The Performance

“Will Lord Muin not be joining us?” Liza asked, looking pointedly at Anhelina. We were in my room as our ladies helped us get ready. I hated getting fussed over, but Anhelina was actually having a good time. She loved dressing me, seeing which shirts went with which pants and which dresses flattered me the most.

Today she had me in a buttercup yellow jumpsuit that hugged my figure until it hit my waist, the pant legs loose and flowing down to my ankles, the hems embroidered with blue flowers and winding green stems. The dress was hers and Jurek’s gift to me, something I never expected. Much like food, I didn’t care much about clothing, but I would cherish the gift until it was worn out, then stitch it back together myself.

Anhelina had the hem in her hands as I sat on the chair and she sat on a stool in front of me, fixing a few wayward strings, as she looked up. She was much better than Jurek at hiding her frustration, though I could tell from how she held the needle was she would happily stabbed Liza with it. “Yes. He’ll be with us all day for Lady Hyran’s celebration.”

Verdi rolled her eyes, making eye contact with Liza before asking, “Will he be joining in our festivities, or will he simply stand to the side?”

“He’ll let us have our time together,” I said. “If you want, I can ask him to give us a few hours to ourselves.”

“Oh, no. No.” Verdi smiled as she adjusted the bust of her suit. “He skipped out on dinner to work. We want to spend some time with our brother-in-law.”

Nothing good could ever come from this, but I let it be, looking out the window as Anhelina finished the adjustments. I tried not to let what Liza and Verdi said get to me, but I was still thinking about what Liza said about Muin keeping secrets. Of course, there were things we didn’t know about each other yet. Things that would come around with time, but he knew far more about me than I did him. I wanted to ask him more, but I didn’t know how to approach the subject.

Snow was still falling, but it wasn’t sticking like it had been the past few weeks. It would likely just be muddy for a few days until the temperature dropped again.

Jurek knocked to get our attention, the door cracked open. She stood with a letter in her hands, Muin’s familiar seal relaxing me as I laid eyes on it. Regardless of secrets, we still communicated far better than I had ever hoped.

“My lady,” she said, striding across the room and giving me the letter. “I meant to give this to you earlier, but I was…” she looked at Liza’s attendant, “…delayed.”

“Thank you, Jurek. Be sure to tell Lord Muin he’s under no obligation to spend the entire day with us. I know he has other things to be doing.”

“Of course, my lady.” She bowed and left, leaving Verdi and Liza to look on curiously.

“Another letter from Misra?” Liza said. “Shouldn’t be reading that kind of thing in front of you attendant.”

“It’s from Lord Muin,” I said. “Putra hasn’t written me in years.” He had no reason to, always being a few feet away from me.

I opened the letter, sinking further into my chair.

> January 15

>

>

>

> My Lady Hyran,

>

> I’m sorry for having to leave before getting to meet your sisters. I hope you understand that I wanted to meet them then, but I have other obligations I have to take care of. Other things I want to talk to you about.

>

> Jurek also told me about your sisters this morning. I won’t sugar coat since I know you dislike that, but they seem wholly unlikeable from what Jurek’s seen. I’ll have to see for myself how they treat you and decide from there.

>

> If they don’t prove to be too much of an issue in the morning, I want to borrow you around nine-thirty before everything else starts. I know you don’t care much for the cold, so I’ve made some adjustments to the greenhouse to help with my endeavor. I hope that you can make it to me. I wanted to give you something personal for your birthday, but we’re still getting to know each other, so I hope you enjoy the performance.

>

>

>

> Yours,

>

> Lord Muin

I couldn’t help but smile stupidly at the letter. My Lady Hyran. It wasn’t the first time he’d called me that but seeing it in writing was something else. I could have stared at it for hours, but I remembered what Jurek said when she walked in.

I checked my watch.

9:28.

If Anhelina hadn’t already gotten up from the stool, I would have knocked her over as I got up. I looked around, trying to find my shoes. Anhelina held them out, letting me use her shoulder for balance.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“What’s got you in such a hurry?” Verdi asked, moving out of the way as I went to my dresser and grabbed my hairpin.

I stabbed my head as I stuck it in my braid, ignoring the throbbing as I kept moving to get ready. “I have to meet with Muin. I’m going to be late.”

The door was already swinging shut as Liza shouted, “Just skip it!”

Skip it? I could never think about missing it. Before this, the only person to ever give me a birthday gift was Putra. He always gave me something I loved and used often. Last year he got me a watercolor set. I normally stuck to oils, but I’d been wanting to get into watercolor. It worked so much differently that I was used to and never bought the paints in fear of being terrible. He told me to get over myself and just do it. I was okay at it and preferred my oils, but I was glad I tried it, and I still got it out some time.

But this year was different. Jurek and Anhelina made me the jumpsuit I was wearing. Kasi was learning how to bake the cakes I liked and Fedir was learning how to blanche food so I could eat more vegetables without the bitterness. And Muin…

I slid to a stop in front of the first door to the greenhouse and fiddled with my hair and the straps of the jumpsuit. I was breathing a little hard from jogging through the manor. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I stepped into the small hallway between the manor and greenhouse, seeing Muin sitting on a chair with a cello leaning on its stand next to him.

Our transformation of the greenhouse had been progressing nicely and most of it was picked up. The floors were swept, the overgrown plants taken care of, and tables cleaned.

Muin moved the tables to the side of the room except for one. It was covered with a black sheet, a piece of swirled vanilla and chocolate cake and a glass of wine on top.

He was sitting on a high-backed chair, checking his watch. He was wearing loose blue pants, cinched at the waist with a black belt, a tight-fitting yellow shirt, opened at the collar. I’d seen him in a similar outfit before, but I couldn’t help but grin. We were matching and I knew he did it just to make me happy. I’d made an offhanded comment about finding couples in matching clothes cute, and here we were.

He stood as he saw me, and I was grateful my boots gave me an extra inch. Muin normally felt like he was towering over me, but in my boots, I felt closer to even ground. He looked me over, a smile spreading over his face as he bowed with a flourish. “Welcome to your birthday performance, my lady.” He walked over to me and took my hand, a light kiss brushing my knuckles as he led me to the table.

I blushed to my hair as he pulled out my chair, his hand on my back as I sat. He leaned down and said, “Kasi worked hard on the cake. I hope you like it.” He moved back to his seat, placing the cello in front of him.

He rolled his wrists and placed his hands in position, closing his eyes. Everything seemed fluid as he moved, pulling the bow across the string, a long, deep note filling the room. His hands moved quickly as a high note sounded, a sweet melody beginning to form.

I leaned against the table, resting my face on my hand as I ate and watched him play. His hands moved without stuttering, practiced and sure motions the highlight of his performance. Up and down the strings, his hands shook with the vibrato and slid smoothly as he changed notes.

I knew the song well. An old song from before the settling of even Capsi. A song about two rivals who slowly began to love each other, only to be torn apart when they realize their feelings for each other. It was the song I knew the words for and even the dance, but I was too focused on his movements to think of doing either.

As the bow lifted, the last note still vibrated in the air, and he opened his eyes. His eyes met mine and I realized how hard I was staring. My heart stuttered as he smiled. He put the cello back on its stand, as he stood and walked toward me. He’d said he was rusty, but there was nothing rusty about it. If I’d seen him on a theater stage, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

He knelt in front of me, taking my hands. Seeing him in front of me was doing my heart no favors as it continued to leap, and his soft brown eyes filled my vision. I couldn’t look away to regulate.

Stay human, stay human, stay human.

I had thought he was handsome when I met him, but every time I saw him, he looked more and more attractive. His hair had streaks of silver I hadn’t noticed before but lit up in the sunlight. His freckles didn’t just cover his face but peppered her neck and collar too. His beard softened the sharp angles of his jaw and his mouth always seemed to be upturned just a little in a natural smirk.

Muin squeezed my hands, cocking his head to the side. “My Lady Hyran, did you enjoy the performance?”

If I could blush any harder I was going to pass out. “Y-Yes. You were wonderful.”

Stay human, stay human, stay human, stay human.

He let out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you think so. I haven’t played in years, so I’m glad I remembered how.”

“Really? I would have thought you played more often. You were wonderful.”

He chuckled. “You said that already.”

I felt like I was going to vibrate out of my skin, the image of a fox circling in my mind. It always hurt less to shrink down into something. “Right. Yes. I’m just.”

Stayhumanstayhumanstayhumanstayhumanstayhuman.

I felt my skin start to shift, the familiar sting of hair breaking skin rippled through me, and I pushed myself back, the chair shrieking on the ground. I stood, ripping my hands from his as I moved. “I-I’m so sorry.”

I needed something to help me stay. Stay human so he wouldn’t know. If he saw me, it could ruin all the progress I made to separate myself from who I used to be. It would ruin all of our progress together. I couldn’t fuck that up by letting him see me.

I ran to the door. Not the one that led to the rest of the manor, but the one that led outside. It was still muddy, and snow was coming down in flurries. The blast of cold as I hustled outside hit me like a slap to the face, and the feeling of change snapped back with the same force. I hated being cold and my body was responding to that, making the fur start to sprout faster. I hunched over, trying to block out the wind and push the fur back.

I couldn’t do this now. Not now when everything had been so perfect.

“Hyran!” I looked up to see Putra come running. My face was already starting to elongate, my eyes getting bigger and my ears shifting as they climbed up my head. Everything would be ruined if I couldn’t keep it together.

Putra tackled me in a warm coat, wrapping around me in a familiar embrace. I melted into his arms as I always did, sobs crawling their way up my throat, as he murmured, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”