It's almost as if the world had stopped. Her heart went from racing to a steady, near-death slow beating. How can the world be so cruel? Why must it make life so difficult? Hitler was a spawn of Satan and if he just accepted that his nation lost the first war, we wouldn't be in this situation.
She's seen this same thing happen to others but never believed it would happen to her. Her leg bounced up and down, causing the table to shake faintly with it. Almost as if there was a mini earthquake. The interrogation room was quiet. The facial expressions twisting in misery as names after names of crews were called out, questioning those who made it back the whereabouts they went down.
Shame-faced and distraught, the crews that made it back desperately checked their maps to see the last seen coordinates of their fellow pilots. It had been a dangerous mission. One that didn't go as planned. The action that had happened in the air had taken a toll on the men's memory. They couldn't remember where or when things happened while they desperately fought for their lives, watching planes drop left right and center.
Curt was gone.
She was informed about what had happened earlier in the debrief as his name was one of the first to be said. One of the men had piped up, saying that he called in over the radio that his co-pilot was badly injured. He had attempted to land safely on German territory in hopes to get him some sort of medical attention. Unfortunately, his plane had plummeted to the ground, going up in flames almost immediately.
Her best friend was dead. Dead because he tried to help someone. Dead in an instant.
Her head couldn't comprehend the mental stress that it was undergoing. Buck was missing as well. The good part for him was that it was said someone saw parachutes before his plane went down too. She had hope. Hope that he was still alive. She knew she would see him again, she just didn't know when. She convinced herself earlier that Buck would do anything to stay alive.
The tears were welling up in Y/N's eyes, yet she dared not to let them fall. Not in front of the captain, not in front of anyone. She wasn't weak, she could hold herself together until the meeting was over, but she was breaking.
The worst part of it all is Bucky decided to go on a little adventure when he found out he didn't have to fly. Probably to another bar. The only man she could go to in this moment was out doing god knows what, while she has to listen to the 'no's' and 'we didn't mark it down'. Every time she heard those words being repeated, the light inside her dimmed a little bit more. How did this happen? How did they manage to lose so many?
It wasn't just Y/N who thought this way. On the other side of the room was the captain. Fists and jaw clenched tightly, disappointed with the lack of information he was receiving. He had lost some of his best pilots and he was lost on what to do.
She couldn't last in the meeting much longer, not with everything she was hearing. Standing up abruptly, she pushes her chair back under the desk forcefully, creating a loud screeching noise that earned her a few turns of heads and walked out of the interrogation room. Everyone could see how burdened she was by the news of losing her close friends. No one had dared to say anything, thinking it was best not to and throwed her a few sympathetic looks instead. They knew Bucky would be there for her once he got back but right now, she was fragile. One wrong move and she would break without intention.
She slammed her cabin door shut, pressing her back against the rough wooden door. She slid down to the floor slowly, the weight of the day hitting her hard. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her head back until it hit the door with a soft 'thud'. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, the familiar scent of her room bringing a sense of comfort to her distraught state.
Curtis Biddick. The man who she bumped into when she was only seven, the man she spent almost the entirety of her life with, the man she could go to for anything, the man who would do anything to ensure her safety was gone. Not to mention he could never get a proper burial. She was destroyed. The thought of losing him, but now she had actually lost him, and she didn't know what to do.
A tear fell silently over her cheek, followed by a few more that cascaded down her face, landing on the floor beside her. She opened her eyes, vision becoming blurry with the flood of tears that slowly made their way out of her tear ducts.
Curt's mom had let Y/N in the house, telling her that she could find her son in the living room. She had come to his house after going on a date with Miles. He had tried to get her to go home with him, but she told him that her parents had wanted her home right after.
No, her parents didn't actually want her home. In fact, if Miles had offered in front of them, they would've pushed her out the door with him.
It wasn't the greatest night. Constantly listening to the man gloat about his wealth and trying to swoon the young woman only made her want to leave even more.
Now, she was walking through the Biddick household, trying to find her best friend. Once, she made it to the living room, Curt was sat on the couch, occupied with books about piloting surrounding the coffee table with a dim yellow light creating a warm atmosphere around him. He sat at the edge, hunched over these books, trying to memorize every bit he could. His hair was disheveled from the constant brush back of his hands. He was wearing khaki trousers with a tight fitted t-shirt.
Y/N knocks on the doorframe, causing the man to look up from his novel, a smile creeping onto his face once he sees who it is.
"Hey angel, how was the date?", he chuckles, closing the book he was reading and stands up, making his way towards her, his feet padding against the wooden floors.
She clasps her hands together and brings them up to her chest, smiling dreamily. "Oh, just fantastic. Miles is the sweetest man, and I just adore him", she says with a tone laced with sarcasm, dropping her hands as Curt leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.
"That bad, huh?"
"That bad", she sighs, looking at the messy room behind him. "What are you working on?"
"Oh, uhm", he looks back behind him, following her gaze and scratches the top of his head. "I was reading about planes. I was thinking about becoming a pilot."
"A pilot?", she raises her eyebrows in surprise, looking up at Curt who help an unsure expression.
"Yeah...", he nods looking back down at her.
"That's awesome, Curt."
"It's nothing, really. But for now...", he drags on, walking backwards, ushering Y/N to follow suit to which she does. "Someone just went on a bad date and needs to be cheered up."
"No, it's okay. I didn't mean to interrupt your studying", she apologizes where he just waves her off.
He makes his way to the record player, picking out a disc he knew she'd like and places it on the player. He grabs the arm and sets the needle on the edge of the record. A low scratching sound can be heard as it drags across the grooves before music begins to filter in through the room. He grabs a dial and turn it clockwise, the low tunes now becoming louder.
Satisfied with the song, he looks over at the girl who stands in the middle of the room, shaking her head, yet couldn't stow away the smile that was twitching at the corners of her lips. He strides over to her, putting a hand out for her to take. "May I have this dance?"
She looks down at his hand then back at the beaming man who was stood before her and nods, taking his hand in hers, "You may."
He brings her to an empty spot in the room and places his other hand on her waist as she puts hers on his shoulder. The two sway to the rhythm of the song, moving their feet in sync with one another. He lets go of her for a moment to spin her around then brings her closer once more.
Y/N leans her head on his shoulder and breathes out. "Thank you, Curt", she says quietly, not wanting to break the moment.
"No need to thank me, angel", he responds, keeping her near.
The two continue dancing for what felt like hours. Just the two of them, enjoying the company and peace they brought each other. Though what I said earlier about it just being the two of them would be a lie, with Cutis' mother standing in the kitchen with a smile illuminating her face as she watches the kids dance in the soft melody that filled the house.
Knock, Knock
Y/N had been sat on the floor for over an hour, recalling a memory that she never wishes to forget, though the sound of a fist on her door had snapped her out of it. Not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment she decided to ignore it, turning her head to the side to look out at the fog covered field. The knocking returned shortly after, making her groan in annoyance.
"Y/N, open the door please", a muffled voice sounds out from the opposite side.
She debated whether or not she should listen to him. But her heart getting the better of her made her push herself up from the floor, slowly at that. She had been sitting in the same position for too long and her legs had cramped up. Once she had stood up, she stretches out her legs, trying to wake them back up.
She grabs ahold of the door handle, twisting it open as it lets out a creek and pulls the door open. "Hey, Bucky...", she smiles slightly, using her sleeve to wipe away the tears that had dried against her cheeks, realizing that she forgot to do it before.
His face dropped even more after seeing her in the state she was in. Her eyes were glossy and red with the remnants of tear streaks that lined her face, and her hair was messy from moving it around across the door. She looked weak.
Bucky had phoned the base after leaving a woman's house, questioning his fellow pilots on what had happened. The moment he heard about the catastrophe that had ensued, he raced back and went straight to the captain who filled him in on everything. He wasted no time in going to find Y/N, his mind clouded with worry.
She moved aside to let him in where he followed in almost immediately. He grabbed the door for her and closed it behind him. The two just stared at each other for a minute, a million thoughts flying between them without ushering a word. They knew what the other was thinking but no one knew what to say. What was there to say? What could you say?
Bucky made the first move forward, outstretching his arms and enveloping Y/N in a hug. He held her tightly, not wanting to let go, almost as if he was afraid she'd disappear if he did. Copying his actions, the girl wraps her arms around his torso, burying her face into his chest. One of Bucky's hands stay firmly pressed against her back while the other moves to the back of her head.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart...", he mumbles against her hair, breathing in the wonderful scent of her perfume that he cherishes deeply.
That was enough for Y/N to break. More than she had earlier. Her chocked sobs coming out louder as she let out the heartbreak she tried ever so desperately to hold in. She held onto him tighter, pulling on his jacket, making her want him to come in closer. She needed him, just as much as he needed her.