Chapter 21: Chapter ☾ XXI ☽

My parents had company over, which they don’t do very often. Candice’s parents were in town, and of course, they had to say hi to everyone. They had moved some time ago, but since they still have family here they frequently come back.

I was sitting with Candice on the couch and we listened to our parents laughing in the kitchen. Her parents had a lot of stories to tell about living in the city, and my parents absolutely love it. She seemed more at ease than I was, but this is Candice. She’s always at ease. It’s like nothing could stress her out.

She's the perfect person to talk to about my recent revelation.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked hesitantly, more so because I wasn’t sure if what I was about to say was really what I felt. “I don’t know if it’s a question, really, but...I just want to tell you something.”

She turned her body more towards me and set her hands in her lap. She was interested to hear what I had to say. To be honest, I was, too.

“Last week when I hit my head...I had a moment when everything came together.” I said slowly, thinking back to when the vampires attacked us. Candice wasn’t here for that, but I was expecting that Channing told her something about it. “My head really hurt and I didn’t want to move and...Ty just laid there with me...”

I remember saying that everything will be okay, that Ty and I would be okay.

Now my heart was beginning to race.

“Candice,” I leaned closer to whisper to her, “I was literally content with the idea that I might die but at least Ty was next to me.” I panicked though I kept my voice low because I didn’t want my parents to hear.

“That’s serious.” she whispered back.

“I know!”

“Did you tell him?”

I opened my mouth to respond but I paused. I didn’t tell Ty how I felt. I didn’t know how to. It’s just been...easy to go through the last couple days, but when I’m not around him, I think about it more and more.

Ty has been... we’ve been closer. “I think he already knows. He feels what I feel...I think.” I believe that’s true. What if it isn’t? “I’m crazy, right?” Maybe I’m just going insane.

“Because you already found the love of your life?” she asked, though that made a lump rise in my throat. Before, hearing that wouldn’t have bothered me, but now I’m frightened. I’ve felt this way before.

I should be glad that I feel this way for Ty, but there’s something that’s making me uneasy and I don’t know what it is.

I would get these moments where I really just want to be with him. Every time I think about how much I love him, my heart races and my hands get sweaty. Before, this kind of stuff was cute, but now that I’ve had a serious epiphany I think I’m slowly going insane.

“Gabriel,” Candice put her hand over mine. “There are people in this world that wish they could have what you have with Ty.” she said calmly. “What you’ve gone through together, no normal couple is going to experience that.” She was trying to give me a reason to not think I was crazy.

She’s not wrong though.

What I’ve went through with Ty, it’s a lot. We’ve experienced so much in such a short time, so I shouldn’t be surprised that I feel the way that I feel.

“Let me tell you something.” Candice said. “I’ve been dating Channing for five years, we planned to move in together, go to college together, do all that stuff and what not.” She shrugged. “Don’t tell him this, but I had a pregnancy scare last month.”

I gasped from the shock. As much as I wanted to hold it in, I couldn’t.

“Right.” She agreed with my reaction. “But it wasn’t till that two day experience that I realized the only person I wanted to start a family with is him. I just it somehow. I guess it can be frightening, but I found it comforting to know that I made the right choice.”

I was less concerned about me and more concerned about her.

“Are you pregnant?” I mouthed.

She shook her head. “I think Channing would know.” she whispered. “My point is that everyone gets their moment when they find out who they want to be with. Yours was just...more drastic-”

“Okay, but a pregnancy scare is worse.”

“Gabriel, do not tell Channing this happened. He gave me a whole lecture about how the next four years of our lives is going to go and nowhere in that did he say baby.”

“He’s really good at planning things out...”

“He has a plan for everything. Sometimes, I just wish he would let go of that stuff and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.” She was fantasizing. There was a shine to her eyes as she said that.

“That’s how the pregnancy scare happened, Candice.” I reminded her.

“I know.” She frowned. “Relationships aren’t easy. But it’s always nice to be with someone that wants to be with you.” She said softly. “Don’t feel bad about your emotions around Ty. He loves you.”

Maybe I should tell him.

I want to.

We really should plan this out better. We’re serious about doing things together and moving forward with our lives but we barely have anything figured out yet. Do I want to stress him out with this? He already has a lot to deal with...

My mind filled with this kind of guilt of keeping a secret, not the pregnancy scare, but how I honestly feel. I need to tell him.

It finally stopped raining after a few days. I wanted to go for a walk, but not nearby the neighborhood.

I wanted to see what happened to that other place Channing and I found. He said he destroyed it, burned it. Did he honestly light the area on fire? I found it hard to believe that he would go to extreme lengths, but I had to find out.

I was alone. It probably wasn’t a good idea to come alone, but I just wanted to see what happened. It’s not like I planned to spend the entire day here. I was going to take a look around and then be on my way. There wasn’t that lingering feeling of fear, though I know I should be scared. I just wasn’t.

I walked through the forest quietly, venturing further until I made it to the open space. The house that was there before was in complete ruins, burned down to piles of rubble and gravel. The ground looked burned too, the grass having that darker color of ash.

It felt...hollow.

I can’t forget that Channing said he felt like he burned a part of himself here.

He feels connected here.

I’m never going to fully understand the history, but I know the Martins feel a strong bond to this place. I can’t be surprised that it hurt to destroy a piece of it, even if it meant emotionally wrecking some of the vampires. I knelt down and let my hand press between the blades of grass. They were dry.

But I felt like there was sorrow in the ground, like someone cried here.

It’s a shame what happened.

I wanted it to stop, but it’s not going to just end on its own.

“What are you doing here?”

I whipped around quickly to the sound of Henri’s voice. He was standing behind me, his hands in his pants pockets. He didn’t seem surprised to see me, but he wasn’t expecting it. I was caught, though I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong.

“This is the last place you should be.” Henri said as he walked up to me.

“I just...” I don’t really have an excuse for why I was here. I just wanted to be here. “I wanted to see what happened.” I admitted.

He looked away, turning towards the house that was destroyed. There was this hollowness to his face as he looked. He didn’t...something happened here...

“Henri?” I asked quietly. He didn’t turn to look at me. “Who are you getting revenge for?”

He had to be doing this for a reason.

No one just betrays others for the fun of it. I don’t know what his reason is, but he definitely has one. He has to have one.

He didn’t answer Channing’s question from before.

Maybe he’ll answer now because we’re alone.

“Ever since I was turned into a vampire, I’ve always felt empty. Being in different places and meeting new people made me feel...human again, as much as I could be.” He explained to me, still looking longingly at the house. “I’ve made a lot of friends along the way, though that’s not something we should be doing.” He looked away again, this time towards the ground as he moved his hands from his pockets.

He looked...resentful.

“I know what it feels like to mourn someone.”

I didn’t have anything to say to him. I wanted...I felt like I should apologize but the words didn’t quite leave my lips. I was staring at Henri, the sad gaze in his eyes, the way he looked like he was mourning now.

He took a breath, a heavy sigh as he thought of what to say. “I’m getting revenge for every one of my friends who met an unfortunate fate, Gabriel. And there’s a lot of them.” He finally answered my question.

I wasn’t surprised to know that Henri got along with a lot of other people. He’s friendly. I remember the first day I met him and he had a bright smile on his face. It was endearing and kind.

And warm, like the sun.

Not seeing his radiant expression always confuses me. There are times where I forget that he’s a vampire, that he’s a super powerful being and could kill me in two seconds.

He’s my friend. I won’t forget that.

“I never got to thank you.” I said to him. He’s done so much for me, and it definitely wasn’t easy. He stared at me, slightly confused. “You literally betrayed a whole group of vampires to hang out with me.”

He laughed. “It’s fun not going on savage hunts for food everyday.” He rolled his eyes.

I wonder if he just wants to be human again. He told me he doesn’t remember what it’s like. I kind of don’t believe him. “Do you really not remember your life?” I asked.

“I didn’t have a tragic back story, Gabriel.” He continued to laugh.

“I’m just curious.”

“Yeah, I bet.” He smiled at me.

It was better to see him brighten up. There was a shine to his blue eyes that I recognized. He had a smile just as bright as the sun. He can be so happy sometimes. I like when he’s like this. I like when he’s happy.

“Thank you, Henri.” I said sincerely. “I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.” I hugged him.

He deserves better. I hope he finds what he deserves.

Henri cleared his throat as I let go of him. He shifted like he was uncomfortable. He didn’t want to drink my blood, did he? “We should leave. This spot isn’t exactly human friendly.” He gestured for us to go back in the forest.

“I know how to kill a vampire, so I can protect myself.” I walked beside him as we left the open area.

The sun’s light was dimming because of the canopy of the trees. The day was rather chilly, but it’s the first day there hasn’t been a storm. The breeze felt nice. It was spring, well our spring is still cold, but it’s still spring.

“Does your dog, um-” he stopped abruptly to correct himself, “-boyfriend- know you came here?”

Oh.

“Ty knows where I am.” I wasn’t that concerned since he usually knows where I go. Lately he’s getting better at figuring out my location, so I wasn’t worried.

Now, if Henri asked if I told Ty I wanted to come here, then my answer would be very different cause I didn’t...tell Ty.

“You sure do have a strong bond with him.” Henri said. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling by the way he said it. Was he...surprised? Confused? Skeptical? “Usually those are rare. Even in the legends you don’t hear it frequently happening.”

I was blushing. “How do you know that Ty...?”

“Dogs have a certain smell, which is absolutely repulsive. When they’ve found their mate, their scent becomes...bitter sweet.”

“So you can smell the love in the air?-”

He burst out laughing at my comment. I looked up at him to see his face. Henri has this loud laugh and I think he knows it because he even tried to cover his mouth, not from embarrassment but just because he erupted in laughter so quickly.

“I guess you could say that.” He continued to laugh.

Henri walked with me back to my car that was parked on the side of the road. We were met with two large wolves that were sniffing around my car. He didn’t seem to like it very much by the way he stood back when the wolves noticed him near me. They growled lowly and stalked closer.

“Hey.” I snapped my fingers at them to get their attention. Both wolves looked at me. “He was just walking with me. It’s fine.”

The growling continued despite what I said. They went back to glaring at Henri who would not move since he was targeted. The wolves were stalking closer to him, bearing their teeth more to threaten him.

Baron and Cana aren’t like the others. They have no reason to listen to me so I’m sure Channing was happy about that. The last thing he wants is for Henri to get out of control, so the best people to watch him are the ones who won’t fall for me telling them to be nice. Baron and Cana are vicious. They snarled and growled as they walked by me, getting closer to Henri. He was backing away from them, but it seems like he was about to be chased.

“I’ll see you around, Gabriel!” Henri called out, waving to me before he took off.

The wolves went running into the forest after him.

As much as I wanted to go complain to Channing about how he was treating Henri, I decided it was best to stay out of it. Channing has a lot of self control to not kill Henri and I don’t want to push it by saying something I shouldn’t.

I turned to walk towards my car, but saw Ty leaning against it. I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s here. He’s getting better at finding where I am. It made me think that he was the one to release Baron and Cana on Henri. I went over to him, not ashamed that I came to this place on my own. He probably wanted an explanation, yet he had that nonchalant look on his face like he didn’t care.

I want to tell him that I didn’t get hurt and that’s all that matters.

That’s not how it is right now.

“Hey...” I said as I stood in front of him.

“Hey.” he said.

There was a lot I wanted to talk about. I avoided it before because I didn’t know how to put it into words. And maybe because Ty has enough stress to deal with. But we have to think about us, too. I would like to think about us, to talk about us.

“We...need to talk.” I looked away, playing with my hands as I tried to find the right words. Already I knew my statement wouldn’t be taken the right way. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you...Last week when I hit my head, I felt different.” I started. I looked up to see his face, hoping he wouldn’t be confused or distraught by how I started this. “I don’t know how to explain it but I just...”

Talking to Candice seemed much easier than this.

How do I explain to Ty how I feel?

I took a breath and tried again. “Remember at the beginning of the year when we talked about if something were to happen between us?”

“Yeah.”

“Well...I don’t think something will.” Again I didn’t know how to say what I wanted. I don’t have this issue, but trying to put how I feel about Ty into words is difficult now.

Is this how he always feels.

“Ty...”

“I know.” he said quietly. My heart began to race as he looked at me. “I’d do my best to stay with you no matter what.” he meant it.

“It’s not fair to you when I have this sudden feeling like dying is fine as long as you’re with me. I shouldn’t give up like that.”

Ty smiled at me, but there was a sadness in his dark eyes. I had to know what I said that made him look at me like that. “You’ve hit your head way too many times.” he laughed. Everyone knows that but that’s not the point. “Maybe...”

I think I know what he was going to say.

“Maybe,” I started, “we should actually start to figure this out instead of saying we will.” It’s about that time we tell ourselves what’s really happening here before something terrible happens and we can’t live with ourselves.

“Okay.” he agreed.