translator: baumkuchen editor: serefina
The plagiarism incident was only the opening act of Cheng Yuanâs tragic fate.
After Yang Baihua returned home and finished listening to Cheng Yuanâs miserable sobs, he placed his hands on his shoulders, saying, âXiao Cheng, calm down.â
Cheng Yuanâs eyes reddened. âOld Yang, believe me, you have to believe me.â
Yang Baihua said, âOf course I believe you.â
Cheng Yuan tugged at Yang Baihua, repeatedly trying to prove himself to him and asking for help, âYou saw me write those songs, right? I even let you listen to them, I even......â
Yang Baihua took his hand in his and pressed it to his chest, âI know.â
Cheng Yuan trembled as he leaned into that warm and solid chest, like a someone who had finally found a support in the constantly changing world.
As he listened to that ever-so-close heartbeat, his ears became hot and numb, and he felt as if this was his only safe harbour in the entire world.
Now with reassuring support, Cheng Yuanâs bloodshot eyes filled with fierce flames. He weakly gnashed his teeth, saying, âI canât just let this go. I want to sue Tang Huan, I want...â
Yang Baihua stilled.
He stroked Cheng Yuanâs back. âXiao Cheng, youâre being too impulsive. You shouldnât be making decisions right now.â
But Cheng Yuan couldnât care less about that right now.
He was suffering from a severe migraine. Before Yang Baihua had come back heâd taken two tablets, but they were slow to take effect. The headache and the anger combined tormented him to the point where his entire body was trembling and he was drenched in cold sweat. âWhy? Itâs my song, I canât just let her steal it and frame me for everything.â
Yang Baihua furrowed his eyebrows and pushed him away, raising his voice slightly, âXiao Cheng, calm down and listen to me. You canât sue her.â
Cheng Yuan wordlessly opened and closed his mouth. He stared at him, waiting for an explanation.
Yang Baihua sighed deeply, â......This matter is Xiaoyanâs wrong.â
Yang Baihuaâs younger cousin Yang Xiaoyan had been entrusted to Yang Baihua by his third uncle when she had been admitted into an average normal university half a year ago.
She often came over to Yang Baihuaâs house for meals. She was the first one in the Yang family to find out her older cousinâs sexual orientation, and often used the excuse of âkeeping the secretâ to get Yang Baihua to treat her to several large meals.
All the members of the Yang family had good appearances. Yang Xiaoyan similarly couldnât be considered ugly with a white, neat, melon-shaped face. She liked music, and also liked to compose a few small tunes to publish on the internet since the lyrics she added could arouse the sympathy of beautiful and distressed young girls. Sheâd even accumulated almost ten thousand fans. This made her rather proud of herself, flaunting herself as a woman of talent.
But Cheng Yuan actually didnât really like her.
Every time she visited, sheâd stick to Cheng Yuan, asking him how much one of his songs could sell for and if he had any connections in the music business. Cheng Yuan didnât like hearing about such things and would just haphazardly wave it off every time. However, Yang Xiaoyan would never get the hint and would even act spoiled with Yang Baihua, complaining, âCousin, look, Xiao Cheng-geâs family has connections but he wonât even help me out a little. Iâm so helpless.â
Xiaoyan lived in a four-person dorm and her three roommates were all from the city. She refused to lose to them, and would constantly splurge on high quality makeup and branded clothes.
Given these spending habits of hers, of course her money was never enough. She could only frequently search out Yang Baihua to borrow more, who really gave it every time she asked. He never refused, not even once. Because of this, there was once when he didnât even dare to order anything other than plain rice from the company canteen for an entire month.
Seeing this, Cheng Yuanâs heart had hurt beyond compare. It was at that time that heâd started learning how to cook.
Cheng Yuan stared blankly at Yang Baihua. He asked, confused, âWhat did you say?â
Yang Baihua patiently explained, âJust now, right after we hung up, Xiaoyan called. Do you remember? Last time when mom, dad and third sister came to visit, youâd went elsewhere to stay. Her phone ran out of battery, so she borrowed my phone to look through Taobao. As she was flipping through the stores, she accidentally started playing the demo you wrote. She really liked what she heard and asked me if it was you who wrote it, praising you non-stop.â
Cheng Yuanâs eyes widened slightly.
Yang Baihua summoned up his courage and continued, âI didnât think too much of it at the time. I told her you wrote it, and that you liked to write some songs every once in a while. She just hummed in acknowledgement and went back to playing. I never thought that she would......â
Cheng Yuan understood. Not daring to believe his own words, he asked, âShe stole my songs and sold them? You just let her steal them?â
âDonât put it like that,â Yang Baihua said helplessly, âI didnât know, and Xiaoyan...... she just really likes your songs. She told me that she didnât have enough money and wanted to earn some herself. However, the songs she wrote werenât being accepted by any record labels, so she just wanted to try mixing your songs with hers and sending them in as a test. She never thought that once she sent them in they would all be accepted and the six songs would be bought in an instant.ãInnermost Feelingsã and ãAutumn Thoughtsã...... were picked up by Tang Huan.â
âShe âjust really likes my songsâ?â Cheng Yuan flared up with rage. âShe asked me once what I planned on naming my songs. I told her Iâd thought up a name for one song in particular and itâd be called ãInnermost Feelingsã.â
He grabbed his phone, turned it on, and showed Yang Baihua the line from the cover of Tang Huanâs album. â......Old Yang, I ask you, what is this?! Did she even copy the name? This is what you call unintentional?â
â......Youâve written so many messy songs and never sent them out. She never thought it would end up like this.â Yang Baihuaâs tone had become abnormally heavy. He reached out a hand and grabbed Cheng Yuanâs wrist, âShe never thought itâd get so big. When she called me, she was really scared and even cried.â
Cheng Yuan thought numbly, who cares that she cried.
Yang Baihua painstakingly persuaded, âShe already knows she was wrong. But sheâs still young, and you should forgive her. If you sue her and the situation gets even bigger, what will it be like for her at school? How would I explain this to my family?â
Cheng Yuan felt as if he had been splashed with a bucketful of cold water. He grabbed Yang Baihua and whispered in pain, â&#k2026;&#k2026;Then what about me? What do I do? How am I supposed to live after this?â
Yang Baihua gently stroked Cheng Yuanâs face. âIt will be fine, I believe in you. Those people on the internet donât know the true story, and are just talking nonsense. As long as you ignore what they are saying online, they canât hurt you.ân/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
Cheng Yuanâs entire life had been smooth-sailing up to this point, and never faced any big crisis. This incident was like a sudden landslide. His mind had become completely muddled, and Yang Baihuaâs firm tone swayed him. â......Really?â
âYes,â Yang Baihua patiently guided him, âThink about it, since she was young my parents have treated Xiaoyan like their own child. If our relationship is exposed to them because of Xiaoyanâs matter and Xiaoyanâs reputation is dragged through the mud, then as the main perpetrator, how are they going to accept you?â
Cheng Yuan hugged his head, curling up into a ball.
â......Why?â Cheng Yuan muttered, âWhy......â
His lifeâs desire, his dream of making music, was ruined.
Furthermore, his lover was firmly standing on the side of his family. If he didnât agree to take the responsibility for Xiaoyan, his and Yang Baihuaâs future together would be over.
His lover or his dream, which one was he supposed to choose?
Cheng Yuan had been very obedient since he was young, and other than music, he didnât have any hobbies. Yang Baihua was the very first person that Cheng Yuan had ever loved like this.
To love a person was to carefully place them within your heart, yet fear that your heart wouldnât be soft enough for them.
Yang Baihua was very good and gentle to him. He would coax him when his temper as an artist flared up, he was down-to-earth, diligent, and they were very compatible in bed.
Cheng Yuan couldnât bear to rip open his bloody chest right after experiencing a tempestuous storm that tore his tendons and broke his bones, and forcefully dig out this man who he had loved for three years.
He couldnât do it.
Cheng Yuan grabbed hold of Yang Baihuaâs shirt and tugged. He asked softly, âWith this kind of reputation, how will I write songs? Will there be anyone who still wants me?â
Yang Baihua, hearing him give in, unconsciously breathed a big sigh of relief.
He pulled Cheng Yuan into his embrace. âI want you.â
......This actually wasnât the answer Cheng Yuan had wanted.
But this was also the best, and only answer he could get at this stage.
Cheng Yuanâs company quickly issued a statement severely condemning such vile acts of plagiarism, and even firmly terminated Cheng Yuanâs contract while demanding compensation for this breach of contract.
At this critical moment, Cheng Yuanâs older brother Cheng Jian ran over in a rage, pointing at his younger brotherâs nose and scolding harshly, âCheng Yuan, can you endure this? Something this big happened but you still didnât contact your family? If you donât consider yourself a part of the Cheng family, you should say so earlier!â
Cheng Yuan didnât respond.
His reputation had already rotted. Since heâd already decided to cover up the truth, he had to hide everything from even his family.
After scolding him, his brother helped him pay the fine, then spent money to delete the posts online. Still frustrated, he even started to fight online personally with the people scolding him.
The netizens, noticing that their comments were being deleted, fought back even harder. The situation became more and more heated. Tang Huanâs company also hadnât given up on all this free publicity, and started to wantonly buy internet water armies and made marketing posts, boosting the flames from behind the scenes. Amongst them, a particular online singer with over half a million fans was the most fierce. He was a famous Tang Huan fan who sent six to seven Weibo posts a day chasing after Cheng Yuan to ridicule him.
A particular post said: âThe plagiarising dog probably should be hiding under his bedsheets and trembling in fear now [doge face][doge face][doge face]â
Underneath was a mad carnival of Tang Huan fans, their comments full of obscenities horrendous enough to make people feel sick.
Cheng Yuan was really scared. He shut off his private messages, shut off his phone, and confined himself in his home. Yang Baihua was patient with him, but he had just started work and didnât have that much time to accompany him every day.
Cheng Yuan thought that after this was over everything would be okay. If he just stuck it out for now, he could still make a comeback.
But afterwards, Cheng Yuan found out he could no longer write songs or even touch the piano. The moment he pressed a key he would think of ãInnermost Feelingsã, the piano prelude he had so meticulously composed, and his heart would throb so fast his hands would shake with nausea. He couldnât even play a complete song.
After many, many attempts, he suddenly raised both fists and smashed them onto the piano.
The piano let out two groans, one high, one low.
Cheng Yuan, a genius who had, in college, single-handedly propped up an entire orchestra, couldnât even playãOde to Joyãanymore.
That day, he collapsed to the floor and cried for a very long time.
After Yang Baihua got back, he hugged him and comforted, âIf you canât write, itâs fine. Iâll take care of you.â
Yang Baihua remained as gentle as he always was, as if what Cheng Yuan was going through wasnât anything big and that he would stay with him and stick it out together with him.
But Cheng Yuan became more and more abnormal.
He would often spend entire days just sitting by the bed not knowing what to do; even a bit of sunshine would frighten him; he spent long periods of time refusing to eat and then overeating; he often forgot where he put his keys and wallet, and the notes on the table had been left without an update for a long time.
He knew he was sick, but when he told everything to Yang Baihua, the man just replied, âYouâre just in a bad mood, as long as you go out more often youâll be fineâ.
After more than three months, the Cheng Jian whoâd had a big quarrel with his younger brother couldnât hold back any longer and sneakily ran over to visit him.
Seeing his younger brother whoâd thinned to the point of becoming almost unrecognisable, Cheng Jian had a shock and dragged him off to see a psychiatrist.
When Cheng Jian took Cheng Yuanâs diagnosis of moderate clinical depression to show to their parents, their mother burst into tears on the spot.
Their healthy son had become like this. Their father immediately made an attempt to contact Yang Baihuaâs parents, planning on asking what they thought.
It wasnât until they met with the shocked faces of Yang Baihuaâs parents did Cheng Yuanâs parents realize, from the beginning till now, Yang Baihua had never mentioned to his family about him being in a relationship with a man for the past three years.
Cheng Yuanâs parentsâ attitude was very clear: The environment within the country wasnât good, so they wanted to send Xiao Yuan to a small, quiet town abroad, where there was a hospital that specialized in treating depression, to rest.
Given how sick Xiao Yuan had become, he couldnât leave Yang Baihua, so Yang Baihua was allowed to come along. His work visa or immigration papers would be handled by the Cheng family.
That small town was in Europe, where same-sex marriage had been legalised more than ten years ago.
From Cheng Yuanâs parentsâ actions, it could be said that they made a great concession for their son.
Cheng Yuanâs parents originally thought that Yang Baihuaâs parents would oppose it and had already prepared a whole string of arguments to persuade them, but after going home to discuss it for a night, Yang Baihuaâs parents agreed the very next day.
Cheng Yuan and Yang Baihua immigrated over together.
In their second year overseas, Cheng Yuanâs illness took a turn for the better. He could play the piano again. When he sat down on the piano bench once more, his smile was just like that of a young child. âOld Yang, what song do you want to listen to? Iâll play it for you.â
That year, they got their marriage certificate and had a simple wedding in a church.
In the third year, Yang Baihua made great progress with his career. He proposed immigrating his parents over. Cheng Yuan agreed.
In the fourth year, Yang Baihua became more and more busy. One day when he came home, Cheng Yuan found that his shirt wasnât the same one as the one he had worn when he had left yesterday.
Cheng Yuan started taking medicine again.
He didnât know how to ask Yang Baihua about it, and more importantly, he didnât want to know the answer. As for Yang Baihuaâs parents, they were always indifferent towards him. Their attitude towards him couldnât be considered bad, but it couldnât be considered good either. Even though they were all living under the same roof, they tended to not speak more than two sentences to each other every day.
Yang Baihua was too busy, so Cheng Yuan just spent his days at home with two elderly people he couldnât speak to. He was desperately lonely.
However, he didnât want to let his parents worry about him, so every time his parents called he would always force out his most brilliant smile and say to them, âIâm doing great, you donât need to worry.â
Actually, he wasnât doing very well.
After he relapsed he kept wanting to die, but at the same time he didnât dare to die. He was scared of wronging his parents and hurting Yang Baihua, so for them, he tried his best to live and tried his best to stand up from the quagmire.
He wasnât afraid of being covered in muddy water himself. He only feared accidentally dirtying the people he cared about.
This lasted until one day, Yang Baihua took a day off work. Cheng Yuan had planned on taking the car to the supermarket two kilometers away to buy groceries, but returned because heâd forgot his wallet, and inadvertently overheard the conversation between Yang Baihua and his mother at the kitchen door.
Yang Baihuaâs mother complained, âYou donât understand, Xiao Cheng is like a gourd thatâs had its mouth sawed off, itâs a miracle if he speaks more than five sentences in two days.â
Even after so many years, Yang Baihuaâs tone was still just as gentle, âXiao Cheng doesnât like talking, mom, donât be angry at him.â
Cheng Yuan lowered his head in embarrassment.
......Actually, he used to love talking.
As he thought this, he tiptoed over to the table to get his wallet. Just as he turned around to leave, he heard Yang Baihuaâs mother say behind him, âWeâve all already gotten our immigration visas ready, when are you going to leave him?â
Cheng Yuan: â......â
His neck turned stiff. He lowered his head, blankly staring at the floor before his feet, waiting for Yang Baihuaâs answer.
Yang Baihua was silent.
Cheng Yuan felt his silence like a vice around his throat, choking him so hard he couldnât breathe.
Yang Baihuaâs mother continued, âBeing together with a man, and unable to have a child together isnât normal. Your father and I have had to lie to our relatives, saying youâre working overseas, and everyoneâs praising you for your prospects. Two days ago, your uncle called, asking your father to bring back some western tobacco and wine. He even asked after you, asking if you found a foreign wife and had a foreign kid. Tell me, how am I supposed to respond to that?!â
Her words were like knives, stabbing themselves one by one into Cheng Yuanâs body. His entire body started trembling uncontrollably, and his stomach twisted with pain.
He bent over slightly, hugging his waist that had already slimmed to the length of a sheet of paper, pressing as hard as possible.
âYouâd be able to accept a foreign daughter-in-law?â Half a moment later, Yang Baihuaâs warm voice resounded once more. âSome time ago, a new woman entered our company, and sheâs Chinese. She and I get along really well.â
In the midst of her satisfaction, Yang Baihuaâs mother thought of another problem. âWhat are you going to say to Xiao Cheng?â
This time, Yang Baihuaâs silence lasted even longer.
Cheng Yuan didnât wait to hear Yang Baihuaâs answer, but he also didnât let Yang Baihua be troubled for too long.
That night, in the piano room, he slit open his wrists with a utility knife.
So, in the beginning when Chi Xiaochi wanted to run Yang Baihua over with the car, he was being entirely sincere.
Yang Baihua liked Cheng Yuan, but in the end, it was only like.
His goodwill level of 72 points was only 13 points away from the passing mark of indifference. His âlikeâ was ultimately only worth a card, and a firework.
Chi Xiaochi returned home with Yang Baihua.
The living room table was covered with newspapers. Occasionally, the sound of Yang Baihua on the phone drifted over from the other room.
Chi Xiaochi changed into casual clothes. He then went into the kitchen, rolled up his sleeves, and got started on the unwashed dishes that had been piling up for two days.
When he was relaxed, Chi Xiaochi usually had an absent-minded expression. He stood in front of the sink clogged with pieces of leftover vegetables, his eyes half-lidded. He let the water slide down his long, slender, white fingers, his posture languid and peaceful, exuding a noble air and perfectly complementing Young Master Chengâs identity.
But his dishwashing technique was abnormally well-practiced, not at all like a person whose ten fingers had never been stained by the sun or touched by spring water.
The system asked him, âYou know how to wash dishes?â
Chi Xiaochi replied, deadly earnest, âI even know how to cook.â
The system didnât believe him. After all, whenever Chi Xiaochi seemed serious, he usually wasnât.
Because in the next second he asked with that same earnest look on his face, âRight, does the shop sell rat poison?â
âNo,â The system snapped.
He now harboured the suspicion that Chi Xiaochi was so enthusiastically doing housework just so he could scout the scene of his future crime.
Chi Xiaochi said, âThereâs something I want to ask.â
The system was expressionless. â......Oh.â
Chi Xiaochi suggested, âCould you do an inventory check? Your customer requires it.â
The system said, âCannot.â
Chi Xiaochi said, âRat poison.â
The system: â......â Dare I ask if that rat just so happens to weigh one hundred and thirty jin, and also happens to be surnamed Yang?
The system wasnât able to bear it any longer: âMister Chi, donât you have any less violent solutions?â
âI do have one.â Chi Xiaochi leisurely wiped off the clean dishes with a dry cleaning cloth and placed them back on the shelf. At last, he finally said something normal, âTomorrow, Iâm going to go visit Cheng Yuanâs older brother.â
The author has something to say:
You see that person? Their mouth says they love me, but they still let me be so upset.
ââãThe Thirty-Five Years I Waited for Youã
This chapter made me so sad T_T
Iâve cried every single time I read it (but this time I was crying for a different reason.... orz)
On happier news, I got my first Ko-fi yesterday! Thank you, Somebody~~