CH 19

Gu Jiuci clenched his fists and looked at her silently.

Grandma Gu still looked gentle, “If he is willing to be with your brother, then I won’t object. I have been more than seventy years old and won’t live for many years. I promised his grandfather will take care of him, so I have to do it. But apart from you and your brother, I don’t know or trust anyone else, so if I can. I hope that you or your brother can be with him forever. Do you understand?”

After hearing the words, Gu Jiuci smiled slowly, “You really think about him.”

“I can’t help it.” Grandma Gu said, “He has only us to rely on.”

“Yes.” Gu Jiuci nodded, “You care about him, love him, and put yourself in his shoes. He likes me, so whether I like him or not, I have to get engaged to him.”

“His grandfather is seriously ill and their family is kind to our family, so no matter if I agree or refuse, I have to put down my work all the way when filming is the hardest, run back and get engaged to him who has no feelings in front of his grandfather.”

“And now, if he doesn’t like me, I can just be thrown away like garbage. You still don’t need my consent and don’t need to consider my feeling.”

Gu Jiuci laughed, “So from the beginning to the end, what role did I play in this series of events? Is it a tool that comes and goes? He loves me, so I need to be with him unconditionally. If he doesn’t love me, I have to separate from him unconditionally.”

“Am I not a human? Do I have no emotions of my own? Do I have no passions?”

Grandma Gu sighed, “I know you were wronged to get you engaged, but at that time, Xiao You liked you. Can I force your brother to get engaged when I knew he liked you? Besides, don’t you know how much your brother has been burdened since childhood? Even now, you like acting, and you don’t like working from 9 to 5. It is also your brother who is managing the family’s business and asking you to do what you like. He has sacrificed enough. Career and love, he must have one thing he really likes. Isn’t it fair?”

“So I agreed, didn’t I?” Gu Jiuci looked at his grandmother, “I didn’t want to, but I also agreed, didn’t I?”

“But you don’t love him.”

“Because I am a person, not a machine.” Gu Jiuci replied, “I am not a machine. I can’t input instructions to make myself fall in love with someone I don’t love in a second.”

“I am a person, a person with normal emotions, sorrows, anger, and joy, so I need time. I will struggle with my thoughts. I will be attracted to him, but I will also reject being attracted to him.”

“Yes, I didn’t do well enough. I was not honest enough, I didn’t love him enough, and didn’t respond to his corresponding love, but apart from this, what else did I fail to do?”

“His grandfather’s funeral, I stopped working for the first time and rushed back by plane overnight.”

“He wants to move into my house, and I also agreed to let him to move in.”

“I was not taking care of him when he was sick? Do you know the number of times he was sick? Of course, you don’t know, because he is embarrassed to tell you, only I know when he is with me.”

“Every time he wants to see me, I say I’m busy. When I’m done, don’t I have time to go home?”

“I left him in the cold because I don’t want to like him so quickly. I have my own pace. I don’t want my opposition at that time to look like a joke. We are engaged. We are already living together. I have already given everything he wants that I can give. Isn’t it okay for me to ask for this?”

“It was him who said that he loved me, and now it is him who said that he did not love. You were the one who said I was going to be engaged, but now you are also the one who said I don’t need to be together. Then what am I? I don’t count as anything and have no right to choose my love. I can’t even have the rhythm of how to conduct my love.”

“So Xiao Jiu, what do you want to say?” Grandma Gu looked at him directly, “Are you trying to say that you are in love with Xiao You now, so you don’t want to be separated from him? Or do you want to say that you are not willing to break the marriage contract with him so suddenly?”

Gu Jiuci laughed at himself with deep eyes, “I have nothing to say. What qualifications do I have to speak, do my words matter? It doesn’t matter. From beginning to end, the decision of our marriage is not in my hands, but in his hands. When he likes me, you thread the needle for him. He doesn’t like me anymore, you will only tell me not to embarrass him. What can I say?”

“I went out for a few days and when I came back, he said that he would break up with me and dissolve our engagement. I haven’t given up, I am still trying to save myself, and I am still reviewing myself, but what about you? You told me to not embarrass him and let me give up. Then why did you even let us get engaged in the first place? My marriage is so unworthy of respect for you. Whatever you say, it’s settled. Do you just leave it like that?”

He stood up and said angrily, “I agree with you and support your decision. We shouldn’t be together in the first place. It’s just right to be separated now. If he is really with my brother in the future, I will call him sister-in-law.”

Gu Jiuji finished speaking, turned around, and went out.

Grandma Gu looked at him with full of regret in her eyes. She opened her mouth to stop him, but she couldn’t say anything. What will happen even if he stops? She thought.

What Gu Jiuci said was not wrong. She was indeed like that. Tang Ziyou said at the time that he liked Gu Jiuci, so she had a conversation with Gu Jiuci after returning to home. Regardless of his wishes, she forced the two of them to get engaged.

Now she heard the conversation between Tang Ziyou and Gu Jiuci, and seeing the two of them getting along today, she could feel Tang Ziyou’s avoidance of Gu Jiuci, so she called Gu Jiuci to her room again and wanted him to not embarrass Tang Ziyou.

Between Tang Ziyou and Gu Jiuci, she was indeed biased towards Tang Ziyou. She was afraid that she would lose the trust of her old friend. She was afraid that Tang Ziyou would be wronged, especially by her own family.

So even if she stopped Gu Jiuci, what’s the use?

Like just what Gu Jiuci said. The decision about the two of them was never in his hands, but in Tang Ziyou’s hands.

Grandma Gu sighed. For a moment, she didn’t know if she was right or wrong.

Gu Jiuci left and drove directly to the bar.

He walked into the box familiarly, ordered wine, and started drinking.

“What’s the matter?” The box door was pushed open, and the bar owner Li Shao (李绍) walked in. “Oh, who’s offending you again? You look angry.”

Gu Jiuci laughed, “Do I still have anger? How dare I’m angry.”

Li Shao sat down beside him, “It’s not anger, it’s sulking?”

Gu Jiuci did not speak, lowered his head, and kept pouring wine into his glass.

Seeing this, Li Shao stopped asking. He picked up a cup, poured himself a cup, touched it, and drank it.

Gu Jiuci drank the wine, but the sullen in his heart lingered no matter what. He felt wronged and ridiculous.

From beginning to end, he was like a puppet. He was pulled to the court by the string when he needed to play. Now he was no longer needed. Everyone wanted to kick the puppet away and didn’t care about him, whether it hurt or not, or did he have his own thoughts in this relationship.

He remembered the first time he met Tang Ziyou as an adult…

The author has something to say:

I didn’t say it before, so it seems that many people have misunderstood. Xiao You was born again in the autumn of 2019, three months after his engagement, but he had an accident in his previous life, which was between the spring and summer of 2020, because we are now in 2020. Because we are now in 2020, I thought everyone would automatically substitute in, but I found that many people seem to have automatically substituted in Xiao You’s love for many years, so let me say something~~

And, if you want to scold Xiao Jiu, read two more chapters and scold again. I also know I can’t stop it, so let’s get him probation [sigh]