Chapter 31: CH 28

Won’t be friends with you.

Bai Zhi had neither been to school nor read books before. Since he couldn’t make money from thin air as a demon, Bai Zhi had wanted to follow the children going to school in groups of twos and threes.

For a while, he had often turned back into his original form and quietly snuck around outside the school, watching and imitating the way the teacher wagged his head.

Some students would stay over next to the school. Bai Zhi had once met such a scholar. Often when he was nestled under the eaves of the school window, that scholar would stretch out their hand and quietly drop fruits under the window sill.

Later, the window that Bai Zhi laid under became that scholar’s study space.

And even later…a lot of things had happened, and Bai Zhi had never gone to school again.

This was his first time transmigrating as a student. Now that he could earnestly sit at a desk in class, Bai Zhu was very happy.

With a smile, he happily watched the teacher walk up to the podium as class started, happily watched the teacher hand out a stack of white paper, and happily listened to the teacher say:

“In-class quizzes count towards your grade. Cheating will be severely punished.”

The little demon stopped smiling.

He started at the paper in front of him for half a day before slowly saying:

“Uncle.”

“Wh-What?” The system’s voice audibly trembled.

“What are these?”

“Exam papers.” The system coughed a few times: “Rely on yourself, relying on others is meaningless.”

“…Oh.” Bai Zhi scratched his head, grabbed his pen with his hand, and started writing according to the original host’s habits:

“Uncle, the pen is so hard to hold…” Bai Zhi’s voice was small.

“Don’t be afraid, nephew, just get used to it.”

“Uncle, even I don’t know how to answer these questions.” Bai Zhi wrote his name with great difficulty, gazing at the exam papers up front blankly.

System: “I…”

“Uncle, what do I do?”

“Let me show you.” The system thought for a while and turned its attention to the paper in front.

“Pretend you’re Li Hua, your British friend…” The system struggled for a long time, thinking with its head bowed.

Bai Zhi sprawled on the table waiting for the system, waiting and waiting until the system suddenly emitted a didi [1] alarm and then went silent.

Bai Zhi: “…?”

It took a long while before the system spoke again: “Overuse of the brain. Machine could not withstand the load and was burnt.”

Bai Zhi: “…”

“Uncle, are you really of high intelligence?” The little demon suddenly had some doubts.

“Of course! Have you ever met a machine that could transmigrate through time and space?” the system was agitated.

“No.” Bai Zhi replied honestly.

“Then doesn’t that prove I’m powerful?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Bai Zhi nodded: “Then what do we do about this exam paper?”

“Just write whatever.” The system said encouragingly: “It’s all multiple choice questions anyway, you just have to randomly pick from the four answers.”

“Ok.” Bai Zhi answered obediently and immediately began writing.

After spending ten minutes finishing the exam, Bai Zhi carefully set it aside and began to examine his own school supplies.

“This is the first time I’ve touched this type of pen.” As he spoke, he sneakily used the pen nib to carve the three words “Ji Guichen” on the desk.

When the school bell rang, the papers were passed to the front one by one. Bai Zhi had picked up his empty school bag and was about to pack up and find an opportunity to walk home with Ji Guichen when a single dog with no tact ran over.

Single dog Luo Le: “Huhuhu, boss, where are we going to hang?”

“In your dreams.” Bai Zhi didn’t spare him a glance. He only had eyes for Ji Guichen who was packing his school bag.

Luo Le followed his gaze and immediately understood what Bai Zhi meant. He patted Ji Guichen on the shoulder angrily, deliberately making his voice rougher:

“Kid, you’re blocking the time between me and boss, get lost!”

Ji Guichen didn’t even acknowledge him, only minding his own packing before leaving. Luo Le proudly raised his eyebrows at Bai Zhi, saying:

“The hindrance is gone, boss, let’s go play!”

Bai Zhi looked at him as though he were mentally ill. He picked up his school bag and left hurriedly to chase after Ji Guichen. Luo Le didn’t understand the situation, ran out, and followed Bai Zhi:

“Boss, what are you doing?”

Seeing that Ji Guichen was about to leave him behind, Bai Zhi was in a hurry and his words were tinged with impatience:

“You’re blocking the time between me and the boss, get lost!”

Luo Le: “…..This seems familiar.”

Bai Zhi ignored this little brother of late middle school and hurriedly ran past him to chase Ji Guichen.

“Ji Guichen!” He ran quickly and caught up with that person, pretending to be surprised:

“Wow! What a coincidence!”

Ji Guichen: “…”

Bai Zhi coughed a few times but couldn’t make up any more small talk, so he could only lower his head silently and follow Ji Guichen closely.

Ji Guichen, whose heels were unintentionally stepped on multiple times, finally could not help looking back:

“What exactly do you want to do?”

“I want to be friends with you.” Bai Zhi said what he was thinking before: “Only with you.”

Ji Guichen stopped walking and said after half a day: “Xie Siliu, if you’re looking to play some new trick on me, don’t.”

“When I go crazy, even I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Ji Guichen’s words were extremely cold and full of malice.

Bai Zhi was stunned for a while. Before he could speak, Ji Guichen stepped ahead first and put some distance between them. Bai Zhi blinked, and then immediately followed him.

Ji Guichen, who felt that he had just said something to feed this dog: “…You?”

“I have rectified my evil ways and returned to righteousness [2], washing my hands in a golden basin [3].” Bai Zhi replied very seriously: “Ji Guizhen, are you willing to give me a lifetime to prove it?”

Ji Guichen looked at Bai Zhi’s expression and felt weirder by the moment: “Have you read too much brain-damaged text?”

Bai Zhi, who had managed to speak romantically with much difficulty: “…”

The little demon who was stunned by the straightness of the male in front of him became angry. He decided that he would not talk to Ji Guichen in the future.

But he still followed him.

He followed Ji Guichen all the way home to a very dilapidated alley. Ji Guichen didn’t respond, he only walked to one of the houses and pushed open the front door.

The front door was slammed shut. Bai Zhi sniffled and turned around to leave, but before he was even a few steps away, the deafening sound of shattering glass rang out.

Bai Zhi was startled and whipped his head around, the system’s didi alarm going off simultaneously in his head:

“Warning! The villain is under attack! Host, please send help immediately!”

Bai Zhi was already a little flustered before, so hearing this now almost scared his soul out of his body. He rushed over and kicked the door open, randomly grabbed a wooden stick, and rushed into the house.

Inside the house was a man who reeked of alcohol, holding a wine bottle in one hand, and cursing nonstop. He didn’t respond much when he saw Bai Zhi intruding; he had clearly drunk too much.

Bai Zhi stormed up in anger with his stick, planning to teach him some manners. Suddenly, the system spoke out:

“Nephew you can’t be heavy-handed, this is Ji Guichen’s uncle.”

“Uncle?” Bai Zhi was angered into laughter: “Even if he was Heavenly King Lao Tzu [4] I’d dare to hit him–”

“It’s not a question of whether you dare to or not.” The system said: “If you strike now, someone will die.”

“Then am I supposed to not care!” Bai Zhi spoke discontentedly.

“I said you can’t be heavy-handed.” The system changed its tone: “I didn’t say you couldn’t do anything at all. You will have plenty of chances to punish him in the future, but right now you have to find Ji Guichen first.”

“Find him?” Bai Zhi’s chest tightened. [5] “Where’d he go?”

“He jumped out the window, hasn’t gone far.” The system instructed Bai Zhi: “Jump down from where he jumped down, I’ll point the way.”

Bai Zhi lept out without another word. The window of Ji Guichen’s room was very low. Bai Zhi had just landed and was about to ask the system when a voice suddenly rang from behind:

“Xie Siliu? Why are you here?”

Bai Zhi whipped his head back. Ji Guichen was sitting on the back door steps, a confused look on his face.

“I, I heard some noise, was scared something happened to you, so I went in.”

The confusion on Ji Guichen’s face intensified: “You went in, does that mean you broke into my house?”

“I…” Bai Zhi didn’t know how to explain. He could only lower his head and stop talking.

Ji Guichen watched him calmly for a while. After a moment he sighed deeply:

“Forget it, come here.”

Hearing this, Bai Zhi’s eyes lit up, immediately running over with a ceng ceng ceng [6] to sit beside him.

So the two sat like this without speaking for half a day before Ji Guichen broke the deep silence:

“Xie Siliu.”

“En?”

“Lately…what’s been up with you?”

Ji Guichen thought of Bai Zhi’s unusual state these past few days and couldn’t help but ask.

Bai Zhi thought of how to phrase it for a long time before saying: “I genuinely want to be friends with you.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll tell you clearly, no.” Ji Guichen coldly replied.

“Okay,” Bai Zhi’s voice became somewhat quieter, thought for a moment, then came up with another reason: “Actually, I wanted to study well.”

“Oh?”

“You study well, so I want you to tutor me.”

Ji Guichen sunk into silence for a while. It was a long time before he stood up: “Let’s talk about this later.”

Then he slowly walked towards the path downstairs. Bai Zhi ran over in a hurry, pulling him a little worriedly: “Your uncle…”

“You met him?”

Ji Guichen turned his head, asking with a face full of calm.

“When I entered the house, he seemed to have drunk too much.”

Ji Guichen paused for a while, then responded after a moment: “…En.”

“Ji Guichen, if you’ve been bullied, remember to tell me.” Bai Zhi said quickly: “I’m telling you, I–”

“Your little brothers are very strong, they can shatter boulders with their heads right?” Ji Guichen interrupted him: “I know.”

Bai Zhi was still worried inside, so he followed him a few more steps, and in a rush ran into Ji Guichen’s back.

He pursed his lips and lifted his hand to touch his forehead, keeping his head lowered and staring at Ji Guichen’s feet.

But that person didn’t move.

Bai Zhi felt a little strange. He looked up blankly and suddenly a pair of hands reached out and touched his head.

Ji Guichen’s face was still expressionless and his voice was also cold:

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Oh, that’s good. Either way if you’re in pain, the only thing you can do probably is to endure it.” Ji Guichen slowly finished, then spoke again: “That’s right.”

“En?”

“Regardless of what your intentions were, breaking into someone’s house and jumping out the window are not desirable.” Ji Guichen finished saying calmly: “This kind of dangerous action, I trust that you won’t do it a second time. After all you aren’t stupid, right?”

However, Bai Zhi would use his actions to prove his IQ the next day.

[1] didi is a sound effect

[2] 改邪归正 (gǎi xié guī zhèng) “Rectifying evil and returning to the righteous” – idiom that means to stop doing bad things.

[3] 金盆洗手 (jīn pén xǐ shǒu): “Washing hands in a golden basin” – idiom, can refer to reformation or giving up something they have been engaged in a long time. Bai Zhi’s saying he’s reformed in a fancy way.

[4] 天王老子 (Tiān wáng lǎo zi) – idiom meaning most noble/authoritative person. Bai Zhi really wants to hit Ji Guichen’s uncle lol

[5]  百枳心里一紧 (Bai Zhi’s heart tightened): changed “heart” to “chest” cause it sounds weird in English

[6] 噌噌噌 (Cēng cēng cēng): sound effect of Bai Zhi running. The pinyin is “ceng” but the c is pronounced like a “ts”