveys me with a critical eye, I survey her back, and in that neat little homemaker dress, she looks small, calm, and sweetâwhich only makes the confusion I feel more overwhelming.
These are people I could smile at in an elevator, or passing by on the street. They seem good and caring, but how can they be? How can they have abandoned Remy and then have the gall to come knocking on his door, again and again, like itâs their right to?
The mere thought of abandoning this little baby I hold inside me repulses me, and I still canât fathom why anyone would do that to their own son.
âYouâve left him alone his entire life. Why canât you leave him alone now?â I demand, glowering.
They have the gall to look genuinely horrified at either my appearance or my outburstâor, quite possibly, both.
âWe want to talk to him,â the woman says.
Because thatâs what she is, just a woman. I can never look at her and think of her as anyoneâs mother, especially Remyâs.
âLook . . . weâve heard about the baby,â she adds. Her eyes drop to my stomach, and I feel Pete draw closer to me, as though he expects her to reach out and touch my stomach, and he, on behalf of Remington, plans to stop her. âThis baby,â the woman continues, pursing her lips into a thin line and gesturing at me, âcould be just like him. Do you realize?â
âYes,â I say, thrusting my chin up. âI hope he is.â
âOur son is in no condition to be a father!â the man thunders in a deep, booming voice that startles me. âHe can hurt someone. He needs to be medicated and contained !â
âOhmigod, you hypocrites! You want to talk about good parents?â I ask, so outraged my lungs canât even work right now. âYour son has grown into an honorable, noble man despite what he has to deal with, when youâre the ones who abandoned your only child! You took his childhood and threw him away, and you want to come here to tell him how to live the rest of his life?â
âOur son is sick! We want him to be treated and to check in with the mental facility periodically to make sure heâs calm and serene, like a normal person,â the woman says.
âNo! Youâre the ones who are! At least he knows what his problem is, but I think you both should figure out yours.â
The door behind us swings open, and Riley steps out with the fiercest glare Iâve ever seen him wear.
âYou missed out on an incredible human being,â Riley says, and they look so shocked at his calm, threatening words, I think this is the first time heâs stepped out to greet them too. âAs his parents, you were supposed to lift him up and hold him up. Weâre not sorry for him, really, because he thrived. But we are sorry for you.â
âWeâre his family,â Remyâs mother huffs.
âYou were his family,â Pete corrects as he steps closer to me. âHeâs ours now. And this is the last time we will ask you to leave. Next time we see you here unwelcomed, weâll get the authorities involved.â
The man looks at me, and it feels so strange, eyes so much like Remyâs glaring at me with such cold contempt instead of tender heat. âYou have to have some silly head on you to let my son get you like that,â he tells me, pointing at my stomach.
Suddenly Iâm drawn back into a muscled wall. My breath tangles in my throat when a huge hand opens protectively over my midsection, and the sound of Remingtonâs voice from over the top of my head sends all the little hairs in my arms standing.
âCome near her or anything of mine again, and Iâll show you in a heartbeat how dangerous I am,â he says in a dead flat tone, all the more predatory for its quietness.
The volatile energy emanating from his large frame makes my pulse accelerate in anticipation of his parentsâ reply. Neither of them seems capable of holding Remingtonâs stare too long. Lips pursed tight, the man grabs his wife and drags her down the walkway toward the small car at the curb.
My limbs are shaking, most of my weight resting back against Remy when he clenches my hips and tightly murmurs, âGet in.â
We go inside.
Remington grabs a water bottle from the kitchen and drinks it all down quickly. Heâs still in his workout gear, his muscles glistening. He shakes his wet hair then he drops down on one of the living room couches and sends the empty bottle spinning on the floor, angrily watching it twirl. His elbows rest on his knees, his broad shoulders hard and tense, and his dark head is bent as he stares at nothing but that spinning bottle. Round and round it goes.
âI donât think your parents like your choice of woman, Rem,â Riley speaks first. Heâs trying to make light of what just happened, but nobody laughs. The tension in the air is so thick youâd have to hack at it with an axe.
Remington lifts his head and pins me down with violently tender blue eyes. âThey ever come near you, Iâm the first to know. Do you hear me, firecracker?â
The fierce protectiveness in his gaze makes an equally protective feeling wrap tightly around my gut. âThey werenât looking for me, they were looking for you.â
âI donât want them near you. I donât want them near our children,â he angrily says. My heart wrings in my chest; did he say âchildren,â in plural? I want to smile and hug him for this, but the look in his eyes is almost . . . raw with pain.
âAre you done?â I ask lightheartedly, signaling outside, to where he was working out.
He nods slowly, his face tight as he watches me head over to him.
Heâs brooding, his anger palpable in the air. He wears a strange expression, as if heâs trying to pull himself together. He keeps clenching and unclenching his jaw. I hate that he had to come face-to-face with his parents, but time and again, heâs proven that heâll do anything to protect me.
My head feels both bruised and swollen as I drop down at his side and take his arm, seizing his thick wrist and starting to work on it. âI canât believe two assholes like them created something as wonderful as you,â I whisper softly.
Pete quietly goes into the kitchen and Riley heads out to the lawn to help Coach clean up.
Their footsteps fade, and everything around us feels muted as Remington looks at me. His voice carries that calm, deadly quiet it does when heâs getting extremely busy battling something within himself. âTheyâre right, little firecracker.â
I feel like Iâve been struck with a baseball bat right in my chest.
Inhaling a slow breath, he looks at me fiercely. âBrooke, I wouldnât wish a father like me on Scorpionâs offspring, much less my own kid.â
No. Not a baseball bat. I think Iâve just been slammed into by a train. Pain streaks through me, and my hands fall from his arm. âPlease donât say this. Please donât think anything other than that youâll be the best father.â
He clamps his jaw, and I can tell he softens his voice for my sake. âIt could be like me.â
âHow like you?â I fiercely counter, clutching my stomach. âBeautiful, inside and out? With more willpower than anyone Iâve ever known. Herculean, generous, kindââ
He looks so tormented, I seize his jaw and force him to look at me. âYouâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me. Youâre human, Remy, and real, and I wouldnât have you any other way. We want this. We want a family together. We deserve itâjust like anybody else.â
He clamps his jaw and grits his teeth, âLittle firecracker, wanting it doesnât mean itâs right. Iâm fucking worthless for anything but fighting.â
âNo, youâre not. Youâre a great fighter, but thatâs not what makes you YOU. Remy, donât you see how inspiring you are? Youâre honest, driven, passionate, fierce, and tender. You protect and provide without any expectations. Iâve never heard you judge people, criticize. You live your own life by your own rules and do your best to protect those who surround you. You love even harder than you fight, and Iâve never seen anyone fight like you. Nobody taught you how to be like youâitâs just you. Any shape you come in, you are the only father I would have ever wanted for my children, and the only man I will ever love. Let those two go. They biologically made you, but they. Did. Not. Make. You.â
He absorbs my words, and as he thinks about them, I grab the back of his head and pull him down so I can kiss those beautiful lips, and stop them from saying any more hurtful things about himself.
His mouth, hard at first, softens under my pressure, until I feel the tension in him ease as he tongues me back and murmurs against my lips, âYouâre blinded because youâre mine.â
âNo. I see you because Iâm yours.â
He eases back to search my expression, his gaze shining protectively on me, I know he will do anything to protect me and our baby.
âThey donât agree with my choice. Are you all right with it?â he asks me.
God, Iâm all right with anything he does, thatâs how much I trust, respect, and love him. I know heâs asking about his choice to use natural means to control his illness. It probably takes him double the effort that it would take him to medicate; it takes discipline and an entire lifestyle devoted to his well-being, and, frankly, itâs not like heâs making a political stand out of the issue. Itâs his life and heâs trying to live it, and I want to live mine with him. Everyone who has ever been sick or has ever been on medication long-term knows that when you fix one thing chemically in your body, you give something else up. Look at the list of side effects. There is no magic pill for health.
We are works in progress, and health is not a static place. It is a goal that is always moving and needs to be chased, daily, and forever. Remington will always fight this fight . . . and I will always fight it with him.
âIâm okay with your choice, Remy,â I say to him, holding his gaze so he knows that I mean it.
The smile that appears on his face is oh so tender. âWeâre going to have a little someone who depends on us. You have to tell me if itâs too much for you, Brooke.â
âIâll let you know,â I agree.
He takes my little hand in his big, callused one, and we both watch our hands as we interlace our fingers. âThen give me your word youâll tell me if I ever get out of hand and youâd like me to medicate, and I give you my word Iâll do it the instant you ask me to.â
âRemington, I give you my word,â I say, squeezing his hand.
âAnd I give you mine.â He tugs me closer and wraps me in his arms, and I slide right in, absorbing his strong, protective embrace as he spreads his fingers on my round stomach and ducks his head over my shoulder to look at the swell. âI will protect you until I die,â he whispers against the back of my ear. âNothing will ever hurt you two. If sheâs like me, Iâm going to hold her up like they never did. Iâm going to show her she can still thrive. Itâs still worth it.â
Iâm completely melted as I turn my head to bury my nose in his sweaty chest, not wanting to be anywhere else. âItâs going to be a he. And heâs got this. Like you do.â