Chapter Six: Trying to Process

Guiding me to the couch, Aunt Crystal pulls us down and squeezes my hands in reassurance. Harry takes a seat behind her on the arm of the couch, looking at me with worry. Hope settles on the other side of me, rubbing my back, while Uncle Marc sits in front of me on the coffee table.

“What is wrong, Sunshine?” Uncle Marc asks softly, causing me to meet his gaze.

“You need to talk to someone, Annie,” Leah says as she lays down.

“I know,” I sigh.

“If not Mom and Dad, then Uncle Marc. He’ll listen,” she whispers.

“What is Leah saying?” Uncle Marc asks.

“That I need to talk to someone about this. I know I do but…” I sniffle, wiping a tear away, “Where do I even start?”

“Well, I might have an idea, so I’ll just ask. Is this about turning nineteen?” he presses gently.

I take a shaky breath and nod in response. He closes his eyes momentarily and sighs in disappointment. Everyone else seems to have the same reaction too. Everybody loves my…ex almost as much as me. It’s so weird and painful to think of Jonathan as my ex.

“I’m sorry, my dear. I can’t even imagine what you are feeling right now,” Aunt Crystal whispers as she caresses the back of my head.

“Confusion, betrayal, loss, among other things,” I offer up. “Jonathan was everything I wanted and now after three years, it’s over just like that.”

I feel Hope rest her head on my shoulder, “I hate that your birthday was so sucky. No wonder you left.”

I chuckle humorlessly, “Oh, it gets worse. The Moon Goddess must have a sick sense of humor.”

They all look at me with even more concern. “What do you mean?” Harry questions.

Glancing down to my hands that are still clinging to Aunt Crystal, I mumble out, “Hours after officially ending things with Jonathan, I found…him.”

There’s a moment of silence before Hope breaks it, “Wait. Are you saying you lost Jonathan and found your mate on the same day, which happened to be your birthday?” I look at her sadly and nod. Her arms wrap around me in a tight hug, “Oh, Annie.”

“What did your father have to say about this?” Uncle Marc asks, crossing his arms.

He’s waiting for me to say something horrible so he has reason to call and rip Dad a new one. My mouth opens and shuts, knowing he is not gonna be happy with me.

Harry speaks up, “Well, Dad. This is where it gets complicated.”

Uncle Marc raises an eyebrow at him before he looks back at me, “Complicated how?”

“I…don’t…actually know how Dad feels about it,” I force out.

“I’m not following,” Uncle Marc says, glancing between me and Harry.

“We…haven’t talked about it yet,” I whisper, looking down.

“Oh no, Annie,” Aunt Crystal gasps out, causing Uncle Marc to look at her confused. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Annie?” Uncle Marc pushes when I don’t respond.

“I…smelled him at the party. I hid and left before we made eye contact and solidified the bond. I ran home, wrote a note, packed a bag, and…” I trail off, looking up at him.

His eyes widen, “You left and came here without telling anyone? Not your parents or Alpha Blake? Annie, do you understand how irresponsible and dangerous that is? Anything could have happened between there and here, and you were alone. You can’t do shit like that!”

“I know, Uncle Marc. I’m sorry. I panicked. It was too much too fast, and all I could think was that I had to get out of there. I knew you wouldn’t turn me away, so I came here,” I explain.

He sighs, “I understand wanting to leave, but there was a better way to do this, Sunshine. They must all be losing their minds. I have to call your father.”

I look at him in terror as my heart pounds, “Uncle Marc, wait. Please. I called them about thirty minutes before I got here. I told them I was sorry and that I needed space. I know they don’t know that I am here and you feel like they should, but they agreed to give me time and not question where I am as long as I call them everyday. If you call and tell him, they will drag me back and I’m not ready. Please don’t. Not yet. I beg you.”

They are startled by my outburst. Uncle Marc stares silently at me, mind-linking the others. When he comes back, he looks pissed. Before I can ask what he’s thinking, my aunt speaks up.

“Annie, why are you scared to go back?” Aunt Crystal asks hesitantly.

“Should I tell them? As soon as he knows, being an Alpha, he may want to send me back,” I look at Leah, uncertain.

She nods, “They need the whole story. Besides, he wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Is he violent? Abusive?” Harry asks through gritted teeth. Uncle Marc growls, and now I understand his anger.

I look at him and shake my head, “No! It’s…more complicated than that.”

Uncle Marc runs his hands over his face, “Then, explain it to me Annie. Your Dad won’t force you to accept the man if you don’t want him. He knows you love Jonathan. You can be chosen mates.”

I shake my head, “I’m not so certain of that, Uncle Marc.”

His hands drop, looking at me curiously, “Why do you say that?”

“You know how Dad is about duty, right?” I ask, hinting at their past.

He stares at me a moment before he nods, “Yes…?”

I take a shaky breath, “I know I’m his baby, and he loves me, but I’m afraid all he’ll see is my responsibility and my duty, not my happiness. I have always done what they have asked of me, and I’m scared of being guilted into this life. I’m a healer, not a leader.”

He looks at me in confusion before the wheels start turning. Suddenly, his mouth falls open and he cusses, ”Oh, shit. You’re Benjamin’s mate, aren’t you?”

Hope jerks up, “No way! Alyssa’s brother Benjamin? The dude that was always an ass to you?”

Harry stares at me in shock, “Yeah, the same ass that is about to turn twenty two and set to be Alpha in the next few months.”

I hear my aunt gasp next to me, “Wait. That means you are-”

“Please don’t,” I cut her off. “Please, don’t say it.”

Taking a deep breath, my uncle grabs my hands, “Start at the beginning, Annie. I want to know everything.”

I begin vomiting at the mouth, telling them everything. I start from the conversation with Mom in the kitchen all the way to the phone call with my family before I got here. Aunt Crystal squeezes my hands in comfort when I get to the parts about Jonathan. I can’t help but choke up but having them all there helps.

Uncle Marc sits there so patiently, digesting everything I say. I can tell he’s conflicted. He hates that I’m so upset, but I know as an Alpha, he would lose it if he didn’t have Aunt Crystal.

The tears I had been holding back come flooding out, “There’s another reason I came. I needed to talk to you and get an Alpha’s perspective who is not the father of said person. Uncle Marc, is there even any point in me fighting this? Will he really let me go if I chose to walk away? Will the bond let him? If I don’t, can I still be a doctor? If I do, can I really turn my back on this path? Can I still love Jonathan or is that part of my life over? Is the control over it gone?”

He kneels in front of me and pulls me into his warm embrace as I sob into his neck, “Shhhh, Sunshine. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Jonathan didn’t need a bond. He chose to love me. He picked me. We had our whole life planned. Now, that’s gone. Why couldn’t it have been a stranger, that way we could have fallen in love like I had with Jonathan?” I weep.

“It’s killing me that you are in so much pain, but there has to be a reason the Moon Goddess put you two together. I have to believe that. Maybe one day, you will too,” he whispers.

My arms tighten as I ramble, “I wanted the bond and believed in it. I wanted to be like you and Aunt Crystal, like Mom and Dad. I wanted it so bad, but now I’m being forced to someone who never had anything but hate for me. He would have never chosen me on his own. The bond will compel him to. Why would I want to be with someone who deep down actually hates me? Who’s being forced to love me?”

Uncle Marc sighs as he slowly pulls away to hold my gaze, “Trust me, Sunshine. He doesn’t hate you, even before the bond. You came up a few times when he was here a couple of months ago for our alliance meeting. He thought and spoke highly of you.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I mutter.

He grips my shoulders, “It’s the truth. I won’t say I understand because I don’t. I will never go through what you are experiencing. What I do know is that there are several couples that have, and when asked about it, they said it was not easy but worth it. There was a lot of groveling, a long dating phase, and slowly building trust over time. Some even went to counseling before being able to forgive and move on.”

I shake my head, “Maybe I could forgive him one day, if he earned it, but I don’t know if I could ever trust him after everything he has done, much less love him.”

“If the future Alpha is serious about you, he will be patient and do whatever it takes to earn your trust, to be the partner you deserve. Knowing what I do about Benjamin, I know he will try his damnedest to earn you. I know I would fight tooth and nail to keep your aunt by my side, but yes, I believe if you wanted, he would let you go. You already said he spoke it in the voicemail,” he says with a reassuring smile.

“You think I should be with him,” I sigh.

He shrugs, “I think he should be given a chance. That being said, if he doesn’t fight, if all of his effort is not poured into you, then he doesn’t deserve you as his Lu…partner…and you have every right to walk away. They got a problem with it, you come here. We can always use more doctors.”

I sniffle, wiping the tears away while I process this. Aunt Crystal rubs my back as she speaks, “As far as…my position… there is no rule saying you can’t pursue your dreams. I chose not to because I wanted to stay home with your cousins and focus solely on that job. You can absolutely still be a doctor. Besides, think about how badass you would be in that position, between knowing how to kick ass and how to heal it. Your father did train you like he does his fighters, right?”

I haven’t thought about that. Every pack member has to do a basic training class for worse case scenarios, aka most of our fighters are down and the ones left need help. Lunas normally are given specialized training to be better able to protect themselves and others in these cases. Being the daughter of a Beta and the Head Fighter, Dad never took chances and trained me hard just like he did with Michael. I did so well that he had mentioned wanting me to join his ranks, but my heart was set on being a doctor.

“Yeah, he did. Told me that I could give Michael a run for his money, much to big bro’s chagrin, considering he’s the top fighter right now,” I smirk.

“Since that’s taken care of, you don’t have to do the specialized course. Anything your Dad taught you will be a thousand times more useful anyway. Marc still had to teach me things after. This saves you time and you can focus on your doctor training. You have what, another year and you’ll be certified to work at the hospital?” she asks.

I nod, “Roughly. Dr. Vega said I was progressing faster than she anticipated and that she may clear me in a few months. Though, Dr. Andrews may fight her on it. He has a problem with me for whatever reason.”

“Sexist bastard,” Hope mumbles under her breath.

I snort, “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Do I need to make a phone call?” Uncle Marc raises his eyebrow.

I smile, shaking my head, “He’s all bark and no bite. I’m sure Dr. Vega will put him in his place.”

Aunt Crystal smiles, “See? You can have that position and still work at the hospital. You have options. Life isn’t over.”

I sigh, looking back at Uncle Marc, “I will think about everything you both have said. In the meantime, Is…is it okay if I stay here a little while? If not, I can go on a road trip or something.”

“What kind of question is that? Of course you are staying here. No niece of mine will be on the roads by herself. Though, I have to ask. How long do you plan on staying?” He questions.

“I’m…not sure. I only packed a week’s worth of clothes,” I nervously chuckle, rubbing the back of my head.

My aunt and uncle look at each other, internally communicating. A couple of minutes pass before he looks back at me, “Alright, here’s the deal. You can stay here as long as you need; days, weeks, months. I will not allow your Dad or Alpha to drag you back. This is MY territory. If you leave, it will be your decision. However, while I will give you some time to relax and settle, you will call your father and tell him you are here. Do you understand, Annabeth?”

“I understand,” I sigh in agreement, “I’d much rather be here than on the road.”

He nods, looking to the twins, “you two, go get ready for morning training. Annie, why don’t you go get settled in your old room and get some rest? We can talk more about this later.”

The three of us stand to head upstairs, when I realize I left my stuff in my Jeep. “Oh, wait. I need to go grab my bag,” I say, turning back towards the door.

“I grabbed it when we got out. It’s right by the door,” Harry calls over as he jogs up the stairs.

Sure enough, the bag sits there along with my keys. “Thank you!” I holler back, grabbing it and heading up the stairs.

“No problem!” a muffled voice sounds from behind his bedroom door.

I chuckle to myself as I pass his and Hope’s rooms before reaching mine. Slowly pushing the door, a smile forms on my face. Nothing has changed, my room just sitting and waiting for me to come back. Uncle Marc had bought me a beautiful canopy bed, desk for my laptop, and mini shelves to make my own library. Of course, I brought my computer and books home with me the last summer I was here, but everything else is just how I left it. For whatever reason, it’s giving me comfort, reminding me that not everything has changed.

My mind wanders to the last time I was here.

*Flashback: Annie, Hope, and Harry - 16*

“This is complete bullshit, Annie,” Harry seethes, pacing my room.

I sigh, slowly packing up my books, “I know, but it’s what Dad wants me to do.”

Hope sits cross legged in the center of my bed, “So, you not even going to try to argue? I mean, you’ve been staying with us every summer since we were five.”

“I talked to Mom. She agrees with Dad that we should start focusing on our career training, but she also said she would talk to him. Of course, he just went into a rant about duty and it ended in an argument between them. I know if I make enough of a fuss, he probably would cave, but I don’t want to do that,” I shrug.

“You know, Annie, it’s okay to speak up for yourself sometimes. If anyone can balance training in two different packs, it’s you,” Harry huffs as he sits next to Hope.

I nod, “You know me and my “avoid conflict at all cost” mentality. We do need to focus on our training, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop seeing you guys. It just means I won’t stay for the whole summer. Maybe I can get away with a week or two.”

“Promise?” Hope asks, holding out her pinky.

I walk over and connect ours together, before reaching out for Harry with my other pinky. His mad eyes soften, and with a small sigh, he hooks his with mine.

“I promise,” I smile.

“Annie, it’s time to go honey!” Mom calls from down the stairs.

“Coming,” I holler back.

The twins stand up and pull me into a group hug. I feel the tears welling up but I force them down. I don’t want to upset them anymore than they already are.

“I love you guys,” I whisper.

“We love you, too,” Harry sighs as we break apart.

“I’m going to video call you a hundred times a day and you better answer every single one!” Hope fusses, poking my shoulder.

“I will, I will!” I giggle.

“Here. Let us help you with your bags,” Harry says, both of them grabbing one.

“Thanks,” I smile at them as they walk out ahead of me.

Reaching the threshold, I turn back to look into the almost empty room. My smile falters as I blink the tears away. I know what I promised, but it’s a reality that I may not see this room for a long time, maybe even never again.

“Annie? Please talk to Dad. It’s obvious this isn’t what you want,” Leah offers, feeling the sadness rolling off of me.

“I can’t Leah. This is what he wants, and it’s what I need to do. Responsibilities and what not,” I say back softly.

“But this is your happiness we are talking about, Annie. Video calls aren’t going to be enough for you guys,” she huffs.

I let out a shaky breath, “It will have to be.”

She doesn’t say anymore as I grab the last bag waiting for me beside the bedroom door. With a deep breath and one final look across the room, I close the door on one of the best parts of my life.

*Present Day*

Quickly pulling out a set of pajamas and my toiletries, I head to the attached bathroom to take a shower. Standing under the warm water, I try to remove as much makeup, tear stains, and stress as I can.

“I guess you were right. Uncle Marc didn’t kick us out,” Leah comments after a moment.

I nod, “I knew he wouldn’t, though I am surprised he agreed to hold off telling Dad and that he won’t let them drag me back. I thought he might say differently once he found out who the bond was with being an Alpha himself.”

“So did I, but his love for you seemed to override the sense of duty all the men in your family seem to have. Not that it’s a bad thing but I question if it should come before happiness,” she says.

I sigh, turning the shower off, “Is it too much to hope Dad will be the same?”

She gives me a sympathetic smile as I dry off and get dressed, “I don’t know, but Uncle Marc and Harry can always kick his ass. Hell, maybe Michael too.”

Walking out the restroom, I toss my dirty clothes onto the desk and grab my phone before crawling into bed. I see a couple of texts from Michael, mostly jokes and memes. It’s his way of trying to cheer me up. I send a text back thanking him and saying I love him, then set the device to the side. I nuzzle into the pillows as my eyelids droop closed.

“We...we are going to be okay, right Leah?” I ask my wolf who is on the edge of sleep.

She yawns as she nods, “Yes. We are. Try to get some sleep, Annie.”