Chapter 36: Chapter 36

VADA

The late afternoon sun hovered behind the blinds, trying desperately to flood my room with light. But I didn’t want light. I wanted darkness to match my mood.

I slept for a few hours after the guys picked me up at the hospital. We still had the hotel suite at the convention center.

They’d booked it for a few extra nights after we decided to extend our stay in Vegas.

The cramps were wicked. I thought the idea of the surgery was to clean me out all in one shot.

Clearly I misunderstood.

The guys bought me diapers.

Unfortunately I needed them this time.

I wasn’t a fourteen-year-old girl on her period.

Nope.

I was a twenty-four-year-old woman bleeding like a stuck pig.

They weren’t actually diapers. The nurse at the hospital must’ve instructed them on what to get, because there was a jumbo pack of peri-pads in my bathroom.

The thick ones designed for women who’d just given birth.

I hadn’t given birth. I was only five weeks pregnant.

How could there be ~so much~, especially after I had the clean-out surgery?

I had to give Evan credit. For a guy with period phobia, he was doing pretty well. I’d forgotten he’d almost passed out, until the guys brought it up.

My heart ached.

I’d lost a baby.

I hadn’t known he or she existed.

But it still hurt.

And the guilt of knowing my miscarriage was caused by something I did weighed heavily on my mind.

What if we hadn’t played paintball?

I would still be pregnant.

Who was the father?

We’d never know.

I stared at my phone, debating whether or not I should tell my dad. We were close. I needed to hear the sound of his voice. He always knew the right thing to say to make me feel better.

He didn’t answer his cell. Maybe he was in a meeting, or driving. I waited a while before trying again.

Still no answer.

I dialed the shop.

Janey, the airheaded receptionist answered, her high-pitched voice squealing through the phone. “Grave to Road Restorations.”

“Can you put me through to my dad, please, Janey?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s Vada. I need to talk to my dad.”

“Oh, Vada,” she laughed. “I didn’t recognize your voice.”

I rolled my eyes. She’d only worked for us for ~ten~ years.

“Dad isn’t answering his cell. Can you transfer me to his office?”

“I can transfer you, sweetie, but he’s not in there.”

“Where is he?”

“At home, I presume.”

“It’s a Monday afternoon.”

“He’s not here, darlin’. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Thanks, Janie,” I mumbled before disconnecting the call.

Something wasn’t right.

And I was going to get to the bottom of it.

I dialed the landline at my dad’s condo. It rang three times before a woman answered.

“Collins residence, Mary speaking.”

~What in the ever-loving fuck?~

“Who are you?” I demanded.

“May I ask who is speaking?” she requested in a polite, formal tone.

“Vada!”

“May I have your last name, please?”

“Collins. Vada ~Collins~. As in Chris’s daughter?”

“Oh. I’m so sorry. My apologies. It’s my first day.”

“First day doing ~what~?”

“Caring for your father.”

“Can you put him on the phone please?”

“I’ll see if he’s awake.”

My empty belly churned, a powerful wave of nausea rolling through my gut, accompanied by a side serving of dread.

My heart thundered in my ears.

My brain spit out several possible explanations.

And they were all bad.

I watched the minutes pass on my phone ~time~.

~One, two, three…~

~Ten, eleven, twelve…~

“Vada?”

“What took you so long?” I snapped.

“I was, um, just wrapping up a business call.”

“Dad,” I warned.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“You first.”

“Nothing’s wrong, pumpkin.”

“You sound like you just woke up, Dad.”

“I do?” He cleared his throat, his forced chuckle just adding to his epic performance failure.

“Dad, I want to know what is going on.”

“Nothing.”

“Dad! Stop!”

“How’s the trip going?”

“I’m flying home tonight, Dad.”

“What?” he gasped, the panic in his voice removing any lingering doubts about what was going on back home.

“Because you’re sick.”

“Don’t come home, Vada,” he begged.

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what, Dad?”

Silence.

“Dad?”

He cleared his throat.

“Please, Dad!” I cried. “Just tell me what’s going on!”

“I’m dying.”

My fragile mental state crumbled as I plummeted into a tailspin of emotion.

The phone slipped from my fingers.

I stumbled off the bed.

My stomach wretched with violent spasms, searching for food to send up. But there was nothing down there but bile and a few bites of toast.

I didn’t see my suitcase.

My foot caught the edge, and I went flying.

I might’ve blacked out for a second.

Strong arms lifted me up, carrying me back to the bed.

Evan had my phone. He was talking to Dad.

They knew!

My fiancés knew my dad was dying.

“How could you guys keep this from me?!” I screamed.

“Do you want me to put you on speaker, Chris?” Evan asked.

“I asked them to, baby,” Dad said after Evan placed the phone on the nightstand and joined Jake and Garrett at the end of the bed.

The three of them hovered there, their faces awash with guilt and shame.

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want you to watch me die. You went through that with your mother.

“Watching someone you love wither away to nothing is horrible. I didn’t want that for you again. I was trying to protect you.”

“Is that what this trip was really about?”

“The timing, yes.”

“You sent me away on a fake business trip with your best friends, who you wanted me to ~marry~, just to get rid of me?!”

“Of course not, Vada,” he said quietly. “You need to learn the business you’re inheriting. And I wanted to make sure you would be taken care of.

“I knew the guys were looking for a wife before I found out I had cancer. When I learned I only had six months to live, I approached them. They didn’t want to keep this from you. It was my decision.”

I glared at the three traitorous stooges standing at the end of my bed. “They could’ve said no.”

“It was part of the deal, Vada. They wanted you. And they had to agree to my terms before I would allow them to court you.”

“I’m coming home, Dad.”

“Please don’t, baby. Stay with the guys. Finish your trip. They have so many more fun things planned for you.”

“I bet they do,” I scoffed. “We were only supposed to be gone for a month. But they had no intention of bringing me back until you died.”

“No,” he confirmed sadly.

“I’m gonna try and get a flight out tonight.”

“Vada, please,” he begged. “Talk to the guys. Don’t shut them out. I’d prefer you stay where you are.”

“See you in the morning, Dad.”

“Vada!”

I reached for the phone, ending the call.

I hung up on my dying father.

The pain of their betrayal was too much.

I lost my baby.

And I was about to lose my dad.

And my fiancés.

I slid the engagement ring from my finger and placed it on the nightstand. They watched while I gathered up my clothes and tossed them in the suitcase.

And then they left without uttering a single word.

They knew there was nothing they could say to change my mind. I had to go home and be with my dad during his final days.

And they knew their betrayal was unforgivable.

How could I marry them after they kept a secret like that?

***

I grabbed the railing, resting my weary bones while the moving sidewalk transported me across Miami International Airport.

My last-minute decision to leave my suitcase in Vegas was a smart one. There was no way I could’ve lifted it off the luggage carousel and dragged it through the airport.

My body was recovering from surgery. It was a minor procedure, but I had anesthetic. And painkillers. I hadn’t eaten anything.

Throw in the emotional toll of the past thirty-six hours, and I was done in.

It was six in the morning in Miami, the three-hour time difference only adding to my zombie-like state of mind as I exited the cab.

The sun was up, the palm trees swaying in the warm breeze while I stopped to have a rest on the bench outside the sliding glass doors.

I was home. My life had changed in so many ways during the month I was away. I smiled sadly as I recalled some of the crazy adventures we’d had.

The guys loved me. I harbored no doubts about that.

But they should’ve told me the truth.

~If they’d told you, you would’ve missed out on the most amazing month of your life.~

I stared at the pavement, tapping the tip of my sneaker against my backpack. My time with my dad was running out. I’d already lost a month with him. And I was sitting outside like a coward.

“Miss Collins?”

I glanced up when the doorman approached, his face etched with concern.

“Are you okay?” he inquired. “Can I help you with anything?”

“No,” I said, pushing up slowly from the bench. “Thank you, Cornelius.”

I headed inside and waited for the elevator, hitting the button for my dad’s floor when I got on. If I went to my condo first, I’d have to deal with Mandy. She didn’t leave for work until eight.

And we hadn’t spoken since that night in Colorado, when I told her I was falling in love with the guys.

The nurse glanced up in surprise when I barged in, using my key to unlock the door. She gasped, clutching her chest before she realized who I was.

There was a massive painting of me in the living room. But I guess I didn’t really resemble the young, put-together chick on the wall that particular morning.

I was a hot mess. Greasy hair, no makeup, baggy track pants to hide the giant pad stuck to my granny panties.

The guys really were amazing. Even Evan, with his period phobia. They knew I only owned thongs and tiny lace panties, and tight shorts and jeans.

Before they picked me up at the hospital, they’d stopped at a department store and bought everything I needed.

I swiped at my tears with the back of my hand before pushing thoughts of the guys away. My dad was my only priority now.

“Is my dad in his room?” I asked, glancing down the hallway.

“Yes, dear,” she replied. “I’ll let him know you’re here.”

I waited while she disappeared into his room. She returned a few minutes later. “He’s ready to see you now.”

I swallowed past the massive lump in my throat and inhaled a deep, cleansing breath.

~You can do this. You’re strong.~

I smelled death before I reached his doorway. It’s a distinct smell you never forget. I was ten years old again.

In the very same hallway, hovering outside the same room where my mother died fourteen years before.

My dad was in a hospital bed, in the sitting area of his bedroom.

Just like my mother.

How long was I away?

I thought it was only a month.

He was strong and healthy when I left. Or so he’d led me to believe. But the man lying in the bed in front of me was neither of those things.

“Vada,” he said, smiling sadly. “Come here, baby.”

“Hi, Daddy,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m having a decent day, pumpkin.”

“That’s good.”

“I missed you, sweetheart,” he said.

“I’m here now. And I would’ve been here all along if I’d known you were ill.”

“Let’s not do this, Vada,” he pleaded. “What’s done is done. It was my decision to make, and I stand by it.”

“And it was my choice to come home and take care of you.”

“Fair enough.”

I settled in the chair next to the bed. “Did you have chemo or anything?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“The cancer was too far gone. Chemo might’ve bought me a few more weeks, but I would’ve been sick. I was able to work and live my life up until the last month.”

“How did you know when to send me away?”

“I was getting tired, and I had a scan that showed the cancer was spreading rapidly. My doctor advised me to get my affairs in order.”

“I can’t lose you, Dad,” I whispered. “You’re my only family.”

“You have the guys, honey,” he said. “I don’t want to leave you. I would give anything to live long enough to walk you down the aisle and see my grandbabies, but it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“I’ll be right back,” I choked out, barely holding in the sob caught in my throat.

I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. Medical supplies and drugs lined the long counter.

I dropped to my knees and hurled a stream of bile into the toilet while my empty gut wretched angrily.

My body slumped to the floor. The cool tiles felt nice against my sweaty face. I didn’t have the energy to get up.

The doctor had told me to take it easy for a few days. But I’d decided to fly across the country instead.

I closed my eyes, letting sleep take me away from the physical and mental anguish.

***

“Vada.”

“I’m sleeping, Mandy,” I grumbled. “Leave me alone.”

“C’mon, babe. Wake up.”

I opened my eyes, blinking in confusion when I realized I was on a bathroom floor. Mandy was kneeling next to me.

“Where am I?” I whispered.

“On the floor of your dad’s ensuite.”

“Shit.” I grabbed the edge of the toilet seat and pulled myself to a sitting position. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?”

“Your dad’s nurse called me.”

“My dad is dying.”

“I know. I had no idea until today, babe. I’m so sorry.”

“They kept it from me. All four of them. That’s why my dad sent me on the trip. So I wouldn’t find out he had cancer until he was gone. Can you believe that?”

“That’s terrible,” she gasped.

“I know.”

“How did you find out?”

“I called here and his nurse answered. When I told him I was coming home, he had no choice but to tell me the truth.”

“Did you come home alone?”

“Yeah. I gave the guys their ring back and left.”

“You accepted their proposal?”

“Yes,” I squeaked, bursting into tears. “But the engagement is off. They betrayed me. I missed out on time with my dad. And they had no intention of bringing me home until he was gone.”

“Vada?” she whispered gently, glancing over my shoulder. “Why is there blood on the floor?”

“Shit,” I muttered.

“I think you need to change your tampon.”

“I don’t have a tampon in. I’m wearing a fucking super pad.”

“Why?”

I glanced at the closed door. “I had a miscarriage yesterday,” I whispered.

“Oh, babe. Really?”

I nodded.

“How did you get pregnant?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t know I was pregnant. And I got hit in the stomach with a paintball.”

“How far along were you?”

“Five weeks.”

“Oh, Vada,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m so stupid, Mandy. I killed my baby.”

“You didn’t know you were pregnant.”

“I should’ve known,” I sobbed, shaking my head. “I’m a train wreck. I had a D&C last night. The doctor told me to take it easy, and I got on an airplane less than twelve hours after having surgery.”

“That does seem a tad crazy, babe,” she said. “But it explains why you’re sleeping on your dad’s bathroom floor with vomit in your hair and blood on your old-lady track pants.”

“Yeah,” I snorted. “I’m pretty gross.”

“You need a shower,” she declared.

“I’m too weak. I don’t think I could stand long enough.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Really?”

“You even have to ask?”

“I’m so sorry, Mandy.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, babe,” she whispered, tucking my gross hair behind my ear. “You’ve been there for me through some pretty rough times. Now it’s my chance to return the favor.”

“I don’t want my dad to know about the baby.”

“I won’t say anything.”

“How am I going to sneak out of here with blood on my pants?”

“He won’t notice. It’s dark in there.”

“I’ll just tell him I’m not feeling well.”

***

“Are you feeling better?” Dad asked.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Sorry about that. I guess the meal I ate on the plane didn’t agree with me.”

My dad had been sleeping when we snuck out of the bathroom. I’d gone back to my condo and taken a shower, with Mandy’s assistance.

We didn’t talk about our relationship. I had enough to deal with, and Mandy understood that. I took a three-hour nap and woke up feeling much stronger.

Mandy had made tomato soup and grilled cheese, and I’d managed to eat most of it.

“Sit, Vada,” he ordered, pointing to the chair next to his bed.

“Please don’t lecture me, Dad.”

“The guys wanted to tell you, honey.”

“But they didn’t.”

“Because I swore them to secrecy, Vada.”

“I guess they’re more loyal to you than me,” I grumbled.

“We had a deal, and they kept their end of it. And if they’d told you, you would’ve come home.”

“I could’ve had more time with you, Dad.”

“Not quality time.”

“I don’t want to spend what little time we have arguing.”

“Give them another chance, Vada. You were so happy when you called to tell me about the engagement.”

“A lot has happened since then.”

“Do you still love them?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Don’t let this ruin something great.”

“I can’t think about that right now, Dad.”

“Promise me you won’t shut them out after I’m gone. They’re gonna need you as much as you need them.”

“Fine.”

“Vada?”

“What?”

“Are you just telling me what I want to hear?”

“I wouldn’t do that, Daddy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, baby girl.”