The three of them walked down the center of the oversized train, which had enough space in the center for two of Hardcaseâs mech-suits to walk side-by side. Which was probably by design.
The construction was mind-bogglingly massive and resembled a towering apartment complex sitting on itâs side rather than a train, and it had the space to match.
There was nothing âstandardâ about the inter-city train. The steel beams for the tracks had been mass-produced by an Industrial Tinker, designed and reinforced by a Train Tinker, then covered in armor plating sourced from The Workshop.
The tracks were ten meters apart and as wide as a king-sized bed. Rather than cutting someone in half by laying them out on the tracks, you would simply flatten their entire body like one of those railroad pennies.
Contrary to expectation, the inter-city train did not go as fast as possible to avoid staying out in the wilderness for long, because the Replicators were smart and it didnât take much smarts at all to sabotage the tracks.
Instead, the train moved along at a relative snailâs pace, escorted by a few dozen supers while scanning the track in front of itself carefully.
Perry could ride his bike to Washington city faster than the train could.
Heâd probably get eaten by mutated ants or giant mind-controlling badger people, but the point stood.
The three of them arrived in the middle of the pack and were lucky enough to find three seats next to each other near the front of the auditorioum, where a man was standing next to the podium.
Once everyone was seated, the man at the podium began to speak, his jowels making his grey mustache jiggle.
âGood morning, ladies and gentlemen, Iâm conductor Walthers. When speaking to me, call me Conductor or Conductor Walthers. When speaking of me to others, I donât give a shit.â
âNow,â the conductor said. âOrientation. Your cabin assignment and your escort details were chosen by Nexus to maximize efficiency, and for the most part Iâm going to stick to that, but while youâre on my train, I have the final say.â
âTo my right is Commander Vern, and to my left are lieutenants Hutchins, Cassock, Jackson and Clark.â He said, pointing at the men and women standing at attention beside him. âCommander Vern will be in charge while I sleep, and the lieutenants will organize the escorts. Any order from them is an order from me.â
A silver screen dropped down behind Conductor Walthers, and he turned partially to face it as a graphic of the train was displayed.
âNow, the armory, where the Tinker weapons are stored is here,â He motioned to a heavily armored segment of the train that was buried under layers of cabins and armor, near the center.
âIf there is a need, you can follow the yellow line on the ceiling to reach the armory. Itâs roughly equidistant from all the cabins.â
âThe train has a series of automated alarms, each of which is composed of multiple color combinations, borrowing from Franklin Cityâs setup for ease of transition.â
A list of a dozen or so color combinations filled the screen, along with a sentence describing them.
âYouâll also receive a pamphlet and thereâs a cheat sheet painted on the inside of your roomâs doors. The ones circled in red are all hands-on-deck situations and mean that everyone on board will likely need to defend themselves. In those situations, the armory will be unfolded, allowing for higher traffic to pass through.â
âThe ones circled in yellow indicate certain bulkheads have been sealed as containment measures. There will be a pictogram LED display beside these warnings that will indicate which bulkheads are sealed, and where you are in relation to them.â
Perryâs attention began to wane, despite his best efforts. He knew it was important stuff, but it was so dry!â
Perry tuned in on some of the more interesting fragments of the trainâs orientation.
ââ¦In the event of brain controlling parasites, you are expected to commit suicide before they achieve full motor control. If this is too difficult, please inform one of the lieutenants that youâve got brain-worms, and they will end your sufferingâ¦â
ââ¦The event that no one you know remembers who you are, you may assume there is either a Minder attack or you are a composite entity that has been regurgitated byâ¦.
ââ¦Do not go outside during a wandering gravity storm without the power of flight and a body that is rated for at least fifteen Gâsâ¦â
ââ¦Do not bring back animals you have hunted during escort duty to the cafeteria and serve them up. Thatâs how you get brain worms...â
ââ¦The cafeteria has a set menu each day and you may eat as much as you like. Loitering in the cafeteria is encouraged for those who donât have escort dutyâ¦â
ââ¦Children conceived on the train must be checked for supernatural entities that may have tried to stow away inside them before the age of fourâ¦â
ââ¦The rec room has been difficult to find ever since the minder, Nonsense was killed there repelling a hostile boarding action. If you do find the rec room, do not report where it is to command. We wonât remember it, and neither will you. If you stumble across the rec room and arenât on duty, feel free to have a good time, but make sure you clean up after yourself, since the janitorial staff cannot find the placeâ¦â
Another fifteen minutes of orientation later, and they were dismissed, Natalie holding their escort schedule.
âLooks like weâre on duty in two days,â Natalie said as the three of them walked back to their rooms. âWeâll be escorting the fourth car for eight hours, and about half the days afterwards, too.â
âTwo days off?â Perry asked. âThatâs sweet! Who wants to find the rec-room?â
âYou donât find the rec room, man,â A nearby man in a grey jumpsuit with a mop and bucket called out to them through the crowd. âYou gotta let it come to you.â He was missing at least one tooth, and his hair was frizzy and matted. The whites of his eyes were visible all the way around.
This seems like a legitimate source of information. Perry waded through the foot traffic and addressed the janitor.
âAnd how do you âlet it come to youâ? Is there a specific method?â If the room itself had residual psychic energy pushing people away, there might be a particular mindset or behavior that would act like a key and allow someone to stumble into it more easily.
âWhoah, nobodyâs ever asked thatâ¦â The wild-eyed man frowned glancing down. âI guess you just gotta be there already before you can realize that youâve found it.â
âSo what youâre saying is, we should get lost and play around with stuff until whatever weâre fiddling with turns into a foosball table.â
âYou got it, man!â the fellow said.
âThank you!â Perry said. âThat was very helpful.â
âYou wanna smoke? I got an âofficeâ I set up in one of the emergency escape pods.â The man pulled an outrageously big joint out of his jumpsuit.
âIâm underage, and
a Tinker, so probably not the best idea,â Perry said. doing drugs and Tinkering had caused some pretty awful scenarios. Some pretty hilarious ones, too, but Perry was more concerned with the former.
âSame,â Nat said, waving her hand and shaking her head.
âCool, cool, you, Maâam?â he asked, turning to Heather.
Heather shrugged. âEh, why not?â
Perry sighed and followed them to the manâs âofficeâ, which was a hall full of decrepit escape pods from back when the government thought escape pods on a train were a good idea.
Heather and Jerry smoked while Jerry gave them a janitorâs-eye view tour of the train.
âYeah, back in the early aughtâs,â Jerry said over Heatherâs coughing. âThey had the âgreatâ idea to add lifeboats to the train that could allow passengers to make a break for it. Only problem was, anything nasty enough to stop the train was nasty enough to stop the escape pods. Took a lot of dead people, but they eventually just panelled this place up and removed it from the map of the train.â
âThey forgot to seal up the maintenance access on this car, though,â he said, pointing at the door theyâd come through.
âNow I use it to take my smoke breaks and watch TV, maybe catch a siesta in the middle of the day.â
âThese batteries are worth millions,â Perry said, peeking at where Jerry had hotwired one of the escape podâs quantum foam batteries to run a TV and gaming console. âCoulda sold one and retired.â
Natalie peeked out around his waist and gasped.
âI ainât a thief,â Jerry said with a shrug. âBesides, I love my life, I love my job.ân/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
âI guess thatâs fair enough.â Perry couldnât steal one of the batteries without incriminating Jerry, nor could he inform the train conductor of the massive amount of wasted power just sitting here without losing Jerry his âofficeâ, which would be a grade A âDick Moveâ, after the aging janitor had invited them into what appeared to be his actual home.
There was a sink composed of an emergency decontamination unit and a plastic tub, a âkitchenâ with a heating coil and a saucepan, even a mattress in the corner of the room with a ton of old magazines of various levels of safe-for-work spread around it haphazardly.
âWhoah there, Maâam,â Jerry said, taking the joint out of Heatherâs fingers as she started coughing violently. âThe point is to have a good time, not punish yourself. Take it easy.â
âI donât think I can see.â Heather croaked between coughing fits.
âGive it a couple minutes, blink the tears away.â Jerry said, puffing on the joint.
Perry peered up above the huge, rocket shaped emergency escape pods, into the tubes they rested in.
âDoes that lead all the way to the outside?â Perry asked.
Jerry stood up and peered up the firing tube, smoke curling around his nose and into his eyes and hair, although he didnât seem to notice.
âSure does, just a thin hatch between us and the outside world. Could even open it up to get some fresh air if you wanted to.â Jerry motioned toward one of the oversized buttons encased in a sturdy plastic box beside the escape hatch.
âAlthough Iâm not entirely sure which one opens the hatch and which one launches the escape podâ¦â Jerry stroked his scraggly beard.
âProbably not a good idea to open this area to the outside world while weâre outside the city,â Perry said. âAnd they definitely have an automated report sent to the bridge if an escape pod begins launch procedures.â
âYeah, I guess so,â Jerry said with a shrug. âKnew there was a reason I taped those down.â
Perry chuckled.
âHey, am I seeing things, or is your friendâ¦melting?â Jerry asked when he turned back towards the seating.
âI have no idea whatâs going on, my short term memory is fried,â Heather said, shaking her head from where she drooped around the edges of the milk-carton âchairâ sheâd been sitting in.
âI think weâll take Wraith to our cabin.â
âCafeteria.â Heather said, shaking her head. âItâs all-you-can-eat.â
âCafeteria then.â
âTry the gummy worms and pizza,â Jerry said, waving to them as they left, Heather putting her utmost focus into walking and not turning into a puddle.
Once they were out of earshot and back on the main hall, Perry spoke.
âI donât want to come off as judge-y, because Jerry seems harmless and you could probably kill him if he tried anything, but what inspired you to follow a strange man back to an undisclosed location to do drugs with him? Thatâs generally a red flag.â
âI dunno,â Heather said. âIâm justâ¦frustrated, and thought maybe smoking some pot would help.â
âFrustrated with what?â
âMy dad! Where is he? What is he doing? Is he planning on killing me, or did he just cut ties completely? I thinkâ¦I think he might be in Washington City.â
âOh,â Perry said.
âI wanna find him while weâre there.â
âAnd then what?â Perry asked.
âKick the crap out of him for eighteen years in a row. Then weâd be even.â
âThat seems difficult to cram into two weeks, but we can help you look for him.â Perry said.
âIâll help too.â Natalie said, her face set with determination.
âAw, thanks Nat, youâre so cute and tiny and squishable,â Heather said, stepping away from Perryâs shoulder. âI could just eat you up. Nom nom nom!â
Natalie shrieked as Heather began to engulf the smaller girl like The Blob.
âWeâre fine, itâs fine,â Perry said as passing supers in the main hall gave the three of them odd looks while he tugged the squirming Natalie out of Heatherâs grasp.
âHeather. Pizza? Remember the cafeteria being all you can eat?â
Heather reformed, her eyes bloodshot while a trembling Natalie clung to Perry like a koala.
âYouâre right,â She craned her neck to look at the arrows on the ceiling. âWhich color was it, again?â
âBlue for the cafeteria.â Perry said.
âDear Lord, Iâm hungry,â Heather said as she began following the line.
âAre you all right?â Perry asked Natalie.
âIâm fine.â Natalie said, climbing down from his torso. âIt was like stepping into a warm bath with a plastic bag around you. I was just surprised is all.â
âGets into weird places,â Natalie muttered under her breath as they walked.
Nerve boosted Perryâs hearing by about 47%. High enough above normal to be considered a superpower.