Chapter 18: EXTRA: Lee + Henry + Boracay

Authors Note #1:

Hi friends! I am once again stuck on the plot for H2L, but don't want to not put out anything, so here's an extra about Lee and Henry. It literally is 6k words longer than I meant it to be, but it's fine. It also is not really cohesive. I don't like writing in the third person and I'm not really good at it. So it's kind of in bits and pieces LOL. I hope you can enjoy it still.

Happy reading!

Lee's mind had been a mess since the day he visited his mother— that woman. No, maybe it was a mess from further before that, even. Maybe it'd always been a mess. Maybe that was why he covered her for so long, why he made mistake after constant mistake, why he couldn't just be normal for once.

Seeing Bennett irritated him. Bennett hadn't even done anything. All he had done was be her son. Her son by blood. Her son she knew she'd have take over the company, making Lee work like a dog under a false pretense. He'd thought he'd been saving Bennett from a miserable life, when instead, he'd been securing one for himself.

Lee hated he felt like that. Hated that he felt annoyance toward Bennett. Hated that even after everything, even with her behind bars, she could influence him like this.

You'll ruin him, she'd said the moment he'd walked into the visitation room.

It was always Lee's fault. Everything always was.

If you stay at the company, you'll not only ruin your brother's life, but every other employee's as well. Can you handle that Lee? You're so selfish—

A throb went through Lee's head and he put a hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. No. He refused to think about her words. They didn't matter. He knew better now. She was just trying to control him. But he was done trying to please her. He was done being her son. All the years he'd worked so hard for the company had turned out to be just him lying the foundation for Bennett. Everything he did had been for Bennett, but not in the way he thought. Lee had just played right into that woman's hands.

The stress everything was putting on him was turning him into a person he didn't like— and it unnerved him.

Bennett hadn't done anything wrong. She was the one who was wrong. And yet, she claimed Lee was the one who'd ruin Bennett? How did that make any sense?

And yet, the more he thought about it, the more it haunted him. The more resentment he harbored toward the company, the less he cared about it. Any motivation to make it into a better place was replaced by a cool regard. Would he ruin it? By not caring anymore? And in turn, ruin Bennett? The thought ate at him and ate at him.

Every day felt like going through the motions at the office. He tried to put on a brave face for everyone else, but he wasn't sure who he was convincing. He knew Henry didn't believe him. And that made him feel worse. Henry just wanted to help, and Lee knew that, but there was no way for Henry to help. This was all on Lee.

Having a break was decidedly the best thing for Lee. He needed to get away and not think. Just for a little. And Boracay was the first place that'd popped into his mind. Henry had sounded enthusiastic about visiting the Philippines when they'd talked about where they'd like to visit once, and Lee was okay with anything far from New York. And although Henry seem surprised by the abrupt vacation, he agreed to go pretty easily, probably also thinking it was for the best for Lee. Which, again, just made Lee feel worse. He knew Henry had agreed only for his sake.

However, just knowing he'd be away from the hotel for a couple of weeks made Lee feel like a little weight had been lifted off his shoulders, but he wasn't ready to accept what that meant quite yet. Instead, he decided to enjoy the little bit of freedom from stress.

Even Henry noticed his change of attitude, and again, that just made Lee feel bad. He'd known he'd been acting off toward Henry, but Henry hadn't acknowledged it until then. And hearing it out of Henry's mouth hurt. Lee hadn't meant to close himself off to even Henry— the last thing he wanted was to hurt Henry, yet, he knew he was, even just by keeping his problems to himself.

That scared him, too, because he didn't want to lose Henry. If everyone was given one good thing in their life, Lee knew his gift was Henry. But if he couldn't win against his mind, if he couldn't get himself together, he'd lose Henry. He knew he would. And Lee refused to let that happen. No matter what, that couldn't happen.

Lee promised himself he'd make it up to Henry on this vacation. Show Henry how much he appreciated him, needed him, loved him... all of it. And then, if all went to plan, they'd come back with their relationship stronger than ever. Lee believed in that.

*

Henry watched Lee, a sinking feeling forming in his stomach. Lee's face was pale, his fingers gripped the fabric of his slacks tightly, and sweat beaded at his forehead. Every few seconds Lee would glance at Henry, only to look immediately away when Henry met his gaze.

Something was off. Someone had been off.

Henry tried to ignore it, but his chest felt hollow.

"Do you regret the money you spent on this trip?" Henry blurted out, tensing in his seat a little. He'd seen the cost— it was more than Henry would ever spend on anything in his life all at one time. He'd tried to stop Lee from buying first-class, but Lee had been adamant on the extra space for such a long flight.

Lee's eyes snapped back to him, eyebrows furrowing. "No, why would you think that?"

"You look..." Henry wasn't sure how to put it without offending Lee. Lee had been sensitive these days. And while Henry didn't blame Lee for it, he lately felt like he was walking on eggshells around Lee.

Lee glanced down at the fingers gripping his slacks, immediately relaxing both his hands and his shoulders, and then placing both hands in his lap, keeping them still there. "Ah. No, it's not that."

"Are you worried about the flight, then?"

Lee nudged Henry in the side, a tired smile crossing his face. "Who do you think I am? Bennett?"

Henry frowned. "Then why do you seem so upset?"

"Do I seem that way?" Lee asked, pausing, then looked down at a lap, where his hands had now subconsciously curled into fists. "Oh. No, I'm not. I'm glad to be getting away from everything for a little bit."

Henry didn't look convinced. "You're really not upset...?"

"I just said I'm not," Lee responded in a tone Henry was not used to hearing from Lee.

"Okay," Henry said quickly, meekly, turning his attention to his phone.

Lee regretted it immediately. It had come out wrong. But he'd been distracted by Henry's question.

You're really not upset?

With me, was the unheard rest of the sentence, and it made Lee's heart ache. Lee already knew Henry was beginning to doubt Lee's feelings toward him, but he didn't want Henry to take the blame. It wasn't Henry's fault he closed himself off to everyone, preferring to face his stress alone.

In his own way, Henry had also begun to distance himself. Lee hadn't been kidding when he told Henley Henry would break up with him if he went off his own— Henry had drawn a line, thick, and permanent. Something he would have never said to Lee before. Lee knew Henry said it because he was worried about Lee, but it still took Lee by surprise.

Lee would never cross that line. Not voluntarily. He'd prove it to Henry he wouldn't, too. He didn't want Henry to feel insecure about their relationship. That was why Lee thought the first step to reaffirming his feelings toward Henry was this vacation. They'd talked about taking a big vacation together before. And Lee planned to make it one Henry would never forget.

But there were still things he kept from Henry. And he knew he had to tell Henry eventually. But not yet.

Angling his body toward Henry, Lee put his hand on Henry's thigh, squeezing it. "I've been looking forward to this Henry, really."

Henry didn't look up from his phone and just made a noncommittal noise in response, and Lee felt his heart sink.

Lee would have to double his efforts. He needed to put on a happier face. He had to prove to Henry he was okay. He had to.

*

When they arrived after the impossibly long flight, weariness wore at Lee's every bone, having been unable to sleep on the plane except for fitful bursts. Henry, on the other hand, had ended up curled up against Lee and slept most of the way, and now his eyes sparkled with excitement at the prospect of exploring, and Lee wouldn't give that up for anything. Not after their awkwardness on the plane. After they dropped off their luggage in their suite at the resort Lee had booked, Lee threw a convincing smile on his face, and suggested they go look for somewhere to eat and sightsee a bit.

Henry walked ahead of him, stretching out his arms, as Lee's trailed behind, his head pounding. He'd swallowed some ibuprofen already though, and he just needed to wait it out. When they found a restaurant, Henry explained the unfamiliar foods to Lee, animatedly, and proudly. Lee ordered almost everything Henry pointed out, to Henry's shock. But Lee wanted to try the food Henry was excited about.

Lee almost fell asleep multiple times while waiting for their order, managing to snap back into alertness every time Henry turned his attention back to Lee. When their food arrived, Lee could barely taste it, having to put all his effort into staying awake. He forced himself to eat, but couldn't convince himself to eat much. Henry looked concerned by Lee's lack of appetite, but didn't say anything, managing to put a huge dent in this food by himself though, which made Lee feel better that the food wasn't wasted.

In the bathroom of the restaurant, Lee splashed his face with ice-cold water. He didn't want to see that concerned look on Henry's face.

After eating, Henry wanted to look at some shops, and Lee agreed, even though each step he took felt heavier than the last. But it was their first day here. He wouldn't ruin it. He followed after Henry, shoving back the feeling of nausea. This was for Henry.

His plan worked— until he fell asleep while waiting for Henry to choose a pair of flip-flops, leaning against a stack of wooden boxes. Lee hadn't even realized it happened until Henry was shaking him awake, his eyes full of worry.

"Why didn't you tell me you were that tired?" Henry demanded.

"I'm fine," Lee assured him. "Did you choose a pair?"

"No. Let's go back to the hotel. What if you pass out again and get hurt?"

"We don't have to, I'm not that tired—"

Henry gave Lee a look that made him shut his mouth. "I want to go back."

Lee didn't argue, and together they went back to their suite, not saying anything.

Tomorrow, Lee promised himself. I'll be a better boyfriend.

*

Except the next day was the same. Even so far away from the office, Lee's sleep had been full of nightmares, from Bennett hating him, to the office burning down with everyone still inside, to Henry breaking up with him. He'd tossed and turned all night, sweating, and waking up to his stomach churning. He felt terrible as he dragged himself to the bathroom to brush his teeth, wanting to just climb back into the bed, and stay asleep.

But Henry already had the day planned. And Lee wouldn't ruin it. Especially since Henry had showered alone— a sign that maybe Henry was a little upset with Lee.

Lee took some ibuprofen and convinced himself to have a good day.

Except, every single second, his mind reminded him of everything he was trying to forget. Any second he stopped paying attention to Henry's voice, stopped taking in the beautiful sights in front of him, stopped focusing on each step he took, his thoughts strayed back. Back to that jail visitation room. Back to the office. Back to McKellan's. Back to...

Lee shook those thoughts away for the hundredth time. He needed to concentrate on enjoying his break. He had to be happy. He had to make Henry believe he was okay. He had to keep Henry happy. Lee had plans for them, but he needed to make sure they were okay first. Lee could do it. He plastered a smile on his face. Nothing else mattered. He had to at least pretend to be happy. He had to fix things with Henry.

But that kind of façade couldn't last, and Lee should have known that.

*

"What's wrong with you?"

Lee snapped out of the daze he was in, turning to Henry, who stood barely a foot away from him in the sand, his hands on his hips. Lee hadn't even realized they'd stepped onto the beach. His eyes scanned the area, surprised. Weren't they just on the paved road by the shops? When had they been swallowed up by the tree line of the beach? Now there was nothing around them but the blue sea and endless sand, enclosed by the forest. "Huh?"

Henry's eyes narrowed. "Do you not want to be here?"

"Of course I do," Lee answered immediately, frowning.

"Well, you seem like you rather be anywhere else than here," Henry said, clutching his arms to his chest now. "You don't seem interested in anything, Lee. You don't even listen to me half the time I'm talking. Not only today, but yesterday too, and the day before. Ever since we arrived here. Did I plan too many things? Am I annoying you?"

Lee shook his head immediately. "What? No, not at all, Henry."

"Then what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong," Lee said, and then forced himself to smile as he realized his lips were curved down.

Henry held his gaze. "I don't believe you."

"I'm doing everything you want to do," Lee said, hating the way his voice betrayed how tense he felt. "Why do you think something's wrong?"

Henry's hands clenched into fists at his side. "You just...you look like you're going through the motions. Of being here. Of having fun. Of being my boyfriend. Like this isn't what you want, but you're forcing yourself to do this."

Lee straightened out, dread coursing through him. "What?"

"You're not you," Henry told him, turning his head to the side, biting his lip. "You've felt like a stranger lately. I've tried to ignore it, I wanted us to be fine, but I can't take this anymore, Lee. I hate feeling awkward like this."

Lee felt like Henry had struck him. Lee was doing everything he could to make him happy, so why was Henry saying this? Lee reached for Henry's shoulder. "Wait, Henry. What do you mean? For us to be fine?"

Henry stepped back, avoiding Lee's touch. "I feel like you're going to break up with me any day. I'm scared this vacation is one you took me on as one some sort of last good deed before you end things. Like how you gave me a raise before you..." He cut himself off, biting his lip. "I tried to take it in stride. You breaking up with me is much better than you being unhappy with me. But then sometimes, I think maybe I'm being too sensitive, and you don't want to break up with me. But then every time you space out, I get anxious all over again."

"I didn't come here to break up with you," Lee said. "How could you even think that?"

"Because you're not telling me whatever you're thinking, Lee. What do you expect? I'm coming to my own conclusions because you're not being honest with me."

"What's bothering me has nothing to do with you."

Henry stared at Lee in disbelief. "Has nothing to do with me?"

Lee shook his head, stepping toward Henry again, lifting a hand to touch him. "No. This isn't something you need to be involved in."

Henry shoved Lee's hand away. "When was the last time you kissed me?"

Lee opened his mouth to answer, and a cold feeling washed over him when he realized he couldn't answer. Because he didn't know. Not any time during the week— or the week before. For how long?

"You're pushing me away," Henry accused. "And you don't even realize it, do you?"

Anxiety struck Lee and he forgot how to breathe for a second. No. This was the opposite of what Lee was trying to prove to Henry. He'd come here to prove they were okay, that Lee loved Henry, not this. "Henry, that's not—"

"Then what is it, Lee? Because I hate feeling like this," Henry responded, hunching his shoulders. "You don't have to think of me all the time. I don't expect that. I know you're under a lot of stress. But you're not just pulling away emotionally, but physically, too. I don't know what to think."

Lee reached out again and this time Henry didn't move away when Lee put his hands on his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Henry. I don't want you to feel that way. I love you. You have to know that."

Henry avoided Lee's gaze, dropping his chin toward his chest. "Yeah."

Lee took Henry's chin in one hand, tilting it back up at him. "I mean it, Henry. I love you. More than I thought I could ever love somebody. That will never change. It hasn't changed for the past eight years."

"Then tell me what's wrong," Henry said, his voice softening. "You can talk about it with me. Your problems are my problems."

Lee released Henry's chin from his grip. "I wanted to forget everything and just have a nice vacation."

"I want that, too. But if you're going to act like this the whole time, I don't want to be here."

Again, Henry's words cut into Lee, but he knew Henry was right. Lee wasn't handling this properly. He was a fool to think he could fake it. Of course Henry would notice— Henry knew Lee. He knew Lee too well.

Lee knew Henry, too. And Lee knew it wasn't too late to right things. "Can we walk and talk?"

Henry slipped his hand into Lee's. "Yes."

Lee told Henry everything. From what that woman said to him at the visitation center, to his attitude toward Bennett, to remembering his past abuse, to his shifting feelings, and to finally admitting he didn't want to work at the company anymore.

"...I keep thinking if I quit, I'll be happy," Lee said, and it was the first time he said it Henry, and the first time Lee knew for sure he'd never be happy again at the company.

He stopped, the realization hitting him full force. Sure, he'd hemmed and hawed about it. He'd spoken to Henley about it, decided he should leave. But after he left that day, he'd thought maybe a break was all he needed. He'd believed he'd be able to recharge and come back stronger. He wouldn't give up. He really thought once his mind cleared up, everything would be back to normal. But after saying those words out loud to Henry, he knew he'd been fooling himself before. He didn't want to go back.

Lee took a second to think. He thought about never returning back to the company, even after his vacation. And those feelings of anxiety lessened. A sense of relief filled him up, instead.

"I... I really do want to leave," Lee said, shocked, his hand going to his mouth. "I don't want to be there anymore. I can't stand it. All I can think of is bad memories when I'm there. When I'm home. When I'm here." The words were tumbling out now and he couldn't stop them. "I hate myself when I'm there. I hate everything. Now that I know the truth, the idea of working there makes me want to die even more than when I actually wanted to die."

Lee sucked in a breath, horrified about what he'd just admitted. He shouldn't have said that to Henry. He shouldn't have. Henry would freak out. He'd—

"Lee," Henry said, grabbing the sleeve of Lee's shirt, his eyes wide. "Quit your job."

Startled, Lee looked down at him, unmoving. "H-huh?"

Henry swallowed hard. "Quit your job. Just leave. I'll work again. I'll ask Bennett for a job back at the hotel. It doesn't matter what position. I'll go back. I can work, Lee."

"Henry—"

"I know I probably can't ever make the same amount of money you make, but I can take a second job if we need it. I'll find a way to make it work. Just leave, Lee. Leave that place."

Lee gently pried Henry's grip from his sleeve. "No, Henry. I'm not going to let you do that. I'm sorry." Anxiety began to dig into Lee again. He tried to quell it, swallowing. "I shouldn't have brought this up right now. I just wanted to have a good time with you and relax and I can't even do that. I'm just messing up everything, like everything else—"

"Lee!" Henry cut him off loudly. "Ignoring this conversation isn't going to help you. You needed to bring it up because it's clearly eating at you. I can tell it is. It has been for weeks. Keep talking to me about it. Don't make decisions on your own. We're a couple, aren't we? We can figure this out together. Don't push me away again. Please."

Henry was right. They needed to talk about it together.

But then Lee could remember the day that woman fired Henry. He remembered Henry's face. He remembered how upset Henry had been. How much better he seemed after deciding not to return, how happy he seemed knowing he could focus on his writing.

Lee stared at Henry for a moment before lowering his head, turning away, attempting to walk away from him. "Even if we talk about it, how can I give up a job with such a stable income? It's all I know. It's incredibly irresponsible to even consider leaving. We have bills."

Henry grabbed Lee's arm again, stopping him. "You being happy is more important than the money you make there. Don't ever weigh the benefits of a paycheck against your mental health. It's not worth it."

"I need to be able to support you. I'm the reason you lost your job and—"

"No, you're not. I'm the one who chose not to go back when my job was offered back to me. And I can go back to work. I have savings, too. I can support myself. I can support both of us. I will support both of us," Henry said, voice growing firmer. "If you want to leave the company, then leave, Lee. We'll be fine."

Lee shook free of Henry's grip again, closing his eyes. "I can't ask you to do that."

Henry grabbed the front of Lee's shirt, wrenching him toward him, making Lee's eyes fly back open. "Then I'll make you."

Lee blinked, startled at Henry's force. "How would you do that?"

"I'll tie you up and keep you prisoner so you can never go to work again."

Henry's words were so serious Lee almost believed them. Almost. The thing that ruined the moment was the fact that Henry's face was turning so red, it took everything in Lee not to squeeze his cheeks and then cover them in the kisses.

The tension broke. "That doesn't sound like a bad time," Lee said lightly.

Henry pursed his lips. "Lee."

Sighing, Lee made Henry release his shirt but kept ahold of his hand. "No, Henry. You want to work on your writing. I want to support you in that."

"I can work and write. That's what I've been doing for the last fourteen years."

"I can't ask you to do that—"

"You don't need to ask," Henry said. "I'm willing to do it. I'm willing to do anything if it makes you happy. And I know you're willing to do the same for me."

Lee swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling constricted. "That's..."

"We can figure it out, Lee. I... I want you back. I want us to love each other like before. I know with everything that has happened, not everything will never be like how it used to be, but we can still be. I'll help you forget the pain of whatever that horrible woman put you through. I'll help you make newer, better memories. It's not end-all if you quit your job. There's nothing wrong with you leaving."

Lee wanted that, too. There was nothing else that Lee wanted more than for them to go back to normal. And Lee knew it was on him to fix that. But Henry was willing to work with him.

"I want that, too," Lee told him. "More than anything."

"Then just quit. It'll be the first step."

"I should, shouldn't I?"

Henry nodded. "Yes. I know it seems like a huge deal to you, but I promise it won't be. It will be fine."

"I can't just not work," Lee pointed out.

"I've seen your bank account," Henry said, deadpan. "I think with your money alone, we'd be good for a pretty long time. And I have a decent amount saved up, too."

"That money will run out eventually, though."

"Then we won't live lavishly," Henry said simply. "No more fourteen thousand dollar flights."

Lee flushed. "I admit, they were a little excessive. But you're right. I have a good cushion of savings. I could definitely find a job before they ran out."

Henry nodded his head vigorously. "See? Just think about it. We can find a way for this to work out."

"But Bennett—"

"Can promote someone, or hire someone else. He will also want the best for you. I know he will."

Was that really fair to Bennett, though? Lee wasn't sure. But if Lee thought about Bennett being in his shoes, Lee knew he would do the same for him. He had done the same for him.

"No one will blame you," Henry said softly. "What happened to you is so wrong... it's only natural for you to want to be far away from that place. You can't beat yourself up over it. It's taking its toll on you, Lee, and I refuse to let it break you down anymore."

"That's why you shouldn't go work there either, Henry. You didn't want to go back for the same reason, right?"

Henry shook his head. "That's not it. I didn't want to go back because I refused to let Ms. Calloway use me to control you. That's the only reason why."

Lee didn't know what to say for a moment. "Henry..."

"That's why I'm okay with going back now," Henry continued. "It's not a problem. I'll ask Bennett when we get back what I could do."

Lee pressed his lips together. "We have enough savings. Maybe you don't have to go back to work..."

"No, I should. You won't be able to flip a switch on your lifestyle just like that, Lee. It'll take some time for you to adjust to a smaller income. So, in the meantime, someone will have to keep us from becoming homeless, right?" Henry prodded with a teasing smile.

Lee couldn't help but smile back at him. Then he pulled Henry to him, holding him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you, too. That's why I want you to choose the path that leads you to happiness. I just want you to be happy."

Lee pulled away from Henry, brushing a thumb across his cheek. "If you're with me, then I don't think I can be anything but happy."

"Then I have no choice but to stay with you, do I?" Henry responded, tilting his head to the side, pressing his cheek into Lee's thumb.

Lee leaned down, unable to resist kissing him. Although it hadn't gone exactly the way Lee had planned, Lee knew they were okay again. They were going to be fine. Henry tilted his head up in anticipation and Lee kissed him, their lips softly brushing against each other.

Although Lee wanted to kiss Henry more to make up for the weeks of neglecting him, he knew they were in a public place, and although secluded, anyone could intrude on them. He reluctantly separated from him.

"You always have a choice, though," Lee said, belatedly responding to Henry's words.

"Let me rephrase that, then," Henry said, running his hand down Lee's side before resting it on his waist. "Let me be self-indulgent and stay with you forever."

Lee's heart caught in his throat at Henry's words. Forever. The word had been exchanged between them before. And when Lee thought of forever, he didn't think of it as a long time, he thought of it as not enough time. There would never be enough time for Lee to spend with Henry.

He'd always thought forever with Henry. From the first moment he saw Henry into the hotel lobby, to seeing him standing in front of him now, smiling sweetly, his curly hair rustling in the gentle sea breeze.

It almost hurt how much he loved Henry. It did hurt. But that hurt was softened by a warmth that filled every bit of Lee. It overtook him, made him feel weightless, and made nothing else matter.

This was the moment. It felt right.

Nerves set in on him, the spike of adrenaline that hit him nearly knocking him over. He swayed on his feet for a moment and Henry reached out to steady him. "Did what I said make your knees that weak?" Henry joked, smiling, as he took Lee's hand in his again. "Here, hold my hand. You can use me for support."

Henry making jokes was rare. But Lee was too distracted to comment on that. His hands shook, his heart feeling ready to burst out of his chest, or maybe ready to just quit beating entirely. Was this how it was for everyone? He was both ready to pass out and alarmingly conscious. He had to remember how to breathe, afraid he'd have a heart attack before he got the words he wanted to say out.

Henry's comment about making Lee's knees weak was actually true, though. Lee's legs felt like they would give out as he slowly began to lower himself to one knee, never letting go of Henry's hand. Lee hated how he couldn't control his trembling hand, wondering if Henry could feel the sweat coating it. Henry's smile faded as his gaze followed Lee in Lee's descent.

"What... are you doing?" Henry said slowly, completely frozen.

In his pocket, Lee's free hand enclosed around the small, velvet box he'd been carrying nearly every day for the past month.

"You said you want to stay with me forever," Lee said, but could barely hear himself over the rushing in his ears. "I want that, too."

Henry didn't answer, sucking in a quick breath of air.

"I don't want you to ever feel insecure about our relationship again. I don't ever want to you to think I don't love you more than anything in this world. I don't know how else to express just how much I love you, and how much you mean to me," Lee said, his voice shaking, clenching Henry's hand in his. "Forever. I want you forever, too."

"Lee," Henry said, his voice just as wobbly as Lee's.

Lee pulled the ring box out of his pocket, letting go of Henry's hand to open it. "So, Henry... would you do me the honor of becoming my husband for that forever?"

The wind swept between them, making the hem of Henry's shirt flutter, revealing the bare skin of Henry's stomach. Lee couldn't help but compare the flutter of Henry's shirt to how Lee's heart felt. The silence stretched.

Why isn't he answering?

The fluttering turned to pounding. Lee's hand shook noticeably now as panic clawed up his throat. He messed up. This wasn't what Henry wanted. A hollow feeling spread through Lee's chest, overtaking him. He'd moved too fast. He hadn't even talked about this with Henry. Once again, he was just doing things on his own whim and now Henry would turn him down and everything they'd just fixed between them would be ruined again—

Henry suddenly crashed into him with such force Lee fell backward into the sand. The back of his head ricocheted off the sediment, his back saved from the impact only because Henry's arms were wrapped around him.

"Yes!" Henry breathed into Lee's ear. "Yes. Yes. A hundred times, yes."

A little out of breath and a little stunned, Lee just laid there for a moment, feeling Henry's warmth on top of him.

Henry stiffened as Lee stayed quiet, and then scrambled to push himself off Lee, putting a hand on either side of him so he could hover over Lee instead of crushing him. "Oh no, did I hurt you?"

Henry's face was flushed again. Lee was sure he matched. He smiled up at Henry, his eyes crinkling in the sun, lifting his hand to Henry's cheek. "Just a hundred times?"

"A thousand— no, a billion," Henry quickly corrected, looking serious. "No. What's higher than that? A trillion? Infinity—"

Lee carded his hand through the hair on the back of Henry's head, caressing him for a moment, before pushing his head down so Lee could kiss him again. Henry kissed back with much more enthusiasm, pushing Lee down into the sand.

As much as Lee would have liked it to last forever, he remembered again that they were still in public, and he begrudgingly parted from Henry. "We should stop. No one is around, but we better be safe than sorry."

Henry pouted a little but moved off Lee. "Let's go back to the resort then."

"What? But didn't you have other things planned for..." Lee trailed off as Henry slowly shook his head, holding Lee's gaze.

"I made new plans. And all involve you. Alone."

Suddenly the sun felt too hot. Lee pulled at the collar of his shirt, clearing his throat. "Yeah, let's head back. I could use something to drink." Trying to avoid the look Henry was giving him that did things to him, he turned his attention to the ground, realizing the black ring box was still in the sand. He hadn't even given the ring to Henry yet!

He leaned down to pick it up, mouth dropping as he realized the box was empty. He looked back up at Henry. "Henry..."

Henry reached for the box as Lee turned it toward him, and then Henry's hand fell to his side, his eyes widening. "It fell out?"

"It must have when we fell."

Henry carefully lowered himself into a kneeling position, scanning the area in front of him. "Don't move. It might get buried if we disturb the sand."

Nodding, Lee also cautiously knelt to the ground, hoping to glimpse the gold band resting atop the sand, and not buried anywhere. After a few moments though, Lee's heart began to sink. Of course he'd had to buy them gold rings. Why did it blend in so well?

Something went landed on the top of his head, and then another drop landed on his forehead. Henry looked up at him at the same time Lee turned to him. Then the sky opened up, and rain poured over them.

"Henry, let's just buy a new one—"

Henry shook his head, combing his fingers through the sand. "No. I want this one. You chose this one specifically for me. I haven't even seen it yet, but I love this specific ring."

A flash of lightning in the distance made Lee grow concerned. He was not about to allow Henry to get struck by lightning looking for this ring. "Come on, let's at least get under a cabana until the storm passes."

Henry ignored him, picking up handfuls of sand, and letting it slide through his fingers.

Another flash of lightning, followed by thunder, made Lee grip Henry's upper arm. "It'll be too dangerous."

"I'm not leaving until I find it."

Lee knew Henry's stubborn side and knew he wouldn't win this one. He went back to searching for the ring, paying attention to how much time passed between each flash of lightning and each roll of thunder. His shirt clung to him now, completely soaked.

This is the last time I'm proposing to someone on a beach, Lee thought to himself. Then the thought made him audibly gasp. "I don't plan on proposing to anyone else," he said out loud, making Henry glance up at him with a confused look.

"What?"

"Nothing," Lee said quickly, lowering his head and blushing.

And then he saw it. The lightning, now overhead, made the gold glint from where the ring lay half-buried in the sand. He snatched it up and then turned to Henry, shuffling over to him on his knees. "Stand up."

"But the ring—"

"I have it."

"What? Let me see—" Henry tried to reach for the ring, but Lee pulled it back.

"Stand up."

"Fine." Pushing his wet hair out of his face, Henry climbed to his feet, hovering above Lee. "Now what?"

Henry's glasses were covered with rainwater, basically blocking his eyes from view. Lee wouldn't have that. He wanted to watch Henry and see all of him as he did this. "...Take your glasses off."

"Huh? But then I can't see."

Stupid glasses... Lee stood back up, taking Henry's glasses off of him, and quickly drying them off on his shirt. Then he slid the glasses back on and knelt back down to one knee, holding out his hand, palm up. "Left hand."

Obediently, Henry held out his left hand, soaked from the rain, and covered in gritty sand. This time Lee's hands didn't shake as he slid the ring onto Henry's finger and he held it tightly when Henry tried to draw his hand back so he could look at the ring. "I didn't finish what I wanted to say. I never want you to feel like you don't own my heart completely. I—"

An incredibly loud crack of thunder made them both jump. and Henry began pulling on Lee's hand. "Let's go for now!" he called over the loudening sound of rain.

Part of Lee wanted to make Henry stay, just like how Henry had ignored Lee when Lee had said to go, but he wasn't willing to risk their safety for a bit of pettiness. They ran back down the beach together, heading toward where Lee parked their rental car.

Lee really hadn't realized just how far down the beach they'd gotten. How spaced out was he? No wonder Henry felt ignored.

By the time they returned to their suite, Henry was a soaked, shivering mass. His teeth chattered in the air conditioning of the room and Lee immediately went to turn it off.

But Henry couldn't be bothered by the feeling of the cold. His eyes never left the sight of the ring gleaming on his left hand. Even though his hand was shaking as much as Lee's had been when he proposed, Henry couldn't stop staring.

Lee had already discarded his wet shirt and pants when he realized Henry was still just standing there. He walked up behind Henry, wrapping his arms around Henry's waist. "It's not going to go anywhere, Henry. Come on. Get out of those clothes before you catch a cold. I'll start a hot shower."

"I love it, by the way," Henry said, finally looking away from the ring and over his shoulder at Lee.

Lee moved his head forward so he could kiss Henry. "Good."

"But where is yours? You bought one for yourself, too, right? A matching one?"

"Yes. I brought it with me. It's in my suitcase—" Henry escaped from Lee's arms and went directly to the suitcase, digging around for it. Lee watched for a moment, amused. "The small pocket in the bigger section."

Henry immediately went for the pocket and retrieved the ring identical to his. Pushing up from beside the suitcase he went back over to Lee, all of a sudden looking shy. "Can I..."

"Does it have to be when I'm standing here cold and in my underwear?"

Henry nodded.

Chuckling, Lee held out his left hand to Henry. "Okay."

Biting his lower lip, Henry fully concentrated on putting the ring on Lee's finger, inching it up, taking his sweet time. Lee once again was overwhelmed with affection for him, and once the ring was on, and after Henry pressed a soft kiss to his now ring-clad finger, he yanked Henry to his chest, making Henry cry out in surprise.

"I love you. I love you so much," Lee said, not even caring that Henry's clothes were cold and damp against his bare skin.

"I, I love you, too," Henry said, his shaking finally making his teeth chatter.

"You need to get out of those clothes, Henry."

"N-no. I want to stay here with you like this."

Lee gripped the bottom of Henry's shirt and pulled it over Henry's head, making Henry call out in protest. Henry folded his arms over his chest, mock-glaring at Lee. "We can still hug naked, you know. Should I take your pants off for you, too?"

Henry blushed. "Lee."

Lee put on a look of concern and reached for the buckle on Henry's pants. "I just want to make sure you don't catch a cold. I couldn't handle seeing my fiancé's vacation ruined because he got sick."

Henry's expression softened. "Fiancé?"

Then his pants dropped to the ground, ruining the moment, and he huffed at Lee again, making Lee chuckle.

"Okay, okay. Let's get in the shower. I can handle the rest myself," Henry said, backing away from Lee, heading toward the marble bathroom of the suite.

*

After they cleaned the cold and sand off themselves, Henry and Lee lounged together on the sofa that sat in front of tall glass windows that overlooked the sea, wearing fluffy white bathrobes the resort had supplied to them. Even though gloomy out, the view was still beautiful. Henry pressed himself into Lee's side, humming in content, and Lee rested his arm over Henry's shoulder in response.

"What made you want to propose to me?" Henry asked, then he gasped a little, turning his head up to look at Lee. "Not that I'm not happy! I'm really happy. I don't think I could be any happier at this moment."

Lee hesitated, and then pulled Henry fully into his lap, resting his chin on Henry's shoulder. "It's going to sound selfish and not very romantic. It might tarnish your memory of the proposal, too. But before I say anything, I want you to know that during the moment I proposed to you, none of what I'm about to tell you was going through my head, and it's not why I ended up doing it." Lee paused again. "Do you still want to hear it?"

Henry leaned back into him. "Yes."

Lee wrapped his arms around Henry's stomach, holding him tight. "...In a way, I feel like I am losing everything. I lost who I thought was my mother. I'm losing my company. I lost all sense of what I thought I knew. I lost the future I'd always expected. Even now, I feel like that. Just... lost."

Henry carefully adjusted himself in Lee's lap, twisting his body around so he sat sideways in it, so he could face Lee, his arms looped around Lee's neck. "Lee."

Lee wrapped his arm around Henry's waist again, not wanting to give up the contact. "And I thought I'd lose you, too."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I don't know why my mind keeps choosing worst-case scenarios and convincing me they're going to happen. I wanted to push everyone away. I wanted to keep them close. I thought you'd leave me. I thought you wouldn't believe in me anymore. Maybe part of me was right. Because you felt like I was putting distance between us."

Henry didn't say anything, instead, stroking the back of Lee's head.

"I couldn't bear the thought of losing you," Lee continued. "The company, fine. My mother, fine. But not you, Henry. I waited so long to be with you, I couldn't go back to not having you. So even though my mind kept telling me you'd leave, I fought back, wanting to keep you. And I thought the best way to keep you would be by marrying you. That way, even if you changed your mind..." Lee's voice dropped down into a shame-filled whisper, his eyes closing. "It would be hard for you to leave me."

Henry let his arms slide off of Lee's neck, falling down between them.

Lee's eyes shot back open, wide, and panicked. "I'm truly sorry, Henry," Lee apologized. "That's not a reason to marry someone. I'm so ashamed. I basically wanted to trap you. It's not right—"

"I want to be trapped by you, Lee," Henry said calmly.

"I— what?"

Henry took Lee's wrists into his hands, crossing them keeping them pinned together. He then moved so he straddled Lee's lap, pushing closer to him, keeping their hands pressed between their chests. "Because it goes both ways. I want to trap you, too. I want to have you for the rest of my life. I'm not going to let you go, either."

Lee's mouth went dry. "Oh."

"But I don't think the trapping part is necessary," Henry said, releasing Lee's wrists. "Although hearing you say that did give me goosebumps."

"It did?"

Henry pulled up the sleeve of his bathrobe, showing his arm, which was, indeed, covered in goosebumps. He was blushing, though. "I think I just realized something about myself."

Lee was confused. "Realized what?"

"We'll test it out at some other time."

"Test what out?"

"Nothing. But keep this in mind, Lee. You can tell me anything. If you're having a bad day, if your mind is fighting against you, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. If you have any doubt about my feelings, ask me. I'll reassure you in as many ways as I can."

Lee knew he said it so many times already, but damn it, he really loved Henry.

*

Later that night, Henry sat on the sofa again, knees to his chest, arms wrapped around them as Lee came back from picking up dinner. They'd decided to spend the night in, preferring to enjoy each other's presence in the wake of such a monumental action. Just as Lee was about to announce he was back with the food, he caught the sound of a subtle sniffle. He immediately dropped the food on the counter, crossing the room to Henry, stopping in front of him. "Are you crying?"

Henry took off his glasses, wiping his eyes, but keeping his head down. "Ugh. Sorry. I didn't hear you come in. I guess it all just caught up to me."

"You can tell me if you don't want this—"

"That's not what I meant," Henry interjected, the tears in his red-rimmed eyes ruining any effect of scolding as he looked up at Lee. "You weren't the only one feeling worried. I thought I might lose you, too. I thought you'd leave me, too. Like maybe I was playing a part in your unhappiness."

Lee crouched down in front of Henry. "That would never be true."

"I know it isn't," Henry said with a watery smile, holding up his left hand. "Because we're engaged now."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because," Henry started, then paused to swallow. "I'm so happy and relieved."

Lee tackled Henry then, pushing him down onto the sofa, and kissing his salty, tear-stained cheeks. "I am, too. I love you."

"Get off me," Henry complained, pushing at Lee's chest.

Lee easily remained in place. "Not until these cheeks are dry."

"Argh."

*

"When we get married... can I take your last name?"

The question made Henry nearly choke on his sinigang. "What?"

"I just..." Lee trailed off, not sure how to explain his feelings, idly stirring his own soup. He didn't regret being raised as a Calloway. He would never take for granted how privileged he'd been to grow up with that family name, to not have gone without anything he needed, to have access to healthcare, to dental care, to dermatologists.

But it was her name. It wasn't Lee's. Lee didn't want it anymore. And he wouldn't let Henry become part of it, either.

"Lee, I'm okay with whatever you want to do. But make sure your decision isn't coming from an emotional standpoint," Henry said. "Be sure about what you want to do."

"Do you think I should take my family name back? My surname before it was changed to Calloway?"

Henry chewed his food slowly, thinking. After he swallowed, he nodded. "That might not be a bad idea. What was it?"

"Cohen."

"Hmm. Lee Theodore Cohen."

Lee frowned. "It doesn't sound good, does it?"

"Lee Theodore Arceo?"

"I definitely like the idea of us sharing a last name."

Henry smiled. "I do, too."

"How does Henry Cohen sound?"

"Very... I'm picturing like, a buff white guy. Who's famous. And has long hair."

Lee considered Henry for a moment, making an appreciative sound.

Henry slammed his spoon down. "I don't like that look you're giving me."

"I'm just thinking you are way more my type than some buff white guy."

Henry eyed Lee for a moment more before returning to his soup. "Good."

"I think I want to take your last name."

"We don't have to decide right away."

"What?"

Henry glanced at him, taking another bite of soup. "Why do you sound so disappointed? We don't have to rush."

"I want to marry you as soon as possible. Right now, if I could."

This time Henry did choke on his soup. Alarmed, Lee quickly walked around the table to rub his back. Using a napkin to wipe his mouth, Henry blinked up at Lee. "Shouldn't we enjoy our engagement for a while, first?"

"Isn't a few weeks enough?'

"You're that excited to marry me?"

Lee crouched down, eye-level with Henry. "Henry. Do you realize I have loved you for eight years? And out of those eight years, during half of them, I knew I couldn't even marry you if I wanted to. When the Marriage Equality Act was signed into law, I almost wanted to ask you right then and there to marry me."

Henry furrowed his eyebrows. "But at that point, we still were just getting to know each other."

Lee nodded solemnly. "I know. I've been crazy about you this entire time. I fell for you at first sight. I have done my waiting. And I want to marry you."

Henry put his hand to Lee's face, pushing him back. "Ah, enough! My heart is racing. I think I might have a heart attack if you keep saying things like that."

Lee rested on his knees, hugging Henry, pressing his cheek into Henry's ribs. "You're just going to have to deal with it. You're stuck with me for a week and a half more, and I plan on making up for all those days where you felt I didn't love you by loving you ten times as much."

Henry stiffened under Lee's arms. "I don't know if I can handle that..."

"Don't worry. When we're out exploring you'll be safe because I want to respect everyone on the streets."

He relaxed a little. "Oh, okay—"

"But that's if I let you leave the suite."

"Um, what? But I made an itinerary..." Henry said nervously.

"Didn't you say something about finding out something about yourself earlier? After mentioning you wanted me to trap you?"

Henry turned red, and his teeth grit together, and Lee knew he'd pushed the teasing a little too far. So, he let Henry gently smack him away.

Lee grinned, standing up. "I'm just kidding. I know how excited you were to come here. Let's follow your itinerary. And I promise to be a more attentive partner this time."

"You already seem to be in a better mood," Henry commented, carefully raising his spoon to his lips.

Lee's eyebrows raised. Did Henry think he would say something surprising and make him choke again?

Lee was tempted. He was sorely tempted. But he'd let his poor boyfriend— fiancé, eat in peace. "Yes, I do. I suppose, deep down, I've always wanted to quit ever since... ever since I made an attempt," Lee admitted. "And then I went back, only for Bennett. Always only for Bennett. But I need to do this for me this time. For us."

Henry smiled at him. "I'll be right by your side, Lee. It will be okay. And everyone will definitely understand."

"I hope they will," Lee said quietly.

When he got back, he would go to Bennett first. If Bennett was okay, then nothing else mattered. Lee would leave that day. He'd pack up his stuff and never look back.

But that was when he got back.

For now, he still had ten more days to relax in Boracay with his fiancé.

Author's Note #2

Surprise! Our boys are engaged. I hope you felt as surprised as Henry.

This art is by Vanrieto on Twitter, and it's so beautiful 😭

Also, if you didn't know!!! The Philippines has been hit by a super typhoon. My friend who lives in Cebu says there might not be electricity back for a month. Their supplies are rising high in cost because they're limited. People have lost their entire houses. My friend's house lost all their glass walls, with no insurance for them! If you can, check out some ways to support the residents! Twitter has lots of donation links. Unfortunately, Wattpad doesn't let you add permalinks, so I can not add my own here.