Soundtrack
All Around MeâFlyleaf
All I WantedâParamore
Bring Me To LifeâEvanescence
12
Mia
Mia fell back asleep for a while after Jack left to help his dad. At first, she worried about whatever interaction he may have with his mother while he was there, but then she let that go; Jack was capable of making his own decisions, and she had to trust that he knew what was best.
When Mia woke up, she took one last stretch in bed. She turned to leave it, and her eyes landed on the empty mug of tea Jack had brought her; she smiled, despite the insanity of the night before, at how far he had come. Guilt threatened to bubble up inside her over pushing him into therapy, and, though they wouldn't be much, she resolved to make him some chocolate chip cookies for when he came home. While she had no intentions of being a 1950's housewife, they were her specialty, and they would make him smile.
Jack deserved to smileâa genuine smileânot the fake one he so often plastered on around his friends, and now, more than ever, Mia wanted to be the reason for it.
It was August, and Jack had left the windows open. Summer was starting to break, and Mia was glad for it. A gentle breeze rustled through the kitchen, blowing the edges of a piece of paper that had been left on the table. She moved to pick it up and throw it out, only to see her name on it in Jack's slanted scrawl. She smiled again, cheeks burning with pleasure.
"He's leaving me love notes now? Who is he?"
Mia sat at the table and unfolded the paper. As she read, the smile on her lips slipped further and further.
My sweet, beautiful Mia,
Last night, you said something that made me realize just how poorly I communicate with you. You asked why I was with you if I thought you were so 'boring' (your word, not mine), and I was too upset to correct you in the moment.
I don't think you're boring. I think you're grounded. Careful. Purposeful. You bring a level of peace to me that I have never found anywhere else. It's why I've always had so much trouble letting you go. I'm terrified of what will become of me without you to keep me level.
But that, in itself, is selfish, and it's time I finally put you first. I can't do this to you anymore, and I know this is going to feel like a betrayal. This is going to hurt you, but it will only hurt for a little while longer. You deserve someone who will share in the burdens of life, not be one. I'm sorry for everything I've done that has hurt you; I'm sorry for hurting you one last time.
I love you, and I always will.
Jack
Mia read the words over and over, trying to make sense of them. That morning, things were fine. They were good.
She folded the paper, knowing that Jack was just being dramatic. He wouldn't actually leave her like this, not without a proper goodbye. Not after the last two years.
She tapped his name on her phone, and it went straight to voicemail. She sent him text after text, none of them showing the delivered note beneath them. If Jack Moreno blocked her number, she was going to murder him. She gave him credit for the lengths he was willing to go to, though.
In a mild spiral (for she still didn't believe any of this could possibly be happening), Mia called Esme as she paced around their apartment. The line rang through until it hit Esme's voicemail, and when it beeped, Mia's spiral quickly worsened.
"Hey, call me when you can. Jack left a weird note and he's not home andâ" Mia stopped as she noticed his key on the table by their front door. She hung up the call, and she cried.
***
Mia skipped Sunday family dinner for the first time in months. She ignored the texts she got from Andy. She ignored the calls she got from her parents. The only person she didn't ignore was Esme, who showed up that night with two pints of ice cream and Legally Blonde.
When she stepped inside, her mouth widened to a smile. "It smells like a bakery in here."
Mia led her into the kitchen where six dozen chocolate chip cookies were neatly arranged on plates.
"If I'd known you were going to do this much stress baking, I wouldn't have brought ice cream. Oh! But we can make ice cream sandwiches."
"Sure," Mia said with a shrug. "I'll take the rest to the shelter tomorrow before work."
Esme stopped and put her hands on Mia's shoulders. "I'm sure everything is fine. He's probably at Logan's or something. I tried calling but couldn't get through. Just give him a day or so. Last night was rough."
Mia nodded, but then she grabbed the letter Jack left her and turned it over to Esme, who read it quickly, eyes going wide.
"Jesus. Are you sure Jack wrote this?"
Mia didn't respond.
"Sorry, stupid joke. Really, just give it a little time."
Mia shook her head. "His work clothes are gone. His toothbrush. His razor. His cologne and his shoes and his..." Mia stopped and took a breath. "His grandfather's watch. It's literally the only material thing he'd run into a fire for. He'd probably save that watch before he saved me."
"Then maybe it's good that he's gone," Esme said.
Mia rolled her eyes. "I was being hyperbolic."
"Were you?"
Mia sighed.
"Go sit in the other room. Put this movie in. In a few days, this will all seem silly. This is what you two do. It's going to be okay."
But Mia knew it wasn't; Mia knew this time was different.
***
For the next few days, Mia moved through the motions of her life. She considered dropping by Logan's or Jack's parents' house after work to see if he were there, at least until Esme texted her confirming that he was staying with Logan. When she pressed for details, Esme said her only proof was that she drove by and saw Jack's car. At least you know he's okay, she said, as if that were any sort of consolation, but Mia knew he was likely far from okay, and the fact that he completely cut her off bit her to her core.
And yet her bones still positively ached for him, and that was the most confusing of it all.
It was at this juncture that Mia cycled between anger and sadness. Anger over all of the work she put in that amounted to nothing. Sadness over the loss of the man, regardless of their tumultuous times, she thought she might be with forever. Anger over the way he left her with zero closure. Sadness over the way he made her feel like he would do anything for her, even to his own detriment. Sadness over the way he tried so hard to be better for her. Sadness over the way she would never be able to save him. Love can be a wonderful, horrible affair.
As Mia was leaving work that week, her boss flagged her down and called her into his office.
"Do you mind pulling that door closed?" he asked.
"No problem, Taye." She did so and took a seat across from his desk. "What's up?"
Taye smiled warmly. "Was going to ask you the same. Everything alright? Your mom doing okay?"
Mia harshly chastised herself in her head for clearly having been off her game that week. "Yeah. I mean, yes. Sorry. She's doing well, actually. She only has a few more physical therapy sessions left. It'll be nice for her to feel the most like herself again. Thank you for asking."
"That's excellent news. And, selfishly, somewhat good for me to hear as well as it makes what I'm going to ask you a little easier."
Mia's brain was already completely worn out, and she could barely follow whatever he was trying to say to her. "Sorry?"
He smiled. "Did you know you are our number one recruiter?"
Mia shook her head.
"Yes. In fact, on the surveys we send out to prospective students, your name is the one they always remember."
Mia blushed. She worked really hard at her job, and knowing that she was at least doing one thing right in her life stirred something within her.
"Which is why I think you'd be the best person for the project I'm about to offer you."
She smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a week. "Oh, thank you. Sure, what does it entail?"
Taye paused, folding his hands on his desk. "A pay raise, for one."
Mia nodded. "I like where this is headed."
"And a small little move a few hours west to Seattle to our new satellite campus," Taye said, all sort of rushed together.
"Huh?"
"You're the best I've got, Mia. If I could have you at that campus for a year, I know the numbers would grow exponentially. I don't need an answer now. Take some time to think about it."
Mia had no words. Instead, she nodded once again, taking a deep breath.
"Really. We've got time. They're still finalizing some things up there. Just think about it, okay?"
"Okay. I will. Thank you, really." As she stood, she extended her hand. Taye took it and gave it a firm shake.
***
That evening, rather than go home to her empty apartment once again, Mia drove over to Andy's place. She hadn't talked to him since seeing him at the lake, and she'd been too much of a coward to even attempt to broach the subject. That, and, well, she was distracted.
Mia still had a key for Andy's apartment. She'll never forget what he told her when she tried to give it back: "Keep it. It won't be long before you need it again." Remembering that made her blood boil.
She rapped on his door, and a minute or so later it swung open, the smell of pizza wafting out to greet her.
Andy did a double take before his mouth morphed into a frown. "Mia."
"Andrew."
He rolled his eyes at her. "Are you coming in or not?"
Her turn. Andy moved back into his apartment and she followed, shutting the door behind her.
Mia stood at the door, unsure of why she decided to come over in the first place. Then, she was tired of being unsure of things. She was tired of always taking the safe way out.
"You had no right to behave the way you did at the lake last weekend."
He scoffed from the kitchen as he put a slice of pizza on a paper plate. "Are you, like, tough or something now? You hung out with Jack and his friends and actually partook in their activities and now you're, what, a badass? I had every right to try to help you. Just be grateful I didn't tell mom and dad aboutâ"
"God, would you listen to yourself? You don't even know what happened that night."
"Then tell me, Mia. Tell me how you let one mediocre idiot ruin everything about you."
Mia shook her head, willing the tears to stay behind her eyes. "Jack is not an idiot."
"So you agree that he's mediocre?"
Mia huffed. "What is wrong with you? Mom and dad raised us to be compassionate, to want to help other people, toâ"
"Sure, but not at the expense of ourselves." Andy looked so smug, and it woke a wrath in Mia she never knew she possessed.
"I accidentally ate something I shouldn't have. Jack was taking me home to take care of me and ensure nothing happened. Not that this is even any of your business. You act like he's some scumbag, but you don't know anything at all about him."
Andy started laughing, and this nearly sent her over the edge. "I know he's a disaster, Mia. He's clearly doing something shady, and it's only a matter of time before he drags you into it. How is it that with the job he has, he still has to rely on you for as much financial support as he does?"
She seethed at this, willing to defend Jack to the end, no matter where their relationship stood. "Per usual, you've got about half the story right. Jack does make decent money, but do you know where it ends up? His parents' bank account. His mom hasn't worked in twenty years. Almost half of his salary goes to his dad to help him keep a roof over their heads, food in their fridge, heat in the winter. Maybe think about that the next time you get paid and get to keep the entire check for yourself."
Andy stood there motionless, pizza growing cold on his plate, not saying a word.
"You think you know everything," Mia said, "but you don't. All you want is to make him feel like a terrible person, for reasons I really can't understand."
Andy was shaking his head. "He's treated you like shit, Mia. He's broken up with you, taken advantage of you, constantly relied on you forâ"
"Do you have any idea the kind of trauma he's grown up with? We grew up in your typical white-picket-fence fairy tale. Not everyone has had the same privileges we've had. Not everyone had a picture perfect childhood."
Something changed in Andy, a quiet anger taking him over. "That's so easy for you to say, isn't it? Your parents wanted you."
Mia stilled. "Andyâ" she started towards him, but he put up a hand.
"Don't. My parents didn't want me. You and mom and dad are the ones who did." Andy was breathing heavily, and he paused to collect himself. "I need to keep you all happy. I need to keep you safe. I would literally die for any one of you because you gave me a life I could have never had."
Andy was no longer looking at her. His plate of food was on the counter. His hands gripped the edge. Mia walked over to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"You're right. I've never thought about what it may be like to be in your position, and you shouldn't feel that burden of responsibility. I'm sorry."
Andy inhaled deeply. Then, he turned around and hugged her. "I'm sorry, too. I, Iâ" he sighed, let go of Mia, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. "I need to apologize to Jack."
Mia shook her head in confusion. "What? Why?"
"Is he here? In the car? I need to apologize for something I said last weekend."
Mia swallowed the lump in her throat. "What did you say?"
Andy's frown deepened, penitent. "That I hoped he'd take better care of you than he does his mother."
Mia felt the color drain from her face. "Andy."
"I didn't know! Really, I've only heard rumors about things. I didn't know he was helping them financially, and I was angry when I said it."
"Oh, my God." Mia slumped against the counters, burying her face in her hands. Somewhere, deep within her, she knew Andy's words ultimately had a part in Jack leaving her. "Jack left last Sunday. I haven't seen him since."
"Shit, Mia. Is that why you didn't come over last weekend? I assumed it was because of what happened the night before."
Mia started crying, not because of her brother, not because of the mess her life had become, but because she knew Jack would have taken what Andy said to him and internalized it until he was the ultimate villain, the worst person to walk on earth.
Andy, trying to console her, pulled her hands from her eyes. "It's okay. He'll come back. You two always..." but he stopped, and Mia noticed.
"What?"
Andy cleared his throat. "Don't get upset, okay?"
"I'm already highly upset, you moron."
Andy put his hands up in surrender. "Dad made Jack promise that if you two broke up again, Jack would end it completely. He wouldn't keep dragging you back in."
"What the hell? Jack doesn't drag me back in. I'm an adult. I make my own choices in life. How do you even know this? Dad told you?"
Andy nodded. "I talked to him after Jack visited him. He called me and asked me if I knew anything about it."
Far too much had been said that night, and Mia couldn't even begin to separate through what she was feeling. "I need to go. I need to be alone right now."
"Let me drive you home," Andy said as he held out a hand to her.
"I'm tired of you and dad and Jack thinking I can't do anything on my own. I'll be fine."
Andy pulled back on her. "I really thinkâ"
"I don't give a shit what you think."
He recoiled, letting go of Mia's arm and shock taking over his features.
***
By the time Mia made it back to her apartment, her face was splotchy and red from crying. But Mia wasn't sad anymore; she was angry with herself for letting so many other people dictate what she did with her life.
Mia was tired of having stayed in one place forever. She was tired of Winchester and everything about it. Mia didn't need the job her boss was offering her; she could find a new job in another state just as easily. She could get away from all of this. She could be whoever she wanted to be.
That night, Mia stayed up late researching and applying to a variety of jobs she had the skills for, everything in higher education from fundraising to event planning to recruitment to student affairs.
Not a single one was within her home state, and she had never been so ready, so excited for a change.
Before settling into bed that night, Mia texted Esme. If Jack were really going to do this, she was done. She was no longer going to break her back for him.
"I can't do anything about Jack anymore. If you see him or talk to him or whatever it is, please don't tell me. I need time."
When Mia woke up the next morning, Esme's response was simple: "no problema, chica."
a/n: hey hi hello! How are you? My goal is to finish this before the Wattys close and maybe submit it. Maybe.
Did you know I joined TikTok? It's kind of a disaster but I'm trying. That's all we can ask of ourselves, right? My username is the same as my Instagram: novels_and_coffee if you'd like to see occasional poorly executed cat videos and book promos.
I hope you're having an excellent day. Please tap that star to vote and comment to let me know what you think of this chapter or where you think things are going â¤ï¸
Love,
L