"Goodbye, Ying Yue," he whispered.
Goosebumps were beginning to form on my arms. I almost shivered at the silk-like voice against my ears.
"Goodbye, Your Majesty," I replied. I cleared my throat soon after. "Also, watch out for the Mongolians... They... they invade years later."
Why did I say that?
The Emperor knitted his eyebrows at me and gave me a weird look. "I will..."
We gave each other one last look before he turned around and walked away. I watched him walk, and when he was at a distance, I turned around and opened the doors. He didn't look back. I was glad he didn't. My heart hurt and not because I loved him, but because I'd leave a place that I had too many memories in.
I was the Empress, for goodness sake, of course, it hurt to leave this place.
When I stepped into the bathhouse, the ingredients were already infused with the steamy water. The pair of clothes I wore before was folded neatly on the ground. I still kept my designer shoes. I always had my Gucci shoes on.
They were worn out but I liked it like that. This pair of shoes have been with me ever since I woke up here. I grew out of it, it wasn't my type of thing anymore. But, I will forever keep it with me because these shoes carried a lot of significance.
Jaxon had the same look on his face. He wanted to tell me something... He pitied me almost. As he buttoned his jeans, he turned to face me. "Carmen, it's not too late to just stay. You can go home anytime."
"Jaxon, you know that I can't," I shook my head. "I..."
He realised I was noticeably upset. My eyes were watery when I walked in. The Emperor was walking away, and so was I. It wasn't as sad as it was supposed to beâI could come back anytime. Just thinking about only seeing the Emperor once a few times hurt me. There was an aching feeling in my heart that I've never felt before.
Jaxon broke the silence. "If you want to stay, you are allowed to stay. No one is holding you back. We can go back so you can see your family. After that, you are allowed to come back."
"You realise that if I stay here... If I choose this destination, it will be the biggest change in my life? I don't know if I can do this," I shook my head. Tears rolled down my cheeks and Jaxon rushed to comfort me. "I-I don't know what to do."
"Carmen," he pulled away. He looked me in the eyes with a stern look on his face. This was not an 'I'm-in-love-with-you' Jaxon. This was an 'I'm-a-friend' Jaxon. "Do you love him?"
I couldn't respond. I was so choked up in my tears, that I ended up speaking nonsense.
"Look at me," he slightly nudged me. "Do you love the Emperor? Tell me the truth."
So I did.
I slowly nodded. I looked away from Jaxon, wishing I never said anything. I didn't know how to feel. My heart hurt and my mind was racing with ideas and thoughts. I was afraid for myself. The Emperor had treated me so well... The times I've felt alive, were in this place. I didn't care about spending my life back at home anymore. This was my home. This was my future. Me being the Empress of ancient China was the best thing that could've possibly have happened to me. I knew I had to go back because Jaxon couldn't without me. I needed to tell my family and tell Cherry.
But this was a drastic change for me. This was a change that could either make or break me. Before this, I wanted so badly to go home, but now, I want to stay. I love the Emperor. I know I did because I was in front of Jaxon, having second thoughts about leaving.
"The Emperor said you can go back home with that pin," Jaxon softly spoke. "He said you can come back here... Carmen, I just want you to be happy."
I sighed. There was nothing left to say now. I knew what I had to know. Slowly, I looked up at Jaxon who stayed quiet. My desperate eyes caught his attention as he cocked an eyebrow. He looked at me with such seriousness in his tone, that I couldn't make a joke to cope with my situation.
This was it.
I hugged Jaxon. I felt his hand rubbing circles on my back. "Thank you... S-So I should tell my family and then come back here?"
"Yes, that's the plan," he replied. "But you need to hurry up and tell him that you love him. You need to tell him. I'll be here. I'll wait for you."
While nodding my head, I wiped away the tears and sniffed my snot back in. "Thank you. I-I won't take long."
"Don't worry."
So I rushed. I dashed out of the bathhouse, almost tripping down the stairs. I spotted the Emperor, his back was turned against me as he walked alone. My heart was racing, pounding against my chest as I did something I haven't done for so long.
I ran. I ran as fast as I could. My breaths were jagged and heavy, and I felt as if I was about to collapse. This reminded me of when I ran a year ago during the winter. I bumped into the Emperor and we collided. The tension between us was strong at that time. I ran with those thoughts lingering in my head. "Your Majesty! Your Majesty!"
He couldn't hear me. I was losing faith in myself and I started to have second thoughts. Perhaps this was the Universe telling me to move on. But I didn't want to move on. I knew I couldn't move on. I love him. I want him. I was going to get him.
When I reached him, my hand gripped his shoulder. I spun him around. The Emperor furrowed his eyes at me. Before he could process anything, I tip-toed, grabbed his face, and gave him a longing kiss on the lips. To my surprise, he didn't stop me. His hands slowly found their way to my waist and he kissed me back.
Without hesitation, we were making out in broad daylight. I was soon out of breath and I was the first to pull away. My eyes were watery, his were too. I didn't know what to say, but I shouldn't expect him to start the conversation. He was confused.
"I'll stay. I'll stay, Your Majesty," I said, out of breath. "I'll go back home, I'll explain this to my family. I'll do anything to stay with you..."
The joy in the Emperor's face was alarming. He tried to hide it but his eyes glistened. "That's... That's great! Ying Yue, Iâ"
"Only on one condition." I interrupted.
"What is it? Anything. I'll do anything," he breathed. He pulled me into an embrace which didn't last long because I pulled away.
This was the deal-breaker. This ultimatum would either make or break our relationship. If the Emperor refused to do this, then I would leave and live in the modern world. It'll hurt me, but I had to. I was struggling to get the words out of my mouth because I didn't want to be rejected.
The Emperor had already built me a grand palace. He defended and protected me with all the love in his heart. He went against the officials just so I could remain sitting on my throne. He loves me. He told me he loved me. Even when I thought I didn't love him back, he still crowned me as Empress. There were many things the Emperor has done to make me feel safe. I couldn't ignore these facts. I loved him and I wanted to be with him. But there was just something I neededâsomething that many emperors usually denied participating in.
I wanted to be the only person who was in the Emperor's heart.
"Monogamy is practiced more where I'm from," I smirked. My hands were shaking. "There are no concubines. None. I want you to love me and only me. I want you to show your loyalty to me, and never accompany any other woman."
The Emperor pursed his lips. He paused for a few seconds, gazing away from me. After, he looked back at me and chuckled. "Are you going to give me children, then?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"I wouldn't dare touch another woman besides you, if that's what you want," he solemnly spoke. "I will soon have five more children frolicking around the Palace. That's enough for me and for the Imperial family. My mother would understand."
The Emperor continued, "If that's what it is like in the modern world, then I will try my best. you complete me. You match me. I've distanced myself from the women in the haremâif you could tell."
"One of my duties is to extend and continue the Imperial bloodline," he looked away and shook his head. "The harem affairs were usually strictly political. But I believe I'm finished here, don't you think?"
"Do you think this will make the officials mad?" I asked.
He scoffed. "You will give me the Crown Prince and he will bring glory to our empire. Ying Yue, do you realise that we've always been making the state officials mad?"
"Yes, Your Majesty," I nodded, grinning as he did.
"Ying Yue, I will be willing to do anything you ask," the Emperor leaned in forwards, planting a small kiss on my cheek. "You are the only woman in my life that I see. I can banish all these concubines if you truly wanted."
EPILOGUE
"Your Majesty, you can do it!" Fen Ai held my hand, tightly. My other maid soothed my hair, gently brushing the sweaty strands of hair sticking to my face.
My cries were loud enough for everyone to hear. I was trying my best even though I was tired. I was ready to sleep. On my last push, I felt the liberation in me. Hua Yang looked up at me. She was kneeling to take my baby. As she smiled at me, I breathed out with relief.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds. The sounds of my second child crying filled the room and I was certain that my cries were worse than my child's. After fluttering my eyes open, Snoopy peeked over at me. She grinned.
"It's a little princess, Empress!" she exclaimed.
Hua Yang placed the baby, wrapped in a brocade blanket, into my arms. She looked just like me, and I was glad. I would've been mad if she looked like the Emperor. Our little son, Tai Zhong looked just like the Emperor. One of our children had to look like me.
Snoopy and Fen Ai stood back as Hua Yang rose. She walked to the other side of the bed with a gentle smile. "Empress, I'll inform His Majesty right away."
The child's wailing was loud, but I was used to it. I let myself relax while my maids were watching me closely. My eyes were watery as my daughter looked at me. She was beautiful. To think I'd have yet another child was weird to see. I always thought I'd never have kids, but here I was with two.
A daughter and a son. The Crown Prince and the high-ranking princess. Tai Zhong was automatically the heir to the throne, and I was glad. The state officials had nothing else to say to me anymore after I've done my duties as the Empress.
My son was the Crown Prince. I have succeeded in continuing the Imperial bloodline. I've extended it as well with another child. Tai Zhong was excited to see his little sister, and I was sure he'd come in with the Emperor. I slowly rocked my baby while watching her react to her surroundings.
"Nice to meet you," I whispered. "I am your mother. Aren't you lucky?"
"Of course she is," my husband walked in. Tai Zhong slowly walked behind him, holding his hand as he did. "She's very lucky she has a mother like you."
I looked up, grinning through the tiring labour I had to do. I wanted to fall asleep but I chose to remain awake before I pass out. Tai Zhong dashed towards me. He had a slight peek at his sister and looked up at me.
"This used to be you before," I smiled at him before I slowly passed the baby to the Emperor.
Tai Zhong grinned. His big, brown eyes widened at me. I chuckled and poked his chubby cheeks before turning my attention towards the Emperor. He cradled the baby. His lips turned into a gradual smile as he looked at his princess.
Five years have passed and the Emperor and I still loved each other. We still had passion and love. After five years, concubines still resided in the harem but for other reasons. They took care of their children rather than producing more. Banishing all of them when they wanted to stay was inhumane in my opinion. Many had left, though, but some chose to stay until their children grow older. I've tried to arrange marriages for the concubines still living here.
Su Yin stayed. She stayed and we've bonded with each other. She married the fourth prince that the Emperor had talked to. Su Yin and I interrupted by accident and he immediately had his eyes on her.
Hua Er and Lei Shu walked into the room quickly. She rushed over to me and gave me a quick embrace. As I watched the Emperor gently pass our baby to Hua Er, I could feel myself getting sleepier by the minute.
The Emperor kneeled to face me. "You did a good job. I'm so proud of you... I love you."
"I love you too," I placed my hand to his face. He leaned over and planted a quick kiss on me. "I don't have a name for her... Name our little princess this time."
"No, I'm terrible with names," the Emperor widened his eyes at my command.
Together, we slowly turned to look at Hua Er who looked in shock as well. She took a step back before shaking her head frantically. My baby was still in her arms. "No, no. Your Majesties, you don't understand. I feel like I should not be responsible for name-giving! When I gave birth to Xiao Lu, I struggled to name him..."
"Mother, how about you?" Hua Er asked.
Lei Shu shook her head. As she did, the jewels from her headpiece dangled. "Oh no, I even had trouble trying to name you!"
"Why haven't we decided on names before?" I let out a weak smile.
The Emperor shrugged. "You gave Tai Zhong a name. I'd expect you to have another one for our daughter."
I didn't want to tell him that Tai Zhong was an emperor's name that I've learned before I came here. A baby coming out of me for the first time led to panic.
"Yu Mei," Hua Yang interjected. She glanced over at me, and then at the Emperor. "I've always loved that name."
"Yu Mei," the Emperor repeated. He looked at his sister and grinned. "That is a beautiful name..."
Hua Er gave my daughter back to me, who was now calming down. I took a deep inhale and exhaled with a smile. "Yu Mei."
The summer breeze was calming. After the Emperor and I finished with the court assembly, we took a quick stroll. My wet nurses were accompanying Yu Mei. Tai Zhong was out to play with Yue Fei, Su Yin's son. Hand in hand, the Emperor and I walked through the gardens. Spring was on its way here.
And of course, my allergies.
"Achoo!" I sneezed into my free elbow.
"What do you all say in your world? Bless you?" the Emperor asked.
I widened my eyes. "How did you know that? Your Majesty, you pronounced it very well!"
"Your friend, Cherry, is an interesting person to talk to," his eyes looked forward as he stared off into the distance. "I can see why you two are friends."
I let out a slight laugh. Cherry was discourteous during her visit here. The Emperor was kind enough to let it slide. She was wild, it was hard to tame her.
The Emperor still hasn't stopped teasing me as well. After five years of being together, the Emperor brought up my rebellious side as a comeback. I laughed along, though, I knew I was quite a person back then. The Emperor and I liked to laugh at the late empress's outrage towards me.
My family was shocked when I told them about my journey here. They wanted to take me to the hospital in case I severely hit my head because I was "making up these crazy delusions". Cara was the first to believe me, though. I knew I had to prove it. It was never a delusion or a fantasy I made up in my head because Jaxon was the solid proof for it. Cherry looked at me like I was on drugs. She was so concerned for me, but she started laughing immediately after. It was a tad bit embarrassing on my end because I didn't know how to explain without looking crazy. I remember Cherry placing the back of her hand on my forehead to check my temperature as a joke.
After I finally convinced them to trust me in the process of going back, they were shocked. Landing in my palace, Fen Ai and Snoopy eyed my family like they were aliens.
'Why is her hair red, Your Majesty?'Â Â Snoopy had asked with shock and fascination on her face.
Hua Er and Cherry had a moment as well. There was a bit of tension between them but they were friends soon after. The biggest shock was others bowing to me. They didn't think I was delusional anymore. I was almost second-guessing myself as well because of their doubt.
The Emperor treated my family and Cherry like his own. I was glad to have someone that supported me this much. We had a nice dinner with just us, and I enjoyed seeing Cherry in a hanfu. It was fun. Every month, I would go back and visit Cherry and my family. It was only right to do so.
Jaxon was doing well. He took over his father's company and married a woman named Jasmineâsomeone who applied to be his personal assistant. I never heard too much about Jaxon, but we always talk when I go back. He was happy and I was happy for him.
This place was my home. I enjoyed the simplicity in life and I also enjoyed my life as a ruler. The Emperor had sacrificed his concubines for me, and I was glad that he did. Sometimes I feel sad for the Imperial Noble Consorts and the other concubines that were here for the Emperor. But I wanted it my way. I couldn't stand the Emperor with another woman.
"Warm blessings to Your Majesty," the maids in the pavilion bowed deeply. "Joy and bliss to the Empress!"
We approached silently. Tai Zhong was flying a kite with Yue Fei. Yue Fei was a year older than Tai Zhong, but I felt like he was still a little less mature than my son. Their backs were turned against us. They giggled with each other as they flew the kite.
I tried my best to hide the sadness that wanted to run through me again. The first time I flew a kite was with Rong Er. He was squealing and joyful. Guan Shu watched us, and she was smiling. I remembered that time... It was like it was yesterday. Time flies, just like kites do. I finished grieving. Guan Shu, if she was ever around, would treat my children with respect. Rong Er would've taken care of my children as well. Miracles happen and coincidences do. Our family dog, Chesire, was a prime example of it.
One of the senior maids turned around to look at them. "Greet the Emperor and Empress!"
"Greetings to Your Majesties!" they exclaimed, grinning at us before they bowed.
"You two are giving the maids a hard time?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow sternly. I tried my best not to smile.
"No, Mother," they shook their heads in unison.
The Emperor took a step forward and patted Tai Zhong's head before patting Yue Fei's. A small smile formed on his lips as he stepped back. My son was growing up too fast. My heart broke because he won't have time to play with Su Yin's son as much, especially because he was expected to do a lot of training. The title of Crown Prince was hard and I was afraid that Tai Zhong couldn't handle it.
Tai Zhong was bold and fierce, but very sentimental sometimes. But then I remembered a time when there was a small rat that tried to fight Dragon and he kicked the rat. I was glad Dragon was okay.
Tai Zhong ran up to me and looked up. "Mother, is Yu Mei doing alright?"
"She's doing great, I haven't checked on her yet," I stroked the back of his head. I looked at the maids. "Does Su Yin know her son is here? She's usually here to keep an eye on Yue Fei."
One of the maids smiled. "Your Majesty, Lady Su Yin is taking a deep nap right now. If you want, I can find her for you?"
Su Yin and her sister were still residing here. I built her a new palace because I believe she deserved it. We were still close friends. Hua Er, Su Yin, and me. Due to Su Yin's relations to me, however, she was ranked very highly, so was Hua Er and Lei Shu.
"That won't be necessary," I responded. I squatted down to be at eye level with Tai Zhong. "I have things to catch up on. You behave, alright?"
He nodded. "Yes, Mother!"
"Good," the Emperor chimed in. "The last time you said that, you threw a tantrum in broad daylight."
A small burst of laughter escaped through my lips as the Emperor joined in. His laugh was pure honey to me, I enjoyed listening to him laugh. It was times like this where all the palace residents knew that the Emperor was in love with me. The Emperor rarely smiled. When he did, he truly had sentiments for that person. As of now, the Emperor was smiling at our son. Tai Zhong crossed his arms and tried to remain bothered. In reality, he was stifling a laugh as well.
The day went on and it was soon another celebration. The Emperor, glowing skin with the darkest eyes, was in a good mood. He was at ease and so was I. Discussions went on, but sometimes I would zone out just to stare at the Emperor.
He didn't age at all. He looked almost the same as I met him. He was still the most attractive man I've ever seen, and I am still attracted to him. Black mianfu with golden embroideries, hair in a headpiece that had black beads dangling above his eyebrows, a strong gaze at the audience, and the dark soul that only shone for me. My emperor. My love. My life. It was him all along.
I was glad I chose the Emperor. I was glad I came here. Power wasn't the only reason why I stayed; the major reason I stayed was because of the Emperor. It was because he was charming, and charmed me to the point where I did something so reckless...
One of the state officials, blue hanfu with golden embroideries was given a purple cloth. I recognized him. Minister Ming. The maid, I didn't recognize, so I narrowed my eyes at her to observe her. There were many palace maids I've never remembered, but she looked extremely unfamiliar. The purple silk cloth wasn't interesting to look at but I couldn't keep my eyes off the maid.
She slowly moved to the Imperial Secretary two seats away. While the Emperor continued to speak, the maid bent down to speak to him. She held the teapot. "Your Lordship, may I pour you some tea?"
He nodded slowly and looked away to pay attention to the conversation.
From my peripheral vision, she slipped a red brocade handkerchief with golden embroidery in his pocket.
"Your Majesty," Li Shu whispered in my ear. "Are you alright? You seem to be very dazed out right now... You're usually engaged."
"I'm fine, thank you," I gave him a reassuring look. I kept my eyes on the woman. "Look out for that maid for me."
After a few discussions later, we were ready to leave. As I stood up with the help of Li Shu, a burst of movement entered the room. I sighed heavily as my maids rushed up to me. They quickly got on their knees, looking down.
The Emperor turned his head to face me. His smile was gone and he looked stern. We made quick eye contact before I broke it off to address my maids.
I gracefully placed the vessel onto the table. "What is it?"
"Empress, Princess Yu Mei was almost suffocated to death!"
"Is she still alive? Is she breathing now?" the Emperor sharply rose from his throne. His eyes shot up with anger. "Who did this?"
My heart was racing. How could anyone sneak in? Yue Mei was not left unattended. I glared at my maids. "Go back and find evidence. There has to be something left from the scene. Do not touch anything until I get there."
"I-It has to be one of the consorts, Empress! There is no way anyone else could've went inâ" Pink stammered, her eyes were in fear.
"Is my daughter fine?" I repeated the Emperor's question.
Pink nodded. "Yes!"
The Emperor turned to his eunuch. "Find out who did this. Right now!"
"Yes, Your Majesty!" he bowed before hastily rushing out of the hall.
I turned to Li Shu. "The Imperial Secretary sent that maid to suffocate my daughter. The banquet was a perfect distraction. Find out who the maid is."
"Yes, Your Majesty," Li Shu bowed deeply before rushing off.
During these years, my stress levels weren't always high. Still, many would seek out to harm Tong Zhi. I had a Consort executed for trying to harm him. It was hard to be the face of an empire. With the Emperor by my side, I felt empowered but I was still afraid for my life. It was a big risk I had to take to love the Emperor, but I did it anyway.
I've been criminalized and publicized as a woman who will usurp the Emperor's throne. There's not as much as before, but there are still words about it. I believe a majority of the civilians love me, and the feelings are mutual. I try my best to be there for my people. That was one of the things I loved about being the Empress.
We rushed into my palace as quickly as possible. Yu Mei was held in my palace usually, especially when I wasn't there to attend to her.
The wet nurses, physicians, and my maids quickly kneeled. "Warm blessings to Your Majesties!"
Li Shu and the Emperor's eunuch bowed.
"Rise," the Emperor took a step forward.
Yu Mei had finished crying. She was now quietly mewling. The physicians took a step back for me. Snoopy gently placed her in my arms and I graciously accepted her. Inside of me was not sadness, it was anger. The last person who messed with my child died. This one, I wasn't going to let them off so easily. I was raging internally while the Emperor was raging externally.
I've done this for so long that I kept my cool. The Empress Dowager had always kept her cool, no matter what. It wasn't being passive, it was letting your emotions stay in place while you rationally calculate things. That was one thing I've learned from her that I'll use for eternity.
"I must punish you all for leaving her unattended like this." I sternly glared at the staff.
Of course, the Emperor was driven by his rage so I let him be.
"Who would've done this? Who could've harmed her? The disrespect for the Imperial family is not something I will ever tolerate!" the Emperor roared.
"Empress," Li Shu stepped forward and bowed. He passed me a small piece of red fabric. "A piece of fabric was left in Her Highness's crib."
Of course. It was a red handkerchief with golden embroidery.
I looked at the Emperor. His eyes were still scanning the cloth, but as he looked away and into my eyes, his face softened. It was the face of trust, care, and awe. "You know who it is, already, don't you?"
"We must speak to Minister Ming," I narrowed my eyes. While cradling Yu Mei in my arms, I nodded at Li Shu. "Bring the Imperial Secretary as well."
"They're already on their way," Li Shu smirked and I returned that gesture.
Not long after, Minister Ming was pleading.
"It must be a mistake! This is a mistake!" he shrieked.
Minister Ming pulled his cloth out. "See, look! This is my handkerchief! You know it! I was there the entire banquet, you saw me, Your Majesty!"
I took a deep breath as the Imperial Secretary walked in nonchalantly. He looked puzzled in the array of emotions showing before him. All of us had infused energies, creating a particular atmosphere in the room.
"Check his pockets! Check his!" he pointed at the Imperial Secretary.
Li Shu dug his hands in the pocket and pulled out the red handkerchief. It was ripped. "Empress... Thisâ"
"How did you know he had that handkerchief in his pocket? Like said, he was with you during the banquet," I interrogated, continuously stepping forward. "You must think I was born yesterday."
Minister Ming shook his head. "N-No... Your Majesty, please!"
I held up the handkerchief. "You expect Yu Mei... A three-day-old child to have the ability to rip this? To bite this? To let alone fight off a strangler?"
Scoffing, I threw the handkerchief at him. "I witnessed everything! I saw that woman pretending to be a maid! I don't know who that woman is, but I'm about to find out!"
How dare he include my daughter into his plans.
"Don't ever drag my children in your devious plans to backstab someone," I demanded.
Yu Mei was safe in my armsâthat was the only thing I cared about. If Minister Ming was imprisoned instead of executed, I'd be fine with that. All I knew, was that Yu Mei was in my arms and that she was safe now. Hurting a baby, was one of the most immoral things you could ever do.
"Bring the phoney maid who tried to kill my daughter in!" the Emperor demanded.
My tears poured at night. The Emperor held me in his arms and I felt safe under the warmth of his body. I was tired. The day was draining and I was used to looking out for myself. Now, not only did I have to look out for myself, but I had to look out for my two biological children. My motherly instincts caused me to be on high alert every single hour. I was a walking target, and so were my children.
Not just the two, but for all the children. The concubines still residing in the harem usually had children with them. I'd keep an eye out for them and treat them like they were mine. I'd try my best to visit and they'd respect me as if I was their mother. It was happier times, way happier than five years back. No one had to compete with one another. However, I was afraid that once I become the Empress Dowager, the harem would continue to be a battlefield.
"You did amazing during these past days, Ying Yue," the Emperor kissed my forehead. "You are an intelligent woman... You are observant, you are beautiful, you are a great mother to my children."
I sniffed. "Thank you, I needed that. I just... don't always want to be dealing with this. It has lessened but it will always be there... It stands behind me, every day, waiting to attack me."
"It's only in your head. How many times has this occurred?"
"Once to Tai Zhong... Now once to our little princess."
"Tai Zhong's attack was three years ago, my love," he shifted his body so he could directly look at me. "You're shaken up right now, but this is a rare occurrence. It's my duty to worry and keep the Imperial family safe. I know I keep overlooking these situations, but I'm going to try my best to have Imperial guards around."
The Emperor smiled. "Tomorrow, stay in your palace and enjoy the day. Don't come with me to the morning court assembly. Just relax for the day."
"Yes, Your Majesty," I slowly nodded.
His face softened and he never let go of me. I felt relief.
I am a control freak. I worry too much and I overthink everything. After the ambush five years ago, I became extremely paranoid when it comes to people. I was on high alert every time and the Emperor noticed. A lot of protection was around me and I enjoyed practicing my swordsmanship during my free time.
I never once thought about going back to my world to continue my life thereâI only went back to visit my family and friends. This was my place, this was where I felt complete. Now, I knew how Roasted Duck felt. She stayed because she felt like she belonged here.
As I sunk into the bed, I turned to my side and half-embraced the Emperor. "Your Majesty."
"Yes?"
"I love you. Thank you."
"Ying Yue, I love you too. Thank you for choosing me and my empire."