20. End

~Jackson

When I finally got home from a rather boring day at work, I found Josh peeling carrots in the kitchen. I almost wanted to ask if he had something against those carrots with how violently he seemed to be attacking them, but held back the comment. With his recent mood, I didn't want him to turn the peeler on me, not that I really thought that he would...

"Hey baby," I said instead, which ended up startling Josh and making him drop the peeler onto the cutting board. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." I then glanced around the room, noticing that no one else was here. "Where's Leo?" Then it occurred to me that I didn't even see his car outside.

Josh let out a frustrated groan and pushed the cutting board until it hit the wall at the back of the counter. "Of course that's the first thing you'd ask."

"Woah, woah, woah," I started, taking a step closer to him. "Baby, what's wrong?"

He finally looked at me, something I didn't recognize glinted in his eyes. "It's always you and Leo, isn't it? Did you know Colton stopped by today?" I didn't even have time to process what he just said before he went on. "He brought Kyle with him, but Kyle was too afraid of what he didn't know to come to the door. I wanted so badly to go talk to him, maybe get him to come inside, even for a little bit. But Leo stopped me. Because of you. Because you weren't here, Leo wouldn't let me go talk to him. Kyle's my husband too! It's not just you and Leo!"

"Josh... what..." I couldn't even form a coherent thought. "That's not true. Not at all."

He sank to the floor with a small sob. I immediately rushed over to him, pulling him closer to me, glad he wasn't pushing me away this time.

We sat there on the floor for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. Then he broke the silence with a whisper that broke my heart: "But it feels true."

~Josh

I shouldn't have blown up on him. I don't even know why I did it. He didn't deserve it. I know it's not his fault. His or Leo's. I knew that.

And yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that they loved each other more than they cared about me or Kyle. If the ten years have proved anything, it's that they love me, without a doubt. So why was I having doubts now?

Then a thought occurred to me. "I'm not good enough for you." I didn't realize I had even said the words out loud until I heard them come out of my mouth.

Jackson shifted me in his hold so that he could look into my face. "Why would you even think that, Josh?" he asked. "If anyone is not deserving of the other in this relationship, it's me that doesn't deserve you. You're smarter than me. You make a whole lot more money than me. Hell, you're way more handsome than me too. And you have a heart of gold. I definitely don't deserve you, but here we are. Because none of that stuff has ever mattered before. To any of us. So why now, Josh? Where did these thoughts come from?"

I sighed, letting my head drop onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm so sorry."

He didn't say anything, just lightly rubbed small circles on my back as we sat here in the middle of the floor. It was better this way rather than him trying to tell me "it's okay" or something. It wasn't okay. Not in the slightest. We both knew that.

"Jackson?" I asked cautiously a few minutes later.

"Mhm?"

"Where's Leo?" I needed to apologize to him too. I just didn't know where he was. I haven't seen him in a couple hours, I think.

"Josh." He moved me to look at me again. "Contrary to whatever thoughts are floating around that head of yours, Leo and I don't usually tell each other things without also telling you. I have no idea where he is. I just got home. I figured you would have known."

I sat all the way up, almost completely backing out of his hold. "I don't know where he is. Is he even home?" I stood up, ready to check out the window to see if his car was here.

"I didn't see his car, babe," Jackson said, also getting to his feet.

"Why wouldn't he tell me where he was going though?" I asked before realizing I knew the answer already. "Wait, don't answer that. I know why." Because I've been pushing him away. Simple as that.

I sighed, looking at Jackson. "Can you call him? I'm not exactly sure if he'll answer if I call. I need to apologize to him. I've been a jerk. To both of you. It wasn't fair to do that."

He nodded, then came over and embraced me, giving me a kiss on my forehead. "I will always love you. No matter how moody you can get sometimes."

He laughed when I hit his chest. "I'm not moody. Just... I don't know, off, I guess, this week."

"Either way, I love you."

~Leo

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I sighed. "How could it have gotten so messed up?"

"I really thought I was doing it right, Leo. I promise."

I looked up from the register report to look at Mandy. "I'm pretty sure losing two hundred and eighteen dollars in one day is not doing it right." I looked back down at the papers laid out on the counter. "Who rented the boat today?"

"Uh, this younger couple. College age."

I sighed again. So her age. Possibly friends of hers. If she just let them take the boat without paying - which, while not okay, wouldn't be awful - then why did she charge the computer for it and not take the money?

"How did they pay?" I knew the answer - cash, but I wanted to hear her answer, just in case.

"Um..." She thought for too long about it. "I think it was a card. Maybe Visa?"

I was about to tell her off or something when my phone rang. Sighing, I took it out of my pocket to see Jackson's name on the screen. I looked back up at Mandy. "You know what, just go home. We'll deal with this tomorrow."

She nodded quickly before practically running out of the store. I knew she wasn't the best worker, but a thief? I couldn't believe it could possibly be true.

But Jackson was calling me, which meant it was later than I thought it was. This whole issue was going to be dealt with later.

"Hey love," I said once I answered the phone, shuffling together the papers into a single pile. "How was work?"

Jay groaned. "Same as usual. But where are you? I'm home, and neither of us knew where you went."

I sighed. "Sorry. An issue came up at work." I looked around the place. Most things were in order. I could leave everything else for tomorrow. Even Monday if I kept the store closed tomorrow. I could do that. "I'm just closing up, then I'll head home."

"Take your time," Jay answered immediately. "We were just wondering where you went was all."

I shut down the computer and turned off the wireless mouse. "How's Josh doing? I feel bad not letting him know first, but honestly? He's pretty much been ignoring me all morning."

Jay let out a soft sigh. "He's... well just come home and see. I think he might be over whatever funk he's been in lately. We'll talk it out tonight."

"That's good, I guess." I didn't know what other way to take that. Sure, him being over whatever it was that got into him was definitely a good thing, but something about the way Jay said it that had me second guessing myself.

"Did the kids get home yet?" I asked, changing the topic as I locked the office door behind me. "I don't remember when Linda said she'd drop them off."

"Not yet. Should be here in the next half hour or so."

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Okay. I'll see you soon, love. I'm on my way home now."

With one last farewell to Jackson before my fifteen-minute drive home ahead of me, I turned off the lights in the shop and walked out the door, making sure it was locked up. This shop hadn't exactly been my dream job, but it was close enough. I got to be close to the water every day dealing with boats, which I love. It's the running my own business part that wasn't the greatest, especially when something like this happened. But with everything else going on in my life right now, I didn't want to have to spend extra time in the shop trying to find missing money.

Getting into my car, I sighed as I rested my head against the steering wheel for a moment. I really hoped everything would be okay with Josh. With us. If he was ready to open up to us, finally, then I needed to get home to listen. We couldn't let this go on any longer than it has. This fighting and ignoring each other had to end.

As soon as I started the engine, however, there was a loud bang. I jumped, not expecting anything like that, and immediately turned the car back off. I sat there, stumped, as I watched a single tendril of smoke start to rise from the hood of my car.

"Dammit," I muttered, getting out. "Why now? Why?"

After about five minutes into looking under the hood, I determined that there was nothing I could do now to get my car working again. So I called Jackson, asking to be picked up.

Of course, he laughed at me. I would have been laughing too if I knew we could afford to get me another car. But with Kyle not working, and Jackson having only just gone back to work after taking those weeks off to be with Kyle, we didn't have all that much extra cash to just drop on a car right now.

"You just had to go and blow up your car, didn't you?" Jay asked out his car window as he pulled up next to me.

I shook my head, chuckling while walking over to get into the passenger seat. "I didn't blow it up. Only the gasket blew."

"Yeah, yeah. Same thing."

We started up a conversation of whether it would be better for me to try and get it fix or just go for another car altogether. We didn't get too far into the conversation though when Jay slammed on his breaks.

I looked up, having been doing some minimal research on my phone, to see a large truck in our lane and heading straight for us. And it wasn't slowing down.

Time stopped. I grabbed hold of the seat beneath me with one hand while the other held onto the dashboard in front of me. Jay's eye's were wide, both hands gripped so tightly on the wheel that his knuckles were starting to turn white. And his lips moved so slightly and he whispered words. At first I couldn't make out what he was saying, but then it occurred to me that he was saying my name over and over again.

The truck honked and time sped up again. Jay twisted the wheel to the right, sending us off the road towards the woods. I felt the car slowing down as we bumped over dirt and rocks, but we weren't slowing fast enough. He was trying to dodge trees, but he wasn't able to dodge them all, one finally managing to get the car to stop moving.

My head slammed into the back of the seat at the same time the airbags deployed. I felt the glass from the window raining down on me, but I barely focused on that.

"Jay?" I called out, slowly moving my stiff neck to look over at him.

He wasn't moving. His face was in the other direction so I couldn't even tell if he was conscious. Was he hurt? I tried reaching for him, but the seat belt held me back and a pain in my shoulder prevented me from touching him.

"Jay, are you alright?"

I watched as he slowly moved his hand towards me. "I'm sorry, Lee."

I wanted to take hold of his hand, but I still couldn't make myself reach that far. My vision started growing darker and the only thought going through my head before I completely blacked out was that someone needed to call Josh.