Chapter Thirteen: Acceptance

“Annie?” Leah calls out to me, but I barely hear her.

My mind is spinning, trying so desperately to comprehend what just happened. I shake my head to clear it before turning on my heels and walking to our baskets. Without a word, I pick all of them up and head for the stairs.

“Oh, Goddess. It’s you? You’re…my mate?” I hear Hope gasp in disbelief from behind me.

“Yeah, I am, and you are mine,” Jonathan whispers.

My heart drops at the happiness laced in his tone as I force myself to keep walking.

“Sunshine, are you okay?” Uncle Marc asks from top of the stairs, just having come outside after his conversation with Jonathan and Alpha Xavier.

I take the steps two at a time, shaking my head as I pass him. He reaches out to grab my arm, “What is happening?”

I stop and try to suck up all the tears threatening to spill. He takes the baskets from me and orders a nearby fighter to bring them to the kitchen. When he turns back to me, I simply point behind without looking. His gaze moves and I watch as his eyes become saucers. His head whips back to me, speechless. I give a watery smile before walking away. I don’t make it far when I hear my name.

“Annie, stop!” Hope calls.

I don’t, heading immediately for the staircase that leads to the bedrooms. Harry happens to be coming down as I reach them.

His eyebrows furrow in concern, “Whoa, whoa. Annie, what’s wrong?”

I shake my head at him as I walk past. A hand reaches out and grabs mine, stopping me in my tracks. I turn to tell him I’m fine when I see that it’s not Harry who grabbed me.

“Annie, please. Wait,” Hope begs, tears streaming down her face.

Harry glances between us with concern etched across his features. Just then, Jonathan and Uncle Marc come running around the corner. I quickly look away, not wanting anyone to see my face right now.

“Goddess, Annie. I…” Jonathan’s voice dies as he glances between me and Hope.

I see it click in Harry’s mind as he whispers, “Oh no.”

I can feel the tears about to fall, so I desperately try to leave. “Let me go, Hope,” I whisper.

“No, Annie! Please. We need to talk about this,” she pleads, tightening her grip on my hand.

I sniffle and shake my head, “There’s nothing to discuss. It is what it is. It’s done.”

“She’s right, Annie-” Jonathan starts, but I interrupt him.

“Do you remember what I said the night of the party?” I question him.

At this moment, Aunt Crystal rounds the corner, face mixed with happiness and sadness. Uncle Marc must have mind-linked her. I can see the confliction in her eyes, wanting to congratulate her daughter but also wanting to comfort me.

Jonathan’s voice breaks, “Yes, I do.”

My voice quivers as I finally meet his eyes, “I was right. She’s an angel, someone worth moving on for. There is no “we’ll give the bond a shot and see” anymore. This isn’t going to fail, because you two are perfect for each other. Your happiness is right here.”

I attempt to pull away, but Hope doesn’t let me, “Annie, I’m so sorry. All I have done since you got here is get you hurt. First with the rogues, and now with this. I don’t want to do this to you. I can back away, let you guys go through with your plan. I can-”

Jonathan’s eyes flash black, signaling Seth is close, as he growls in protest, “Hope…”

“Don’t ‘Hope’ me!” she snaps at him, “You guys said two years. I can wait, give you guys a chance.”

I cup her face with my free hand and manage a reassuring smile as I shake my head, “No, Hope. No. That man is your life, your future now. You need each other. Seth and Susie do, too. Everything we talked about and agreed to no longer matters. I’m the one who will back away.”

She starts crying harder, causing Jonathan to take an unconscious step towards her in worry, “I hate this! I don’t want to be the one to take him from you.”

Pulling my other hand from hers, I cup her other cheek and wipe the tears away, “Shhhh. You aren’t taking him from me, because he was yours to begin with. He was made for you. If I was going to let this dream go, I’d rather it be for you, because I know you are going to take care of each other. You are going to love each other wholeheartedly and create a beautiful life together.”

Taking a couple of steps back, I meet Jonathan’s gaze. He walks closer to us, tears silently rolling down his cheeks, “Annie, I am so sorry. I came to bring you home and now…”

I offer a sad smile, “I know. This was always a possibility and something out of our control, as much as I may have tried to control it. I do have to ask. Is it true what they say? Is there nothing quite like it?”

He smiles and nods, “It’s all-consuming, world changing. It’s like opening your eyes for the first time. Your center of gravity changes, and all you can think is that you want to be at their side. I know you experience a little bit with Benjamin now, but once you two lock eyes, you will understand what I mean.”

I take a deep breath, my chest mixed with pain and the fear of what’s to come, “Then you know there’s nothing to apologize for. I was just a stepping stone that was leading you to her. I had to leave to bring you here, once she turned nineteen. It’s what was planned. This is your path. She’s going to make you happy and love you with everything she has, and I fully expect you to do the same.”

He comes closer, and I see in his face he wants to hug me, but I can’t allow it. It’s taking everything in me to not break down. Turning on my heels, I take two stairs at a time, reaching my room quickly. Voices call after me, but they don’t follow. They know I need time.

Entering my room, I shut the door and lock it. Letting the tears finally fall, I strip down and walk into the bathroom. Leah is pacing in nervousness and pain in the back of my mind, but neither one of us speaks yet. Turning the shower on full blast and as hot as I can stand it, I get under the stream and hope that somehow it will wash all of these emotions away.

Heartache. Fear. Anger. Uncertainty.

I stand there until the water runs cold, twisting the nozzle to turn the shower off. Stepping out, I reach for my towel and silently dry myself off. I catch my reflection in the mirror and just stare, looking at my bloodshot eyes that have no more tears to shed.

“Annie?” Leah gently probes, her voice soft with a hint of sadness.

“Yeah?” I answer almost defeatedly.

I feel her come close, my eyes flashing black.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say to fix this,” she whispers.

Walking out the bathroom, I shrug, “There’s nothing you can say to fix it. It’s done. My life, my future, with Jonathan is done.”

“Did you want to choose him?” she asks.

“I don’t know, but now the choice is gone. It’s Hope, Leah. Out of all the she-wolves in the world, his mate is Hope. If it was a stranger, maybe I could consider being selfish like everyone wants me to be every now and again, but I can’t. You and I both know those two will click, and they will ride off into the sunset living happily ever after,” I sigh as I get dressed, throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

She lays down, still lingering at the surface, “At least we didn’t bolt this time.”

I lightly chuckle as I curl in the center of my bed, “True.”

“Well, since I can’t fix it, why don’t we just lay here in each other’s company?” she suggests, yawning.

“You mean nap?” I smile.

She nods, curling into a ball, “That always makes everything better."

Before I can agree, my phone starts ringing. In my daze, I don’t even remember throwing it onto my bed. Reaching under myself, I pick up the device to see who’s calling. My eyes soften at the name, causing me to answer without hesitation.

“Hey, big bro,” I greet.

“Hey, little sis. I thought you could use some support right now,” Michael responds sympathetically.

I sigh, hugging a pillow to my chest, “Who called? Hope? Uncle Marc?”

“Jonathan, actually. He gave me the short version of what happened, said you aren’t talking to anyone right now and that you needed me. So, you know me. Big brother to the rescue,” he explains.

I chuckle, “I know, Mr. Fix It. I’m okay. Really. They belong together. I just need some time to process.”

“What happened to the two year plan? Is that still not a thing?” he questions.

“What? You don’t want me with Benjamin?” I tease.

I hear him snicker, “The official statement is that I want my Alpha to be happy and my pack to thrive with our amazingly strong and kickass Luna. The unofficial, brother statement is that I want to kick him in the family jewels and beat the shit out of him after everything he has done.”

“Get in line,” Leah grumbles, causing me to laugh out loud.

“What?” he asks.

“Leah said to get in line,” I snort.

I can hear the smile through the phone, “That’s my girl. Seriously, though. Didn’t you guys agree on a time frame?”

I roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling, “Yeah, we did, but that was before we knew it was Hope. Michael, I can’t do that to her. I can’t hurt her like that.”

“I understand. I just wanted to see where your head was at,” he states.

I take a moment and a deep breath before I whisper, “It’s time to let him go.”

“Yeah,” he replies sadly, “it is.”

I close my eyes and swallow, “I could feel us drifting, but I wasn’t ready and was grasping at straws.”

He sighs, “It’s because you loved him, and I hate to tell you this, but you always will. The love will change forms just like it did before. Eventually, you two will be able to settle back as best friends. There’s no way he would lose you forever, not that Hope would ever let that happen to begin with.”

“Guess he’ll officially be family now, just not in the way I thought,” I mutter.

“I know,” he replies sympathetically.

“I think it’s time for me to come home,” I declare, opening my eyes again.

There’s a brief pause, “Are you sure?”

I nod to myself, “Yeah. I’ve spent enough time away. I need to get back to my studies and make up with everyone for leaving.”

“And Benjamin?” he inquires.

I swallow nervously, “Still figuring that one out, but yeah, I guess it’s time to face him and see what happens. What do I have to lose at this point? I may still end up rejecting him and choose to be alone, but there’s no one stopping me anymore. I’m pretty sure I’m not stopping Jonathan right now.”

Michael sighs and changes the subject, “When are you thinking of coming back?”

“I’m not sure,” I shrug, “but sometime soon. Maybe within the next couple of weeks.”

“Alright. Do you want me to come? I could run there and ride back with you,” he offers.

I smile, “That’s sweet of you, but no. That’s a long way to run, and honestly, after everything that has happened, the silence will be nice. I’m sure Uncle Marc will have our fighters escort me back anyways.”

“Fair enough, but if you change your mind, I’ll be here,” he reminds me.

“I know, Michael,” I say, my heart feeling a little lighter. “I know we don’t say it as often as we should, but you know I love you, right?”

I can hear the smile in his voice, “Of course I do. I love you, too.”

“Just checking,” I smirk.

He chuckles before getting serious, “Everything’s going to work out, Annie. You’ll see, and you’ll have your family to help you get through it.”

“I hope so,” I sigh.

“Hey, some of us are still over here waiting on our mates, you know,” he teases.

I laugh, “You can’t be serious for more than a minute at a time, can you?”

He snickers, “Nope. Would ruin my image.”

“Uh huh,” I chuckle, “Alright, I’m going to let you go. Might take a nap before dinner. Also, tell Mom and Dad I love them, and I’ll be home soon.”

“You got it. You know where I’m at if you need me,” he says sincerely.

“I do,” I reassure him as I snugly under the covers. “Bye, big bro.”

“Bye, little sis,” he mutters before hanging up.

I gently set the phone down on my end table and close my eyes. The events of the day finally catch up with me, and I give into the darkness.

*Some time later*

My eyes slowly open as light from the setting sun peeks through my window. I quickly sit up, grabbing my phone.

“Shoot. I didn’t mean to sleep this long,” I mumble.

“It’s apparent you needed it,” Leah speaks up, groggy herself. “It was only a few hours.”

I laugh, “Leah, it was like four hours.”

She smirks, “Nobody is going to care. Hell, sleep for four more!”

Opening the device, I see I have a text message from about an hour ago. I click on the app and sigh, “Well, one might.”

Hey, Annie. Just wanted you to know I’m in the office working on paperwork and can talk whenever you’re ready. Of course, assuming you still want to. Just let me know.

“That’s kind of cute. He wants to talk to you again so badly, doesn’t he?” she chuckles.

I bite my lip, forcing down the sadness I’m still feeling over Jonathan, and respond to him.

Hey. Yeah, we can still talk. I actually just woke up from a nap. Today was eventful to say the least. Let me get some food, and I’ll give you a call.

It doesn’t take two seconds before he responds.

Do you want to talk about it?

I sigh, answering honestly.

I don’t know. Maybe. Do you know?

There’s a pause before he responds.

Yes. I took a break from the paperwork and went on patrol with Michael when Jonathan called. I left so you two could talk.

Before I can respond, I get another message.

I know this is a complicated situation, but I also know you are hurting right now and the thought kills me. You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, but I’m here to listen.

I smile softly to myself.

Thanks, Ben. I really appreciate that. I’ll call you in a few minutes, okay?

He quickly answers.

Of course, sweetheart. Take your time. No rush.

My stomach rumbles, signaling just how hungry I am, considering I missed lunch. As much as I don’t want to see anyone right now, I need food. I quietly make my way down the stairs towards the kitchen. I can hear the cooks hustling around preparing for dinner. Normally, the Alpha, his Betas, and their families dine together in the dining room, but I don’t plan on attending tonight. I don’t think I can stomach seeing Jonathan sit next to Hope just yet.

Pushing the door open, I poke my head in. Dixie, the head chief, glances up and smiles at me.

“Hey, Annie. Need something, honey?” she greets.

Her smile is so contagious that I can’t help but smile back, “I was wanting to see if I could bring my supper upstairs.”

“Of course! Is everything okay?” she asks as she begins assembling a plate.

Stepping into the room, I lean back against the wall out of the way, “Yeah. I just don’t think I can stomach the dining hall tonight.”

It’s not a lie, just not the whole truth. Her raised eyebrow tells me she knows there’s more to it. Sighing, I decide to give her just a little more information.

“I…also have a phone call tonight with my…future Alpha,” I mumble.

Leah lets out a laugh, “I believe the word you are looking for is ‘Mate,’ Annie.”

“Shush,” I fuss.

“What? Are you going to implode if you say the words ‘Luna’ or ‘Mate?’” she teases.

I ignore her and focus on the chief whose eyes are glowing with glee, “Oh, that’s wonderful dear! I’m glad you’re trying. I hope it goes well.”

“Me too,” I say, offering a small smile as she hands me a plate piled with barbecued chicken, mac and cheese, and banana pudding for dessert. She also hands me a glass of her famous lemonade that we’ve all been drinking since we were kids. “Thanks, Dixie.”

“Sure thing. Let me know how it goes!” she squeals as she goes back to preparing everyone else’s.

I give her a smile and nod before I walk out, heading for the stairs. I silently praise the Goddess as I reach my room without having crossed paths with anyone. Situating myself at my desk, I take a deep breath and hit his number, putting him on speaker phone. Again, he answers after the first ring.

“Hey, Annie,” Benjamin’s voice speaks into my quiet room.

“Hi, Ben,” I reply hesitantly.

“Thanks for calling me back. Did you get some dinner?” he inquires, nervousness evident in his tone.

I take a bite, “Yeah, I did. Dixie made barbeque chicken. It’s really good. Um…did you?”

“Yes, though I wish it was as good as that,” he chuckles. “I just had a sandwich. Didn’t feel like braving the dining hall tonight.”

I smile softly to myself, “Don’t blame you. Crowds have never been fun for either of us, whether it’s family or not.”

“Which is hilarious considering I’m about to be Alpha and deal with nothing but crowds,” he laughs before his voice grows serious. “I guess you’re not eating with your family tonight, either?”

I pause, taking a deep breath, “Uh…no. Not tonight. I just grabbed a plate and came back to my room.”

“Are you okay?” he asks genuinely.

I push my food around the plate as I shrug to myself, “I will be.”

“Is there anything I can do?” he gently presses

“No. I just need time, but this helps,” I answer honestly.

“Then here I’ll be, for however long you wish for me to stay,” he mutters softly.

I smile, “Thank you. Also, I wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to return home.”

I can practically hear him struggling to hold back his excitement when he answers, “Are you certain? Please, don’t feel pressured to come back. I want you to take your time and be sure.”

“I’m sure, Ben. It’s time to come back,” I reassure.

“Alright. When?” he questions.

I think for a second, taking another bite, “Maybe within the next week? I told Michael within the next couple, but I don’t know if I want to wait that long.”

He hums in agreement, “Sounds like a plan. I will let my Dad know and assign those fighters to be with you to escort you back.”

“I kinda figured,” I chuckle.

“I want you to return safely. I don’t need any rogues getting any ideas,” he mutters.

I swallow nervously, “Right. Fair enough.”

“Don’t be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you, no matter what you choose,” he promises. “Speaking of which, how do you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?” I tilt my head curiously at my phone.

I can hear him tapping nervously against his desk as he starts to ramble, “You coming back. Do you want to go back home, and we continue our phone conversations? I know it’s close to the pack house. We could set you up a temporary house on the opposite end of the territory-”

I cut him off, setting down my fork, “Wait. Ben, did you think I would come home and avoid you? That I don’t want to see you?”

There’s a brief pause, “I…I hoped you would want to, but I never want to assume anything. I want you to decide to solidify the bond, not be forced by us accidentally running into each other. In order to do that, I can set you up somewhere else.”

“While I appreciate that, I wouldn’t do that to you. That’s why I left. I could think without the bond interfering, and I have. There’s no way I would come back and torture you or our wolves like that,” I reassure him.

There’s a significantly longer pause before he whispers out, “So you plan to…?”

“Yes. I’m going to give us a chance,” I declare, my heart racing at the declaration.

“Thank you. Thank you so much, Annie. I promise you will not regret this. I will do everything in my power to earn you,” he stutters, letting me hear his emotions. It’s a mix of relief, happiness, nervousness, and maybe a little fear.

“I’m going to hold you to it,” I whisper back, my own emotions showing through.

He then changes the subject, catching me up on the latest pack drama. I guess that’s something I’ll have to get used to if I decide to stay on this path and be with him. The pack’s issues will become my issues, things we will have to fix together. I push the thought from my mind and just focus on the deep voice speaking to me through the device.

We spend the rest of the night talking about anything and everything; our childhood, old memories, laughing and making jokes, and all the things in between. Eventually, the clock says one o’clock in the morning, and I practically nag him to go to sleep with the promise of another call in the morning. With a sweet goodbye, he eventually hangs up and I begin settling into my bed. As my eyes start closing, one final thought crosses my mind.

Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.