Chapter 30: CH 27

Breathe fire with one’s mouth, crush lightbulbs under one’s feet, smash boulders on one’s chest, and break the floor with one’s head!

Although he knew it wasn’t the system’s fault, Bai Zhi still panicked a bit. He poked Ji Guichen’s arm and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Ji Guichen ignored him and started to prepare his books for the next class.

Bai Zhi lowered his head a bit disappointedly, took back the homework from Ji Guichen, and stared at it for a long time. Suddenly from behind him a hand stretched out and snatched it away.

Bai Zhi was startled: “Hey!”

Luo Le stood behind him with a bitter face and pointed to the head teacher beside him.

Liu Zhong’s face turned black as he flipped through the homework page by page. He said with obvious anger: “Who did this?”

Bai Zhi blinked, not understanding what he meant.

Suddenly, Ji GuiChen’s voice came from behind him. He pushed back his chair and stood up. In a very calm tone: “I accidentally tore it.”

Liu Zhong exploded as soon as he heard this: “As a student, this teacher does not require that you study well, but you should have the right attitude! What kind of attitude is tearing up your homework? You–”

“He didn’t tear it up!”

Bai Zhi interrupted hastily and stood up from his chair a bit anxiously: “I did it.”

“I was jealous of Ji Guichen’s good studies, so I tore up his homework to demonstrate my motivation.” Bai Zhi bullshitted seriously.

Liu Zhong was about to detonate when he heard the first half of the sentence, but he couldn’t help but feel off when he heard the second half of the sentence: “Motivation? You show motivation by tearing up homework?”

“As a student, my biggest motivation is to study well.” Bai Zhi recalled some freshman speech he’d heard before, paused, and then continued:

“In this golden fall of September, this season of five-grained fragrance, we–”

“Student Xie has such a strong motivation to learn. As a teacher, I’m very gratified.”

Liu Zhong listened with impassioned enthusiasm, and after he finished speaking, he carried Baizhi to the corridor like a small chicken:

“Now stand outside.” [1]

Bai Zhi blinked: “…Oh.”

Bai Zhi obediently stood in the corridor, and the classmates passing by all stared at him as if they had seen a ghost. He stared back at them one by one with gusto, and those he stared back at immediately lowered their heads, shrunk back, and left.

Bai Zhi: “…?? Uncle, why are they looking at me?”

“Wouldn’t you also be surprised if you saw the ‘absent from class year-round’ and ‘beats up people before three sentences are over’ campus boss obediently serving a penalty stand?” The system said slowly.

Bai Zhi lowered his head: “Oh, that’s why.”

The system responded absentmindedly, then suddenly spoke up again: “Nephew, uncle will play a game with you again.”

“I won’t play!” Bai Zhi abruptly remembered the pepper powder from last time and said quickly: “Hell if I get tricked by you a second time!”

“Uncle won’t trick you this time.” System said: “Do you see the little boy with a bowl cut eating potato chips in front?”

“I see.”

“Walk in front of him, quickly now.”

Bai Zhi didn’t understand what the system wanted to do, but after pondering it a bit still agreed and took a few steps to stand in front of that person.

The little boy raised his head, saw that it was Bai Zhi, and dropped a potato chip because of his shaking hands.

The system spoke in a timely manner: “Steal his potato chips.”

Bai Zhi: “What?”

“Stretch out your hand and bring the potato chips here.” The system explained again. “Do you not understand?”

Bai Zhi: “I understand, but—”

“Do you still want spiritual fruits?”

As soon Bai Zhi heard this, he straightforwardly and nimbly grabbed the potato chips: “Uncle, I stole them.”

“Good boy.” The system was very satisfied: “Make a scary face at him and go back to standing ba.”

“Oki,” Bai Zhu patted the little boy who was scared senseless and frightened to the point of shivering. He pulled back his eyelids and stuck out his tongue: “Ou… ” [2]

“Aaaaah!” The little boy was so frightened that he burst into tears and fled as if he were smoke.

“Hahahahaha!” The system laughed so hard its stomach hurt and rolled on the ground in circles. “Well done nephew! The spiritual fruit is yours!”

“Thank you, uncle!” Bai Zhi elatedly ran back to where he was doing his penalty stand: “Being able to earn spiritual fruits by scaring people, uncle you must call me the next opportunity you get!”

“Dream on.” The system burst his bubble. [3] “You think I’m so bored I would have you casually grab someone and scare them?”

“What do you mean?” said Bai Zhu, stunned. “Was that little boy a bad guy?”

“You’ll know later.” The system shrugged. The class bell rang and the students hurriedly rushed into their classrooms. The corridor that was originally filled with people going back and forth soon became empty.

Bai Zhi stood alone in the corridor, yawning out of boredom.

Luo Le peeked at Baizhi from the window and couldn’t help shaking his head:

“Ji Guichen will definitely be miserable later. The boss was forced to do a penalty stand because of him, he will definitely not let this go.”

The surrounding people who heard this all silently glanced at Ji Guichen.

Bai Zhi, who didn’t know that he had been smeared by his pig teammates: The weather outside is pretty good.

When the bell for the end of class rang, the whole class was inexplicably quiet. Bai Zhi pushed open the door and strode inside, instantly attracting most of the attention.

Brother A: “Is the boss going to beat someone?”

Younger Brother B: “What rubbish, judging by the vicious expression on the boss’s face, he must be so angry he could explode.”

Younger brother C: “Wuwuwu, boss is so handsome…”

Bai Zhi looked fierce but was actually confused. Under this kind of attention, he walked slowly and lightly to Ji Guichen’s side, pulled out the chair next to him, glanced at that person coldly, slowly raised his legs and–

Sat down with a thump.

Little brothers: …

Bai Zhi pursed his lips and with a happy heart, scooted quietly towards Ji Guichen.

Ji Guichen squinted at him and said: “What are you up to?”

“I’m up to, sitting beside you.” Bai Zhi stammered in response, raised his head a moment later, and fixed both his eyes on Ji Guichen: “Ji Guichen, from this day on we’re deskmates, is that okay?”

Ji Guichen remained in deep silence for a long time, then turned around to pack up and walked out:

“Whatever.”

Bai Zhi didn’t care about his cold attitude. He happily abandoned Luo Le and instantly switched deskmates.

Luo Le tugged Bai Zhi’s elbow with a bitter face: “Boss, why am I being left behind when he’s the one who did something wrong?”

Bai Zhi got goosebumps:

“You’re too ugly.”

Saying this, he packed his school bag and ran away.

Luo Le who was frozen in place: …

Once class was about to start, Ji Guichen came back unscathed. Bai Zhi, who had driven away the group of younger brothers crowding around, turned around and lowered his head to look at Ji Guichen innocently:

“Ji Guichen, you’re back?”

Without sparing him a glance, Ji Guichen pulled his chair out and sat down.

Bai Zhi was afraid of annoying him, so he stopped trying to chat and took out his schoolbag, ready to take out a proper schoolbook.

He happily stuck his hand inside his backpack and rummaged here and there, finally taking out a game console and putting it in the center of the desk.

Luo Le, who had thought the boss had abandoned the light and surrendered to the dark [4] to study hard: …sure enough, the boss is just joking.

Bai Zhi, who did not know that his bad reputation had worsened: “Uncle, why doesn’t the backpack have any books?”

“Is there a wife in the wife’s cake?” [5] The system retorted.

Bai Zhi: I am speechless.

“Uncle, how can I be in class without books?”

“You don’t have books, but you have a target.” The system suggested: “Not taking advantage of this blessed opportunity, are you a fool?”

Bai Zhi: “You’re right.”

Saying this, he happily feigned embarrassment and stuffed the game console back into the drawer, deliberately bumping Ji Guichen’s arm:

“Deskmate, I didn’t bring my books, can I share and read yours?”

“No.”

Ji Guichen didn’t even turn his head as he nobly and coldly replied.

The Bai Zhi who was in the middle of thinking about how to make physical contact while reading: “…”

“But, that…” Bai Zhi said hesitatingly:

“Oh right! If you don’t share the book with me, I’ll… I’ll get my little brothers to beat you!”

System, who was eagerly preparing to assist: “…”

“Nephew, is your brain made of pigs?”

Bai Zhi blinked: “It’s made of meat, don’t you smell it?”

The system hated the fact that iron could not become steel [6] and hid its disappointment. Bai Zhi scratched his head and threatened Ji Guichen again:

“Ji Guichen, if you don’t share with me, I’ll really call for backup. My little brothers are very good at fighting. They breathe fire with their mouths, crush lightbulbs under their feet, smash boulders on their chests, and break the floor with their heads!” [7]

As soon as Bai Zhi finished, Ji Guichen finally turned that noble head of his and lightly glanced at Bai Zhi:

“Shut up.”

Bai Zhi moved his lips silently, lowered his head, and stopped talking.

The classroom finally recovered its silence. Ji Guichen focused on class again, paying no attention to the noisy guy next to him.

So it was in this way that most of the class passed. Ji Guichen unintentionally saw out of the corner of his eyes that the person who was previously very lively was now calmly lying in his seat.

From time to time his gaze would wander towards others’ books, and he would occasionally glance at Ji Guichen when he thought he wasn’t paying attention.

Ji Guichen suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.

Even though that person tore up Ji Guichen’s own homework, he also glued it back together. As for gluing it back incorrectly, that was entirely the fault of his intelligence and so was something that Ji Guichen could forgive. Anyway, he doesn’t look like the smart type.

Ji Guichen thought about it, reached a decision, and shifted his book a little.

The sharp-eyed Bai Zhi immediately noticed, sat up straight, quietly stretched out his hand, and pushed the book back.

Ji Guichen already said that he wouldn’t share his book with me. Just now he must have accidentally nudged the book this way, so I’d better push it back in order to prevent him from getting angry.

The little demon thought this silently.

Seeing that the book he pushed over was sent back, Ji Guichen sighed.

As expected, he really couldn’t understand the world of school slackers.

“Nephew, are you an idiot?” The system couldn’t bear to watch anymore.

“I’m not.” Bai Zhu hmph’d.

“Hmph my ass.” The system sneered. “It’s obvious that Ji Guichen changed his mind and was ready to get along with you, what’s the matter with you pushing the book back?”

“What!” Bai Zhu shouted in his mind: “What did I miss?”

“You missed the target, congratulations.”

“No no no, I can still save this.” Bai Zhi took a deep breath, scooted a bit closer to Ji Guichen, and pulled the book back with a movement he thought was very subtle.

Ji Guichen who watched the whole process silently with cold eyes: “…”

How on earth did this man become the boss? With his face? Ji Guichen was suddenly puzzled.

Bai Zhi didn’t know he had been noticed in the slightest. He dragged the book over and obliviously smiled at Ji Guichen, showing a pair of little tiger teeth and bright eyes.

Ji Guichen looked at him for a while and squinted.

He suddenly felt that…maybe, it really was with his face?

[1] Standing outside the classroom is a common school punishment in China. It’s like a timeout.

[2] The 呕 from 呕吐 (ou3 tu4, to vomit), it’s just a noise he’s making

[3] In the raws: 破了百枳的幻想, bursted Bai Zhi’s fantasy. Changed it to “bubble” because it sounds better.

[4] I think this is a play on words, the author uses 投暗 (暗 = dark) which is a homonym of 投案 (to surrender).

[5] Rhetorical question, the answer is “no”

[6] 铁不成钢 = (Bai Zhi) not meeting expectations.

[7] Not literally…