I can't handle it
can't handle anything
what are you feeling?
well, loneliness
too much smoke sticking in my hair
too many dancing faces
I suddenly want to ri-ri-rip my skin apart like
this would help me, as if
making me bleed out can help my situation
but it never did
maybe it's just the thought about making anything visible
cause...
you think they don't notice?
I know it's not real, but
there aren't any true clues about my health
it's just up and down and down and steady up and down down down
and I hate to talk about
being drunk sitting on a cold ass bank waiting for a fucking train to bring me to a place I pay too much rent for
I can't even afford a bed to sleep how should I be able to buy me happiness?
I don't even give a shit about money, but this world is so fucking sick
it's all about having sex while being on drugs
it's all about who's got the latest shots to get totally wasted
I watch him dance
I see them smile
I hear her laughing
all the time
and I stop while
feeling my body
stopping to move,
feeling my mind avoiding the groove
I mean
I am okay
I am able to deal with it
after all this time
I can deal with this shit
but
I want to cut the pain out of me and bleed until my mind stops screaming
I want to punch punch punch until my thoughts are finally leaving what's left of my sanity
I want to be the woman you know
I want to be a good friend
I want to be the girl you always knew
but I ...
we all seem to fail sometimes I guess