The next morning I wake up, and Aiden has already left. "What time is it?" I ask my mom, and she jumps up from her desk chair when I speak to her.
"You startled me." she says holding her chest like her breath is lost. "It's a little past ten." Ten. I must have been really tired last night.
"Seriously?" I ask.
"Serious. You missed breakfast with Aiden and I. I told him I would wake you up, but he said you could probably use the sleep so we let you sleep in." she says, and I smile as I walk to the fridge to pour some juice.
"You want me to fix you something?" she asks.
"Oh no, I'm fine. Do you have any cereal?"
"Just corn flakes." she admits, taking a sip of her cup of coffee.
"That's fine." I answer, and she starts to walk to the pantry, and I stop her.
"No mom. It's okay, I can fix it." I grin at her, and she smiles back at me, taking her coffee to the table.
"Okie doke." she answers, sipping on her drink. While I pour the cereal in my bowl my mom just stares at me.
"What?" I ask quietly. I stop to look at her.
"You're just so happy. I honestly haven't seen you this happy since you were a child." her voice is low and sincere.
"Technically I'm still a child until the end of the year." I crack at her.
"Technically you'll always be my child." she laughs, then say's "But honestly Mora. I haven't seen you like this since you were little. I like it!"
I set my cereal on the table, and take a big gulp of juice. "Mom, I don't know what's going on with me. He's all I think about every day, all day. What's wrong with me?"
"Oh baby, you're in love!" she leans over to rub the top of my hand. "and he's in love." She keeps her voice low when she says that.
"Is this what it was like with you and dad?" I ask, and surprisingly she's quick to respond.
"Yep. I was over the moon in love with your father."
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Yes. I was probably a year older than you when I met him. He went to a neighboring community college near mine, and we met at a party believe it or not." she says, and I'm shocked.
"Dad partied?"
"Oh yeah. Don't let him fool you. He had a crazy side when he was younger."
"Why do I think that's awesome?" I ask. It's true. He's always so uptight. It's cool to know at one time he was just like Conner and I.
"Because it is awesome." Mom laughs at my comment. "People change when they have kids, but they have to." she smiles, and I nod.
"So did you feel this way about Ron too?" I ask her, and this time she is slow to respond.
"I'm so in love with Ron, but I was much older when I met him then your father. With Ron I was looking for a future, and with Jared I was looking for passion, and excitement. In your younger days you don't really look for a spouse, or what someone has like jobs, or the house they have, and things like that. The older you get, the more you realize those things matter." I'm shocked because I thought she left dad because of lack of passion, and chose Ron because of it.
"I don't understand. So you don't feel for Ron the way I feel for Aiden?" I ask, and she doesn't hesitate with her answer.
"No honey. I still love him more than anything. He's my best friend, but butterflies and all of that, of course I got them meeting him, but I was looking for compatibility too. Someone I could share hobbies, and common interest with if that makes sense." I guess I understand. She had passion, and love for my father but no similarities they could share.
"So dad was in the moment, and with Ron you put more thought into?"
"You could say that." she answers, and I just look at her, and in that moment I understand her. Love wasn't enough for her. It wasn't that she fell out of love with my father, but she couldn't have a life she could fully enjoy with him.
"Do you think Aiden is my Jared?" I ask her.
"Oh, there's no telling, but if he is then you are one lucky girl! But listen, you two are not your father and I." she answers, stroking my hair, and I'm filled with a sudden warmth from her. She doesn't regret my father, which means she doesn't regret Conner and I. I always thought she did. It warms my heart to know she truly did love us. While we're on the subject of dad I decide to go ahead and ask the question that everyone is wondering.
"Mom, why don't you like Lorene?" I ask.
"Well that's a random question." she states, and I just stare at her waiting on an answer. "I think it's something you should discuss with your father." she says, and I can't comprehend what she's saying.
Baffled by her response, I ask. "Why?"
"You're father and I have been through a lot, even after we chose to separate. We're finally in a good place, and I don't want to taint it by bringing up the past. I don't feel like it's my place, nor time to tell you why I don't like her, but I will admit to you because I'm not a liar... I do not like her, and it will take me some time to accept her." her answer is flat, and straight forward. I'm starting to get a feeling that there was more to the Lorene story prior to my mother being completely out of the picture.
My stomach drops, and we both sit silent for a moment, before I irrefutably decide to change the subject.
"So should we go to a sports bar or something and eat while watching Con's game?" I ask.
"Sounds like a good plan honey." she answers, pushing her chair out to stand up.
"And you could slip me some alcohol in my drink while the waiter isn't looking?" I joke, and she laughs loudly.
"Nice try!" and she continues to laugh walking into her bedroom. I quickly finish my breakfast, and go into my bedroom to change. Before I do I text Aiden and Conner both wishing them good luck today.
Mom takes me to a fancy bar and grill. The tables are large, and all the booth tables have beer drafts built in the middle of them, and the booth seats circle the table. The walls are painted with chalkboard paint, and there are thousands of signatures, and pictures taped up. I'll have to try this place out once I'm of age. Mom asks for a table facing the biggest TV that's playing Conner's game.
"My baby is on the team." she brags to the host of the restaurant. I hate when she does things like that.
"Oh my gosh, this TV is gigantic. We'll be sure to see him sitting on the bench watching this thing." I snort at my joke, and she nubs me.
"Mora Ann!" and she gives a small smirk. She thought my joke was funny.
"What? Someone had to say it." I laugh from my stomach, and she can't help but join in.
"He's just a freshman. His time is coming." she admits, and it is true. My brother has always been one that stands out.
"Dad said he's debating quitting the team." Mom stops sipping her drink in shock.
"When did he say that?" she demands. Crap. She doesn't know.
"A couple days ago." I admit.
"Why?" Her question is sharp, but filled with a little annoyance.
"I'm not sure. He said it's harder than he thought it would be. He's going to stay in the same school though, dad will just help him pay for it if he goes that route."
My mom looks hurt. "I'm going to talk to him tonight about it."
"Can you wait until I'm in bed or something? I don't want him mad that I said something. I thought you knew."
"Well I didn't, but I'll wait to talk to him after you leave."
"Thank you."
A large pizza, small cheese stick, and five beers later my mom is lit, and my voice is raspy from screaming at the game. Mom talked and partied with all the fans, and I just sat back to witness it all. Conner is just like her. Sometimes I wish I got her outgoing personality but instead I'm more like my dad; an introvert full of anxiety, and shyness.
"Mom, you're drunk." I say as she's paying for the food.
"No Mora, I'm happy. Your brother's team is doing so well this year. I like this new coach a lot! It's our year. I can feel it."
"Yeah, I bet you can feel a lot right now." I joke, and she ignores me.
"What do you want to do next?" she asks.
"We can just go back home. I can go down to the beach and read some if you want to nap."
"Are you sure honey?" she asks, and honestly a good book by the beach sounds perfect.
"Oh yeah. Do you have any good new ones that I haven't read yet?" I ask her.
"Yes. You know it!" she chuckles, and I grab her hand as we walk outside to leave.
I change into my gray hoodie, and joggers once we make it back, and grab a romcom novel mom is sure I'll be pleased with. I sit down on one of my moms beach chairs with the umbrella and put on headphones while I read. The sun is high today, and the autumn breeze feels good on my face. I read for a few hours, when I hear my name from across the sands. I look up the hill, and it's Conner and Aiden walking down together. It's good to see Conner warming up to him.
"Conner!" I jump up and run to hug him. "Good game today!" I screech in his ears.
"Geez Mora, could you scream in my ear any louder."
"Sorry." I laugh, and look over at Aiden. "Hey, when did you get here?" I wrap myself into his hug, and he holds me tightly.
"About thirty minutes ago. I saw Conner come in when I was coming down here and chose to wait on him."
"That was nice." I kiss him on his cheek, and then grab Conner's hand too dragging them to the chairs.
"My two favorite guys." I say.
"Oh how sweet." Conner sarcastically says, and I just push him into the sand. A laugh comes from deep within his belly, and Aiden just smiles in response. I'm not sure if he's really seen my brother and I hangout one on one before. His comfort around my brother isn't the same as my mother. I'm sure Josh has something to do with it. It was Aiden's best friend that cheated with Scarlett.
"So how did it go today?" I ask Aiden about the tryouts. Conner is sitting on the neighboring chair, and I'm sitting between Aiden's legs, looking up at him from behind.
"I think it went okay. The competition was tough, but I think I held my own pretty well. I hope anyway."
"Bro, I've seen you play ball. They would be stupid to not let you on." my brother chimes in, and I can feel Aiden's body loosen up.
"Man, I hope so. If I come all the way here I want to make sure I have a good reason." He admits, and it stings a little. He's not coming for me, but baseball. I look at Conner, and I'm uncertain if he caught it too, but he doesn't act like it.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Conner responds, and I can't help but let my feelings spill out with Conner right there.
"So baseball is the only good reason?" I look at Aiden, and he smiles bright at me.
"No way." he answers, and Conner can tell this conversation is too personal for him, so he gets up.
"I'm going to grab us some cokes."
"Cool. Thanks." Aiden say's, and when he walks away I turn my body around to face Aiden. He grabs my face, looking into my eyes. "Mora, I should have worded that differently. I never considered A&M until you came along. I need a good reason to go so far from my mom. I love you, and I'm not saying we won't last but I don't want to go and unforeseen circumstances make me regret leaving home. You are my primary reason, but I need another good reason or I'm just that crazy guy who followed a girl to college..." He pauses for a moment, and his eyes deepen as he looks at me. "You could break my heart Mora."
I lift one of my hands and softly hold his cheek. He leans into my touch. "I won't break your heart Aiden." I could never hurt him. I love him too much. He leans in to kiss the tip of my nose.
"I love you Mora, but no one knows the future. I just want to be realistic." He hugs my neck, and I just lay there in his arms until Conner is back. I understand what he's saying. If I was to follow him hours away to a college and he just dumps me, and we ended up breaking up I could regret it. He doesn't want any regrets.
"So when do you find out about tryouts?" Conner asks as he sits back down, drinks in hand.
"They said we should receive the email late next week or the following."
"Wow! That's fast." I admit. So he'll find out before I do.
"Yeah. It's definitely intimidating." I want to ask him what will happen if he doesn't make it, but I'm not prepared for the answer yet, so I decide to hold off right now. I hope he makes it. I hope that I make it.
"So are you guys celebrating Halloween next weekend?" Conner asks us. I haven't put much thought into it.
"There's supposed to be some rave in Houston that Danny's older brother told us about." Aiden say's. I had no idea. I've never been to a rave.
"Don't raves have drugs?" I ask.
"Nah. Not all of them." Conner chimes in.
"This one doesn't. I asked him. There's no way I would take you to one if it did."
Conner casually looks over at us after taking a large gulp of his drink. "That sounds like fun. Is Scarlett going with you?" he asks, and I'm surprised he's bringing her up with Aiden here.
"I don't know. I just found out about it."
"She told me you two are on good terms again. I'm happy to hear that." Conner say's, and I can't believe he's still talking to her.
"Con, I didn't realize you two were still talking." Aiden's body tenses again. He's uncomfortable with this conversation. I can tell when he sets his eyes towards the ocean instead of us.
"Yeah. Not often, but every few days we check in with each other. We were together a long time. It's difficult to go long periods of time without talking to her."
"You need to be careful." I lecture him.
"I know. I am."
Suddenly Aiden pipes up, and now my body tenses up. "Conner, I know that I wasn't involved, but I want to apologize on Josh's behalf. I told him what he did was bullshit, and if I would have known..." he pauses and doesn't know what to say.
"Bro, shit happens. Like you said, it's not your fault and you shouldn't say sorry for him. He should grow a pair and apologize to me." My mouth drops open. I can't believe my brother just said that. "We're just best friends with assholes." Conner says in reference to Ross.
"Ain't that the truth." Aiden laughs with Conner, and IÂ can't help but release a large breath of air. That went better than I thought.
"On another note, I brought a frisbee down!" I sing, and then all three of us are laughing together. I chunk it at Conner and for the next hour the guys throw it while I continue to read.
Mom cooks steak, and I make a salad for dinner.
"Deb, I'll be honest. I haven't had a good home cooked meal in a long time." Aiden is in the dining room helping Conner set the table.
"Why is that?" Mom asks, looking at Aiden with concern.
"My mom can't cook. She gave up years ago. We eat a lot of fast food, sandwiches, and frozen dinners. When we do eat home cooked meals it's because I've pinterested recipes." He has pinterest. Conner laughs loudly at him, but I can't help but admire him. I put the tomato I'm cutting down and go over to kiss his cheek.
"You're seriously the sexiest guy ever." I say to him, and for the first time ever I see him blush. Conner continues to laugh so I push him as I make my way back into the kitchen.
"Aiden honey that's great. A man that cooks is a man to my heart." She speaks the truth.
Aiden laughs awkwardly in response. "Thanks ladies." Conner just snorts while throwing his body onto the sofa turning on a video game for him and Aiden. All night long we hangout taking turns on the games, and mom blares old rock music the entire night.
The next morning comes quickly. I'm not ready to leave yet. I wake up before the boys this time, and mom is drinking coffee in the kitchen away from the living area. Conner is passed out on a blow up mattress, and Aiden is tucked in tightly on the sofa. I've never seen him sleep. He's cute, and all his innocence shines while he's sleeping.
"Mom, I had so much fun yesterday." I whisper to her trying not to wake up the guys.
"Me too. We need to do this more often." she says, and without thinking I hug her, and I can tell she wasn't expecting it. It takes her a second to hug me back.
"I love you honey." she says.
"I love you." I say back, and Conner tip toes into the kitchen.
"Am I dreaming?" he says rubbing his eyes. I pick up a donut hole from the box and throw it at him.
"Now kids what did I say about throwing food at each other." she voices, and we both laugh.
"Sorry mom."
"Mora, Aiden is pretty cool. I was wrong about him." he admits.
"Thanks bub." I say, and a moment later Aiden is awake.
"Good morning." he says, and mom responds first.
"Good morning honey. Did you sleep okay?"
"Yes. Perfect. Thank you." mom nods, then asks "What time are you two heading out?"
"I guess in about an hour or so. Tomorrow we have to go back to school." I say, and Aiden doesn't say anything. He's digging into the donut box.
After breakfast we get ready to leave. Conner comes to my room while I pack my bags.
"I wish you could stay longer." he sits down on the bed.
"I know. I actually had a really fun time yesterday. I had fun with mom too."
"It's about time." he admits.
"I asked her about Lorene." I state, and he looks at me bewildered. "She doesn't like her like we thought, and when I asked why she said I needed to ask dad why..." I say, and he looks as confused as I felt yesterday. "Do you think dad cheated on her?" I ask, and Conner rubs the back of his bed head before responding.
"God, I hope not. Why else would she not like Lorene. Everyone likes Lorene." he says, and it's true. Everyone does. She's the sweetest lady ever.
"I'm going to ask him when I get home." I say.
"I don't think you should do that." Conner stands up to look at me directly.
"Why not?"
"Because Mora, it's gone and passed. Let's just leave the past in the past. Everyone is finally in a good place. Does it really matter? Dad is happy, and mom's been happy for a long time now. Let's not bring up old scars." his answer makes sense, but I don't think I have the control to not ask. I would always wonder. He can tell I'm still thinking about it. "Listen Mora, somethings need to be put to rest, and this is one of them. If he did, or if he didn't... it's not our business."
"Why isn't it? We're their kids." I spit.
"So, that doesn't mean they owe us any explanation. They are adults, and it was their relationship, not ours. You should get that now that you're in your own relationship." he huffs, and I go to respond, but he cuts me off. "Anyway, on another subject. I hope you get into the school here. It's seriously been a rough year without my best friend." he says, and my mood softens.
"I thought Ross was your best friend." I tease him.
"No one would ever take your place Mora. You and I, thick and thin." he says, and we hug before he grabs my bag to leave the bedroom.
"Ready to go?" Aiden is waiting on us.
"Yes." I answer, and Conner helps Aiden with our luggage.
I go to hug mom before leaving. "Thanks for coming. I love you, and please text me once you make it home."
"Yes ma'am." I answer, and she goes to hug Aiden.
"Take good care of my baby." she pats his back.
"Yes ma'am." he hugs her tightly, and once we make it to his jeep, Conner tightly hugs me.
"See you at Christmas?" he asks.
"What about Thanksgiving?"
"Football practice."
"Oh." My face drops in sadness. I'll have to come down before then to see him. That's too long.
"I know, it sucks." he admits. "I'll face time you sometime next week though." he says, and I agree. "Aiden, it was good hanging out with ya. Good luck again on the tryouts, and maybe I'll see you during the holidays." he goes in to give him a hug.
"Yeah man. I'm sure to see you then. Congrats on the big win yesterday."
"Thanks bro. Hey, y'all be safe." he says, and I just wave as we pull out to leave.