Chapter 31: Knot Happening Again: Chapter 31

The grandfather clock in the corner ticks away, each second stretching into eternity. My fingers curl around the delicate china teacup Rhys handed me moments ago, the warmth seeping into my palms. I stare at the amber liquid, watching the steam rise in lazy spirals.

‘Ophelia?’ Rhys’s gentle voice breaks through my reverie. ‘How are you feeling?’

I lift my gaze to meet his concerned green eyes. The kindness I find there threatens to unravel the tight control I’ve maintained over my emotions. I force a smile, hoping it doesn’t look as brittle as it feels. ‘I’m fine.’

Rhys settles beside me on the plush sofa, his body radiating a comforting heat. ‘You don’t have to do this tonight if you’re not ready. We can reschedule⁠—’

‘No,’ I interrupt, my voice sharper than I intended. I take a deep breath, softening my tone. ‘No, I… I need to do this now. If I put it off, I might lose my nerve.’

He nods, understanding etched across his features. ‘Alright. But remember, you can change your mind at any time.’

The sincerity in his words makes my chest ache. It’s been so long since anyone truly cared about my wellbeing. I’ve grown accustomed to being used, discarded, forgotten. But here, in this pack, in the short time I’ve lived with them, I’ve found something I never thought I’d have again: a chance at belonging.

My fingers tighten around the teacup. ‘Leon’s part of your pack. We need to at least figure out how to tolerate each other.’ Even if I don’t know how I’ll manage to coexist with him.

Rhys opens his mouth to respond, but the doorbell chimes, cutting him off. My heart leaps into my throat, and I have to consciously loosen my grip on the cup to keep from shattering it.

‘That’ll be him,’ Rhys says softly. He stands, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading to answer the door.

I set the teacup down on the coffee table with trembling hands, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. The murmur of voices in the hallway grows louder, and then he’s there.

Leon.

He stands in the doorway, looking impossibly tall and broad-shouldered. His white hair is shorter than I remember, styled in a fashionable undercut that highlights his chiseled features. In his hands, he clutches a bouquet of flowers—peonies and sweet peas, my favorites. The sight of them sends a jolt through me. How does he still remember that?

It’s far from a touching detail. More like a knife twisting in my back.

So he remembered that, and he still left. I think it would hurt less if he was completely oblivious. If that night was just a one-time, careless fling for him that meant absolutely nothing.

Our eyes meet, and for a moment, I’m transported back in time. I’m eighteen again, breathless and giddy as he looks at me with heat in his gaze for the first time. The phantom sensation of his lips on my neck, his teeth grazing my skin as he whispers promises he never intended to keep.

I blink, and reality crashes back. I’m not that naive girl anymore. I’m hardened, jaded, marked but unclaimed—damaged goods. My heart is hardened and he’s the one who melted it down and hammered it into unbreakable steel.

‘Ophelia,’ Leon says, his voice a low rumble that sends an involuntary shiver down my spine. ‘Thank you for agreeing to see me.’

Leon’s scent washes over me, pine and winter air mingling with the floral fragrance of the bouquet he holds. My body betrays me, responding to his presence in ways I can’t control. I hate myself for it, for the way my heart races and my skin prickles with awareness.

‘May I?’ he asks, gesturing to the empty armchair across from me.

I nod, not trusting my voice. As he sits, I catch Rhys watching us both, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity. The tension in the room is thick enough to choke on.

Leon holds the bouquet out to me, his movements careful, deliberate. ‘I… wasn’t sure if you still liked these,’ he says, his voice low and uncertain. ‘But I remembered how much you used to.’

‘They’re fine,’ I say, my tone clipped.

‘I’ll take these,’ Rhys says, reaching past me to grab the bouquet before I have the chance. I watch in disbelief as he strides across the room, turns them upside down, and deposits them into the trash bin.

Leon scowls, but it’s all I can do to keep from bursting out laughing.

Rhys turns, facing his bondmate with a challenging stare as he folds his arms over his chest. ‘Let’s get down to business, shall we?’

Silence descends, heavy and uncomfortable. I can feel both alphas’ eyes on me, waiting for me to speak, to react. But what can I say? How do I even begin to address the years of pain, of abandonment, of struggling just to survive?

Leon clears his throat. ‘Ophelia, I… there are things I want to say to you. But first, I want to know if there’s anything you want to ask me. Anything at all.’

I almost laugh. Anything? Over the years, I’ve had a million questions swirling in my head.

Why did you leave?

Did I mean nothing to you?

How could you do this to me?

But now, faced with the opportunity to ask, I find I don’t have the energy to care about most of the answers. Do the answers even matter?

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. ‘I guess it all boils down to one question, Leon.’ I meet his gaze, forcing myself not to flinch away from the intensity I find there. ‘Why?’

He flinches as if I’ve struck him, guilt flashing across his face. ‘I… I know it doesn’t mean anything now, but I want to explain. I owe you an explanation.’ He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture so familiar it makes my heart ache. And I hate myself for it. ‘When I left, I was young and stupid. I was scared of disappointing my parents, of giving up the future they had planned for me. I thought I was protecting both of us by leaving.’

I scoff, unable to help myself. ‘Protecting us? By abandoning me with a half-formed mark?’

‘And here you’ve always been the one who’s good with words,’ Rhys says bitterly.

I have to admit, there was a part of me, even though I wanted him here, that worried their bond would make him take Leon’s side. That they’d both gang up on me, even unintentionally. Instead, knowing he’s fully in my corner helps me feel secure in my ability to stay strong. To not just wither to the longing this damn half-mark still stirs in me after so long without seeing Leon.

Hell, I’m pretty sure if I offered to take Leon back, Rhys would ask if I’d lost my mind.

Leon winces. ‘I know it’s not an excuse. I know how fucked up it was. I realized that, even if it was too late, and by the time I tried to find you, it was like you had been⁠—’

‘Erased from existence?’ I finish for him, my voice bitter. ‘Yeah. The Thompsons are good at doing that with things that embarrass them. Inconvenient pieces that don’t fit in with the rest of the decor in their perfect reality.’

His face crumples, the guilt in his eyes intensifying. ‘Ophelia, I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am. What I did to you… it’s unforgivable.’

‘You’re right,’ I say, my voice hard. ‘It is unforgivable.’

Leon nods, accepting my words without argument. ‘I know. I don’t expect forgiveness. But for what it’s worth, if it’s even worth anything, I want you to know that I’ve regretted what I did every day since. I’ve spent years trying to find you, to make things right somehow.’

I laugh, the sound harsh and humorless. ‘Make things right? How exactly did you think you could do that, Leon? Did you really think you could just waltz back into my life and everything would be fine?’

He shakes his head, looking miserable. ‘No, I don’t know what I thought. I just knew I had to try. When Rhys told me about the omega they were courting for our pack, I had no idea it was you. But when I saw you that day at the Scent Bar, I…’

‘You what?’ I demand, anger flaring hot in my chest. ‘You thought you’d get a second chance? That I’d fall into your arms and we’d all live happily ever after?’

‘No,’ Leon says quickly. ‘I knew I’d ruined any chance of that. I just wanted to apologize. To explain. To do whatever I could to help you, even if that meant staying away.’

I feel Rhys shift beside me, a gentle reminder of his presence. He puts a hand on my shoulder and leans in to whisper. ‘You can tell me if this is too much. We don’t have to do this,’ he says for what feels like the dozenth time. And it’s probably close.

Tears prick my eyes, threatening to spill over, but I refuse to let them. I promised myself years ago I would never give Leon Whitaker the chance to see me cry. But the fact that Rhys is here, protecting me, supporting me, even if it means putting himself across enemy lines to his own packmate—his bondmate—I can’t process how it makes me feel.

Safe. Protected. Relieved. None of those words are quite enough to describe it.

‘He’s right,’ Leon says, clearing his throat. There’s resignation in his voice. Remorse that seems more genuine than I want to admit. ‘I can leave.’

‘No,’ I say quickly as he starts to get up. My hands tighten around my skirt in my lap as I force myself to think about the decision I came to before I even agreed to this meeting. ‘No, I can do this.’

I watch as Leon shifts uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes darting between Rhys and me. The silence stretches, taut as a bowstring.

‘You shouldn’t have to do this, Ophelia,’ Leon finally says, his voice low and rough. ‘It’s wrong for me to even be here, thinking I could fix this.’ He runs a hand through his hair. ‘You belong with this pack. That’s something I should have recognized years ago, but my failure to see it then shouldn’t stop you from having it now.’

I blink, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. Beside me, Rhys has gone still, his scent spiking with surprise and concern.

Leon takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders as if bracing for a blow. ‘I’m willing to step away, permanently. Leave the pack so you can be happy here.’

Even Rhys seems shocked, but he doesn’t utter a word.

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I stare at Leon, trying to reconcile the selfish boy who abandoned me with this man offering to give up everything for my happiness and wellbeing. And after Troy told me what the severed bonds with his pack did to him, I know it’s no small sacrifice. Part of me wants to laugh at the irony of it all. Another part wants to scream.

He’s finally grown up, I guess, but he’s right. It’s too late. He may not be that selfish, reckless boy anymore, but I’m not that desperate girl, either.

I feel a hysterical laugh bubbling up in my throat. I swallow it down, but I can’t keep the bitterness from my voice when I speak. ‘Is that your solution to everything? Leaving?’

Leon flinches as if I’ve slapped him. He opens his mouth to respond, but I hold up a hand, silencing him.

‘No,’ I say, my voice steadier than I feel. ‘I listened to you. Now it’s my turn.’

I stand up, needing to move, to put some distance between us. The room suddenly feels too small, too confining. I pace to the window, staring out at the city lights twinkling in the distance.

‘Do you have any idea what it was like?’ I ask, not turning around. ‘To wake up alone, marked but unclaimed? To feel the bond forming and then… nothing?’

I hear Leon shift in his seat but don’t give him a chance to respond.

‘I waited for you,’ I continue, my voice barely above a whisper. ‘For days, I waited. I thought maybe you’d gotten scared, that you just needed time. But you never came back.’

I turn to face them, my arms wrapped tightly around myself. ‘My parents were furious. They wanted to know who had ruined their perfect little omega. But I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t bear to see the disgust in their eyes if they knew I’d given myself to someone who didn’t want me. To the very man I was promised to. The one they’d pinned all their hopes and dreams for my future on. The one who gave me worth in their eyes. And even then, even after what you did, there was a part of me that wanted to protect you. To shield you from the fallout you subjected me to.’

Leon looks like he’s just been stabbed, but I press on. This little diatribe has been years in the making. And I’m not kicking him in the balls with every word like I originally imagined, so he should be grateful. ‘So they threw me out,’ I go on. ‘Cut me off completely. I had nothing, Leon. No money, no home, no future. And worst of all, I had this… this constant ache. This emptiness where you should have been.’

I watch as the color drains from Leon’s face, guilt etched into every line of his body. But I can’t stop now. Years of pent-up anger and pain are pouring out of me like a dam breaking.

‘Do you know what it’s like to go through heat with a partial bond? It’s agony. Suppressants barely touch it. I tried everything to make it stop, to make the pain go away. But nothing worked. Nothing except…’

I trail off, shame burning hot in my cheeks. I don’t want to say it, don’t want to admit how low I’d sunk. But Leon seems to understand anyway. Horror dawns in his eyes.

‘Ophelia,’ he breathes. ‘I never meant⁠—’

‘Of course you didn’t mean for it to happen,’ I snap. ‘You didn’t mean for any of it to happen. But it did. And I had to live with the consequences.’

I turn back to the window, my arms wrapped around me. ‘I hated you for so long,’ I admit quietly. ‘I hated you for making me love you, for making me believe in something beautiful, only to rip it all away.’

The room is silent save for the ticking of the grandfather clock. I can feel their eyes on me, waiting. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what comes next.

‘But I’m tired of hating you, Leon,’ I say, turning to face him again. ‘I’m tired of letting what you did define my life. It’s bad enough I have this mark as a constant reminder.’ He flinches at that, but has the decency to say nothing. ‘If forgetting you was an option, I would have taken it a long time ago, but since it’s not. I want to move forward.’

Leon’s eyes widen, a flicker of hope crossing his face before he quickly suppresses it. ‘What are you saying?’

I move back to the sofa, sitting down next to Rhys. His presence is comforting, grounding me as I struggle to find the right words.

‘I’m saying that I want to try to make things work,’ I say slowly. ‘Not between us, but for this pack.’ I glance at Rhys, offering him a small smile. ‘They’ve shown me kindness when I thought there was none left in the world. They’ve offered me a home, a family. I want that. I want to belong somewhere again.’

There’s no denying that.

Leon nods, his expression a mix of relief and resignation. ‘I understand. I’ll pack my things and⁠—’

‘No,’ I interrupt. ‘That’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to leave the pack, Leon. I know pushing you out of the picture completely wouldn’t just hurt you. It would hurt them, too. Especially Rhys.’

‘Ophelia, that’s not⁠—’

‘Please,’ I say, holding his gaze. ‘I’ve thought about this. I know the pain of a severed bond, and that’s not something I could ever inflict on someone I care about. I couldn’t live with that, so please, don’t ask me to.’

Both alphas stare at me in shock. Rhys seems at a complete loss for words, even though I can tell he wants to argue. I take a deep breath, pushing through my own discomfort.

‘I don’t want you to leave, Leon,’ I repeat, the words feeling strange on my tongue. ‘That’s not why I agreed to this meeting.’

Leon’s brow furrows, confusion evident in his light brown eyes. ‘I don’t understand. If you don’t want an apology, and you don’t want me to leave, then why⁠—’

I cut him off, my voice steady despite the tumult of emotions churning inside me. ‘I didn’t ask you here because I wanted your apologies. You’re right, there was a time when I would have given anything to hear them. When you coming back to rescue me was all I dreamed about.’ I pause, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. ‘But that time has passed. That girl is gone.’

The room falls silent, the weight of my words hanging heavy in the air. I can feel Rhys’s warmth beside me, his presence a silent support as I continue.

‘However,’ I say, meeting Leon’s gaze, ‘despite the fact that I have no interest in rekindling what we once had, I also have no interest in being the thing that breaks up this pack.’

Leon’s eyes widen, a flicker of hope crossing his face before he quickly suppresses it. I press on before he can interrupt.

‘You’re all pack, but none of you are involved romantically, right?’ I ask, looking pointedly between them.

Rhys shakes his head, clearly wondering what I’m getting at. ‘No, we aren’t.’

‘Then there’s no reason Leon and I can’t belong to the same pack without being together, either,’ I say with a shrug. ‘We’re all adults here.’

The silence that follows is deafening. I watch as Leon and Rhys exchange a look, something unspoken passing between them. Finally, Leon speaks, his voice rough with emotion.

‘Ophelia, I… I don’t know what to say. You’re far kinder than I deserve.’

I laugh, the sound harsh and bitter even to my own ears. ‘This isn’t about kindness, Leon. It’s about practicality. About moving forward and doing what’s right for the pack.’

Leon’s eyes widen, his mouth opening and closing as he struggles to find words. The sight of him floundering would have once given me a twisted sense of satisfaction. Now, I feel nothing but a dull ache in my chest.

Rhys clears his throat, breaking the tense silence. ‘If that’s what you want, Ophelia, we’ll make it work.’

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. The reality of what I’m agreeing to settles over me like a heavy blanket. Can I really do this? Can I live under the same roof as the man who shattered my world?

Leon leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. ‘I can keep my apartment for a while,’ he offers, his voice hesitant. ‘Give you time to adjust to living in the mansion without me crowding you.’

I shrug, aiming for nonchalance even as my heart races. ‘I don’t care what you do. I’m content to ignore your existence the way you ignored mine for years.’

He flinches as if I’ve struck him, pain flashing across his face. ‘Ophelia, I didn’t—I searched for you, I swear I⁠—’

I hold up a hand, cutting him off. ‘I don’t want to hear it.’ My voice is ice, brittle and cold. ‘I don’t believe you, for one thing, and even if you’re telling the truth, it doesn’t matter.’

Leon’s shoulders slump, defeat written in every line of his body. I press on, needing him to understand.

‘This isn’t about giving you another chance, Leon. It’s about the pack, plain and simple.’ I meet his gaze, willing him to see the finality in my eyes. ‘Nothing more, nothing less. I need you to understand that.’

He nods, his voice barely above a whisper. ‘I understand.’

Silence descends once more, thick and oppressive. I resist the urge to fidget, to show any sign of weakness.

Rhys reaches over and squeezes my hand again. ‘Are you sure about this, Ophelia?’

I nod, my throat tight. ‘I am.’

It’s the truth. I just can’t guarantee I won’t come to regret it. Because no matter what I said to Leon, no matter how much I want to believe I’m completely over him… the ache in my chest at his mere proximity tells a different story.