Chapter 37: Chapter 37

VADA

I watched the sunrise from my balcony. The day dawned with clear skies and no chance of rain.

I wanted rain.

It poured the day we buried my mother. It was more fitting for a funeral.

My dad lived for almost a month after I returned to Miami. The first week was nice. It was just me and him. We talked about everything and reminisced about the good times.

He didn’t bring up the guys. I didn’t tell him about the baby I lost. We played cards and watched movies.

The second week, the guys came home. Evan created a schedule to ensure we never ran into each other.

It was childish, but I wasn’t ready to see them. Dad was my main priority, and I didn’t have the time or energy for anything else.

The last two weeks were awful. My dad became extremely confused and agitated, which required him to be sedated. He slipped into a coma and hung on for six more days.

I turned around when I heard the balcony door slide open.

“Hey,” Mandy said softly. “Whatcha doing out here?”

“Watching the sunrise.”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.”

“I’ll be by your side the entire day,” she whispered, squeezing my hand.

“Thanks, Mandy,” I said. “You’ve been my rock over the last month.”

“That’s what best friends are for.”

“I don’t deserve you. I broke my promise to you.”

“We’re not going there today, babe.”

“I’m sorry, Mandy.”

“Shh,” she whispered, pressing her finger against my lips. “Today is gonna be tough. Let’s focus on getting through that.”

***

I sat in the front pew with Mandy. The church was packed with friends and business associates. My dad was well-known and loved in the Miami car community.

They sat in the pew across from us. Evan, Jake, and Garrett. My dad’s lifelong best friends and business partners. It was the first time I’d laid eyes on them in a month.

I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of emotions when I saw them.

They’d sent me text messages every day. I never replied, but I always read them. They were filled with sweet sentiments. And every night I received three ~I love you~ texts.

I glanced over at them, three sets of sad eyes gazing back. They’d lost their best friend. The guys knew my dad long before I was born. It was a difficult day for them too.

I longed to feel their strong arms around me. We needed each other.

But I was afraid.

How could I ever trust them again?

They’d never apologized.

They were loyal. But their loyalty was what led them to betray me. When I thought about the month I spent with them, I recalled several instances when they lied to my face.

The minister talked about my dad like he knew him. But he didn’t. He was just reading a list of facts about Chris Collins that someone prepared for him. Evan was going to deliver the eulogy.

They asked me if I wanted to speak, but I declined. Public speaking wasn’t my thing.

Evan took his place at the front of the church. “Thank you, everyone, for coming. We’re gathered here today to celebrate the life of an amazing man. A man taken far too soon.”

I dabbed at my eyes, sneaking a glance across the aisle. Jake was watching me.

“Chris Collins was one of my best friends for thirty-seven years. We met on the first day of kindergarten.

“Chris came to school wearing a dress shirt and a tie with Rubik’s Cubes on it. I thought that tie was ~awesome~.”

I smiled. I could totally picture my dad wearing a tie like that.

“We bonded immediately. Jake and Garrett already knew each other from preschool. And they were bullies. They cornered us on the playground at recess, demanding that Chris hand over the tie.

“I stood up for him and ended up in a mud puddle. We eventually became best friends with the bullies when I brought homemade peanut butter cups for snack.

“Garrett loved peanut butter anything. He still does.”

Evan paused while people laughed. I exchanged a smile with Garrett.

“I remember the first day of high school, when Chris met Carly. He was a smitten kitten. They dated all through high school. When she got pregnant, our software was already in the works.

“Chris came to us one night and told us we needed to finish it and sell it, because he had a baby coming. And that’s what we did.

“We used some of the money to start Grave to Road Restorations out of his garage while we went to college, investing the rest in real estate and other ventures.”

He smiled at me. “Chris was over the moon the day Vada was born. He texted us when Carly went into labor. We sat in the hospital waiting room for twenty-seven hours.

“I’ll never forget the look on his face when he burst out of the delivery room to announce he had a daughter.”

He paused, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Chris was never the same after Carly passed away. She was his soulmate.

“When he learned he had terminal cancer, he was devastated that he had to leave his beautiful daughter so soon, but he was looking forward to joining Carly on the other side.”

Mandy wrapped her arm around me, hugging me tightly while I wept. I was an orphan. Both my parents were gone. I had no family.

My hand went to my belly, the pain of losing my baby still a fresh wound in my heart.

***

I’d never forgotten the smell of fresh-cut grass and newly turned earth on the day my mother was buried. It smelled the same the morning my dad was lowered into the ground next to her.

I stood between Garrett and Jake while the minister said some final words about my dad. They held my hands while we said our final farewells.

Evan stood behind us, his hand on the small of my back.

We threw the ceremonial dirt on his casket.

My dad was gone.

I was all alone in the world.

I’d never hear him call me pumpkin again.

He wouldn’t walk me down the aisle at my wedding or give out cigars when my babies were born.

I’d never get to hear his stories about Mom again. Her parents were gone. She was an only child. There was nobody left who could talk to me about her.

Who would make chocolate chip pancakes on Christmas morning?

And fill my stocking with silly gifts.

Who would buy my birthday cake from Gert’s Bakery?

Who would fill my Easter basket?

Who would tell me when I fucked up?

I’d never hear his voice again.

My knees buckled. I dropped to the ground, completely losing the battle to maintain my composure as I sobbed uncontrollably.

Strong arms wrapped around me and held me while I cried myself to the point of complete exhaustion.