Chapter Twelve: Mates

“You know, we haven’t talked to Benjamin since we woke up in the hospital,” Leah reminds me.

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the device, “Should I? It wouldn’t be weird calling him out of the blue?”

She scoffs, “Annie, you are his mate. Believe me, he wants to hear from you. Whether you want to admit it or not, you kind of want to talk to him, too.”

I roll my eyes, “I do or the bond does?”

“Look, I don’t blame you for being guarded when it comes to Benjamin. How many times have I wanted to rip his throat out?” she chuckles.

I smile, “More times than I can count, honestly.”

“I may still do it,” she snickers. “Even so, I really want to give him and Felix a chance. Benjamin is trying, and I think we will be able to witness that even more once we return home.”

I sigh, “For you, I’ll try.”

Not giving myself too much time to dwell, I hit his number, making a mental note to save it later. He picks up after the first ring.

“Annie? Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” his worried voice speaks into my ear.

The sound causes my heart to constrict, wanting nothing more than to reach through the phone and comfort him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong. I shouldn't have called you out of the blue like that. I can call back later,” I stumble out, my nerves getting the better of me.

“NO! I...uh, mean no. Don’t go. And please, don’t apologize. I should be the one saying sorry. You have never called me before, so I immediately assumed the worst,” Benjamin admits.

I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear as I continue to walk, “It’s fine. I probably would have reacted the same way. Um…do you have a second to talk?”

“Of course, Annie,” he replies sweetly as I hear him set his pen down, “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing really in particular. I just realized we hadn’t talked since I woke up in the hospital. I wanted to check in, I guess?” I explain, sounding a little unsure.

I can practically hear his smile through the phone, “Well, I’m glad you did. It’s comforting to both Felix and I. We wanted to check on you sooner, but I didn’t want to overstep.”

“How would that be overstepping?” I ask curiously.

He sighs, “Well, I was worried if I called, you would be guilted into talking to me, whether by Leah, the bond, or your need to make everyone else happy. I wanted you to call because you wanted to talk, not because you felt like you had to.”

I raise an eyebrow, “That’s…considerate.”

“The last thing I want to do is make this harder than it already is,” he says sincerely.

I shake my head in disbelief, “I don’t get you. Just when I think I finally have you pinned down, you say and do things that go against it. You have done it to me our entire lives, leaving me not knowing where I stand.”

“I know and I’m sorry. Believe me when I say I’m not the same person I was,” he whispers.

I let out a small chuckle, “Well, of course not. The bond changes things.”

“No. The bond didn’t change me. I’ve been working on myself since I left all those months ago. I…had planned on trying to fix things with you when I got back. I wanted to at least try to earn some type of mutual respect back, maybe become friends over time. It was the most I could hope for since you were already…” he trails off.

“Already what?” I press.

“Since you were already in love with Jonathan. I knew any chance I had was lost long ago, so I dove into my Alpha duties, tried to distract myself from it. Pack after pack, I was constantly meeting new people and was praying to the Moon Goddess that my Luna was here somewhere. I had resigned myself to ruling alone on the drive back. Obviously, things took a turn. Never would I have imagined the one I was trying to forget was the one I was destined to,” he sighs.

“I…I don’t understand,” I fumble out.

“Shit…I didn’t mean to unload like this. I wanted to wait until you got home to have this conversation,” I hear him mumble to himself.

My heart begins to race at what he’s implying. Still being in denial, I ask, “What are you saying?”

There’s a momentary silence before I hear him take a deep breath, “I have been in love with you a long time, Annabeth.”

I come to a complete stop, staring straight ahead, “That’s not funny, Benjamin.”

“I’m serious. I swear it. I’m not lying or trying to manipulate you,” his voice pleads for me to believe him.

My voice quivers, “You don’t…you never…That doesn’t make any sense. You have hated me, for whatever reason, our entire lives. You constantly made sure I knew that, even after we… even though you knew I...”

“No, Annie. I didn’t hate you. I never did. It was a front. Believe me when I say I knew you felt the same. That…night on the roof said it all,” he breathes, voice slightly shaking.

I let out a half-hearted laugh, “I thought you would have forgotten that, since you were so determined to back then.”

His voice drops low, “I could never forget a kiss with you, especially one as consuming as that one was.”

“You know, part of me always wondered what it was you were going to tell me that night. I just assumed I would never know,” I confess.

I hear him take a deep breath, “Maybe one day I will have the courage to tell you.”

Part of me wants to push for more information, but I decide to let it lie. Instead, I ask him something else.

“Did…did you know that was my first kiss?” I question, trying to calm my racing heart.

There’s a brief silence, “No...I uh, didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t think so. It definitely made your rejection hurt even worse,” I whisper.

“Goddess, Annie. I’m so sorry. My fears and insecurities took over. You were, still are so sweet, gentle, and fierce. Such a truly amazing woman. I was so stubborn, rough, and made so many stupid mistakes. There was no way I could ever deserve someone like you. It was only a matter of time before I hurt you again. I couldn’t bear the thought, so I pushed you away. I made you believe I didn’t care, so that maybe you could forget about me and be happy,” he says, voice radiating sadness.

I sigh, rubbing my forehead, “That’s exactly what happened. I started dating Jonathan a couple of months later, trying my damndest to get over you. It worked too well. Yet, this whole time…”

“Yes. Like I said in the voicemail, looking back, idiotic reasons to keep you away when you were my future all along,” he mutters.

“I don’t know what to say,” I confess, my feet starting to move again.

“I don’t expect one conversation to fix anything. In case I haven’t been clear, I am very much letting you take the reins on this. If you want to talk, we talk. You want space, I give you space. You are in control here, Annie. Where this goes and what happens is your decision,” Benjamin says sincerely.

I take a deep breath, “I…appreciate it, but I mean, there’s two of us in this…situation. What you may or may not want should be considered, too.”

“I don’t have anything to figure out, sweetheart. I already know exactly what and who I want,” his voice speaks, deep and low, causing goosebumps across my skin.

“Hot damn, that voice,” Leah growls in my head.

“Down girl,” I fuss, causing her to cackle.

“Ri-right,” I stutter out as I reach the garden gates.

The fighter escorting me gives me a single head nod before turning around to walk back to the pack house.

I hear a soft laugh, “I apologize. I didn’t mean to fluster you, but I won’t deny it’s how I feel. I want you, Annie, in every way. When you return home, I pray to the Goddess that you’ll give me a chance.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, “I suppose we will see. I am still unsure, bond or no bond.”

“I know, and that’s my fault. I will do everything possible to change that,” he says with determination.

“If you say so. Uh...I need to go. Helping out in the garden today,” I force out as I steady my racing heart.

“Of course. Thank you for calling me. It was really good to hear your voice,” he says, a little disappointed.

The bond tightens in my chest, and the words flow out before I can stop them, “I can…call you later if you like. Maybe after I have dinner, if you have time.”

I can practically feel the happiness radiating through the phone when he says, “I would like that very much.”

“Okay. Oh, also, I should tell you. Jonathan is here. He arrived about thirty minutes ago with several of my Dad’s fighters,” I groan frustratedly.

“I know. Dad told me right before you called. I’m assuming he’s getting an earful right now,” he says surprisingly calmly.

“From both your Dad and Uncle Marc. He got it from me, too. I can’t believe he’d do something crazy like this,” I scoff, shaking my head.

He snickers, “Uh, Annie? Isn’t that calling the kettle black?”

The tease shocks me a little, but I quip back, “No! Of course not. That’s totally different.”

“Okay, I’ll humor you. Exactly how is it different?” he asks, trying to hold back a laugh.

“I was being a good pack member and left before I could be told no, so no rules were broken. He straight up left when he wasn’t suppose to,” I rationalize.

“I don’t see the distinction,” he teases.

“Well, it’s there,” I chuckle, “plain as day.”

He laughs out loud, and I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face at the sound.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” he relents. “So, I assume you guys talked some.”

“A little,” I admit. “Mostly about how he was acting like an idiot, and you were unbothered. I’m surprised that you didn’t kick his ass, honestly.”

He lets out a small chuckle, “Oh, trust me, I wanted to wring his neck.”

I walk through the gate, heading towards Hope who is picking green beans. The sound of my steps causes her to look up. She smiles, then tilts her head curiously. I mouth “Benjamin” at her and her eyes light up while I get an eyebrow waggle.

I shake my head at her while speaking to him, “Well, I’m glad you showed restraint Mr. Alpha. Might have caused some issues.”

“What? Me incapacitating one of Dad’s best fighters? I don’t see how that would have been an issue,” he says sarcastically. “And I’m not Alpha yet. Isn’t that what a certain sassy, beautiful she-wolf says when the dreaded L word is mentioned?”

I roll my eyes, “Who’s the delusional one now? And you leave me and my fear of responsibilities out of this topic of conversation.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he acts all innocently.

“Uh huh. I can see the blinding halo from here,” I scoff as Hope silently laughs to herself.

He laughs then lets out a groan, “Well, I should get back to this awful paperwork. Dad will kill me if I stall anymore. I’ll…speak with you later, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll call after dinner,” I promise him, causing Hope to pretend to pass out.

“Good. I shall talk to you then,” he says, obviously not wanting to hang up.

I softly smile at his neediness, “Talk to you then. Goodbye, Benjamin.”

“I’m sorry, who?” I hear him say, knowing there’s a smirk on his face.

It takes me a second, but then I realize, “My apologies. Goodbye, Ben.”

He lets out a small chuckle, “Goodbye, Annie.”

Pulling the phone away, I end the call and look down at Hope, “Not a word, Hope.”

She lets out a large laugh and throws her hands up defensively, “I wasn’t!”

“Uh huh. Uncle Marc said you needed help?” I ask as I kneel down next to her.

She rolls her eyes, “Not really, but I guess he just wanted an excuse to get you out of his office. He is not impressed with Jonathan right now.”

I fold my arms, “None of us are.”

“Well since you’re already here, I’ll go ahead and pick some cucumbers, too,” she says, reaching for some of the empty baskets.

“Sure thing,” I grab one and begin picking alongside her.

I see her hesitate and look at me curiously, “Did you change your perfume?”

Shaking my head, I reach over to grab a ripe cucumber hiding beneath the vines, “No. It’s the same stuff I always wear.”

“Huh,” she mumbles. “Smells different to me. Must be me imagining things.” She shrugs her shoulders and gets back to picking.

A couple of minutes pass and I can feel her practically dying to bombard me with questions. Mentally preparing myself, I turn to her, “Oh fine! Just ask, Hope.”

“Who called who!? What did you talk about!? You’re gonna call him back!? TELL ME EVERYTHING!” she squeals at me.

Immediately, I regret this decision, but I take a deep breath and give her the rundown. I tell her everything, both conversations with Jonathan and Benjamin. She listens to every word, almost too excitedly.

“What are you going to do?” she asks, standing up with her full baskets.

I follow suit, grabbing mine, “That’s a great question. I’ll let you know when I figure it out. Any ideas would be appreciated.”

We begin walking towards the gate when she looks at me with a smirk, “You could all marry each other.”

I give her a look, “Ha ha. You’re hilarious. I’m sure Jonathan’s mate would love that. All four of us living together in awkward happiness.”

“You did say any ideas,” Hope jokes as we walk through the gate and onto the dirt path.

“Okay, fine. Good ideas!” I say as I bump her with my hip.

She bumps me back, “Well, be more specific next time. Really, though. What are you thinking?”

I roll my eyes as we continue to walk, “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m so confused. It’ll be even more confusing once I get home and the bond solidifies.”

Hope sighs, nodding in understanding, “I think anyone would be in your situation. Does that mean that you are giving Benjamin a chance if you’re letting the bond go into full effect?”

“You and I both know once I return, I won’t be able to keep him away. Not that I would want to do that to Leah and Felix anyways. If I’m going to try, then I need to be all in. I may still end up rejecting him, but for Leah, I’ll try,” I shrug.

“Thanks Annie, but this is about the both of us,” Leah reminds me. “This needs to be what we both want, no matter how much I may want Felix.”

“I hope you are keeping in mind what you want, too,” Hope states as we approach the pack house.

I smile, “That’s what Leah just said. I know, and I am, but she has done so much for me that I have to give this a chance.”

“And if you find it is what you want?” Hope asks curiously.

“Then, I’ll go for it and hope that Jonathan will find happiness with his mate. If it doesn’t, then I’ll wait until Jonathan has his chance. If it doesn’t work, then we will be chosen mates like we planned. If it works out, which I have a feeling it probably will, I’ll be alone,” I respond, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

“Are you okay?” she gently probes.

I let out a sigh, “No matter what I choose, someone gets hurt. I care so much for Jonathan. I love him, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. I was in love with Benjamin, and a part of me will always care, no matter how he treated me. He was my first love. I should want to get revenge and break his heart like he did mine, but I don’t.”

She offers me a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry. This is too much for anyone to handle, and you’re the last person who deserves it.”

Returning a sad smile, I stop a few feet from the porch steps before gesturing towards the door, “I’ll be alright. I always am. Anyway, do you want to bring all of this to the kitchen?”

She nods, while also looking around, “There’s that smell again.”

Sniffing the air, I follow her gaze, “I don’t smell anything, Hope.”

“Whatever it is, it’s getting stronger. It’s the most amazing thing I have ever smelled. It’s like an oak, woodsy smell. Goddess,” she practically moans.

My eyes meet hers, “Hope! Your mate!”

Her eyes widen, “Wha…what? There’s no way. I’ve met everyone here since turning nineteen. No one here is, and there’s no one visiting right now.”

“Maybe it’s someone your Dad forgot to tell you about!” I exclaim.

“Oh god, I-I don’t know if I’m ready. Will I be good enough for them?” she rambles.

“Hey now, relax. You are an amazing person! They will be lucky to have you!” I smile at her, heading for the stairs.

I can hear her panic a little, “Annie, I don’t know about this! I don’t know if-”

The sound of her baskets hitting the hard ground hits my ears.

I whip my head back around, “Hope?! What’s wrong??”

She’s frozen, staring past me. I quickly place my baskets down and run up to her. Waving my hands in front of her face and saying her name does nothing. Confused, I turn around.

At the top of the stairs is Jonathan, who is also staring down at Hope wide-eyed.

I take a couple of steps away from her and about to call out to him, when it hits me.

“Oh no…” I hear Leah whisper, but I don’t respond.

The tension in the air is thick as they stare each other down. The scene that I had feared since discovering he wasn’t my mate is playing out right in front of my eyes. My head bounces in between them as I try to force my tears back. They slowly approach each other, gazes locked, acting as if they are the only two in the world.

Stopping directly in front of one another they then, at the same time, say the word I dreaded hearing him say to anyone but me.

“Mate.”