Chapter 23: CH 23

Chapter 23

Fu Jia was trembling.

He wrapped his arms around him tighter and tighter, and the tighter the hold the more obvious his trembling was.

He used too much strength, causing discomfort to Lu Qi’an’s neck and shoulders. But Lu Qi’an didn’t express this aloud.

The school's infirmary was near the dormitory area, quite a distance away from the sports fields, so Lu Qi'an took Fu Jia to the emergency medical room in the gymnasium. Although the room was close and convenient, there normally weren’t any teachers on duty.

Despite having no teachers around, the infirmary was still unlocked. Lu Qi'an walked in and squatted down in front of a couch: "Come down?"

Fu Jia didn't react for a long while.

Lu Qi’an switched to a stern tone: “Come down.”

This time, Fu Jia obediently let go of his hold.  He landed on his feet, with one foot on the cold tile floor, causing him to realize that they had left the shoe he had taken off back on the track. He was now barefoot.

Fu Jia scrunched his toes, glancing at Lu Qi'an carefully.

Lu Qi’an pretended he didn’t see anything and said: “You stay here, I’ll go find a teacher.”

Fu Jia anxiously shook his head: “No need! Just stay here…”

His eyes wandered around: “The door wasn’t locked, which means that there’s a teacher on duty today. Maybe he’ll come in a bit, so we can sit here together and wait for him.”

Fu Jia spoke with confidence, but lost this same confidence after he finished speaking. He reluctantly added: “Is that okay…”

Lu Qi'an stood up straight and said: "There’s someone in the office next door, let me go ask."

As Fu Jia sat on the couch, he rubbed the cushion with conflicted emotions, and nodded.

Fu Jia was worried that he wouldn’t come back once he left, but Lu Qi'an said that he’d be back soon, and he really did return within five minutes.

"The teacher on duty is temporarily busy, I’ve already contacted her. She’ll try to get here within 20 minutes."

Fu Jia made an “en” sound, but didn’t care at all whether the teacher was coming. He said to him: “Thank you… then what’re you going to do now? Are you going back to class?”

He gave Lu Qi’an an even stare.

He wanted Lu Qi’an to stay here.

"I'm neither a patient nor a doctor, so I have no reason to stay here," said Lu Qi’an.

Instantly, Fu Jia’s eyes dimmed and his shoulders drooped. Even his back bent considerably. He used everything he could muster to show his disappointment.

He whispered, "You need a reason for everything you do."

His voice was very light as if he finally understood the truth.

"What did you say?" Lu Qi'an frowned.

Fu Jia took a deep breath, straightened his back again, and said: “My foot’s in pain, I'm scared, and I want you to stay here and accompany me. Are those reasons enough?"

Lu Qi'an was slightly taken aback.

Would a normal person act like this? Saying ‘I'm afraid’ so energetically, with such a determined look on his face.

Lu Qi'an didn't answer right away. He understood that Fu Jia was making a fuss for no reason. With all things considered, he should go back to class. He didn’t have a note of absence from the teacher, nor did Fu Jia. He should go back to the sports field and explain the situation to his teacher, and then explain it to Fu Jia's teacher. Otherwise, a student’s sudden disappearance from class will greatly trouble the teacher.

He knew what he should and shouldn’t do, but he didn’t immediately reject Fu Jia.

Fu Jia said he was in pain; said he was scared.

After a lot of thinking, Lu Qi’an only had this one thought in his mind.

In the end, he decided to stay next to Fu Jia.

The couch in the emergency medical room was very small, with just enough space for the two of them to sit on and left no more than a distance of two fists. One reach, and they could touch the other.

For a long time, neither of them spoke. They simply sat next to each other.

Fu Jia's palms gradually dampened with sweat.

"I..." he said, "I just need you to accompany me until the teacher comes over, it only takes twenty minutes."

Lu Qi'an didn't look at him, then quietly said, “En”.

Fu Jia peeked twice at him, and seeing that he was neither angry nor frowning, felt more relaxed.

Fu Jia racked his brains to come up with something to say that would make Lu Qi'an happy. Soon, he thought of studying, then connected the thought to weekly tests, before finally recalling his report card.

"I happen to have this week’s report card with me," he said in a tone that seemed to be showing off a treasure, "I can show it to you.”

Because Big Head wanted to peek at it earlier, he slid the report card into his pocket. Now that he was excitedly taking it out, the wrinkled folds of the report card were exceptionally noticeable. He didn’t think anything of it when he was showing it to Big Head, but now he felt like he couldn’t display this in front of Lu Qi’an.

He said, “Wait a moment,” while working hard to smooth out the wrinkles.

Seeing the tattered paper in his hand, Lu Qi'an thought of the time when Fu Jia came to his apartment asking for help with the workbook he taped together.  At that time, his face was wounded. The two times were very similar, so he asked: "Why is it wrinkled?"

Fu Fu# didn't remember what happened last time and said: "I crumpled it myself."

Lu Qi’an’s tone was indifferent: “Fu Jia, you fell by yourself and managed to get a knife wound in the face from it, tore a workbook by yourself and managed to glue it back together, and now you crumpled your report card by yourself. So next, are you going to say that you stomped on yourself today and managed to get a wound from it?”

After the words spilt out of his mouth, Lu Qi’an was a bit taken aback. Fu Jia’s little lies actually drove him to say such irrational words, acting as if he was someone who’d been severely angered.

Fu Jia was startled. His damp hands lost their grip and wiped off some ink from the report card.

Both his hands froze, and then he said: “It’s the truth this time. Someone wanted to look at my report card, but I felt embarrassed, so I crumpled it up.”

He covered the report card with his hand and said: “Then…then let’s not look at it.”

Lu Qi’an organized his emotions and replied: “It’s fine, show it to me.”

Fu Jia said: "The paper’s too dirty, why don’t I read it for you?"

Lu Qi'an reached out, pushed away Fu Jia's hand, and then took the report card away. Fu Jia's hand froze in its pushed-away position.

The ranking of ‘eighteenth’ was the most noticeable detail on the paper. Apart from that, there wasn't any red ink on the paper, meaning that Fu Jia didn’t fail any subjects.

For an incompetent student who had just transferred from No. 16 High School to No. 6 High Middle School, it was quite remarkable to achieve this result upon the first attempt at No. 6 High School’s depraved weekly tests.

Even if… Lu Qi’an carried Fu Jia through a question.

"Why are you embarrassed? You did well on the test," As he spoke, he folded the report card in half and handed it back to Fu Jia.

Fu Jia was very pleasantly surprised: "Did I do well on the exam?"

He was so ecstatic that he forgot to use his hands and take the report card back.

When he didn't take it back, Lu Qi'an grabbed his wrist and pulled his palm closer, and placed down the folded report card: “Not bad, but not great either. There’s still room to improve, so don’t relax yet.”

Fu Jia glanced blankly at the palm of his hand, and then blankly looked back at Lu Qi'an.

Was he imagining it?

Lu Qi'an praised him, and with such a gentle attitude too.

He was only in eighteenth place….did a grade like this suffice?

Did it have the ability to please him?

The moment Lu Qi'an was about to let go of his hand, the moment his fingertips were about to pull away, Fu Jia took his hand into his.

"L-L-Lu Qi’an, I...I have something to tell you!" He stammered a bit, but nonetheless, his tone was resolute.

His hand suddenly being held, Lu Qi’an struggled to keep calm. His face tensed, but at the least, he didn’t shake off Fu Jia’s hand, nor did he frown.

“If you want to say something, then say it. But talking doesn’t require hand-holding.”

This tone was cold. This was the Lu Qi'an that Fu Jia was familiar with.

He let go of his hand, but his lingering fingers brushed against the back of Lu Qi'an's hand.

This behaviour could be considered perverted. Fu Jia held some resentment towards himself, but he really felt out of control.

"What I want to say is– Lu Qi'an, you’re too good to me..." Fu Jia's voice dropped, then rose again: “You are so good that I want you. I want you so much.”

After saying these words, the tense strings in Fu Jia's mind loosened. This wasn’t to say that these strings slackened, but that they completely snapped.

Because Lu Qi'an didn’t like his rudeness and unreasonableness, he tried hard to be well-behaved and sensible. He achieved it, yet no matter how much he tried, his nature remained the same.

He was a person who’d use goodwill as a stepping stone. If given a bit of hope, then he’d snatch all that he could from the hands of the other.

If one person said to another, ‘I want you,’ what would that mean?

This could have many interpretations: crazy, serious, or even sexual.

Lu Qi'an wasn't surprised, and even kept a calm demeanour: “You want me. How do you want me?”

Fu Jia's mood was complicated.# #

He never understood what sort of ‘want’ he felt either.

At the start, Fu Jia didn’t even want to approach Lu Qi’an. His feelings changed one day when he dreamed that he beat Lin Fengxun and snatched Lu Qi'an away from him. Through this dream, he realized that he felt jealous of Lin Fengxun.

He had never been jealous of the love Lin Fengxun received from his parents or his affluent lifestyle. He’d even feel pity towards this bedridden little brother. But when he watched Lu Qi'an through the small window, he began to feel jealous.

Lu Qi’an was an older brother who loved to teach others and pretend that he was an adult. He never smiled and acted unhappy all day long.

But he was also so meticulous, gentle and considerate. He knew everything Lin Fengxun wanted to know and could help him solve any problem.

Fu Jia also wanted such a person.

Not only that, but he wanted Lin Fengxun to no longer have Lu Qi'an. He wanted no one else in the world to have Lu Qi’an but him alone.

Step by step, day by day, his jealousy evolved into a longing for Lu Qi’an, and this longing was his only appeal to the concept of love.

Romantic love, platonic love, and even familial love, he projected all this onto Lu Qi’an.

He wants him, wants him so much that he’s turning crazy.

“I want you to love me.”

Fu Jia’s words were firm.

The medical room was silent for several seconds. Lu Qi'an closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, there was only calm and indifference in his eyes.

He said: “Impossible.”

Fu Jia stared at him fiercely, this ruthless sentence had caused him to tremble all over.

He took a deep breath, and when the fresh air entered his body, he grabbed Lu Qi'an by the collar and pressed on him, looking for his lips. Lu Qi'an was caught off guard and for a moment he was crushed under, unable to move. Fu Jia seized this opportunity to kiss him on the lips with his eyes closed.

It was a kiss, yet it wasn’t like a kiss. Fu Jia simply crashed into him, and he wouldn’t do anything else except rub his mouth against Lu Qi’an’s.

Lu Qi’an didn’t completely close his lips due to surprise, but Fu Jia didn’t use this opportunity to let himself in.

Soon, Lu Qi'an reacted and pushed him away, then pressed him against the back of the sofa. Lu Qi’an used a hundred percent of his strength, but half its effect was in vain as Fu Jia’s limp body pulled away after one push.

Moreover, Fu Jia’s face was abnormally red and his eyes oddly misted over.

Lu Qi'an's face was blue and red, with a frown he rubbed his lips using the back of his hand.

Fu Jia looked at him, unable to immediately come to his senses. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to describe his current mood as ecstatic. He wasn’t ashamed of kissing in the school's infirmary, nor was he ashamed of kissing others forcibly. He simply thought of its endless aftertaste and wanted to do it a thousand times again.

Lu Qi'an's eyes were full of anger, but Fu Jia didn’t feel any fear. He swallowed and leaned towards Lu Qi'an again.

"No," said Lu Qi'an, "We’ve agreed that you need to get my consent to do such a thing."

Fu Jia nodded and asked: "Then can I kiss you?"

Lu Qi’an’s face instantly darkened: “No.”

Fu Jia still wasn’t put off and continued to say: “From today onwards, I want to pursue you, pursuing you as a suitor, is that okay?”

Lu Qi’an’s expression was complicated. He didn’t answer right away.

Suddenly, the clicks of high heels interrupted the two of them. The sound approached from afar and gradually got closer. A few seconds later, a female teacher walked into the infirmary while panting.

“You’ve waited for a long time, classmate,” She was holding her bag and coat in one hand, and a shoebox in the other, "How is the injury? Has it stopped bleeding?"

She tossed the things she was holding onto the desk as she spoke, and only then did she have time to look at the two students sitting inside.

With this glance, it was clear that something was strange. The two boys were sitting so close that one was practically on top of the other, and although both of their faces were red, one of them had a tight frown and anger almost bursting out his eyes.

Just as she was about to ask, the one with a pale face stood up from the couch, nodded to her, greeted "Hello", and then left the infirmary.

"What happened here…" She had a feeling that the two students had a conflict. Though she found the situation a bit humorous, she couldn’t laugh anymore once she looked at the one who stayed behind.

Fu Jia's eyes were completely red, staring at the floor in a daze.

He didn't cry, but the female teacher was worried. If she hadn't known about his injury from the phone in advance, she would have thought that Fu Jia had a bone or internal injury.