Chapter 26: Chapter 25

He knew Marc was too busy to see him. He had two young pups, a pup on the way and a whole Kingdom to run. He didn’t need Chris’ issues to deal with too. With the angle of the sun he had known he was probably going to have missed breakfast, but he made his way to the communal kitchen anyway.

“Ah, we thought we would have missed you!” his mother exclaimed as he entered.

“Sorry, I overslept.”

“Not a problem, darling, so did we! Come, sit, Chef made some wonderful mushroom omelettes.”

“They’re not in season.” He frowned, they never had mushrooms this early.

“It has been awfully wet, I think they merely got a little confused what season it was.”

Chris shrugged, accepting the omelette she passed to him from under a cloche.

“Would you like anything else, darling?”

“No thank you, Mamma.”

“Did you sleep in your clothes, son?” his father asked.

Chris looked down at his rumpled, dirt-smudged white t-shirt. “Err. I went training this morning, I’ll change after breakfast.”

“Thought you overslept?” he contradicted.

“I did… but I went training.”

Elsbeth placed her hand on Xander’s arm as he opened his mouth, “It’s fine, you’re a full grown now after all.”

Xander’s fist tightened but then relaxed. “Course, son. Just… you’ll tell us if you need any help. We’re here no matter how old you are.”

“I know, thank you.”

He just didn’t want to tell them his problem. He couldn’t gauge what their reaction would be and due to that, he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. His secret suddenly weighed heavily in his stomach. The lies he’d told the night before pressed heavy guilt. He didn’t like to lie. Little white lies were fine, but his lies seemed to be stacking up.

He pushed the food around his plate. When was Jaxson going to see the court? What was he going to say? Would they believe him?

Not without Chris.

’It’s the Moon Goddess’ will, they can’t go against that.’

“Is everything alright, Chris, darling?” his mother asked cajolingly.

He shook his head, it was all he could do.

“Would you like to go for a walk with me?” she asked gently.

He nodded.

She rose carefully from her chair, settling her hand on his shoulder gently as if he were a wounded animal, “Come on then,” she encouraged.

He expected her to make him change but she didn’t, she merely led him to the side door nearest the kitchen. He followed compliantly, letting her lead him around the palace. “Nothing is ever as we want is it?” she asked after they walked for five minutes.

“I suppose not,” he muttered his agreement, not wholly sure what he was agreeing to.

“Hunter’s fine, my darling, we all know it was an accident.”

“Everyone knows?” he whined.

“Not everyone, I wish you’d told me the nightmares were back,” again she spoke gently, calmly, as if Chris may bolt at any moment.

“Was while I was away,” he muttered, bowing his head to look at the ground, anything but the looks he felt he was about to get.

“I’m only ever a phone call away,” she reminded him.

He could feel her slightly hardened glare on his head, “Had other things on my mind.” It wasn’t a lie, he had had other things on his mind. Admitting what that had been may be something he’d never admit, but he could admit he was distracted.

“Like what, my darling?” her calm voice, her understanding, her motherliness that he could rely on. She’d always been there. When he was younger she was there for his nightmares, he’d awake to her cradling him. She’d always ensure he had everything he ever needed. She was always there. Someone to lean on. Someone to take his pain away…

“My mate,” he whispered.

“I see,” she replied lightly.

“I thought the Moon Goddess made a mistake.”

“Well we know that’s not true, she always knows what’s best.”

“I want to accept.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“What everyone will say, what everyone would think about a same-sex matehood.” It slipped. He wasn’t meant to admit it. He was meant to divert the questions. What had he done? What would she do?

He kept his head down, not wanting to see her reaction, her shock, her displeasure, her hatred, her coolness… or anything he thought she was going to look at him like.

After some moments of silence, Chris was bracing himself. He really couldn’t tell what her reaction was going to be.

“And who is it, darling?” she asked gently.

“Jaxson,” he grunted

“The guard in the cells?”

He nodded.

She slipped her hand into his arm, squeezing gently. “Shall we fix that?”

“I don’t know how,” he muttered in resignation. There was no fixing this.

“Son, have you forgotten who your brother is?” she asked gently.

“I don’t think he’ll understand,” he mumbled.

“We’ll see.”

Chris looked back towards his mother, confused how ‘well’ the conversation had gone. “How are you OK with this?”

“Did you want me to not be accepting?”

“I… well… no I just-”

“You are my son, I will love you until I return back to the ground, and even then I’ll love you through the Goddess forever.”

“Don’t you think it’s wrong?”

She tugged him gently to a stop, turning and cupping his cheeks, “I think it is how it should be. If the Goddess had declared it, I have no place to say otherwise. She saw something very special in you, my boy.”

He dropped his head feeling insecure, feeling lost, but also… There was a lightness of relief within him.

He couldn’t be a coward, he had to help Jaxson in any way he could… if Jaxson was to announce their mateship.

If.