Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Kellin’s been around me twenty four seven. There’s two sides to this. One, he’s protecting me because life hasn’t been getting any better. There have been killings lately and I know its by the same person who tried to kill me. But the second side to this, Kellin’s always fucking around and it pisses me the hell off I swear. Horny masochistic freak just entering my space like it can be combined with his. No. I like my space away from him. I don’t mind if he’s in the same room anymore but I cringe when he touches me. Why does he touch me for? I can’t wait for the day I stab his hand. That will be a great time to be alive.

It was December twenty fifth. Christmas. A holiday I don’t celebrate anymore. Its depressing to see parents with their kids having the greatest time ever. I only had five years of that and I can’t even remember that. I wonder what presents I got or what the mornings were like. All the stuff on tv must be accurate, maybe at least. It would be nice to have a nice Christmas.

I didn’t want to stay alone while Kellin was out being a little bitch to his leader or something like that. Apparently he could get in trouble for being around me; it makes me wonder how he could take such a dramatic risk and stand by it. Whatever. I know every place just might be closed but I have a key to the cafe so I think I might just chill there and eat stuff. It might be fun.

Being alone.

I walked through the snow and into the shop. It was only noon so the sun was shining bright over the snow that I hope will melt soon. I took off my jacket as I walked further inside. It was completely quiet which made me suspicious. There was a black guitar case laying on the red couch in the back. It can’t be mine though, I have all of mine. There was a bright blue bow right on top of it, making it all flashy. I wanted to touch it. Is there a guitar in there?

“Merry Christmas,” Kellin said behind me. I frowned as I turned to him. And what is he doing here? He walked by me and sat next to the guitar case, opening it. My eye twitched. That’s a Squier deluxe strat electric guitar. I want that one, I remember promising myself that when I was fifteen. That would be my next guitar. My breathing sped as I stared at this.

“Is that...um,” I couldn’t think clear. I was already naming it. Daphne, because its Daphne blue. Like the sky sometimes. “Is that a gift?” I asked.

“It is actually. I found this up in Maine the other day.” he said.

“Can I...can I have it?” I asked. He laughed, anticipating something.

“Its your Christmas gift.” he said. I ran for it, my new baby. Oh my god. Kellin shut the case before I could get my hands on it. What? “What do I get in return?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” I asked like he wasn’t serious. He can’t just want something back. That’s not in the Christmas spirit much.

“I know what I want.” he said, looking up at me with lustful eyes.

“Hell no. If you think I’d subject myself lower than you just for a guitar then you’re stupid.” I said and turned away.

“Well I guess I can bring this back because its not like I need it.” he said. Shit. Daphne I love you.

“This is wrong.” I said.

“No morality, remember?” he was teasing me. He took my hand and pulled me down on his lap. This wasn’t a place I wanted to be sitting. “Relax, I won’t make you do anything. Its a gift.” he sighed when he noticed my anxiety. I have a new guitar. This was probably the happiest I’ve been in a while. It was nice to have a gift given for Christmas. I remember it was a struggle at the orphanage for anyone to get anything. All we gave each other was encouragement with the occasional tears.

“Thank you,” I murmured silently as I looked down at my hands. I was blushing hard. Giving Kellin the satisfaction of anything makes me nervous but I really have to show gratitude.

“I don’t mind making you happy,” he said. I pulled my lips in tightly when my heart jammed. Why the hell would he say something like that, he really is an idiot I swear.

“Don’t say things like that,” I said through my pursed lips. He laughed lightly as he pulled me even closer. His hands touched my face, moving my hair back.

“I love you,” he said passionately. I didn’t dare look into his eyes. That will rupture me internally. The chilling silver color or the threatening red or the dark black. All those affect me the same. I wanted to say something. Lately I’ve been warming up to Kellin and I mean that. He does annoy the shit out of me but its different now.

I know I’m about to make a mistake.

I murmured my statement silently under my breath but he can’t say I didn’t say it though.

“I didn’t hear that,” he pressured.

“I said I like you okay,” I snapped. He smiled triumphantly. That’s what he wanted to hear.

“That’s a start.” he said.

“That’s all you’re getting.” I said angrily. Nothing will make me say or feel any further. He played with my hair, twirling a strand around his finger.

“Maybe we could have a little fun.” he said and I knew what he was suggesting.

“No,” I stammered as I felt the heat on my face. He kissed my neck as his hands moved in my sweater. I clenched my teeth down to keep in any unnecessary sounds. He teases too much.

I felt like I was falling back so I wrapped my arms around his neck. That was the first free movement I did on my own. He still sucked on my neck, making me tilt my head further back. God, I can’t deal with this, I really can’t. His fingers started pinching my nipples and it made me twitch; I bit my bottom lip as I tried to concentrate. But I was so hot in a matter of seconds which isn’t fair. His tongue ran up my skin slowly as he pulled my sweater with it. He got it off me and pulled me up against his body.

His lips crashed on mine, his tongue already gaining entrance. I groaned but chose to not pull away from him. It would only provoke him to go further. I might want him to though. My body felt that way but not my brain. Its time to shut down anyway. His tongue did it all, licking everywhere inside my mouth. I just tried to not over do it much. His hands moved to my belt and got it unbuckled quick. He really wants to head off there doesn’t he?

“Wait wait wait,” I pushed away from him nervously.

“Oh my god,” he groaned, rolling his head back. He can’t just expect this to be a smooth run when I’m scared as fuck. This isn’t something I want to do and he knows that.

“You know I don’t like this. Its your fault for going too far.” I said. He rolled his eyes and ignored me as he kissed me again. It was softer, sweeter, nicer. What the hell is he planning to do? His hands still went for my jeans but he was trying to distract me from that. He wasn’t nice when he grabbed me; I jolted on top of him, crying out from surprised. It annoyed me how he thought it was amusing. Its not funny to just grab at me like that.

He kissed me again and again as he stroked me. I wanted to stop this now but I couldn’t bring myself to say no. His body was warm, like mine. I clutched him tightly as he teased me more, stroking at different rhythms that made me twitch. It drove me insane. I couldn’t breathe with his mouth on mine like this. He sucked on my tongue so agonizingly slow that it made me ache for him to go faster. The moans and cries slipped out.

I felt good.

Shit. My mind felt fuzzy. I was drowning in all this emotion he was giving off. How does he do this to me? His mouth moved to my neck, licking, sucking, biting. I choked back my shameful noises but that’s when his hand tightened on me, causing me to cry out. That’s unfair.

“I love you,” he said lowly. No no no. Saying that to me makes it worse. My heart pounded rougher in my chest, making it harder to breathe. I wanted him to not say that to me. He repeated it over and over again as he kissed me.

“No more, please.” I begged. Its likely he would have tuned me out by now. He didn’t let me go like I knew he wouldn’t.

“I want you.” he said. How about not now? I couldn’t say that when that’s not what I wanted. I have to admit he has me wrapped around his finger, just pulling me in. I couldn’t fight him anymore. I just had to give up, my body knows what it wants now.

I ended up on the floor. I’m not surprised as to how I got there. I’m a complete wreck. My hips were aching and so was my neck. I had cum on me, dripping from my body. Is that exercise or what? I was super tired and its his fault, its all his fault. I hated being put to shame, let alone by him. I don’t want to believe I react just like that. Calling his name, crying out, begging and pleading. Hell no. Not me. That wasn’t me.

I put my jeans on even though I wasn’t even clean yet. Its disgusting. I glared over to Kellin who sat there, still being perfect. Not a hair was out of place but I look like shit. Fuck him.

Most eventful Christmas. This should happen more often actually. Pierce glared at me as he got dressed. Ouch. Maybe I can just make it a little better.

“Don’t you want to play it?” I opened up the guitar case. His eyes sparkled as he looked at it.

“Hell yes.” he grabbed it out of the case and was gone. He has an obsession with guitars. He loves them more than he’ll ever probably love me. I can understand. That’s what he had most his life so its not like I’m going to pull him away from that. I want to see him happy.

And he was. Nothing makes him happier than playing on one of his guitars. It was nice to see his smiling face. I want to be able to do that but I know it would take a while before he’s completely able to do that. I can wait though, I’ll what I have to.

“This is amazing!” he screeched like a little kid. “Oh Daphne baby, I love you.” he started to pet it.

“You have an obsession.” I said.

“I know,” he admitted quietly. Then he went silent. Something was wrong with him now, he seemed sad. That’s unusual for him I guess. “T-thank you, Kellin. This is great.” he murmured. That’s fine for now, I’ll take anything he gives me.

“I love you,” I said. His cheeks turned a shade of dark red as he stammered for words. I embarrass him sometimes but its okay.

“Whatever,” he turned around and put his new guitar down on the table. I could feel his heart beating from here, he’s nervous alright. It made me smile to know I mess with his head. There will be a time when he says he loves me and I doubt it’ll be long. He came for the rest of his clothes, fixing it on properly now. I don’t think I’ll let him leave just yet. I took his wrist and pulled him down on me.

“What the hell? Let go of me,” he tried to wiggle out of my grip but he can’t. “I’ll stab you in the face if you don’t let go,” he threatened.

“Please baby, go ahead,” I said.

“You sick freak, get off me.” he struggled.

“You said I love you wrong.” I said as I tightened my arms around him.

“You’re pretty cocky.” he shoved against me. He’s so weak, it made me laugh.

“You like that,” I bit his ear. He yelped and started to tremble. Pierce has a ton of soft spots everywhere. That’s why he’s so vulnerable.

“Kellin, stop.” he was shaking. That’s a nice thing to hear from him actually. I wanted to take him all over again, just fuck him hard. It took all my strength to not pin him down and do just that. I let go of him and he was quick to get off me; his face was still red, like always.

He was looking right through me, like there was something going on. His concentration set in quickly and his presence was basically gone. What’s wrong? Should I panic, I was already panicking anyway.

“Go home, I’ll be there,” he said quickly as he got up and was gone. What? I found my jacket and put it on as I packed my guitar away in its case. Would it not be safe to leave me like this? Whatever. I’m about to go running in broad day light. Fuck.

I got outside. It didn’t feel like it was unsafe but I was paranoid anyway, it doesn’t matter. I walked fast then the cold started to affect me. It was fine, I’ll be fine. Right?

Someone turned me around and I was on my way to screaming when a hand covered my mouth. It was Kellin’s blond friend. I’m going to die here aren’t I? He stared down at me with red eyes. I wanted to believe he wasn’t threatening but every vampire is. It doesn’t matter if they have a nice face or not and believe me, he looks like he can hurt a fly I swear. If anything, I don’t think this life is for him but I’m sure he can be threatening if he wants to.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said. Yeah the hell right. I doubt that was even true, what’s his purpose for being here then. “I just want to ask some questions,” he said. Then it hit me.

“You were the one who-”

“Distracted him? Yes, but it won’t take him long to figure out I tricked him so I have to make this fast.” he said. Tricking Kellin to talk to me? I’m a target. I know that much.

“What do you want?” I asked, trying to not be rude. He said he wasn’t going to hurt me so I can at least try to not make this difficult. He could kill me if I try anything so I just won’t.

“Its regarding one of your roommates.” he said.

“You mean Jeremy.” I said bitterly.

“So Kellin told you?” he asked. I nodded. I was living with a vampire and that most likely put me in a corner. I didn’t even know about it. “Well I need you tell me if you noticed anything suspicious.” he said.

“Suspicious? The dude’s a vampire, how much more suspicious can he get?” I almost shouted. What he wanted to know is dumb.

“What did he do? What he talked about? All that.” he said. I thought for a moment. Its hard to think about things I try to block.

“He was barely even here for starters. And when he was, he was either in his room or just messing around with Toby.” I shrugged. Nothing would have made me thought anything less of him. “He was basically the perfect criminal, always talking about what to do if someone was “accidentally” killed.” I said. That should have set my thoughts off but it didn’t.

“Anything else?” he asked.

“Well he said he always wanted to be in charge, you know, like a leader. He said something about armies or groups or something like that.” I did my best to say. It was sort of unclear. But that was what he was probably looking for. A light bulb went off over he his head as he looked at me. He got something. But what’s going on? Is Jeremy a problem though? I stared at his face for a moment.

“That’s interesting. Than-” Something hit him. Next thing I saw was Kellin on top of him a few paces away; he had his foot on his friend’s back as he pulled on one of his arms. He’s not going to kill him is he?

“What did I tell you, Layne, what the hell did I tell you?” he shouted. Oh my god. There was a blur again, both of them were fighting each other now. I heard the growling and snarling. Did Kellin really have to go this far?

When I saw them again, Kellin was still on top, snarling and threatening his friend. I shouldn’t be surprised by this now. It was just a normal thing to see two vampires fight on the side of the street. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM DOING THIS NOW. I took a breath so I wouldn’t rage on.

“Hey, I’m doing you a favor, Kellin. Please get off me.” his friend said. Kellin was slow to move but he did. They have something they’re doing. I don’t know what it is, how it involves me and I don’t really want to. I know how it all ends, the human gets kidnapped and killed and all. I read books. There’s absolutely no way I’m going get caught up in this mess; I walked past them but its not like they noticed. They’re too busy arguing to notice. It annoys me how this is happening. Does Jeremy want me or something, because I’ll be happy to move away and never come back. I swear this isn’t happening.

What the hell does Layne think he’s doing? He knows my stuff is off limits. I told him countless of times that Pierce is not to get close to any one else but me. Vampires are greedy selfish little shits and that’s not even supposed to work. I wanted to hit him but he caught my fists faster than I could throw them.

“Jeremy is deciding to over throw Dante,” he said, struggling to get me off him. Like hell would I. I feel like he’s just saying that so I can be trapped in my stupid mind. I know I’m not as smart as he is so its pointless.

“They’re friends, how the hell would that work?” I asked.

“They’re friends. That’s how it works.” he said. I stopped trying to break my hands away from him. Wow, Jeremy is just as low as most other vampires. I can’t believe he’s cheating Dante out. I mean yeah, Dante is a pain in my ass but I would never just go with Jeremy. That’s stupid. “He’s counting on you to say something about it to Dante, but then he would only use that human of yours to pay the price for it.” he said.

“So we’re stuck,” I said.

“Exactly,” he agreed.

“And what about Lucas?” I asked.

“He’s just a decoy, a distraction. The only purpose he serves is to distract Dante,” he said. So its most likely Jeremy will get rid of Lucas himself. Wow. We’ve all been distracted by this. Jeremy really is smarter than he looks. This is going to be a problem for most of us. Me. Just because I’m getting nosy and all. He decides to us Pierce as leverage, just in case I do something stupid. There’s no way out of this one for me.

“I hope Jeremy knows we killed every single one of Lucas’s group.” I said as I got off of him.

“He knows that but he doesn’t care. I don’t know about Lucas but Jeremy didn’t need them anyway,” he said as he brushed his clothes off. I guess I should apologize for going off on him but I thought I should keep that to myself. Either way, he’d be fine. “Just keep watch, I’m sure your secret will be leaked out any time soon.” he said. If I could get sick, now would be the time for that. Jeremy really is threatening to let out my secret. Fuck. I really have to just lay back then.

“I hate all this,” I stomped away, whining like a kid. All of this drama and stupidity.

“Don’t let the human out of your sight,” Layne called to me. Like I would ever do something as dumb as that. Hell no. I would never.

I found Pierce before he was even close to be in his apartment. I just looked at him for a while before deciding to go to him. My human. Huh. He’s something. Not any other human could catch my attention like he does. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure no one else has it. I hope he’ll be able to get over the fact I killed his mother....if I told him something like that. But I wouldn’t. How could I destroy something like this when I got so far. He was finally able to say that he liked me. That is probably a big step from where we were in the beginning. I want him to love me back but that’s a lot to ask for. I’ll have to stick to what I have before I make a stupid decision.

I stared at him for a while, and followed closely behind him. I’ve been so up close lately that I forgot how bad it ached it to be near him. Just watching. His black hair blew in the wind, covering his slightly red face. It gets longer and longer everyday. He changes everyday. He gets bigger, and taller. He learns more, gains more. I would never want to deprive him of that, its his life. But at the same time, I just want to protect him and make him happy. Its challenging. I want to see that smiling face of his, the true happiness I know he can give off.

I sighed. What the hell am I doing? I shouldn’t waste time to just think and be an idiot. Its obvious there’s some thinks I just can’t do, meaning be everything I want to be to Pierce. So I just have to suck it up. I walked up next to him silently; it took him a while to notice I was even next to him. I didn’t say anything about it though, it would be a bit much.

“So what’s going on?” he asked.

“Just the regular threats and attempts to be leader.” I shrugged. Its happened to other groups but not this one. For a couple reason, we’re such a large group, no one wants to be responsible, Dante has a vampire kill rate of more than the human population. That last one is a giant contributor.

“I’m guessing that doesn’t happen much.” he said. I shrugged again. “So what do I have to do with this?” he asked.

“I get nosy,” I said.

“I know,” he said, monotone. I know he doesn’t care about this, at least he doesn’t care enough to freak out. Yet. “What happens?” he asked, as in now.

“I stay with you.” I answered.

“Don’t get yourself killed.” he said. He cares. That made me just a bit happier. I know he doesn’t mean it in the sense that I was taking it but it was still nice to have him say that.

I put my arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to me. He didn’t cringe or push me away like he does on a daily basis. He just let me do this. It gets better everyday. Well today has been at its finest. Pierce tells me he likes me, then I get sex, and now he’s not being stubborn. How much closer can I get?

“Let go of me.” he finally said. But of course I wouldn’t. I liked holding him like this. Actually feeling some real heat and a heart beat. I forgot what this was like, what it was.

“I love you,” I said. He stopped walking, going completely silent; his hand removed my arm from his shoulders and he turned to face me. He looked determined. To do what?

“I... l-lo-” he stopped and turned away. Meanwhile, I was in shock. My jaw had dropped as I stared at him. He was going to say it, he was going to fucking say it.

“Why the hell did you stop?” I shouted. Blood rushed to his face as he turned further away from me. Was he honestly going to say it to me? What the hell?! That’s not fair. Life is still a bitch even to someone like me. I put my hands on his shoulders and turned him to face me; he immediately started to panic inside as he looked away.

“Keep going.” I said.

“Hell no, let go of me.” he said stubbornly.

“Say it.” I begged.

“I tried.” he murmured.

“Try again.” I said quickly. Does he not understand what this means? He loves me. Me!

“You’re greedy, let go of me.” he said as he tried to pull out of my grip.

“That’s not fair, you could at least try to say it again.” I pouted.

“I’ll try again when I feel like it.” he said and got away from me. It was like he seemed sad or depressed; he’s thinking about it, about how its hurting or why this is happening. His goal was to never let me in, to keep his hatred in his mind so he would never forget what happened. But I crushed his barrier and now its really affecting him.

Maybe I did this wrong. I forced myself all over him and even though its turning out good, there’s still going to be issues, like his conscience. He’s going to be thinking about this a lot then. My intentions were to never be the one that made him depressed. I guess its finally clicking in.

“Are you coming?” he asked, already ahead of me. I’m surprised he would want me to come with him, he never does. But I guess Today could be considered special. After all, it is Christmas. Maybe he doesn’t want to be alone.