if words don't make sense
and a kiss
isn't touching you
if hands don't held hands
and I miss
what she had with you
tell me
what am I supposed to write?
supposed to do?
if I talk to a friend about
not making sense of my head
and she tells me of
disappearing instead
I ask myself
if all I am is a heart
why can't you make me beat?
tell me
what am I supposed to read?
I dance in the dark
my body pulls apart
they know,they see
they come and take it, took me, but what do I need?
I need
more than texts
more than paper blanks
inside my chest
I need
I guess
I want to test my life with
poetry and everything in between
I want to give myself a voice
I don't want to talk all day about not having a choice to
do whatever I need
go, go, go
we need more speed
it's like independence may not be reachable if you don't catch it fast enough
but I don't want to waste my precious time with rushing
I already think enough
my thoughts feel like concussion
I am shushing
I keep quiet
while my mind already
starts a riot
so tell me girl
ha, isn't it funny
tell me
what's the right thing to do?
do you ever thought about it?
and do you know what you do?
I clearly challenge myself with
figuring out what's going on
but
tell me girl
ha, it's not funny
tell me
what would you do
if there's nothing holding you back
just like a shawn mendes song
thinking about doing the worst
still
the one thing that's keeping you from being absolutely free
unconditionally
could you make sense of it
do you have advice
tell me
would you pay my price?