so this is
what's going on inside of my head:
you're sleeping next to me
looking beautiful
your eyes are closed,
but you're still able to look
so beautiful
your steady breathing challenges my heartbeats
I can't trust what's pumping inside of me
it's pushing me into you
and
I don't know if you want to catch me,
but
the softness of your skin is curing parts of my body of which I didn't know got poisoned
and
your hands didn't mean to touch me, but they are taking me away from the places I used to be
so living around you
is changing my mind
it's changing me all of the time
I don't know what this is all about
I just know what I feel
feel and fear, fear and feel
it's always quite the same
but
you
I mean
you don't know how much I love to see your soap inside my shower
your towel hanging next to mine
it's pure comfort that you're spending
it's a warmth that I rarely felt before
it's softness and
I am starting to ask myself questions that I used to avoid
which means that it's not easy too,
cause being reflected forces me to face the shitty things inside my head and
kissing you good night means to wake up next to you the other morning
and this causes more than I'd expected
I am not even mentioning my feelings actually, but
you're changing so much
you effect
a slowly moving progress of vastly different perspectives
perspectives about literally everything
and if I could I would ask you all the things I am fearing to tell
I would read my thoughts out loud for you
I would play a melody that makes things clear
the point that matters is
that you would like to listen,
would you?
cause
again
you induce so much movement inside of me
the ocean that contains my soul
is changing tides
and maybe you will see it in the new look of my eyes
when I am reaching out for you,
maybe it's the way I start to kiss or the time I take to offer you every inch of my pages
who knows
I just know that you're sleeping next to me
while I am awake for hours
I feel and fear while
trying to imprint this beauty
and I can not move myself to wake you up and destroy this piece of art